i’m in bed with my gf (she’s asleep) and i need to brush my teeth but i don’t want to get up so as not to disturb her
but you're browsing /int/ and laughing at funny posts, so that's going to wake her up anyways.
nice blog, fag
wake her up with surprise butt sex instead
>>219316073that would be a crime in the Jewnited Golems of Goymerica
>>219316032act like your house is being broken into so she's too startled to be madclose the door, go to the bathroom and while you're in there brushing play youtube videos on max volume of the following sounds in top to bottom order:>cartoon fight sounds (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jvX1N3u0Yo)>mortal kombat's "finish him" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc3pdrEM4I8)>police sirens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKieGUH9pzg)prick yourself with a needle and smear some blood on your face to make it believableget back to bed and tell her "the bad people are gone sweaty"
>>219316032
fart in her face
>>219316073I did surprise sex twice. First time was honestly some of the best sex I've ever experienced, while the second time she elbowed me and gave me the silence treatment for a few days
>>219316958you're a rapist
>>219316975Yeah, well—womp.
