eating poo

also eating poo

Pooing for the lads to feast on

bump

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janny wont be happy this was posted early

Been up since 3:30 watching the F1
Extremely comfy feeling being up and about knowing everyone else is tucked up in bed snoozing

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lost my damned mind

>>219793667
Why not watch it while tucked up in bed, best of both worlds

He would hold his controller like that. Extremely clever image. Would be a shame if the site went down right now...

>>219793758
Decided to put it on the telly in the lounge, I'm lying down on the sofa with an electric blanket though, very comfy

phwoar

good breadberg diss

just in time as wun doth haveth imparted the poobergization momentarily dun retrodicted

propa good diss

>>219793908
BRAAAAAAAAAP

shoving a poo up me arse
God save the queen

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Rodney no!

>>219793962
I used to be paranoid about walking in on two of my friends doing this when we lived together and they weren't even gay

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what would you do?

woah

did not kno that shidd was even possible regarding agsinst rules post

>straight porn
>instantly deleted
>gay porn
>left up for hours
what's he playing at?

decided to be nice and leave the dog in and he shit everywhere

the umchickens they are roosting

looking like an OSRS type of day lads x

>>219794181
Lol based dog

>>219794246
Yes lad what's on the agenda

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Emma Watson could use my face as a chamber pot any day of the week.

going out for a walk. will hopefully do 10-12km or so, and then ill spend the rest of the day refreshing this shithole because what else would i do. what do you guys have planned for today?

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Saw a webm of some fit bird posted on /brit/ last night so I thought I'd check her out (Stella Francis)
Find an OF leak for her, sit down to have a look...
cock and bollocks. Fuck's sake.

>>219794334
Going to jump in the shower then head out into town and pick up some litter, clear the gaff up a bit

having a giggle about nothing

up to the part of red dead redemption where he's living on a farm with his family
My first time ever playing the game but I was spoiled on the ending sixteen years ago so I know what's coming
Kind of shit though to go from exciting gun fights to escorting cows around and "aww shucks my wife is a real battleaxe, isn't she folks?" cut-scenes, I'm surprised this game reviewed as well as it did

ignoring the gf's texts

>>219794423
it's supposed to underpin the tragedy ent it

>>219794445
I understand what they're trying to do but instead it feels like the game overstays its welcome
It doesn't help that Abigail is such a nag and has zero chemistry with John, every interaction between them seems like they low key hate each other

>>219794056
I would do the nasty in the pasty if my gran looked like that

oh bugger! ohhh bollocks!!! i've properly fucked it this time i have! i feel like shite!!

was at a birthing class yesterday and a paki couple came in and the immediately started talking about allah when asked to introduce themselves
they came in late and when he had a 10 minute break he spent like 45 minutes going to cafe nero so ended up missing a fair bit as well

>>219794423
just don't start the final part of the game with a Mauser equipped cause it's slightly broken and lessens the impact of a certain scene since you have so many bullets

>>219794497
that's just an accurate portrayal of marriage

aff tae maccies anypony want owt

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>Abortion? Well, that's a rough one. Bit of a tough pill to swaller. At first, I didn't rightly take kindly to the idea of killin' babies, but Dutch gave me this ole thick science book and I pretty much surmised that well, that thing is about as human as Micah here, which is lackin' to say the least, heh. Hell, I'd say a gal has the right to choose.

>A gal? As president? Well, what I can tell ya is its been nothin' but fellers since this whole thing here started up and what have we got? A bunch of other dead fellers. What have we got ta lose? I reckon' tryin' a gal's touch wouldn't do anyone no harm. If weakness is a concern of yours, I promise you some of the ladies runnin' in my gang would probably make Old Hickory look like a nancy in comparison. Hell, I'd reckon its her turn.

>>219794549
nuggets

gay porn been left up for an hour now

>>219794564
any particular reason why you can't stop yourself from going back to look at it?

why do i only ever attract intellectually impaired women
perhaps they can sense my genius and it's nature's way of keeping the gene pool of human IQ balanced

>>219794298
grinding quests and mining x

I wanna clop with you
all night

>>219794582
or that intelligent women can spot your midwittery

did anudda pooberg

gamblin'

>>219794607
well why can't i at least get midwit women then? i only ever get the special ed alumni it seems

>>219794582
I only ever attract older women, but not even the milf kind

>>219794567
it's offensive to my Christian values

SWEET CAROLINE

oh oh oh

sick of death of the “ai summary” shite on youtube

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>>219794671

>>219794704
screma

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>>219794702

>>219794702
LOL they are like this!

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Sir Hermeneutics of Suspicion

sausage sandwich and a coffee for breakfast lads x

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Sir Hermenuetics of Love

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hungover

>>219794823
cor it lush

https://youtu.be/AX7IOm9NHLk?si=mmBuCtIbgGoXtEXJ

Realized not having friends aint so bad cheers

fancy some southern comfort i reck

>>219794551
how do you thing progress was achieved if everyone was a bigot?

>>219794671
grotesque creature

>>219794704
AI bullshit

>>219794916
Have you tried granny flipping

couple of hours of gaming then i need to go out

might start keeping some chicken salt in my car so i can sprinkle them on my chips whenever i get maccies, might seem like a fat cunt thing to do but chips without chicken salt are utterly flaccid in comparison, wish maccas would just add them automatically, they'd triple their market share in australia

>>219794939
Fresh chicken salt is a good idea… always loved those girls who are into crystals

>>219794935
this but I don't need to go out so I'll just continue gaming

might contact my old dealer whom i've been ghosting for 3 years and say "excuse me sir would you be willing to sell me some illegal narcotics?"

Sir Chicken Salt

hate sundays i cant drink until 9pm cause i have to visit grandadbergstein

>>219794671
might try this

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>>219794837

>>219794966
my old dealer started a family and moved into a house with his gf
never thought my weed guy would be doing better at life than I am

Bemefactor esquire

Tupac jungle remix ep coming soon

got stomach acre

>>219795069
>stomach acre
I bet your stomach is an acre fatboy

>>219795116
Nasty fucking cunt aint ya

Norf norf norf norf

today is my last day using
tiktok
Instagram
Twitter
Reddit
YouTube
Snapchat
Netflix
Spotify
Any games

After today they will ALL be deleted from my devices. This is so I can lock in and fix my life as I waste too much time on these apps. I will still use 4chan though but only for an hour or so in the evening

made a coffee

>>219794917
I thought I was playing a bandit not a woke liberal

>>219795069
Take a tums

smashing my teeth with bricks

big hair balls dangling low and bouncing all about

>>219795140
>I will still use 4chan though
zero discipline

I'd like to arse you a few questions

https://youtu.be/tY7fi8TNokg?si=auVixTPn3fldH7gZ

Sorry lads I'm moved to america me

wank you very much

finished Buffy season 3
Should I watch Angel alongside Buffy now?

loads of nudie all sorts on my twitter.com home page
i hope sir keir starmer will be giving elong musk a stern talking to!

>Price of first class stamps to rise to £1.80
it's over

We at /brit/ are going to Cheltenham

Coming down with a cold...not good. The upside? I'm able to indulge in my favourite drink: Lemsip

sick of the woke trans agenda

might have a bath

12km runtoil on the card today
its a misty one

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Zoomer niggas won't know that phoneboxes used to rotate to prevent people from staying in them for too long

am doing a morning poo rn

going for a drive hopefully I don’t get caught speeding

>>219795332
I only send post once a year so I'm not bothered

>>219795403
hack the planet

>>219794898
You lot getting slagged off YET AGAIN. You'll do nothing as per usual

>one, sucking on a 'fee
>two, sucking on a 'fee
>three, sucking on a 'fee

>>219795403
you used to be able to call a special number to make them rotate
thats what me and the lads used to do to all the phone boxes before the internet was a thing

>>219795403
Surely the cost of having it spin would be more than the cost of the phone call so they would be losing money no

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>This session is now verified.

Just looked at my
Phone camera and saw one ugly fucking bastard looking back at me

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel
So dark blue; Not really that remarkable, really. Don't know why I mentioned it.

cosy in my duvet x

rorke trying to convince the hoes his megablocks are just as good as lego anyway

>>219795403
@grok is this true?

>>219795013
my weedman brought his wife and kid with him the first time he sold to me

>>219795330
>firtht

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>another day

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Mouse enjoyed going to church with Diego this morning. He learnt all about morality and that it is International Women's Day.

>>219795584
Surely you realise that god doesn't exist

>>219795584
uhh actually it's international penis-measuring day

sir buffy the vampire slayer

despise going out

I can't believe we got the world exclusive on Mousey
The Mail on Sunday and The Sunday Times were fighting over it

despacito

Foreigners get to know about 'Yes, Minister' but not 'The Thick of It.'

Catberg on a continuous mad one its entire life

>>219795664
Well they don't want people seeing the first series because Chris Langham is a nonce so it's hard to sell abroad with so few episodes I suppose

what blessed lives we have

>>219795664
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utopia_(Australian_TV_series) is an accurate portrayal of the Australian Political-Consultancy Complex

>wake up in an airbnb in Camden
>feel like I drank 8 beers and had a reasonable amount of mdma last night
>Bad sleep due to the aforementioned and it's on a noisy main road
>Train home isn't for another 4 hours, mate has already left to get his coach

This is going to be a long morning lads

issuing a papal bull

/brit/ performance reviews when

hooting and hollering

pretty sure the escort i saw the other night thought i was a closet gay because not only did i fail to spaff during the hour session but i spent a lot of time cuddling instead of shagging, and i complimented her hair a lot

>>219795728
well maybe next time you'll think twice about drinking poison and imbibing illegal psychoactive drugs

>>219795815
hmm

>>219795815
poof

>>219795815
her pubic hair?

>>219795847
she was a redhead and the carpet did indeed match the drapes

>>219795815
nothing wrong with that
i always cuddle the 'scort

remember when you could sit down and play a game for 8 hours straight and not get bored or distracted and were immersed in the experience

had my wank

imagine the grim cunts who eat escorts out

>>219795861
did that yesterday

back in my day everyone in /brit/ was an incel but now they've all taken the escortpill

>>219795889
what game

the iranians should start electing people they hate as the next successor to khomeini to get israel to kill them

>>219795896
yakuza like a dragon

Sir Ayatollah Donald Trump

>>219795879
i did once, it weren't terrible, it was 69 too so i was getting my knob sucked in return

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imagine you're getting done for cp and catberg is just sitting in listening while the police talk to you

>>219795820
Doubt it mate, it's really the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

>>219795933
For a split second I thought you said she was 69 kek

English defence league

>>219795935
What was the husband's horrifying secret

>>219795949
Big fan of elderly prossers myself
They've stopped caring and they'll let you do anything

>>219795966
cat shagger

>>219795966
still waiting to find out i got distracted by the cat
the comments mention he got hacked and roblox so maybe he cheats at online games

>>219795966
Downloaded thumbnails of Japanese hentai

>>219795949
could've been for all i know, her page said she was 24 but prostitutes all lie about their age, 6 years later she's still escorting except now it says she's 26. they must age in the opposite of dog years

>>219795966
posts on /brit/

I will be taking 50mg Sildenafil for the 2nd time tonight at 9pm. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

>>219793908
Who takes their phone to a waterpark

31 years young with some of my life ahead of me

different type of anger seeing boomers driving nice cars that I know they’ve never taken over 60mph

>>219794917
Abortion is progress ok?!

>>219796014
who says he isn't across the street with a dslr and a telescopic lens

>>219795470
Its all powered by counter weights an that. Not electric

>>219793908
This looks like my IRL wife
No complaints tho

Trump says he doesn't need the UKs help. Will Farage and Kemi suddenly decide we shouldn't join the war now?

>>219796030
That would actually be more acceptable to me

reckon cyberpunk edgerunners is worth watching if i like the game but don't really care for anime?

>>219796045
sincerely love chunky women with thick cellulite arse and tree trunk legs

>>219796072
can't be better than a wank can it

>>219796072
I thought it was ok. I watched it in Portuguese not Japanese.

mumzy just bought me a bacon sarnie in bed for no reason bloody love that woman

>>219796093
porque no los dos?
(fun fact: the girl from that advert is actually australian)

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Emma Watson sexo

auditing /brit/

>>219796104
Really hate this, thanks

dunno what to do today probably just ty to find a game to play i reckon

>>219796153
Tiberium sun

>>219796153
can never really go wrong with a wank

trying to sit in my chair with my duvet wrapped around me but it's extremely unwieldy and awkward. not sure how comfyfags do it

>>219796045
Post source

oh god the poo the poo is coming

rorke wearing his teenage mutant ninja terrapins onesie to bed

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>>219796136
get them over iran

>>219796162
Been thinking about one of these myself actually

Which one of you has a big peener? I know one of you does.

>>219796225
Cannot comprehend a more boring group of cunts to be stuck on a plane with

>>219796162
Never go wrong with some dimmies can you champ?

>>219796225
Glasgow to...? Idk a reddit destination

morning gays

loads of people died from my school when I was there probably more than average.

happy international cunt's day

>>219796276
Redditch

>>219796293
alri harry

>>219795815
reckon prozzers get that from at least 50% of their clients

has your dad ever bought a Jaffa orange?

Wifeberg wants to get one of them robomasks that lights your face up with LEDs for some nonsense reason. I don't want to have to sit next to a cyberman on the sofa while watching TV. I somehow feel that I'm going to lose this battle.

oh for fuck's sake i thought i bought chicken schnitzels this is fucking beef ravioli

>>219796327
...yh

Todays eats

>breakfast
Corn chips
>lunch
Samosa
>dinner
Muesli bar

>>219796351
Right he’s buying nukes for Israel bro he’s a jew

why didn't the Russians just give Iran nukes????

might draw a picture of the toilfu and send it to her

>>219796341
people will spend hundreds on shit like that but then not do a bit of exercise and eat healthy which are the best things for skin

happy international womens day to the special little lady of this thread

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Emma being shown some of my milder posts about her.

>>219796375
post your drawings here :)

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>>219796276
stansted to ohio (10 hours)

200 ‘Equity Punks,’ along with staff and media participated in the world’s highest tasting session, as the company’s founders, James Watt and Martin Dickie, took to the aisle to introduce BrewDog Flight Club IPA, a 4.5% ABV New England-style IPA that was brewed using an intense hop blend to compensate for taste buds pushed slightly off-kilter by the flight’s elevation.

pencilled in a foul sloppy boozetoil shit for 9:30 sharp

Day of the rope for women

>>219796416
Homo

I’ve noticed that the UK isn’t doing as much as they could to help the war effort in Israel against the Iranians. How come?

Breakfast
Dinner
Tea

Sorry southern poofs

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scranning a video

>>219796153
I'm currently enjoying terminator resistance although the unexpected romance path is making me feel things I don't particularly want to feel

>>219796382
Yeah turns out women not being very smart meme has a basis in reality

Brunch
Lunch
Dunch

Sorry britoid fagoids

>>219796426
YOU SAD BASTARD

>>219796459
This is the real one, anything else is for poortherners

>>219796400
I'm tempted but I'll probably just get relentlessly mocked for it and see the pictures reposted daily for a year

>>219796430
probably because our entire military force is like 5 tanks and a ship

the "tolerant" left I suppose

>>219796430
idiot. starmer pledged everything immediately because he's a goyslave. and trump still uses at as deflection because his war isn't going well.

Afternoon Tea

was going to go and see that new Scream movie (alone) but apparently it's shit so I won't bother

>>219796514
For me it's intolerant Jeff

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feel sick

>>219796430
we aren't obligated to do shit niqqa

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Me entering /brit/ to shitpost with the lads.

watching Laura Kikeberg doing the bidding of her paedophile zog masters interviewing the Iranian ambassador

Feel as though I'm a primitive man in a metropolitan world

>>219796531
deep

>>219796539
aw come here *offers you a hug* *you go in for a hug* haha PSYCH *starts raping you*

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>>219796546
*splits you in half straight down the middle with a Dane axe*

>>219796531
actually most emotions only last for 90 seconds

>>219796546
hi you look lovely x

>>219796479
that's fair

I would like to see them tho

Pissing out my arse right now. Doesn't bode well for me. Too many beers last night it seems.

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lads

>>219796531
yes and I regret trying anything that caused me fear, dwell on it for weeks and months then occasionally play the event back in my head for years after so what is your point

>>219796615
i'm choosing to imagine a cute albeit chubby redhead woman saying this

>>219796615
>Pissing out my arse right now
Mate that's not right, piss comes out of the front not out of the back. Get yourself down to a garage for an MOT pronto x

>>219796562
UM x

>>219796623
that's just catastrophizing and anxiety

my choom jackie got zeroed by some gonk earlier lads

>>219793576
>the greatest Englishman is Irish
Many such cases

my mum's mate found out she had cancer because she threw up a poo
she's fine now, but imagine how grim and terrifying that was

Been seeing the protogf for coming up 2 months and she isn’t sure about making it official. Might be time to jump ship as much as I like her

poured petrol over a carpet and tried to light it with (like 3 at once) matches

didn't work but not putting a lighter down there

Have never met a person in real life who gives a shit about James Bond. Don't know what's going on there.

we have only one fear to fear, and that's fear itself

>>219796701
mine was coming on way too strong within a week which i'd say is worse, have to beat them off with a stick so i do haha

>>219796693
apparently it comes out like diarrhoea i always thought it came out like a big log of poo when I was younger that would be mental

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I NEED to shag her

>>219796713
old people i reckon, my granddad was a big fan

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max rorkeatansky

knackered

>>219796713
I like the Sean Connery ones.

>>219796729
Fuck me lad could have warned me I needed my sunglasses on. Shinier than the sun that bint

oh ffs just realised i'm going to be the only old wanker at the pension home without grandkids to complain about

>>219796729
always wanted a gf like this where they've got pretty eyes but kind of a weird looking small mouth

blud jus finna say naaah did blud jus finna say wha i thank he finna say naaaaaaaaah

>>219796748
That’s just my pearlescent cum glistening on her face (and minge)

Sir Greggs Breakfast

>>219796747
Anyone got the webbum of him slapping that one about?

>>219796747
do you though

Prince William Visited A Cornish Bakery And You Won't Believe What Happened Next

>>219796729
need to impregnate her with twins and call them holly and jessica

>>219796693
right well now I know that exists
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_vomiting

>>219796735
sc

when you open a pack of crisps upside down and it feels like failure

>>219796764
Congratulations your cum is indeed very sparkly. Post your cumstack.

>>219796755
reckon our generation will have ultra VR porn and all sorts of fun new drugs by the time we get to that age so i'm not stressin

>>219796788
Okay... NOT clicking THAT link haha

>>219796788
lad, LAD
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_microbiota_transplant

>>219796786
LOL
>>219796758
small mouths/lips on girls are cute and underrated

>>219796786
Cousins got twins and one is called Jessica and the other one is called something that isn't holly but all I can think of is holly and Jessica in my head when I see them. Hope they don't get drowned in a bath though, wouldn't like that to happen.

>>219796782
Yea, plus the George Lazenby one. Bond belongs in the 1960s. The 70s on just seems wrong. Not groovy enough.

doing the 67 meme on my 67th birthday to my baffled grandchildren (who don't exist) as I slip further into dementia

>>219796758
what about if theyve got a dad whos a recently deceased paedophile double child murderer

What was huntley's endgame

might start dressing like an 80s punk, like those lads from the start of terminator

james bummer
homosexual sex pest

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>>219796824

Jessica, a very slaggy name to call a child. Imagine giving a baby girl a stripper name like Jessica.

>>219796830
swings and roundabouts

was eating popcorn and now there is some stuck in my teeth

>>219796735
more like mad minimum aha

>>219796855
mad mid

>>219796852
time to start reaching for a toothpick or some floss, or if there's none available, desperately grasping for anything nearby that might fit between your teeth lad!

Imagine never having children.
That’s genuinely scary
More scary than death

>>219796872
fuck sake that's so much better
why am I such a useless autistic retard

never understood what compels high earning people to not just check out of society after they earn their first several hundred thousand or million. my dentist for instance why does he still work 6 til 6

i know in my job we can't pay some people a higher amount because then everyone would switch over to that and not do other jobs. but seems to run contrary to paying doctors a lot more and still expecting them to show up to the wards

unless you're right at the top and chasing immortality as a billionaire or chasing world historic level fame and protection by being elected prime minister there really isn't much motive to very far either for career or money

got a little cousin called Nigger
no idea what his parents were thinking

shan't name her
>jessica
>claire
>rebecca
>samantha
>olivia
>melissa

>>219796842
what about if a lad is named jesse

>>219796852
Time to stick two sharpened pencils in your nostrils and headbutt a table as hard as you can

having a coffee and one of those malteser bunnies

>>219796896
gay

>>219796914
>>219796914
>>219796914

gfowitz is named charlotte, which i always thought was a slaggy name so i shortened it to charlie, and eventually it became chaz

>>219796879
all of the children of the world are my children

>>219796896
Jesse's girl by rick springfield is the greatest song of all time

>>219796885
Inflation is bound to erode the wealth bequeathed onto your heirs. Sums that sound outlandish today to pay for a house or a master's degree will be the norm in a few decades.

>>219796884
no lad, yours was funny and I wouldn't have thought of mine without you
youre a good lad