caberge edish
doing a rather difficult poo
>>218583183Left my only mate back in the office sucking all my oxygen in through his mouth
Local crackhead woman is screaming again
Going to eat two custard creams
sir lord keir starmer
NPC happy old man in Frieren>I've never left this village my entire lifeNormalfags>HOLY FUCK HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU'RE MEANT TO TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL EVERY MONTH EVERY SECOND THAT YOU CAN YOU HAVE TO BE OUT THERE DOING THINGS IN OTHER CULTURES CHUD
crack must be pretty good for how fucked people get over it
called a boy a liar in primary school once for saying his granddad got blown up by a bazooka in ww2could have been real though i forgot to consider it was an accident so rip to all the granddads blown up in bazooka accidents
>>218583248Back on this melty are we? Give it a rest
>>218583248Never leaving your village is mentalI walk to neighbouring villages at least once a week
Just popped a Bighams in the ‘ven x
>>218583238Fuck it, gonna eat two more
legs like a marathon runnerarms like a body buildertorso like lanky kongthat's the goal
went to prenatal classes before my bairn was born. we all met up again after everyones was born and some of the couples were talking about a "babymoon", as in a honeymoon to celebrate the birth. who the fuck wants to go to canada with a month old baby
>>218583248who are you even talking to
>>218583317do you just bite into them or pull them apart and scrape the layer of filling off with your teeth
>>218583335people who wish they didn't have a baby
>>218583335A couple of freaks in my wife’s prenatal class did this. A baby holiday to the South of France. Seriously don’t get middle class people.
>>218583335normies see a way to spend money on tiktok and think it's a cultural norm
>>218583334im built like shrek
>>218583346Hes obviously just making a point spergboy. Same way you talk to yourself on here and get no replies because youre a boring unfunny freak
Old people have to stand motionless in the middle of the path for minutes just to read a text message
>>218583384i think you might be spending too much time on the computer lad
>>218583335taking anything younger than 3 abroad is mental and even that sounds like a massive pain in the arsealways feel sorry seeing a single mum at the airport carrying all the shit plus a baby and knowing the screaming during the flight is her fault
>>218583411feeling exposed?
>>218583386then you walk past them and they start walking again at that exact moment as if they're walking with you
>>218583386>opens her bag to check her phone in the door to a shop>stops at the top of an escalator to look for things or figure out where to goold people need something done with them to stop this
and every time the aussie spastic gets called out he goes all politicsJOE mode and acts all aloof and says you need to touch grass
>>218583384Calm down mate
local grocer has this midget on staff, her job seems to be to stand around in the self checkout area. didn't know they were allowed jobs
>>218583423i just think lashing out at others with bizarre hate filled projection for no reason >>218583384 >>218583446 is a sign that this place is probably doing you harm
>>218583351Just bite into them, gone in two bites. Except the last one in the pack was all smashed up so that got eaten in bits.
meltdown
>>218583266I'll stop when I stop hearing them talk about travel every minute of the day
catberg on a fucking mad one
teardrops feel like showers there's nothing i can seelying awake for hours time stands still around me
might join the army and go into special forces and commit war crimes
rotating a 3d model of a four n twenty pie in my mind
Any /missed out on youth = missed out on life/ lads in the fucking thread tonight?
>>218583475trve advlthood
>>218583467Minding the self checkouts looks like the most boring fucking job in the world
Thinking about doing some travelling this year. Definitely travelling to Norway for a fjord cruise in may and thinking about travelling to Tanzania for a safari at the end of the year.
bought a new bedside alarm clock so i can see the time easily in bed, but even with the dimmer the light is obnoxioususually just use my smart watch but i feel as if i've downgraded. dunno what to do. just want to be able to see the time ffs
>>218583384>>218583446Gigameltie lmfao
>>218583522Faaaark, I'm still at the point where I reseal my packets with an elastic band. Maybe one day I'll ascend to your level.
>>218583529dont look at the time in bedset your alarm, then don't check the time until it goes off
>>218583529You can get stickum sheets that are made to dim LED lights, might be worth looking into them. Last thing you need is a bright light in your room
>>218583503Words with venom, words that bind. Words used like weapons to cloud my mind. I'm a person. I'm a man. But no matter how hard I try
can someone teach me gcse maths?
Is EW about? Just wondering if she had any update on the MouseLord t shirts
>>218583529Gotta get one of those old red LED faced clock radios. They were already dim to begin with and have usually dimmed further with age.
>>2185835841+1 = 3
Does anyone have a gadget that has improved their life? I feel like buying something. Currently tinkering with the idea of buying a scale that measures your body composition, some kind of watch to measure my sleep, steps and heartrate or something else. Let me know!
>>218583595counter top dishwasherdon't have room for a full one
>>218583595For me, it’s these smart kitchen scales I bought. You select what food you’re weighing, put it on the scale and it immediately inserts all your macros into your food diary. Great for me when I’m bulking/cutting
wish i was a handsome fella
>>218583594Reminder if you can't do this on the spot you're a fraud who shouldn't be allowed any job above toilet scrubber and a functional retard (according to the government)
>>218583648*writes "fuck off" as the answer*
>>218583636Interesting. Is the food diary an app on your phone or is it all on the scales?
>>218583648More like if you can’t do it with five years of training fresh in your mind and taking multiple practice questions that are almost identical in the months and weeks leading up to. And yes Rorke you’re a retard if you failed your GCSEs sweetheart lol
>>218583595someone got me a preowned smartwatch for Christmas. I always thought they were stupid, not really able to do anything my phone can't do, but I've found it pretty handy for reading texts and emails while working, and using the voice assistant to set reminders on the spot without having to pull my phone out.I don't really get why people feel a need to monitor they sleep. The watch does that but like, I know how much I sleep. I know what time it is when I go to bed, and I know what time I set me alarm to wake me up. So like, that's roughly the amount of sleep I got. I feel like wearing a watch to sleep is going to make my sleep worse not better. Even if I did and I learned that was in a light sleep for 3 hours and 16 minutes, REM sleep for 2 hours 12 minutes, and deep sleep for 2 hours 24 minutes, what exactly am I supposed to do with that information? Why does knowing that matter to me at all
*tans 360 degrees and walks away*
>>218583648Grow up retard
>>218583718mum was killed in a car crash a month before my GCSE's matebet you feel terrible now dont you?
>>218583706It connects to an app on your phone via Bluetooth but then I export that into my Apple Health.
the toil freaks do be coming home from toil soon
>>218583715um
>>218583748>mum was killed in a car crash a month before my GCSE's mate
>>218583648is it 258.69?
*tans 90 degrees and spazzes out*
anyone else involuntarily daydream about beating the shit out of people and have dreams where you brutally kill people with your bare hands
>>218583718>five years of training LMAO, as ifSpent all my time with my mates and shagging the gf, unlike you LOL
>>218583748LOOOOOOL an orphan and a spacker!! Omds
>>218583755no we're not, it's not even 2 o clock
>>218583764
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2026/01/16/the-american-asylum-seeker-living-in-britain-on-benefits/Is there a more farcical example of our asylum system.>American claims asylum in the UK>Gets put in a migrant hotel>Claim is eventually heard and rejected>Home Office never deports the guy>He's now been offered social housing & benefits
>>218583788ktim
>>218583788rorke reincarnated as a robot
GCSEs are wiped out of records after 10 years anyway. If you still put your GCSEs down over the age of 20 then your cv is going in the bin because we can all see through you
>>218583779Same here but I passed my GCSEs with all 9s without even revising lmao
>>218583770Reported this post to the Australian government
failed all my GCSE's but got a BTEC in PE
whats sqa intermediate 2 in gcses thenlove having all my qualifications be both outdated and useless anyway
>>218583816Kek this idiot didn't even manage to get a letter grade, they gave him a number and he's proud of it. What an idiot.
>>218583763Yeah
>>2185838168 inch cock, 6'5, and earn 500k a year too no doubt
got a call from the government once after emailing the prime minister saying I was thinking of killing myself
smartest guy i ever knew was a barely literate scouse fella proper fred dibnah type could fix anything even machine new parts from scratch if needed couldn't spell his own name though
>>218583829PE was my best subject haha. I've got a 203cm wingspan
teach gave me an β for all my GCSEs after I sucked his cock
>>218583847Unc moment
I genuinely don't think I've had any vitamin d since November
right then that's one fucked up willy
any severely mentally ill man in
aced my 11-plus
If you finished secondary school after 2019 your grades don't mean a thing due to COVID grade inflation.All qualifications awarded after 2022 (release of ChatGPT) are meaningless too.
well that'sum
mouseLord Trading Card Game on the way
>>218583881not severely but I am a reclusive type
>9 in gcse's but is on /brit/ at 2pm on a weekdayhmmm
why do we have so many children with a number score for GSCEs
>>218583645I'm objectively handsome and its given me zero benefits in life except there's this woman in the local cafe that likes to put extra meat in my sandwiches
Ehhhhh!??
>>218583887Good post
>>218583887Forever grateful that covid happened while I was doing my A Levels. I had already stopped revising but my predicted grades were all A* so I easily got into my first choice because we just got awarded our predicted grades without doing exams. No way I would have got higher ghan a C otherwise
Fucks sake now I want some custard creams lol
>>218583865if these bizarre mangled tiny willies i've been seeing actually belong to lads here it would explain a lot about the sort of posts we've been seeing
>>218583924finally a good post
Rorke is such a bloody unc
>>218583929Waddle outside and buy them then you boring little blogcunt.
>>218583887Hit the nail on the head. Cheers.
that's guys still got a chip up his arse eh
zoomers genuinely are thick
>>218583865Indian snake charmer ahh dih LOL
How will Starmer address Britain's low-quality graduate problem?
>>218583974would you rather shove a maccas chip or kfc chip up your bum
>>218583996He is a low quality graduate himself.
>>218583980Can confirm
>>218583980>>218583982Case in point
>>218583958On my way!
I work with one of those Reddit type millennials who’s always going on about how zoomers can’t use computers and how we are boomer-tier when it comes to technology. Me and the other genz in work always wind him up asking him tedious obvious questions and he still hasn’t cottoned on that we’re taking the piss. I asked him what the point of the shift key is when you can just tap caps lock on/off the other day and he did the whole incredulous, take off his glasses to squeeze the bridge of his nose, chuckle exasperatedly to himself routine LMAO
Well, Rorke?
>>218584067>and he did the whole incredulous, take off his glasses to squeeze the bridge of his nose, chuckle exasperatedly to himself routine LMAOScreeeeeaaaaaaming they're insufferable aren't they
My beard is my personalityChilli sauce is my fuel
>>218584067HOWLINGmillenials are so retarded and easy to bait
>>218584067Is he over/underweight by any chance?
>>218584067Howling
Some peopleJust want to watch theWorldBurn
>>218583487Who? The normies in your head?
>>218584095Yeah he’s fat lmao
right well I suppose I'd better have a wank then
lil zoomies making up scenarios
hot sauce is nice but i don't understand how people can 'collect' them i have 2 or 3 at any one time and that's plenty
>>218584149sybau unc
>>218584168Surely you just need 1, don't see the point in having 2 or 3
>>218584198elton
>>218584168I got a set for christmas. quite nice so far desu
I just realized I am literally God (from the Bible)
>>218584198Doing this to the wife’s buns later
I'm into latex
i'm bald, have a beard and dark rimmed glasses. hot sauce and my beard are my personality.
>>218584229Pipe down Bubba
don't hear much about chinamen these days
A war between brit/euro alliance and usa for a piece of frozen arctic wasteland would be such kino I don't think people here really appreciate it.
>>218584255that's not the preferred nomenclature
doing a big shit
>>218583648I used to be good at maths, now this is gobbledygook to me
>>218584214well, one normal (red), one green, maybe another that's different like smokey or extra hot, depending on what i want to use
>>218584250I shall send you to Hell now
>>218584274preferred by whom
doctor frasier cranedoctor niles crane
>>218584198Aw hell nah what the fuck
can I offer you something to drink?
sorry im late lads. I was tugging my average length but above average girth penis to images and videos of naked women in their early 20s
For me it's turning up to a kegger at Boston University with nothing but a red solo cup and my heart on my sleeve.
>>218584302the chinamen
me contemplating a banter post on /brit/
>>218584341*Louie Louie starts playing at high volume*
>>218584353matey thought he was Zidane
>>218584346have you asked a chinese i think he wouldn't mind
>>218584273Trump just admitted he’s doing it to get back at Yuros/Scandis for not getting the Nobel peace prize
why are my retard housemates constantly cleanin and drying clothesit just never fucking stops
>>218584414What’s this about
I've been doing press ups wrong this entire time. defuq
>>218584067this never happened
>>218584379used to work with a cute Chinese lass and she thought space raiders were racist because each crisp looked like a little yellow slanty eyed fella
>>218584414they tried to detain rorke
>>218584414Chrissy, he's fucked up
>>218584353bro thought he was me
>>218584414Was that the one where the bloke was arrested for filming them and not helping?
>>218584469only one that applies to me is the old hoody gifted by relatives, love that hoody
>>218584439>press upsFOY
>didnt shave in days>didnt work out in days>thinking about the porn I'll watch tonightyes i'm fine... im definitely fine
im creaming at the tip
>>218584477they all look pretty dead to me, not like you can really offer much assistance
lots to do when there's nobody to split the chores with. Starmer should implement an incel tax relief
Need to disappear completely
>>218584507https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020_Eastern_Freeway_truck_crashFound it>under the influence of drugs, Mohinder Singh, crashed his truck into a Porsche 911 and two police cars on the Eastern Freeway>Prior to the incident, the officers had pulled over the Porsche's driver, Richard Pusey, for speeding. After the truck hit the officers, Pusey filmed them for several minutes with vulgar commentary as they lay dying, before fleeingThey did all sadly die.
need to do laundry and roast a chook for the weeks packed lunches but instead i think I'll just get stoned and watch seinfeld
if you're a man and you jog/run you're gayhonestly doing any cardio if you're a man is very gay
>>218584477Think got convicted for being a complete piece of shit by filming it, gloating about their deaths, and distributing the video
>>218584528>Dick Puseyjokes aside though what a heartless selfish bastard, hope he got a severe sentence
>>218584528>Mohinder Singh>Richard Pusey
>>218584495Yanks call them push ups...
>>21858456410 months, then was a cunt again so got another 10
whens the trans psyop ending im sick of themi see so many of them threaten ‘terfs’ (women who say that men cant be women) with rape or violence, as if any actual woman would use that as a threat. how do they think they are honestly female on the inside when they so obviously still think like menget rid of them
Man like Richard Pusey
>>218584528more blood on the hands of leftypol for demanding we import cheap foreign incompetent labour
>Simpson Pusey
>>218584583I've met a few older trannies and it's fucking uncomfortable being around someone public displaying their fetish.
It's one of them spaki and his 5 VPNs days (every day)
>>218584583
Welcome to hell Mark
>>218584603What are they like? I’ve never met a male one. Only tranny I knew was a girl in my college class who thought she was a boy and liked gay anime stuff but was harmless.
>>218584628your fate is to work 20 hours a week at the local Co-op
>>218584636why are ftm troons likeable and humble but mtf troons utterly abhorrent with entitlement through the roof
until her willy spurts cum
>>218584628scromiting at this
>>218584636Weird, they always look a right fucking state and just act really strange, and everyone acts a bit weird around them. ftm are different and though overcompensate like mtf, seem a lot more normal.
Burton and Uttoxeter on by-election watch. Keep your eyes peeled.Easy reform win.
>>218584372heh, he kind of looks like him a bit
What's the town in Silent Hill called?
>>218584489Do you have the same hoody? I was out and about one day and a bloke was wearing the same one.
Comfort kills dreams
>>218584489My mum bought me a green superdry hoodie about 6 years ago and I still wear it and have had people compliment me on it.
>>218584717resident evil
my name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents
>>218584717Hill
>>218584735cool hoody rorkex
I don't know what to doooo with myseeelf
er yeah sure you did zoomer, you totally didnt shit yourself with anxiety and get bullied when the chad millennials in the office were bantering about anchorman and sharing giphy memes of Stanley from the office. Keeping in mind this is the freak generation that want to kill themselves the moment someone tries to ring them
>>218584755Done him
>>218584495are you retarded
>>218584755thanks leftypol x
>>218584764Lmfao my exact thoughts when I read that fantasy
>>218584717Cheadle
Rorke the unc pulling up to the local primary school (he's picking up his nephew from there) blasting this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAfWWUAKZY0
>>218584764>anchorman>american officeFOY
>neighbour's dog barking all day againFucks sake
wish i was at home playing dragon quest
control + F: poo35 resultsthats what I like to seepoo
>>218584718nah its not part of a tracksuit, it's a navy blue one with a faux fur lining that mumberg got me for my birthday yonks ago. Looking quite tatty now but it's my favourite thing to wear while just dossing about in the flat
>>218584469It's bizarre seeing myself as a wojak
desperately trying to convince the toilfu not to quit but it's all falling on deaf ears
any shaggers in?what does fanny REALLY feel and taste like? asking orally not touch
>>218584823howling, screaming, guffawing
plot twist: the toilfu is deaf
>In one shocking case, a woman said she was raped by a Syrian refugee who invited her into his room to watch a film in 2019.>The woman, identified only as Amanda, said: “He wanted to learn Dutch, to get an education. I wanted to help him.”Amanda said the man asked her to come into the room repeatedly until she agreed.>Once inside the room she said he made her uncomfortable and she asked to leave, but he refused.Genuinely women have no survival instincts. Had a female friend who stayed at an air bnb in paris. The host was a man who was just subletting a bedroom. They watched tv together and he tried feeling her up. Rather than immediately leave she just went to her room and put a chair against the door.
>>218584660Because FTMs are women and the MTFs are men. Every bit of their behaviour can be explained by ignoring what they say about being a man/woman on the inside and looking at what sex they really are. A FTM will have female ways of thinking and socialisation and vice-versa.Female troons are often autistic/neurodivergent, tomboys, shy or generally women who couldn’t cope with the expectations of women and feel dysphoric about their bodies so their response is to convince themselves they’re men. Oftentimes they like yaoi and gay anime shit but because they’re women they aren’t as pervy about it as men.Male troons are usually awkward autistic men who never fit in or just plain fetishists and autogynephiles, often a mix of both. Because they are men, they are more aggressive and sexually upfront. It’s mental how they pretend that there’s no differences between how the sexes think and act while also saying that because a girl is tomboyish and doesn’t like makeup that she’s a boy. Maybe socialisation plays a key part, but to find that out you’d have to transition and study children which is utterly immortal. I think both sexes ways of thinking are just built in. You can see this in their interests, MTFs still like male stuff like coding and speedrunning while FTMs still like female stuff like certain fashion subcultures and writing fanfiction.
>>218584764Fucking hell the millennial is RATTLED
>>218584858clearly blind too
my toilfu is deaf AND BLIND
having a poo soon
salty milk and coins bag of sand
>>218584764owned that child freak
haircuttoil with the fit zoomer lass went well, her outfit wasnt quite as revealing as usual because it was cold but there was still plenty of boobs against the head and crotch rubbing against the arm while we chatted about her recent trip to the lake district
>>218584863this nigga got a phd in trannies
>>218584867cope on jaydon you will never see human vagina in real life
>>218584852I shagged a few times 3 years ago so not really a shagger>feelWith a condom, nothing>tasteAn initial tanginess and then nothing
the proto toilfu gf complimented my hands lads
>>218584863thank you for this informative essay about troons
>>218584898Big bro is actually crashing out lmao, don't you have to update your blog on your favourite hot sauces unc?
the toilfu is tetraplegic, deaf, dumb, and blind
we're pooingI hope you like pooing toowe're pooingI wanna poo with you
Always so horny after leg day
>>218584819Ktimd
yeah those millennials are so cringe *sits in smelly bedroom my entire 20s wanking with streamer used bathwater and vr ASMR anime troons*
my toilfu you ask? Lovely and perfect in every way x
>>218584896>>218584907Was almost groomed into it when I was a wee teen so I am intimately familiar with their behaviour and evil ways. Just surprised that so many people take them saying they’re x gender inside at face value and don’t just view them as what they are, because then everything about them makes complete sense rather than trying to rationalise why a ‘woman’ still acts like a man despite hormones and transitioning.
>>218584940ktim
>>218584917funny how you people devolve in to talking like a teenager the moment you speak to someone 7 years older than you. Daddy issues? Threatened?
>>218584940ktim in my 50s
>>218584950What makes me laugh is the completely false view they have of what the other gender is like and what they do. Mtf trannies will wear pink cutesy clothes that women would never wear because they think that's what women do.
I don't think of her as a sexual being, but could you imagine if nudes of Ruby leaked à la Anita Sarkeesian where she's smiling like a slut with cum on her bare breasts? Do you think she could continue her online presence and business?
Rorke writing essays in here like anyone cares
so one thing lead to another and I got my bum out
>>218585035I care
>>218584985they get their view of women from anime and games but not even the anime written by women or anime that women like
>>218585035grow up
>>218584981Yeah sorry bro we can't all communicate with "Stanley from the office" gifs lmaooo
>>218585022that's never going to happen because Roobs is a genuine female incel. I can't imagine her seductively touching a man's leg let alone letting one spaff on her tits and photograph it
>>218585059t. 27 years old
anyone else having issues accessing the mousecord?
what's the point i wonder
I am too OLD and my reflexes are too SLOW. But I am enjoying Sekiro all the same!
poo roar
no mate there's no such thing. grow up
*grows up*wat nou?
Still like my duolingo girl more
>>218585035just let him keep replying to himself and get it out his system
>>218585022when nudes leak i always wonder why did they take the pictures in the first place
4 zoomers absolutely rattled in here
>>21858507328 actually
love a penguin me
>>218585105loving the sheer volume of sexy OC this game has spawned
>>218585130Dont like "chocolate" biscuits me
Back when the CrazySlick and Mizkif drama was going on I was losing sleep because I kept getting up to check reddit and discord to see if my favourite streamers were implicated
*stands up*Penguin?
>>218585115smells like SN samefag to me
>>218585168Ever considered killing yourself?
>>218585168grow up
>>218585105could have at least drawn Sari in the style too
>>218585168get a life mate
>>218585130Shan't buy penguins since they reduced the chocolate content and thus can no longer be legally labeled as 'chocolate bars'I'll consider buying them again once they fix their mistakes and offer apologies
>>218585189Shes thic too
um grow up mate
Do we keep Penguins in my house? No. Nairn's Biscuit Breaks on the other hand...*starts rubbing hands together*
>>218585168used to be like this with vtubers. even called in sick to work a few times because of it
watching Twitch streamers is more intellectual than watching love island normieslop
Can't have kitkats because nestle, can't have penguins because it infuriates the wife, why don't I just fucking lay down and die?
you need to grow up
negative speaking will create negative thinkingnegative thinking will get you anxiety, depression and make you withdraw from lifewatch what you say and keep it positive!
>>218585202>fix their mistakescan't see that ever happening. The giant corporations like Nestle aren't gonna start adding back cocoa/sugar/butter and making the sizes larger again when they know they will sell just fine without. Only way to make a difference is if everyone collectively stopped buying the products and the companies panic
>>218585252
might grow up next thread
>>218585268>>218585268>>218585268
both early, both dogshit
yanks on a mad one
Why do you need to make the new thread early? Why do you HAVE to be the OP? Why can't you just wait until the bump limit?
>>218585301grow up mate
>>218585301better that than some fucking SHITE yank edition
Gleefully sitting on /brit/ all day telling everyone to grow up
