SORRY HONEY LOL edition
It's all fate
>a royal lineage heiress from australia wanted to marry me last year but I said nome when I lie
>>219302239>>219302239>>219302239We're all in here
get the r/legaladviceuk ai generated stories posted
gf just sent me this
Samefagging about YouTubers security blanket time
>I'm making a new, no one make it
Women are so cute and I want to have sex with all of them
>>219302260dicked
>have an issue with my energy provider>phone customber serive>pajeet woman answers the phone>language barrier.jpegIt's all so tiresome
>>219302262enjoyed the cuck one earlier ngl
If Mousey was here I'd knock him out. For his own good
https://youtu.be/WWMjRMJ0dTI
>>219302323nothing to do with migrants in the UK, they are all using Indian call centres in India itselfagain you should be blaming capitalismberg
tyreek hill just got releasedthats him done then
>>219302336I am mousey
>>219302323Complain to the company. Not us. Stop being a worthless slug coward.
recon i'm the gayest straight man in historyfind vaginas absolutely disgustingthe girl i heavily fancied asked me to fuck her on valentines night and i just couldn't get in the mood touching her vagina is so disgusting couldn't get hard (was basically sober) both of uys naked etcjust grim
>>219302345Ok then ban outsourcing. Everything must be done in Britain
>>219302360bro
*walks up to that poster that claims he's mousey and tries to punch him but my fist gets stuck in one of his fat folds and he starts battering me until I pass out*
might go and see what they're doing in britfeel
this is why I can’t get a job
>>219302323had to ask my bank for a replacement card and for some reason had go to customer serviceai chatbot first - fucking uselessthen I get connected to an actual agent - very obviously an Indian actually living in Indiahonestly insane that they're just allowed to outsource to India for something as important as fucking banking
rorke at 33 thinking he's one of the youth
>>219302057>entire comments section was clowning on him for supporting a third-world fundamentalist dictatorship and taking their oil and slave moneythe same people who are happy with the country and europe being flooded with muslims? who all have the same radical mainstream convictions?
>>219302387that's a man
im trying to clear up my fucking image, so i promised the fucking critics i wouldnt say "fucking" for six minutes
>>219302393Lost my bank card while out clubbing and literally logged into my banking app and clicked twice to cancel the lost one and order a new one.I think you're lying.
if you’re out of work but don’t claim any benefits of any sort are you cool? Or do people still hate you like they hate benefit scroungers?
BELCHING and BELLOWING at some of these posts
>>219302426i did lie, yes
>Carer sacked for grabbing 77-year-old dementia patient's penis in nursing homehttps://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/carer-sacked-wholly-inappropriate-despicable-36658897
>>219302433Probably all of my posts (I've made 7 so far)
nth for the baddiedem
>>219302428dunno, i don't claim bennies as the hoops you have to go through are ridiculous
>just been to a meeting and there was a deaf person there>they had a sign language interpreter who was a very attractive young woman who was sat next to me>you know how when you talk in sign language you mouth the words as well so they can lipread? never been so erect before in my life
>>219302457she's literally ai generated
Actiongirls wank
>>219302428my parents and grandparents paid in to the system their entire working lives, i am entitled to bennies, that simple
wait till escortlad sees this>>>/gif/30266112>>>/gif/30266112
corr lads get the cam golden_girlsss on
Favourite TikTok account got suspended lads :(
>>219302480Not what I asked though?
>>219302168The guy in that picture ran for federal office in my local district and I voted for him.
>>219302473They've got to go home now.
Meltdown
>>219302487unfathomable how grim some men are
wonder if mousey knows you can extract gold from ram
>>219302473leftypol turning a blind eye to this
Who's having a meltdown this time? Or is he just projecting again?
You need to be born with at least one of these two things:>Wealth>Physical AttractivenessIf you have neither you must be born with intelligence to acquire wealth but you will never be an attractive man which is a frankly priceless thing to be. If you have that PLUS wealth you are going to have an incredible time on earth, it's that simple. If you don't have intelligence or skills to acquire wealth it is truly over, in fact it never even began for you.
>mousey>rorke>leftypol SCREAMING
>>219302530doesnt seem that grim. its a mutually beneficial and consensual agreement
where's my hug?
>>219302474The chebs yh but she's a real woman
>>219302588weird little creature
>>219302168>Someone said Dragonball z was hentai >Had a HR meeting saying that I had a hentai sticker on my car>It's a sticker of JoJo and DBZ >They had to look up the names I am so angry about this shit it took eveyrhring not to tell him go fuck himself
>>219302575what if you have all those things but you're mentally ill suchg as >>219302360>>219302595"sure" that's why she robbed him cos she definitely wanted to be with him
>>219302588the madone
>>219302621
>>219302621scream
>>219302487grimpapua new guinea still in tribes in the forest not risking being eaten for some malnourished fanny
>>219302641she robbed him to make more money from the agreement.
>>219302659is he the greatest director of our generation?
Someone get the smelling salt, Rorke's down and out.
>>219302685oh he agreed to be robbed righ toh..
>>219302621is there anything more contemptible than HRberg?
>>219302670I did scream when I came home because the car I drive is the car I owned since I was like 16 and I never bothered to remove the stickers on it The worst sticker I have just says Masshole This bitch powered by dunken
>>219302700dont be disingenuous
>>219302723oh the irony lmao
>>219302710Yeah btw I have to see counciling because I was pissed off and I said I hope the guy who said all that shit fucks himself with a razor blade and that his wife leaves him to my sister
Searching dragon ball z on rule34.com
>>219302697>yeah i'm gonna punch you in the face>punches him in the ballsnever trust a fatty
>>219302739?
>>219302697i dont like your opinions so i'm going to use violence until you change your mind
what's the point in sex without love?
>>219302697Such a bizarre lunch lmao what was he aiming for
>>219302694Lynchian
>>219302787things incels say
>>219302787good psot x
>>219302740A bit excessive don't you think? You should better control your emotions
>>219302757That is unironically based no matter your politics.Theory is for losers.
Oi lads can I get some feedback on these post ideas I had?
>>219302787dunno lad ask epstein or these pack of wannabes >>>/gif/30266112 >>219302487 >>219302595
Honestly a nomadic and bohemian life of substance abuse and new age travelling is more fun than toeing the line and slaving for toilberg for 45 years so you can play some golf before dying
there are fat people who can do handstands and cartwheels and that
>>219302816*shoots your bollocks with an anti-tank gun*shut up nerd
>>219302806that's self-hating yankhe has the mental age of about 12 unironically
>>219302824incel
>>219302787spaffing in a fanny is a primal urgein fact men are mostly driven to fuck and chuckeven with women they are in 'love' with
>>219302798I have a gf who I love very much and have sex with frequently, I'm not an incel
We took this Labour government to court and won.In collusion with the Tories, Keir Starmer tried to stop 4.6 million people voting on May 7th. Only Reform UK fights for democracy
>>219302819all of these posts would go perfectly well with this image
>>219302819you're mentally unwell, leftypol
>>219302806>Btw people at work said you talked about hentai because you talked about going to a jojo expo in Japan >One of the younger staff said it was a hentai event >We see that your stickers had hentai >My boss is called >My boss looks it up >Gets angry at hr>But I can't go into work for a week
>>219302847I can recreate the same feeling with my hand, there's no reason to pick a fanny over my hand (in fact there are several drawbacks owing to the person it's attached to) UNLESS you are in love
>>219302848still an incel thing to say
>>219302835
Toil doneOff home and it's still lightWinter fucked off
thank fuck that's overnearly pulled a sickie today, glad i didn'talways better to brave it
>>219302900Not always is itDon't want to shit yourself at your desk
>>219302884>>219302900post-match toil reports coming in
imagine getting home from work and literally the first thing you do is retreat to your smelly incel bedroom to post on /brit/ until you eventually fall asleep
>>219302937so why are you here at 17:15 then
>>219302849Gonna be jokes when restore takes all the seats
>>219302937lifemogs me
mad how the entire uk is like epsteins island but for muzzies
I can't life so here
well that's rorke blasted to the bottom of the ocean where he is crushed by the overwhelming pressure
Seen 3 therapists and they've barely helped, ended up coming into conflict with 2 of them. My head is still searching for answers to my troubles. How do I conquer my own nature?
>>219302920wasn't "sick", just despondant and slightly fried from the weekendtypical monday morning stuff
>>219302976Feeling a bit Down?
hypehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6uyuIQYlfY
Never pulled a single sickie at workJust can't bring myself to do itOnly ever been off because I've been genuinely unwell enough to commute in for stuff that needs to be done in personEven when I had food poisoning last year I did some stuff from homeNot saying this as some badge of honour if anything I'm ashamed of it and should have more bollocks to get a few free days a year
These days you get banned for racism if you talk about Spurs fans
>>219302937*imagens it*ok now what
so far my biggest gripe with nubattlefront is that the effective range is abysmal. unless you're literally shoving your blaster to an enemy's face you barely do any damage.
>>219303010bet you handed in all your homework on time in school too
>>219303014Why do you type like a child? Is it because you're attracted to them, incel?
>>219302979>seen three therapists oh my days are you thick or whateveryone with half a brain knows that therapy is an unscientific scam
>>219303010literally me lad been toiling for 8 years never had a sick day. even when I think I had covid I logged on from home. some of us are just born grafters
>>219302996You laugh.
>>219303012We’re all numb at this point, I wouldn’t worry about it
>>219302979>Express any emotion other than being happy or content >OMG!!! This man needs therapy
grok is absolute class its like google but smarter
Burritos for tea after I play some cyberpunk
>>219302951In your dreams. Nigel’s tweet about this has been up for an hour and already more likes than Rupert’s announcement tweet ahaha
>>219303010ktim don't think I have taken a single day off work in 5 years even when I had the flu, diarrhoea, big sicks, difficulties walking etcMy upper body drags on the floor that's how spineless I am
>>219303015well said
I hate that every time you have a normal human reaction about something happening like being angry or sad about something you will be told to see a therapist
*walks in on Mousey having a tommy tank**points directly at his genitals*Don't do that!
>>219303091and therapy is an unproven and unscientific scam
>>219302819the ones i left are your good ones
>>219303012I was banned for racism even though I was talking about actual dogs, not black people
are you trying to therapise me
>Record 1,000 UK taxpayers under 30 earned more than £1m last year Does this not seem really fucking low? Especially when you think of how many premier league footballers are going to be apart of that 1000, if you remove them from the equation that number will be tiny
>>219303067Nigel's support is a mile wide and an inch deep
>>219303199dunno how all that business works
>>219303215like your mum's arse
just had some delicious chicken and spinach goan curry with rice now for desert of some succulent grapes
i found one btw
>>219303199it doesn't? it's very very rare for people under 30 to earn a million a year
Why in English you can say:>Medieval French peasants paid taxes to their lord.But in English you can't say:>My uncle is a peasant in Iowa.You have to say:>My uncle is a farmer in Iowa.Aren't farmer and peasant the same thing?
got publicly humiliated by nigel farage at his NEC rally for asking a racist question
/brit/ is like professional skateboarders Diego: Rodney MullenMousey: Geoff Rowley Spaino: Mickey Pearce
Right well who's put that there?
>>219302516based
>>219303262peasant fell out of use, we don't call farmers/farm workers peasants anymore peasant is seen as very derogatory in english
>>219303262farmer is a jobpeasant was a social classthe equivalent would be saying my uncle is working class in iowa
The gf randomly making me a roast dinner on a Monday night after I get home from toil.
>>219303223What business >>219303250Of course it’s rare you’re not going to earn that much working a normal job but there are 12.8 million people in this country between 18 and 30.You’d of thought there’d be a few more than a 1000 of them especially since like I said most of the 1000 are footballers
>>219303313ever played xbox with her?
>>219303328taxes and whatnot
>>219303313Stop calling your microwave the gf, and also stop pretending frozen iceland roast dinners actually count as roast dinners.
>>219303276q olloew it
i have this cunts email address, home address and landline number and i hate his guts how can i get his house spammed with gay porn letters and emails and phonecalls. mailbait doesnt work
>>219303276Who's Mike V?
>>219303333We have a Switch but we mostly play PC games together >>219303344Wouldn’t know if Iceland do a roast dinner matey but I’ll trust your expertise
katy undergoing heinous adjustmentno answer dada call
>>219303124I was forced into therapy 3 times because I said I was lonely after moving to another city, after my grandpa died I was sad and for being angry at my cousin after he broke my hardrive for my gaming PC
>>219303338Don’t have to to understand what I said
>>219303359ever shagged her up the bottom?
Home made chips, fish fingers and beans for tea
>>219303328maybe most of the ones actually earning a million moved to other countries or aren't reporting their earnings. i dunno
>>219303358Emmayank can be Mike "Vallely" V
just spent £20 on some new jeans from m&s
>>219303385yeah but theres probably some tarq methods to get around it but as i said i wouldnt know that sort of thing
Sir Jewish Family
>>219303406Exactly what I was thinking
sir danny finklestein
Flatmate keeps talking about wanting to buy a switchMate you're 31 years old you can not be playing bing bing wahoo children's gamesYou shouldn't be playing any computer gamesGrow up and start a family unc
Don't know where you lot find girlfriends that play videogames never seen or talked to a woman that does and I met a solid dozen.
>>219303357Post in /sp/ about how he calls Spurs fans "Yids" and his life will be ruined
drive by in the low ride
>>219303199This makes perfect sense Most millionaires are only millionaires because they own businesses or land The land they own is worth a million dollars Most millionaires are in their 50s or 80s Most people who are millionaires almost have very little cash on hand Most millionaires at most have a couple grand in their personal accounts
>>219303441this but for psoitng on 4hcan
>>219303276Mikey: Brandon Novak before he kicked the drugs
Northerners trolling their families by coming home at 5.30pm and asking "what's for dinner?" instead of "what's for tea?"
any smart man in here can tell me why we NEED an agreement with France to tow the dinghy’s back to Calais instead of to Dover?Like why do we NEED to have an agreement what would happen if we just did it?
>>219303446I'm female and play video games. Only good games like Final Fantasy though no Reddit garbage like Mass Effect or Fallout
>>219303469bureaucratic shite most likely
why does breast milk stop being a complete food for humans? could we not stop killing animals and just have factories full of fattened up breast milk cow women?
>219303472nigga u have two wrinkly balls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7zv9eAB3eo
>>219303494just does mate
push the tip of your nose down to your upper lip and smell through your nose sometimes it smells like pussy musk
>>219303199£1m a year is 20k a weekSo that's a fair number of Championship level players as well now
put a bet on an horse
3 hours, still nothing back from the 'scort, hasn't even read my message
>>219303509that could be true but i wouldnt know
>>219303469>>219303489Starmer is obsessed with following the law and won't do anything unless it's signed on the dotted lineSame reason we're the only mugs in Europe following the echr to the letter
>>219303494we don't kill the cows who give milk
>>219303509i have a clean mouth so no it does not
>>219303509err no it doesn't
>>219303199mad how at least half of them will be brown footballers
Clawdbot got acquired by claude's competetor
no weed for 2 weeksi can do thateasy
>>219303533your mouth should be shutit's your philtrum/nose opening that you're smelling
>I'm female
Tasmanian niggas be like >"Mainland Australia just wasn't isolated enough cunt"
>>219303600i have a clean philharmonica so no it doesnt
i have no cock and i must piss
>>219303603
push the tip of your finger into your bum and give it a sniffsometimes it smells like girl's anus
I don't know what pussy musk smells like because I'm a vf
>>219303628that's why i said only sometimesi think you get the smell if you've been in dirty places in public with car fumes and pollution and/or if you've been exercisingIt means your nostrils need a good clean out
>>219303654ever walk past a fishmongers?
put your finger up your dogs bum and give it a licktastes like dog poo
even my freshly showered bum smells of poo so not putting anything up there
ex's fannois smelled and tasted like roast beef monster munch
>>219303654Go to somewhere that's polluted like a town centre then later on press your nose down onto your philtrum and smell through your nosethat musky smell is similar to girl musk
>>219303675ewwwwewwwwe
Tickets to the Monty Don arena tour secured
>>219303692good post, genuinely made me laugh
give your bollocks a stroke and it feels like touching pussy lips
Kind of wild in today's society we aren't allowed to be angry sad stressed or to express without being told to go to therapy
blood is still boiling after they substituted my dua lipa spaff bum for a susan boyle smeg jacksie
Jesus that was fast
>>219303654Each woman has a different smell and tasteI've licked the pussies of 4 escortsSome taste foul, others taste slightly sweet
Reading James O'Brien's How they broke Britain
changed my mind i'm not in a gaming moodjust gonna watch some telly
>>219303762Calm down there Brad, you seem worked up. Have you been to therapy lately?
got asked why im still living with my parents at work today even though im 23. why do people always insist that spending fuck knows how much money on london rent prices so i can "be independent" is somehow better for me than saving over a grand a month so i can actually buy a house in the future unlike their miserable selves? im not giving a single penny to dickhead landlords unless my life is at stake
Bad adrenaline, oh, they just say anythingJust know they'd do anything to be in the spot you're inBack to bed again, skin on me, I shed again(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
>>219303792dont know how to read me
I just cleaned the inside or my nostrils with water and now the musky smell when I push my nose tip down to my philtrum and inhale is gone
>>219303802We are the sole witnesses to your 'existence' and we'd rather it just ended now.
pen testing the cat
>>219303789it's to show us that he is in the thread but won't ban ziedy or hp
>>219303811People are runts
>>219303831dont care it's my birthday in two weeks
spicy noodles and pork tonight
>>219303792favourite of midwits
>>219303756>>219303815bladee from drain gang bladee
balls are fullwill soon be wanking in my dark smelly bedroom
>>219303851the big 40
>>219303811You've got less than 24 months before it goes from 'ah he's just saving money' to it being a red flag, just saying
>>219303862indeed
Louder for the boys in the back.
>MAGA candidate in Texas is identified as owner of one of Epstein’s propertiesRorke?
>>219303852going to do indomie with the cheeky fried egg x
>spicy noodles and pork tonight
i could be so many things.... had i not squandered the last 15 years of my adulthood
>>219303808>Calm down brad......
Repeating my take from earlier that parents who take their kids out of school during term time so they can have their shite all inclusive to Turkey or similar at a fraction of the price and then complain when they get reported and find are the most runtish university of life people going
>>219303883I dgaf we'll just do it in the shower with a rubber
>>219303865Wank on your toilet. Give it a trySit on your toilet and when when time comes to cum, scoot back on the toilet seat, bend forward slightly and tuck your dick inside the toilet seat aiming at the porcelain. Zero clean-up.
>>219303870the big 35 actually
You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
>>219303920third time youve posted this today mate Idk why you’re seething just call in and say your boys feeling a ‘little under the weather’ which could mean anything and jet off to Turkyiv for your hols xx
Wanking is a mortal sin and cuts you off from sanctifying grace
>>219303944genuinely looks like me
Just imagine
til that it's normal to get the post ejaculation split stream piss even if you dont come but only IF you've been rubbing it against a girl cos u have been more aroused than just wanking
>>219303875they can die. id rather remain a virgin until death than give up the pitiful money i make partitioning my soul on a daily basis while spastics wail about yesterdays game all round the office. shouldnt have been born
dae reddit lolzers
>>219303975CWLTSHC
>>219303966um!!
the voices told him nobody leaves the sofa till next friday.youngness gonna have to have to piss and shit inside the tesco bag in between the vex rapidtaps.
Chicken walfrezi curry for din dins. It lush x
>>219303811London seems like hell with its Yank tier culture of hustle and “making it”. Don’t see the point of living there>restaurants and bars and sensory pleasures! So. You can just visit a few times a year. Thankful I live in a B tier city in the UK
>>219303976I'm nearly 30 and I haven't had that in years, grim
>>219304008looks like that guy who got shot in the stomach puked his guts all over it
>>219303981Sounds like you should become an alchie nomad desu mate. Plenty of famous gay men in London looking for young men to bum in return for hospice and substances, no 9 to 5 or rent required.
he's getting worse
>>219303972utterly wild lmaoimagine saying thisdamn she's fit tho>>219304022had it for my firstr time on saturday and i'm in my late 30s
that post is honestly even more bizarre than any of your other posts heatherpaedo.
>>219303884rorke is post-maga
>>219304007his hallucination
>>219304012I'm from a major city in the UK that isn't London but I've lived in London for ten years now and it is by far and a way much, much more fun.
>>219303972The Jamaican bobsled
>>219303927used to wank in the toilets in school standing over the bowlwould aim for it but made no attempt at a clean shot and never cleaned any of my spunk if it landed elsewhere
>>219304069I’m not even English so I’ll very likely never live in London unless I get offered a gig that’s like £150k in a few years
>>219304078always finished inside the teachers me
cannot imagine the torment of having these thoughts in your head all day everydayseems like proof of demonic possession
>>219303927I've done this at my place of work (very swish office) twice in the last three years of my employment. Once because I was hungover as fuck on a monday and needed some relief and another time because I was anxious ahead of something quite important and felt like spurting some ropes out would calm me down (it did).
>>219304078you need to sit on it like you're taking a shit then scoot back when time comes and aim for the inside of the toilet (where your piss goes if you're taking a piss sitting down)
>>219304091Go home
>>219302168I do that and look like that and say those things
>>219304007
Wigan kebab (pie in a barm) with peas and gravy - £7.50
i think the post about "the voices" telling him she can't leave the couch is actually a reference to the voices telling him he can't leave the computer unless he posts his drivel
>>219304138I already am home. I’m Scottish.
Want to go and play poolLike just go out this evening to a pub with a table or a snooker club and get a table for an hourMaybe have two pints max, nothing mentalAnd just play some poolBut I cannotTis the gfman's burden you seeThe price of female love and company
>>219304164every post you make about it gives him the tiny crumb of attention he needs to keep posting ironic me posting this but has to be said
>>219304168fair enough then xroyal mile for you then?
>>219304069Yeah? Truth is you're either from the town of Blubberhouses, or Pity Me which is actually a village.
>>219302239>>219302239>>219302239
>>219304012everybody responsible for creating the current job application processes should be publicly hanged. linkedin, assessment centres, AI screening, 3+ rounds of interviews, refusing to even look at people that didnt do placements + internships etc, its way out of hand. i understand needing all of that for jobs at goldman sachs or high paying stuff, but the fact that i had to spend 1.5 years tapdancing so i could get an entry level £30k job at a normal company despite have a 1st in econ from a top 15 (20?) uni with relevant modules, coding experience etc is just stupid. maybe >>219304032 is right, and i should just yield my flesh to the gay geriatrics of the night, because if get one more pointless meeting added to my schedule, let alone if i ever have to go through another job search, then ill kill myself
>>219304201No I’m a weegieEdinburgh is beautiful as a city but too touristy
Not a fan of life, meBunch of freaks, living things. The dead have a stolid dignity
