American culture is centered around Italians. They have holidays for Italians like Columbus Day. They killed hundreds of thousands of German men to free Italians. They listen to Italian music like Frank Sinatra. They elect an Italian as a mayor of their biggest city, twice. They dress and act like Italians. They draw the entirety of their modern culture from Italians. They post sassy gifs about the Soprano family. They watch The Sopranos and The Godfather in worship of Italians. Their biggest event of the year involves throwing parties in honor of the Italian who discovered their continent. They use Italian slang like "goombah" and "fuggedaboutit". When you say "Madonna" they're not thinking of the Virgin Mary. They're thinking of the Italian. Their cities are completely overrun with Italians. They worship their zogbot police force disproportionately filled with Italians and their global police force of soldiers filled with Italians. Their men sit around watching Sopranos while their women sit around watching Jay Leno. They worship Italians like Rocky Marciano and Jake LaMotta and Frank Sinatra and Madonna while attacking the WASPs who actually built their country before Italians took over. Their movies are filled with Italians like Robert DeNiro and their music charts are topped by Italians like Lady Gaga. They send Italians to the olympics and celebrate when the Italians win because those Italians are true red blooded american Italians. They watch Italian porn to a point where 'Rocco' does not make them think of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson but about an Italian porn actor instead. They will tell you how much they hate wops and how the 50% Italian meme is a stale joke and they are just pretending to love Italians but the evidence speaks for itself in that America has always been and will be a nation of Italian loving Italians.
>You see, I read a lot. And let me tell you about Italians.
