>accidentally mentioned big black cock as a joke to my gfThis fucking board has ruined meHas it ruined you as well?We were listening music in the carIt's a classic rock song where he says "I ain't got no big black car"I was singing and said cock instead of car as a jokehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJSRfztl_tc
I don't wanna hear about mutts law ever again
>>214442113I'm white and from Florida
Did she laugh
How did she react?
>>214442172>>214442177She spit a little from laughing...Then said: ok I won't ask where that came from
how many blacked threads you made this morning
>>214442156I don't believe you
>>214441704My mom and dad used to force me to stay in school for extra 2 hours waiting for my cousin class to end so we could go back home togheter. He's 2 years younger than me. That was horrible because after school all my friends went to do something fun like visit each other's homes to play games or something and I couldn't because I had to wait for my younger cousin. One day I wanted to take a shit so hard but I was a very timid child and didint wanted to bother people asking to go to the bathroom, so I just let the shit go down my pants and called my parents to say I shat myself and if they could pick me up from school. In my mind that would be enough for them to never ask me to stay and wait for my cousin ever again but it didint work and I became know as the poop boy for 2 years.
>>214441704>shat myself walking home from the pub >accidentally grabbed my bosses tit, she's like 60+.. >lost a bet in uni and had to run naked through the campus courtyard in the middle of winter >accidentally unplugged my headphones while watching sus anime on the bus >got caught by mom when my gf was sitting on my face when I was 16 >accidentally flipped over an old man in a wheelchair so his groceries went all over and he landed in a snow mush puddle >got caught applying hemorrhoid ointment in the work bathroom, probably looked like I was standing in there fingering myself >accidentally ordered the hottest soup in a Japanese restaurant and choked on it so bad I had snot and tears everywhere >forgot to take down my hentai posters and statues before the repairman came to fix an electrical socket in my pc room That's about it.
>>214442978Most of these are not even worth mentioning
>>214442978A full life lived
I accidentally said "goyslop" in front of my normie friends once
>>214441704>in my teen years for like a full school year i was convinced i looked buff if i held in my breath and put my chest forward while talking to girls, i still cringe when i think of that phase>in high school during class i walked into the girl bathroom by mistake, it was empty so didn't noticed, while shitting the bell rang for lunch break and the bathroom filled with girls>a few years ago my boss caught me masturbating at work but didn't fire me, he also never mentioned it>the one and only time i got naked with a lady my dick stayed flacid, probably death grip syndrome and nerves, i always carry cobra 120mg with me now, just in case
>>214443882I said goy slop in Swedish to my MENA gf and she instantly understood the implications.
I came home shitfaced drunk out of my goddamn mind with my gf of the time (she was completely sober) and I really needed to pee. I then sat down on an open box with stuff in the middle of the hallway and started peeing in it. My gf looked at me like wtf and I went like "why are you looking at me like that? I'm sitting down because I know I'm drunk so my aim is off and I don't want to splash around piss, so be thankful."But I was way too retarded to realize that I was not even sitting on the toilet but on some random box. The next day I had to throw out the box including its contents, which was a bunch of old electronics that was supposed to be stored in the basement.You may laugh at me now.
>>214442156I think you are lying.
>>214442978>accidentally grabbed my bosses tit, she's like 60+..Reminded me of the time I gently caressed my neighbor's dad's bald head like I was "patting him in the back" kind of energy.
>>214445128You must be new here if you don't know of me yet
Rubbed the leg of a guy sitting next to me when I was a kid because I thought it was the cushion he was sitting on. Eventually he quietly goes "stop!!". Probably thinks I molested him to this day.
>>214441704Got really into anal when I was like 16, ordered a dildo and lube. Delivery was supposed to be between 13:00 and 15:00 when only I was home. I got home at noon and my sister came into my room, gave me the package and called me gay and left. It arrived early...
>>214447515Did you goon harder knowing your sister knew you were fucking yourself with a dildo?
>>214447762No. I hid the box under my bed for like a month before I got over the embarrassment.
>>214447515How did she know the contents of the package?
>>214441704Jochem dont you ever get tired of obsessing over monkey cock every single hour of every day? Jesus Christ man.
>>214447826This was before the age of anonymous brown packages. It came in a white box with the company name and a sticker with content, name etc. If it was today I could just have picked a collection point like a kiosk or package locker or something.. Kids have it easy.
>>214442575Haha poop boy
>>214447938I avoided getting any sort of coomer stuff shipped in for years because of that, also my parents are nosy as fuck and immediately check any package, far easier these days at least
>>214441704
>>214448171Yeah. I don't miss it. But I do miss the period before that a bit. The catalogue/mail order era from when I was a kid. Was something SOVL about looking through magazines and catalogues, find something you wanted, write down the numbers and mail it in. Delivery could be a few days or a month kek. never knew.
I once told a bunch of friends I was a virgin. All the guys laughed and mocked me, even the guys who I knew to be virgins as well.
>>214448203Thank you.
>>214441704>netherlands>cuck postingwhy is this always the same with this flag???
>>214447515average day in sweden
