Post wars which you think are Kino
>>1834591030 years war
War of Jenkins' EarThe battle of Cartagena de Indias was pure unadulterated kino, I can't believe Blas de Lezo is a real character, it sounds made up
I know this is a super popular opinion, but the Napoleonic Wars are straight up cinema. The whole era feels like the purest definition of war, like Europe turned into one giant chessboard. Commanders and armies move like pieces. The strategy is so intricate and almost beautiful in a way. You’ve got clashes, betrayals, shifting alliances, and constant tension on both sides. Even the aesthetics are unreal. The tradition, the uniforms, the sheer presence of it all is so kino. And at the center of everything is Napoleon, this insanely fascinating character. Along with his marshals and enemies, he faced. Some of whom are the most talented generals in history, all with their own personality, ambition, and motivation, colliding on the battlefield. But in the end, Napoleon just steals the show. It’s genuinely crazy he didn’t die during the whole war. The plot armor on this guy beats Caesar and Alexander the Great combined. Such a cool war
>>18345964>The "Absolute Cinema" meme has become a versatile reaction image used across social media platforms like Twitter, TikTok, and RedditYou have to go back.
>>18345964Damn this makes me want to read more about the Napoleonic wars
>>18345915/thread
>>18345910the 80 years war (Dutch revolt) >besieged dutchmen built ships inside the city walls and sallied them out when they flooded the land by destroying dykes>spanish countered this by building a massive 2000 ft bridge across the main flooded section to keep ships from getting supplies>the dutch started building more ships and filling them with gunpowder and ramming them into the bridge
>>18345915This
>>18345964Alexander's conquest of Persia probably mogs all wars ever
Nine Years War (Ireland), contender for the most "kino" war in all of Ireland's history.>1500s Ireland, England's efforts to finally conquer the island are almost complete; only Ulster (northern province) remains independent >3 contesting powers for Ulster, all with their own goals>Hugh O'Neill, Earl of Tír Eoghain, was kidnapped as a child by England and raised in Dublin to be their puppet in Ulster. >Hugh O'Donnell, King of Tír Chonaill, likewise kidnapped by England and kept in prison in Dublin so they can destabalise his home in order to conquer it; the O'Donnells and O'Neills are longtime rivals>Henry Bagenal, English Marshal of the Royal Irish Army, who hates O'Neill and wants to take Ulster for himself.As England began to advance further into Ulster, O'Neill begins to grow disillusioned with them, and helps to break O'Donnell out of prison. Eventually, O'Donnell decides enough is enough and rebels-and is later joined by Hugh O'Neill.>Turns out O'Neill was transforming his territory (Tír Eoghain) into a heavily militarised polity; importing modern arms from abroad and training his men in their use to create a true early-modern Gaelic Irish army>He and O'Donnell march against the English; most rebellions by small independent clans/kingdoms tend to end in defeat, so Bagenal marches to meet them in battle>The Irish Alliance wins>They win again>Bagenal dead, Royal Irish Army shattered>More lords join them>Spain promises aid and sends troops>Multiple large pitched battles between modernised Gaelic armies and typical 16th Century English armies>Political intrigue between Gaelic Lords and the English Court, involvement of an Irish Pirate Queen, a narrowly avoided invasion of Ireland by SpainDisney even made a movie about it in the 1960s, kekked.
>>18345910We need a whole show about the hundred years war in its entierety. Not only about Agincourt, not only about Jeanne of Arc. But from the very beginning to Calais being the last continental english possession. There is so much happening : kino battles, retournment of situation, treasons, unexpected victories, a mad king, assassinations, assassinations during a meeting with the king, civil wars on top of a real, shifting powers, heroes, a litteral divine intervention...Imagine a serie focusing on both sides, following multiple characters and families accross almost 100 years
>>18345964Btw, stuff like this is what makes me feel so sad that the great replacement is happening. All that history just to bring the green line up
>>18346531tossed^
>>18346515>litteral divine intervention>divine>literal>>>/x/
>>18346531>napoleon spreads liberalism across the continent>200 years liberalism reaches its logical conclusion and it's ruining the continentYou're a retard
>>18346542I believe in racist neo-liberalism doe
>>18346550I wish neoliberals were a race so they could be genocided
>>18346557What the heck man
>>18346542Anon, the main belligerent Napoleon faced for most of the Napoleonic wars is probably the single most iconic liberal nation in all of history.
>>18345964Shakos look stupid though.
>>18346564Austria
>>18346542>>18346564Britain and Napoleonic France represent different tendencies of liberalism, to be honest. British liberalism stems from custom, the tension between ruler and ruled caused by the ethnic and linguistic differences between them, and the prioritisation of trade as a national focus because of the precarity of the Amsterdam entrepot and the need to keep Flanders from falling into enemy hands. French liberalism grew as a highly intellectualised movement stemming from the philosophes in the coffee houses, who were consciously charting a middle course between absolutism and anarchy. And, of course, most of said philosophes liked what they saw had organically risen in England and wanted to rationally improve it for France. Whether the liberalism is top-down or bottom-up, I think it's fair to say that Britain and France were Europe's most liberal powers, and yet they went to war anyway. Perhaps those who are anti 'the logical extremes of liberalism' should have been rooting for Prussia, Austria, Spain and Russia to team up and beat Anglo-France.
>>18346600>austria>didn't hear no bellthe bell was called austerlitz
>>18346605Napoleon was hardly liberal. A follower of the enlightenment sure, but he weakened the assembly and made an absolutist state centred around himself. He probably had more similarities with other enlightenment monarchs, such as Catherine the great of Russia or Maximilian III of Bavaria, than liberal Britain. The French republic on the other hand was definitely liberal, and it garnered a lot of support within Britain, there was even a great deal of debate over whether Britain should even go to war or align itself with the new France. Ultimately when the two states went to war it was justified within Britain by pragmatic reasons (what you describe with Flanders) and traditional francophobia. But if someone other than Pitt was in charge it could have easily gone the other way. By comparison war with Napoleonic France was near universally supported, with most of the Britons who'd previously been pro french seeing Napoleon as having betrayed the revolution and were all for his downfall.
>>18345947Wtf, I just read about this war rn and this Blas de Lezo guy sounds badass. He lost an arm, a leg, and an eye by the age of 24 and beat the English. Plus, I didn't know it preceded the 7 years war and possibly created a catalyst to it. Simply because of some guy's pickled ear.
>>18346617Time to raise another 200k strong army
>>18346635spot on, I agree with everything you say, but I will just say as an addendum that early Napoleon was markedly more liberal than autocratic late Napoleon. I don't think this was just shifting expediency, it seems to me that his ideology did profoundly change through his career. Anyhow, had Napoleonic France won and dominated all of Europe, I think it would probably have become more and more liberal as it demilitarised. You can't say the same about the Holy Alliance, where the conservatism was the point.
>>18346509>Disney even made a movie about it in the 1960sWhat?
>>18346531Yeah, same
>>18346515Totally, I would watch that. Unless it has a bipoc female actor in it.
The Neo-Assyrians were peak bad guy vibes.
wars around the french revolution and then the napoleonic wars are pure kino
>>18346944>"I am Ashurbanipal, great king, mighty king, king of the world, king of Assyria, king of the four quarters of the world, king of kings, unrivaled king, who from the upper sea to the lower sea has brought the nations to his feet."
>>18346871The Fighting Prince of Donegal; very fictionalised version of the war. It follows Hugh O'Donnell's story, despite the fact that Hugh O'Neill was definitely the real leader of the Irish Alliance.I think they were inspired by the folklore aspect of O'Donnell's ascension to the throne, which is half true to life; there was an old prophecy in Irish folklore which suggested that a great King named Hugh would appear and drive the foreigners out of Ireland-many in O'Donnell's time believed him to be fulfilling it and used the prophecy to swing support behind him in a dynastic dispute. The movie also invents a bunch of characters (erasing some v important people) but it's sort of a Robin Hood style campy medieval film. iirc it also ends during the middle of the war with a big party; if it followed O'Donnell to the end of his life it'd end with him dying of some illness while trying to raise support in Spain to keep the war going. His death marked a definite end to Spanish involvement, as he was the main tie between Ireland and Spain.
ww2
>>18345910The crusades were like the only times the two biggest religions went to actual war before.But anything after WWII was a fake and gay war thoughbeit. Because World War Two was the last true war ever fought by humanity.Lol.
>>18346984Lol
>>18345910Chinese Civil War and Second Sino-Japanese War were insane
>>18346948THE KING OF TOTALITY
Second Punic War
>>18346948
>>18345910Charles did nothing wrong (even if he was lowk retarded).
As an Englishmen I'm duty bound to say the English Civil War. So many aspects of it are kino:>Cromwell>New Model army>The Trial of Charles I and his beheading>Commonwealth>Putney debatesBut for me its the two converging worlds of traditionalism, one which is ancient and traces its divinity to God and the other; liberalism, which is new and fresh and bursting with ideas. People actively advocating the abolition of private property and for equality. Both are quite romantic and quite pure in their own way but also incredibly flawed and in the end nobody knows how to reconcile all these new energies and ideas.I will post one poem by the Royalist Richard Lovelace who was imprisoned during the war, as it was a golden age of english verse from cavaliers and roundheads alikeTell me not (Sweet) I am unkind, That from the nunneryOf thy chaste breast and quiet mind To war and arms I fly.True, a new mistress now I chase, The first foe in the field;And with a stronger faith embrace A sword, a horse, a shield.Yet this inconstancy is such As you too shall adore;I could not love thee (Dear) so much, Lov’d I not Honour more.
>>18346957Thanks, will watch it tonight
American Revolutionary WarAmerican Civil WarUS’s part in WW2That’s all I’m interested in
>>18345915Such a kino war with a criminally underrated amount of movies, films, games, or documentaries dedicated to it. Never understood how one of the deadliest wars in European history where spears, swords, and armor was still present alongside firearms and cannons, left so little cultural impact on the present day.
>>18346531Even as a brown mutt I genuinely feel bad that Europe is dying. That entire continent is pure kino.
>>18346605>>18346635Only the Anglos are truly liberal. Most Continentals were too low IQ to understand it, thinking that it meant you now had the freedom to steal shit from people you resented.
>>18346564Naps didn't fight against France though
>>18347554It left a lot of cultural impact on germany, it's just that anglos run the world and they didn't participate in it. It's the same with the french wars of religion, they decimated france but anglos, at most, know that they happened but couldn't name a single battle.
>>18346535Most historians don't even refute Jeanne of Arc's divine guidance. Few of them call her schyzo or tell it was a conspiracy but most of them, in regard of all the evidences, simply say she was "led by holy voices" without further development. She had three trials across history, making Jeanne one the most documented person in ancient history. And none of them could ever debunk her.So this is not paranormal, but the single true and irrefutable divine intervention in history.
>>18347956>but the single true and irrefutable divine intervention in histor
>>18345910Anything that involved Crimean Khanate. You just couldn't predict what they would do next
>>18345910Sengoku period or Vietnamese warlords period
>>18347956[citation needed]
>>18347956so she was a schizo, got it
>>18347879Pretty much this, anglos have the money, they have hollywood and they only care about 1% of history, and they do it wrong
