Favorite Quran verse/hadith?
>>220315414i saw the prophet eating chicken
>>220315414the one where Mohammad praises two pagan goddesses.
>>220315437kek
>>220315437i havent heard that one in a while. made me laugh on a bad day thanks
Someone handed me a free quran wtth an english translation. It's the most unintelligible thing I've ever read. None of it makes any sense, it's all just rambling. It's so bad that the editors had to add little bits in brackets just so it would make sense and there are brackets everywhere
>>220315470bad day for me too fren
>>220315414Nothing, even the surahs near the back that Muslims say are so poetic and deep really aren't. What about Surah 111 aka Mohammed didn't like a bloke so claimed he had a revelation from Allah saying he was a shit.>>220315532I thought it was uninspired and mindless but I would describe it as unintelligible, unless you're not used to reading religious texts.
>>220315414The last hour would not come unless the Muslims will fight against the Jews and the Muslims would kill them until the Jews would hide themselves behind a stone or a tree and a stone or a tree would say: Muslim, or the servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me; come and kill him
>>220315437Do you think it was fried?
Why are there so many anthropomorphic rocks in Islam
>>220315704isnt abu lahab like comically evil
>>220315414The prophet whispered in Abdul’s ear in a gentle voice, " Homosex is the purest form of love."
>>220315414O believers! Do not enter the homes of the Prophet without permission ˹and if invited˺ for a meal, do not ˹come too early and˺ linger until the meal is ready. But if you are invited, then enter ˹on time˺. Once you have eaten, then go on your way, and do not stay for casual talk. Such behaviour is truly annoying to the Prophet, yet he is too shy to ask you to leave. But Allah is never shy of the truth. And when you ˹believers˺ ask his wives for something, ask them from behind a barrier. This is purer for your hearts and theirs. And it is not right for you to annoy the Messenger of Allah, nor ever marry his wives after him. This would certainly be a major offence in the sight of Allah
the zlutty one
>>220315414The one where satan BRAAAAAAAAAAPs
>>220315414One of you niggas needs to make a hadithjak out of this. The founder of the world's 2nd most important religion pissing like a girl and having desert bedouins make fun of him while his wife watches is too absurdly comical to be wasted
>>220315437>Barrah found the piss potGraded sahih here: https://surahquran.com/Hadith-62301.html
>>220316545>>220316788
https://islamicwisdom.neocities.org/lots of good ones
Men are in charge of women1 by [right of] what Allāh has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allāh would have them guard.2 But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance3 - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them [lightly].4 But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allāh is ever Exalted and Grand.
>>220315414O believers! Do not enter the homes of the Prophet without permission ˹and if invited˺ for a meal, do not ˹come too early and˺ linger until the meal is ready. But if you are invited, then enter ˹on time˺. Once you have eaten, then go on your way, and do not stay for casual talk. Such behaviour is truly annoying to the Prophet, yet he is too shy to ask you to leave. But Allah is never shy of the truth. And when you ˹believers˺ ask his wives for something, ask them from behind a barrier. This is purer for your hearts and theirs. And it is not right for you to annoy the Messenger of Allah, nor ever marry his wives after him. This would certainly be a major offence in the sight of Allah.
>>220315414>UwU Al-Zutt-sama plz ride me! >Ive been such a naughty prophet UwU>we can go all night long *purrs*
>>220315414The moon
>>220315437Banger. Jesus wept tier banger.
the one that says if you divorce a prepubescent girl she'll have to wait 3 months before she can remarry to prove she's not pregnant wth your childIt's in the Quran
>>220315437Love this one
>>220315414Hadiths are all fucked up.These days I was discussing muslim theology with chatgpt and the machine apparently thought the shia had the right idea
>>220319162>forsake them in bedWomen are not horny so they would not care, this would not be a punishment for them.
>>220322627>>220321254>>220321074>>220321037great tier>>220316402>>220321037it's gotta be this onethe absurdity of having autist mo tacitly inserting his own complaint of guests overstaying after a meal into a holy text with the sudden>btw don't marry my wives after I dieafter never fails to make me laugh
>>220315414ayatul kursi
>>220316296It's not anthropomorphic. It's a hadith about modesty.
>>220316788This legitimately sounds like a joke lol
>>220325003They are.It's just trickier to make them horny
>>220315414"when the prophet retired for the evening, he disrobed from his daily clothes and his sirwaal (under-trousers). (Upon) the inside of the sirwaal were unclean markings from the day, with a strong odour. The prophet told me to wash the sirwaal first with sand, and then with water. He told me to dry the sirwaal in a (hidden) place. When I did so, the odour was gone."-narrated by Aysha, Sahih Al-Bukhari
>>220315414Al Adiyat is the coolest surah title
>>220315414this
>>220327065LOL
>>220325378Gak
>>220315437fuck you fucking pissraeli scum, but yeah this made me laugh
>>220316545>dhaifsafely be ignored
>>220316296>The last hour would not come unless the Muslims will fight against the Jews and the Muslims would kill them until the Jews would hide themselves behind a stone or a tree and a stone or a tree would say: Muslim, or the servant of Allah, there is a Jew behind me; come and kill him; but the tree Gharqad would not say, for it is the tree of the Jews.
>>220327200copesitting down to pee is sunnah
Indeed I am exhausted
>>220328620LOL
>>220325378>unclean markings from the daythe daily shart ?
>>220325378>unclean markings from the daythe gaylie shart ?
>>220315437good choice
>>220315414I really like these:Sahih Muslim Book 37, Hadith 6665, 6666Abu Musa' reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:When it will be the Day of Resurrection Allah would deliver to every Muslim a Jew or a Christian and say: That is your rescue from Hell-Fire.Chapter : Throwing of non-believers in hell-fire for believers as Divine Grace and Mercy.Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: No Muslim would die but Allah would admit in his stead a Jew or a Christian in Hell-Fire.
>>220316402what was even the point of keeping this one in? Its not like he's gonna invite anyone over after his death. Why must all the future generations know about this particular autism quirk?
>>220316788
>>220316788>Section: Coitus
>>220331761because Quran is completely based on the contexts of Muhammad's lifetime, if it's not borrowing stories from other sources before Muhammad was born, but muslims will pretend it contains universal knowledge and is a perfect guide because 7th century Arabia was a fucking utopia
That one were Salomo talks with an ant. Also surah 7 with Satan is quite nice.
wasted my young years being forced to memorize the entirety of this cursed booki don't even remember it anymore i could've memorized so many different thingsthanks mom and dad really cool i really love this
>>220321254golden snub monkeys are not violent
>>220316402That's literally me thoughExcept I don't have a wifeWas Muhammad really just autist that managed to win?
>>220315437>>220315702kek
>>220331991Tbh this applies to all religion
>>220332533are you/were you a certified hafiz then?
>>220332533I thought turks were secular n shiet
