After staying in the Bengal Province for a while, Tota Puri, who until then had never had any illness in his life caught dysentery, which made his life quite miserable. Thinking about taking his leave and moving away, he approached Ramakrishna but every time he did so he would either forget to mention it, or would feel prevented from speaking about it by someone within him, and then would go back hesitantly. Seeing his frail body and knowing about his condition, Ramakrishna with help of Mathur arranged for a special diet and medicines, all to no avail. Being well versed in Meditation, Tota Puri used to merge his mind into Samadhi at will and thus avoid feeling the pain in his body. However, on one night the pain in his intestines became so intense that his mind was no longer able to merge in Samadhi, and he decided to drown his "cage of bones and flesh" in the river Ganga and be free from the consciousness of having body. He thus set out and on reaching a bank of the river, started walking into it and kept walking further, all the way to almost the other side of the bank. Baffled that there seemed to be not enough water in the river to drown himself, he looked back and found, in one dazzling vision, the sight of the divine Mother, the one beyond Turiya, filling up all the space round him. Feeling awe, and realising that the Brahman he had been worshipping all his life was none other than the divine Mother herself, with a grateful heart he turned back, and spent the remaining night meditating on the divine Mother near the dhuni under Panchavati.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramakrishna#Tota_Puri_humbled
