The most absurd thing about the Talmud is that the more spicy passages /pol/ likes to bring up like “goyim are subhuman” are usually buried in arguments over shit like “is it kosher to clip your toenails on the Sabbath.”This text is schizophrenia.
It's legalism that turns into absurdity because of the abstract logical extremeIt's like when Bill Clinton started questioning the definition of "sexual relations" and what the word "is" meant during the Lewinsky scandal, but in the Talmud it's built up by several rabbis over generations
Are dancing boys kosher?
>taking your religion seriously instead of a signal in the culture war is schizophrenia
I rather like the Oven of Akhnai. Basically seven rabbi are arguing over wether a specific kind of oven is kosher. Six say they're right, the seventh says he's right. The six say "Well, there's more of us" and the seventh proceeds to invoke a miracle to prove he's correct. The six say "Nah, we're right" so the seventh invokes ANOTHER miracle. This goes on until the seventh has God himself announce LISTEN DIPSHITS HE'S RIGHT and the six go "Yeah but we've got the torah here and you're up there, God". God throws up his hands, says his children have defeated him and leaves.
>>18292142I like to think the teaching is "dont trust anyone saying 'I'm God' or 'I speak for God' because they have their sacred book which (to them), it's the word of God. I'm probably coping however.
>>18292183It's generally interpreted as "God's not going to give us direct instruction anymore, interpret The Law yourself". Personally, when seven holy men gather and one of those holy men points at the sky to settle an argument and says "If I'm right, God will do this" several times in a row, and God does, followed by a booming voice from the sky saying "He's right, the oven is fine you fucking spergs" I'm pretty sure you can take it as read that God's speaking to you. Fucking rabbis.
>>18292252In their own way these spergs are kind of lovable even if some of their beliefs are horrifying.
>>18292133Yes
>>18292420I encourage you to check out the physical pages of the assorted talmudic commentaries or the zohar or something. They're very interesting visually and utterly insane. I don't know if you're a tabletop gamer, but there was a system called Shadowrun where sourcebooks were published with an 'in universe live reaction' years before youtube, with comments from in universe characters being placed near specific bits of text. That's basically all jewish literature - it's scattered in text. Physically in the text. And they're all identified by profession rather than name, so you get the shoemaker talking about demons of the fifth sephira eating his holy toes or just what kind of divining is permitted by The Slop Vendor. And then you get further comments on these comments.I'll cop to being more comfortable with absolute jewish monotheism - or maybe I should say arianism, whatever, I denounce the talmud and manachem m schneerson or whatever the spergs want me to say this week - than I am with the idea of the trinity and co-equal+co-eternal but I just wish the law wasn't so utterly schizophrenic and so utterly warped by all these commentaries. You want to fight with an orthodox hieromonk? Tell him the schism was an overreaction to a translation issue with the filioque and you've got a 50/50 shot that he's going to deck you. You want to fight with a rabbi? Say hello. Or ask just what the membership fees in his synagogue are.I have a copy of biblical hebrew grammar somewhere with my never opened copy of wheelock's latin. Maybe I should get around to reading the fucking thing.
>>18292252Dude, there’s literally a story in the Talmud saying not to listen to God even in that exact scenario.>The Oven of Akhnai>Rabbi Eliezer then said to them: If the halakha is in accordance with my opinion, the walls of the study hall will prove it. The walls of the study hall leaned inward and began to fall. Rabbi Yehoshua scolded the walls and said to them: If Torah scholars are contending with each other in matters of halakha, what is the nature of your involvement in this dispute? The Gemara relates: The walls did not fall because of the deference due Rabbi Yehoshua, but they did not straighten because of the deference due Rabbi Eliezer, and they still remain leaning.>Rabbi Eliezer then said to them: If the halakha is in accordance with my opinion, Heaven will prove it. A Divine Voice emerged from Heaven and said: Why are you differing with Rabbi Eliezer, as the halakha is in accordance with his opinion in every place that he expresses an opinion?>Rabbi Yehoshua stood on his feet and said: It is written: “It is not in heaven” (Deuteronomy 30:12). The Gemara asks: What is the relevance of the phrase “It is not in heaven” in this context? Rabbi Yirmeya says: Since the Torah was already given at Mount Sinai, we do not regard a Divine Voice, as You already wrote at Mount Sinai, in the Torah: “After a majority to incline” (Exodus 23:2). Since the majority of Rabbis disagreed with Rabbi Eliezer’s opinion, the halakha is not ruled in accordance with his opinion. The Gemara relates: Years after, Rabbi Natan encountered Elijah the prophet and said to him: What did the Holy One, Blessed be He, do at that time, when Rabbi Yehoshua issued his declaration? Elijah said to him: The Holy One, Blessed be He, smiled and said: My children have triumphed over Me; My children have triumphed over Me.
>>18292252Oh shit, didn’t read your earlier post.
>>18292090Im jewish but taking the Talmud seriously is just insane. Rabbi dick sucking is tiresome. The rambam was a cultural cuck btw.
>>18292090If they said it in an earlier generation it can't be overturned by a later generation, so arguments like "it's not normative, it's just something insane we make our boys study intensively for a decade" are false.Rabbinate-enforced homo-schizophrenia: you HAVE TO partner with another dood in your learning, spend years of your life sharing desks in the sweaty doods' hall, and there's scarcely a woman recorded in Talmud.
>>18292560Outside of ultra-orthodox rabbis, does any Jew still unironically take the Talmud seriously?
>>18293910The talmud is a collection of commentaries. Nobody besides rabbis ever took it seriously. The actual holy text is the tanakh, while the talmud is endless argument over the tanakh. It's where you get pilpul stuff like the eruv wire or shabbos goy or those kosher lightswitches.The cultural expectation is that you'll try to live up to the dictates. As I understand it, rabbi shopping is a thing for a rabbi who isn't insane about the strictures and interpretations - or specific shaylah.
>>18292556And who told that story?
