I've gone to 3 now. Problem is, I'm in such a deep state of sin and so socially anxious that they have not been good experiences. I'm sure the evil one is working overtime to keep me his. I don't know what to do. It feels like I'm too far gone, even though I know that's not true. I'm thinking about quitting my job and staying at a monastary until I get to a base-line level where I can actually begin becoming Orthodox, because right now It feels like I can't even begin to engage with the faith.