Anyone else get a feeling of impending doom while they're drawing and voices in their head telling you that you're wasting your time?
I don't.Why can't you be more like me?When I draw I just think about how to draw what I want to draw and why I want to draw it.
>>7895845no
>>7895845From my experience, there's always going to be a voice telling you you're wasting your time on one thing or another. It's just a lil bitch that wants the easy way out and doesn't like expending effort in any capacityJust accept that is there but ignore it and work on what you really love.It gets quieter after time
>>7895861What's strange is that these (multiple) voices don't appear while I am writing. I do this a lot, actually. You can see in the drawing I included that I deleted quite a lot of writing. Writing is something that sort-of comes naturally. Kind of like how drawing comes naturally to most of you who are already good at drawing. But drawing, for whatever reason, both creates a sense of impending doom (heart rate increases dramatically, a pit is in my stomach, and I start to feel ill) along with multiple voices telling me, quite literally, "you're wasting your time."I did burn out before by drawing too much without little progress. I think I figured out how to improve though. Somewhat. But I can't say I'm entirely confident. Even while drawing the feet I had to push through this feeling until I finally started to see improvement and those voices started to go away.I see though that is a particularly unique case. I will continue to document my experience and figuring out ways to mitigate the suffering.>>7895851The voices are intrusive. I, of course, think of the subject matter and try to make an attempt at it but it's not like I am inviting the voices in. No one chooses to have intrusive thoughts. That's why they're intrusive in the first place.
>>7895865I don't know how introspective you but when I have a strange feeling about something or have some unknown aversion to it I like to have a conversation with myself via journalingI separate my psyche into the current me and the more analytical inner voice and have a conversation with it and I usually get answers after some thoughtSuch asMe: Why don't I like thisInner voice: You're using it as a distraction to XYZThat's a gross bastardization of how it works but maybe it'll help you out
>>7895845I always get PTSD flashbacks. Wasting my time is not really my problem tho. If I am not drawing, I just doomscroll or whatever, so drawing is the better option.I just don't really have the patience and willpower anymore to sit down everyday and draw fot hours. Noone really gives a shit about my drawings anyway and it always takes so long to create something decent
>>7895872I tend to fill up about 5-6 pages a day in my journal to do exactly this. While I can justify or reason nearly all of my proclivities and interests, drawing itself seems to elude me.For instance, if I hate drawing so much, why do I keep coming back to it? Why do I get the urge to draw? I can try to run from it. Hide from it. Pretend like drawing isn't real or that it doesn't exist. But it all comes back to me eventually, beckoning me. It feels like an abusive relationship I cannot leave.But part of me wonders if that's really what it is or if it just feels that way. Maybe I'm just gaslighting myself.Believe me, if journaling would've helped me with my introspection, I would have had the answers to these questions years ago.>>7895873I put myself through psychological torture to try to get better at drawing. I thought that if I really did draw for 16 hours a day, like all the bigwigs tell you to do, I would actually improve at drawing. The problem is that this advice isn't actually for beginners even if they think it is. Drawing 16 hours a day only works when you're already really good at drawing not when you're still figuring things out. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson too late and ended up burning out and having a negative view on drawing ever since. I try to ease myself into drawing to repair the damage that has been done but it feels more like a gaping wound than a paper cut.I see drawing as the better option as well.I ended up telling myself: "either you write or you fucking draw, PICK ONE."I'd much rather be writing but it gets exhausting sitting in front of a blank notebook and your mind feels like chasm. Thus, I turn to drawing. While I don't enjoy it as much as writing, it's a hell of a lot better than any of the other shit I was planning on doing. And maybe it will help me as a writer. Chuck Palahniuk (writer of Fight Club) says that every good writer should be a (bad) artist.
>>7895865>No one chooses to have intrusive thoughts. That's why they're intrusive in the first place.Sounds like you aren't guarding your mind well enough if throughts are intruding.I can genocide all thoughts that aren't in the best interest of my mind, have you tried that?
>>7895882I do not understand what you mean.Is this some form of meditation?I have tried meditation previously but I did not notice any difference.Granted, there are many different forms and I only tried the first one I could find.
>>7895881I really wish I could draw 16 hours a day too, but I'm just too depressed for this.If you like writing tpo, then maybe you should just draw a comic? There you can combine writing with drawing.
>>7895888I personally never thought of it as meditation, I just kept asking myself why I was thinking what I was thinking over and over until I've found the answers, and then eventually found the root cause of everything.I think it's more like debugging and reading how your OS works than meditation.Once you are done reading your OS you can rewrite functions in a way you deem fit or optimize what already works well enough.If you think intrusive thoughts are bad, you can just delete them from ever popping up. >find the cause>find the reason>find why you don't like them>find root source of everything>delete and rebootBut if it's not a life threatening scenario or something your logically percieve as such, you likely can't access admin rights.
>>7895890Not that I'm in any position to give advice on drawing but I believe that drawing 16 hours per day (to improve) doesn't produce compounding results. Violinists, for instance, recommend practicing for only 3 hours per day (Itzhak Perlman) as anything beyond that produces diminishing returns. Thus, anyone claiming that drawing for 16 hours a day (to improve) actually works would have to have this claim scrutinized rather than taken at face value. (Are they actually learning during all those 16 hours as I attempted to or are they just drawing what they already know for nearly all of it?) I tend to find that many professional artists give very bad advice that only hurt your progress as a beginner. At least that has been my experience. All of the helpful and actionable instruction I received were typically from artists who were good but not professional or considered "the best" at drawing.Perhaps comics is what I need to steer my attention towards. You may be right. I personally don't read any comics, however. So this is hard to justify. Just like how I don't ever publish any of the fiction I wrote because I read very little fiction myself. I will consider it however.>>7895901That seems like a brute force approach. I do not know how effective it would be but I will try.
