It's so much fun to be an American. You can talk real loud and walk real proud in America. You can drive your truck around like a maniac and mow your yard and drink tall boys and go to church and become saved. You get to fight and argue about things happening all across the world that have no effect on you personally. You can buy a gun and shoot off firecrackers. You can get pork belly and grill it even if it's snowing in America. Would you like to be an American? If you post here I will make you an American, by the power invested in me as a true and honest citizen of the United States of America, illuminated by the unyielding light of fifty stars, for a period of twenty-four hours (American time). You can have a hamburger.
Even though it's rude to bump your own thread here are some more fun facts about America: Every other person in the whole world has to stop what they are doing and form an opinion whenever an American does anything. Our official languages are English and Spanish but you can hear every language in the world here depending on where you go. There is always something exciting going on in America! You could even get involved in a gun battle or a high speed car chase. Living in America is just like an action movie. We have every religion here even some we made up. You can get a job, smoke some drugs, get fired, and accidentally receive a million dollars via government oversight all in the very same day. You can call up the sausage company and tell the CEO to go fuck himself and he can't do anything about it. Do you like deserts? Do you like old growth forest? Do you like coasts (we have two!) Well it's all here waiting for you. You can eat so much corn syrup you get type 2 diabetes and it doesn't matter because the doctor will just give you an epipen that lets you ignore the whole ordeal. You can even go to war and battle crazy sand people, and when you come back you get 10% off every purchase.
But you can’t feel a thing during sex
>>214587594Sex is gross.
>>214587641Ok, eunuch
