purple and red and yellow and on fire

we're all in here
>>222754803

What do you even do when you willy falls off, wedding is cancelled and you realise your best mates think it's funny to ruin your life?

I think you have to kill the ringleader and then just an hero and hope for a better lot in the next life
Anything short of that wouldn't be justice surely?

Just farted

>>222754842
I would exact violent revenge on everyone involved then kill myself

Can you get a prosthetic willy? maybe I'll have my "mates" zip tie my cock off so I can get a prosthetic average sized willy instead of my tiny ugly willy

>>222754842
Right well I reckon his mates probably didn't intend to castrate him and probably no longer find it funny

And what are the incels up to today then?

>>222754842
He’s suing them.

>>222754877
seething about women myself

>>222754877
I'm at work
x

>>222754875
So what was the joke? They clearly wanted to do some harm at the very least otherwise they wouldn't have tied it that tight

>>222754877
listening to the Orb and eating crisps

>>222754869
i'd like to know too

>>222754842
QRD?

>>222754800
You forgot the 20 is plenty sign

going to stay up late tonight and get steaming even though I am working tomorrow waheyyyy

>>222754877
don't have access to your personal schedule do i?

You have to wait a while before doing this again

/brit/ is filled with the sorts who watched Drive and bought a Drive jacket then watched The Matrix and thought it was actually real and that we're living in a simulation

You lot will believe anything won't you

>>222754869
sorry mate a grim flaccid off-centre meat sleeve designed for mentally ill lesbians is the best I can do

>>222754888
>So what was the joke?
Bloke wakes up with a zip tie on his cock and then his mates laugh whilst he tries to get it off

>>222754916
ktim, I drive haha
x

>>222754920
yh

>>222754927
Proper funny that deano mate you know what you're right he should just let bygones be bygones just a bit of banter from his pals after all

believing in gay porn communism

glad I don't have mates like that. stag dos I've been on have been civilised just having nice meals and a few drinks. no need to mess with anyone's willy really

Rorke getting bit on the cock by a spider that crawled out of his bananas and going on a mad 24 hour sex bender before it falls off

>>222754875
Yeah they found it so unfunny they sent pictures of the cock to other people which are now being spread around the internet

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2.79 MB WEBM

>>222754964

haha yeah my mates and stag dos aren't like that haha

No way in hell you’ll be passed out long enough for your cock to fall off.

the only stranger who's ever touched my willy was a ladyboy. i wish i were making this up

nobody has shared the bloody article about some bloke losing his willy, I looked through the whole of the last thread as well

mad how I'm poor

in disbelief at how hot and rancid my farts are because of the fish, chips, vinegar, and lager. absolutely drowned it in vinegar and am paying the price

>>222754949
You're incredibly unintelligent if you think I suggested it was okay
>>222754976
Literally zero proof it was the same people who did it who spread the picture

surely it would go back to normal when you take the zip tie off

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1.15 MB PNG

https://vocaroo.com/16rM3W4X3yj5

>>222754800
Who’s going to tell the soulless void we don’t like them

>>222755006
the homosexual cologne

>>222754996
People pass out on heroin and end up with nerve damage from laying on their arm or whatever for hours.

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If whites are so much better than blacks like Rorke claims, then why are some of the best footballers in the world black?

>>222755016
Not if it’s become necrotic.

>>222754996
it didnt fall off it had to be cut off because it died

do myself no favours getting into runt toil early

>>222755015
>Literally zero proof it was the same people who did it who spread the picture
They must have sent it to someone who then spread it
If you were truly remorseful and cared about your friend you wouldn't even be talking about it with other people let alone giving them a look

>>222755052
https://youtube.com/watch?v=PFChup4YMIM

>>222755056
mpoopee mixed
olise mixed
dumbele dogshit

>>222755062
Yeah but you’d wake up from the pain at some point.

>>222755067
>They must have sent it to someone who then spread it
Why do you think so?

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posts are going a bit quick

fat ugly neighbour is listening to Don't Fear the Reaper but she should fear the reaper as he is going to come for her very soon given the way she lives

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>>222755056
gay sport for retards

>>222755096
Not necessarily

>>222755106
Because if they hadn't taken a picture and subsequently sent or shown it to other people it wouldn't be currently circulating the internet would it

>>222755107
*speeds up*

>>222755120
Is this a threar

>>222755096
he was probably so drunk he would be out for long enough for it to be too late

spongebob big guy pants ok

>>222755129
>if they hadn't taken a picture
The picture of the knob is clearly in a hospital setting you mong

>>222755144
no she just lives a terrible lifestyle and will die early as a result

>>222755124
doing that at 93 mins is hilarious

Even rorke would be taken a back if he could hear what language my fathers uses towards black players when he watches a football match

>>222755124
rat

>>222755056
Black parents are literally obsessed with their children becoming footballers. It's their equivalent of chinese parents forcing their children to becone accountants or doctors.

>>222755166
I want to see a side go 4-0 down then at 93 mins they all surround an opposing player, take a knee then cover their mouths, thus ending the match.

Remember back in 2012 when sites like Reddit and Wikipedia were doing huge protests against SOPA in the USA?

Why is there just absolutely no pushback now against age verification schemes when this is 100x worse and will quite literally lead to the death of the internet as we know it? Age Verification is really Digital ID which will kill online anonymity on any site which enforces it.

Literally EVERY western government is moving in lockstep on this. This is fucking terrifying. They are building a complete surveillance state worse than anything Orwell envisaged.

Next they'll go after VPNs, Tor, and then eventually even things like IRC chat rooms, I2P, Fediverse. Literally fucking EVERYTHING.

So nobody is going to post the article? Just gonna keep talking about it?

>>222755156
Changes absolutely nothing you utter sped, unless you think hospitals are in the habit of sharing pictures like that with the patients mates

>>222755236
what article

>one chance at life
>born into a developing totalitarian digital panopticon regime where the White race is dying
Cool

>>222755248
not cool though is it

>>222755230
spongebob big guy pants ok

>>222755230
Get over it leftypol

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>>222755124
Okay let me translate my point into American for you:

If whites are so much better than blacks like Cletus claims, then why are some of the best handegg players in the world black?

>>222754842
What is this running gag from the previous thread referring to? What happened?

>>222755247
The one about some guy losing his knob

>>222755238
>unless you think hospitals are in the habit of sharing pictures like that with the patients mates
No I don't think that you retard. That's why it probably isn't the same mates who did it to him. Christ you're fucking dim.

>>222755260
ill never get sucked off by something like this
im swedish btw

>>222755270
there is no article

>>222755248
kek

222755269
Sorry you're not an interesting or likeable enough poster for me to get you up to speed on this topic, lurk moar

>>222755248
youll do nothibg

lads running around helpless, gasping, choking for air trying to understand "the article" rather than just loading the previous thread which is still very much in the catalog and reading the fucking post

>>222754927
Were they retarded?

>>222736493
>>222736493
>>222736493

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>>222755266
tom brady is white though

*roars*
*rapes you*
*roars again*
*shrieks*

lost my knob in ibiza

>>222755271
Ah yes it's the nurses who sent it to their own pals for a laugh haha yes that's a completely believable situation
Genuinely baffling how you're playing all these mental gymnastics and coming up with bizarre scenarios to acquit these scummy mates on an online image board

Is that your mates cock deano, is that why you're so touchy about it?

>>222754998
Did you have fun at least?

>>222755269
These dickheads refuse to share, they just keep going on about it

lost his knob in ibiza

>RSC casts Sharon D Clarke as black lesbian Othello in reimagining of play
Far and away the royal Shakespeare company is the most subversive cultural institution in this country

>>222755209
Idiot. There is an active slave market from Africa to Europe for sport players.

>>222755328
>Ah yes it's the nurses who sent it to their own pals for a laugh haha yes that's a completely believable situation
Never said that

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i'm obsessed with her.

>>222755315
thank you

>>222755352
Yeah it's real in your head I'm sure

>>222755361
ever tried not being a weird incel freak?

>>222755350
As long as she still murders the white woman I don't see the problem

In other stag do news, a Briton on holiday in Portugal may never walk again after a fall from a balcony.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/insight/briton-faces-surgery-denial-after-portugal-stag-do-fall/gm-GM78106055?

>>222755361
post bare tits

needs his whole cock cutting off

>>222755358
Concession accepted

>>222755230
For the same reason there weren't meaningful protests against covid or strikes and struggling against the war in Ukraine; the Left has acquiesced with the western military-industrial complexes as it is their organic part and would never eo anything to jeopardise the goals of the deep state/foreign policy.

Leftypol reported me for racism because I btfod him last night, absolutely pathetic little worm he is. I only got a warning anyway, based jannies.

they posted her pics a million times but have they ever visited her grave to pay respects? says a lot about them honestly

how long would it take your willy to go black like that after being cable tied?

>>222755321
I said "some of", I didn't say "all". Some of the best "soccer" players have been white (Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo) but then others have been black or mixed-race (Pele, Mbappe, Thierry Henry)

>>222755429
About an hour I reckon

>>222755230
And don't forget the ongoing appropriation of the Wage through electronic means; what is the wage if you can't hold it? It is more like sustenance provided to you, rather than your money. Now the bosses know where you spend it. You aren't allowed to pick up cash beyond a certain limit. They can freeze it any time you want (remember the Freeeom Convoy in Canada?)

>>222755429
Rorke, I...

>>222755361
insane breasticles

>>222755447
I see, is this why you're a fat unemployed dolescum?

people forget how good Thierry Henry was

>>222755473
I remember

Gonna be honest did not enjoy looking at that damaged cock dunno why I clicked on the link

abstaining from wanking and pornography in hopes of impressing a girl
looking forward to it not working so I can go back to wanking and looking at pornography

>>222755473
Nope. They don't

>>222755484
Why is she going to be impressed by that?

>>222755473
tbf I did yeah

>>222755484
Impressing a girl how?

>>222755248
>where the White race is dying

You completely missed the goal you Roberto Baggio of an intellectual

>>222755429
I've had mine on for 40mins and it's only gone a bit red so far, I will keep you updated

One of my least favourite Americanisms which sadly seems to be picking up traction here is the replacement of specific verbs with "do"
>I'll do the cheeseburger
Is one of the more annoying examples

And here is my desk where I haven't wanked in 3 weeks *wink*

>>222755537
ok

>>222755479
Just learned that Hristo Stoichkov was the top scorer in the 1994 mundial

>>222755519
ESL retard response from a boring brown mong

I'll shag the cheeseburger

>>222755555
what a get

>>222755544
Fuck you

>>222755499
"I haven't wanked in two weeks"
*waggles eyebrows suggestively*

Your eyes, man.

Cooking a 'za

might go get some crisps

>>222755566
ok

>>222755554
Perfect english and accurate analogy by me, an ESL indeed, you boiling cretin

>>222755548
Yep, we came in fourth that year and Bulgarians act like we won the world cup, still we had some kino matches. He was very good in Barcelona btw, top tier player.

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everybody do the rorke

you're all fat

>>222755575
>>222755578
Fat cunts

I am Fares I am full Irish R1b by my servant.

>>222755555
Wahey, easy on the sauce Bugs

>>222755598
>tf
>tp

>>222755596
>>222755598
rude but true

India ;)

>>222755555
Would you do one though

>>222755555
I can haz??

Shotgun.

PMQs today. Could be great

wish I could stop touching myself for long enough that I could do big pornstar cummies in an asian bareback hooker

>>222755589
Just like Ireland in 1990

There is a hilarious article about the bulgarian team of 1994 in sombrero. Can you read greek?

I'll do the triple XL munchy box, thank you kindly, Abdul *tips 30%*

That's Ireland and Bulgaria filtered

so thankful Egypt had graced us with his presence

tipping is haram

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>>222755589
>we came in fourth that year and Bulgarians act like we won the world cup
we have a team like that in our league

>>222755666
the bulgarian poster is a good egg

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2.79 MB MP4

>>222755617
Not a fan if I'm honest

>>222755684
I bet every female in your family has onlyfans, saar

>>222755661
Yeah, what you gonna "do" with it?

need England to come out tonight with Buntingesque aura
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6iY1QoEwDs

>>222755391
Indians vs trains
Brits vs balconies
Spaniards vs bulls
American vs burgers

>>222755712
was the Scouser a show-off?

>>222755710
Hand it to a homeless man for likes on tiktok, obviously. I wouldn't eat that shit if you paid me.

i think the reason why i end up getting too drunk and sexually harrassing girls is because i'm incapable of understanding how any of them could be sexually interested in me and eventually after too much alcohol i lose all awareness that i'm an unappealing incel and just become some lecherous creature

>>222755654
>Can you read greek?
slowly and with difficulty, easier if it's in caps :D

>>222755682
many such cases, but I don't blame em, it's the first and last time we ever came close to winning such a tournament

>>222755718
missed Australians vs. emus which should always be first

>>222755712
>Buntingesque

>>222755712
Professional darts might be the funniest sport going
None of the athletes even really take themselves seriously

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they will literally brag about doing "not my problem" type shit and then go and post how indians are dumb for doing the same

you're all the same

A woman, in her heart of hearts, longs for 3 things
>To be romanced
>To play an irreplacable role in a great adventure
>To unveil beauty

Deep in heart if every man are 3 core desires
>A battle to fight
>An adventure to live
>A beauty to rescue

>>222755734
Have you tried approaching them without alcohol

>>222755742
>None of the athletes even really take themselves seriously
they absolutely do
most of them are firmly up their own arse in fact, your post was extremely poor

>>222755734
i do this as well but sometimes it works

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1.35 MB MP4

>>222755750
Not my problem

>a munchy box to consume

>>222755742
The opposite is the case

>>222755760
Right well sorry I'm not a little virge so don't follow the lives of others that closely

>>222755784
in future don't opine on things you don't know about such as darts or shagging women

grown men watching someone throw darts

for some reason there's blood on my neck

white working class love their littering. absolute scum. I notice in scum areas that the only people taking pride in their homes and sweeping the public pavement outside are pakistanis because they come from a place where no authority sorts things out for you and you have to look after yourself. taking responsibility and having pride in your home and life is an alien concept to many white working class

>>222755798
scr done

>>222755775
they could save money on bin bags if they just tell everyone to chuck their rubbish straight out the window

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DOCTOR CONGO WE'RE COMING TO KILL YOU

>>222755806
The opposite is the case

just sat down in my /brit/ chair in my /brit/ room to post /brit/ posts on /brit/

grown arse man drinking a beer

mental lie, no (You) given

Now he's been done he's going to seethe about darts

>>222755798
Shagged more women than you've had hot dinners sonny Jim learn your place

a kizza to scran
a jacamo to wear
a ngubu to support

>>222755463
looked them up yesterday they were nice

>>222755757
yes and spent all my school and uni years being rejected along those lines
i didn't just imagine girls dont like me - they dont like me
>>222755771
yes this is the worst as well
only time i've ever pulled a woman is while smashed and presumably she is as well so she doesnt get what i look like (needless to say i've never had a second "date" even when i've managed to secure a phone number)

>>222755822
ywnb/b/

>>222755828
a new seethe topic has hit the mould

Don't know about darts but I like it when they go "ONNNNNNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIGHTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

>>222755842
not allowed to do that anymore, due to woke

>>222755806
love littering me love pissing in bottles and lobbing them out the car window down some cozy road there a street not far from me sometimes i go over there in the night and piss up a wall in the dark

>>222755806
I noticed we are terrible for littering compared to our peers in europe. like there is something primitive and subhuman about us compared to germany/netherlands/scandinavia. it's like we are 50 years behind in our attitude to things like that. too many people here just shit on the ground or throw their takeaways out the car window. zero respect. selfishness is rampant

>>222755806
>I notice in scum areas that the only people taking pride in their homes and sweeping the public pavement outside are pakistanis
Are you taking the piss? Also having visited Pakistan I can tell you the lack of authority absolutely does not instil a sense of personal responsibility

Yep despite your seethe we WILL be talking about football in here tonight so use your next few hours to find somewhere else to go to

>>222755854
Got a quid on Harry Kane to score 2+ goals, 4/1 boosted odds

>>222754903
>>222755269
>>222755336
>Lads on a stag do
>One passes out
>Other lads think it would be funny to put a signet ring on his willard
>Slip it on
>Forget about it/leave it on purpose
>Willard gets bigger
>Turns purple
>Has to get it chopped off
>Fiancee cancels wedding

>>222755852
>Are you taking the piss?
He's just an oikophobic mong

never met anyone who is into darts and has an iq above 80

it's a ""sports"" for actual mongs who find even men kicking a ball about too complicated to follow

>>222755848
just remembered i pissed in a bottle this morning for the first time in years

>>222755854
yes I will be questioning which team is dr Congo and which team is Nigeria

>>222755056
There's about 5 trillion black people and they all love football

>>222755869
what is a high iq sport then?

Man in gimp suit spotted tied up by Wetherspoons: here's why

>>222755735
But would you understand it?

>>222755230
Rorke why do you want to talk to children anonymously so bad?

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>>222755806
Ok mate

>>222755873
LOL
>>222755869
my iq is 120 and i was into darts as a kid

>>222755870
good lad would love to piss all over a public toilet with you
gotta make use of it while you can there's fellas losing nobs on stag-dos

>>222755890
Stop trying to groom this Bulgarian chap you creepy bastard
Are you really that starved of friendship?

I do notice that white people swept outside and respected their homes more often in the old days because you had to take charge of your life. feels like now they are almost infantilised and just give up any responsibility. it's a symptom of low self esteem and life prospects.

>>222755850
You're not wrong, Scandinavia is cleaner. I think it's because Britain has too much class tension. Probably the same reason India is unclean.

>>222755848
HOWLING good on you lad

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>>222755712
>>222755814

>>222755806
Making up absolute bullshit are we now, leftypol?

>>222755918
Fuck do you mean "sweep outside"? There's nothing to sweep up outside my house

>>222755913
Stop farting from your mouth

I've completed Pokemon Sword so I'm going to go do the DLCs now

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>>222755806

>>222754880
Extremely american reaction.

>one life
>born to cobalt miners in the Dr Congo who have 12 kids

i live miles from any other person

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right that's the haircut with the fit zoomer lass booked

>>222755966
>kick the ball good
>they pay you £200,000 a week

>>222755056
Guess sports is the only thing that matters in the world. #fifa #premier league

you mean to tell me that there are actual jeets and pakis here

>>222755975
19 quid for a haircut, taking the fucking piss

>>222755898
>as a kid
you were intelligent enough to drop it when you grew up

>>222754800
Never tell anyone you speak another language because you will end up either babysitting workers or translating both are exhausting

>>222755806
>>222755850
Why though? I don't believe older British generations were like this.

>>222755975
hope she fucks your shit up

>>222755918
People increasingly have the idea that the state should be responsible for everything and that it's only function is to serve as an adult nursery
This is why you get policies like breakfast clubs for all children pushed through because parents don't see it as they're responsibility to make a bit of toast
Obviously with this mentality general standards towards oneself and their area drop

>>222755985
I remember thinking more than a tenner was an absolute rip-off
those lads that get their fade constantly topped up must be spending a fortune

>>222755986
more a case of becoming an alchie but sure

>>222755865
>Fiancee cancels wedding
Woman have no romance.

woke up to find my bank balance dropped to £4
i spent £70 on three separate take outs last night and can't even remember eating anything
i also spent £120 on booze (bought everyone in the pub a round)

>>222756000
been going to her for over 2 years now and she always does a great job

When I was working in utilities I was in and out of a lot of peoples homes and it is true that you are more likely to enter a home that is in a shit state if they are white than if they are immigrants. Something to be said about them all being super religious and pushing their children hard for a better life. Seems like many white people have given up and don't care about discipline in the home. Never been in a obvious junky home that was inhabited by immigrants.

>>222756000
*rapes your arse at 999999999999999 miles an hour*

>Woman have no romance
ESL

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>>222755985
I pay 30

>>222756026
based

>>222756029
oh well ok got nothing to say now have i

>>222756026
>take outs
Fuck off Yank

>>222756030
Better get them all in then!

leftypol licking kettle chips

rorke putting beef hula hoops on all his fingers

training ChatGPT on Mousey's posts so we can get at least a version of him back here

>>222755985
Not that expensive these days

>>222756026
>i also spent £120 on booze (bought everyone in the pub a round)
lol what must be no one there for it to be that cheap
around with a few mates is like 40 quid in london these days
>>222756026
ure doing well being up this early when you were that blotto
shame you didnt use the apps might be able to get food refund then

>>222756002
The government is a constantly ballooning behemoth. It actively discourages people from doing literally anything beyond going to work and paying taxes. Look at that barrister fella who cleaned up a river in London with a bunch of volunteers (not one non-white in the pictures by the way, despite being the majority In London) and was subsequently arrested and faces two years in prison. The government consistently shits on anyone who decides to take matters into their own hands, it's like a mega control freak who punishes people for trying to show it up or something. Absolutely bizarre.

When I was working in utilities I was in and out of a lot of peoples homes and it is true that you are more likely to enter a home that is in a shit state if they are immigrants than if they are white . Something to be said about them all being disgusting and pushing their children hard. Seems like many white people have given up and don't care because of the state of the country.

catberg in for a cuddle

if schools provide breakfast then why not have it run until 6 and make them serve dinner too, that way parents can pick them up after work

keeping my goals in mind
*scores a bloomer*

when I was a boy I loved to play the darts
I was bloody good at it. all me mates in the schoolyard used to bring me make shift darts they'd done themselves out of sticks and pins and they'd say "go on show us the darts anon show us the darts you're ever so good"
well it wasn't long before I'd found my way into the big leagues, I was gonna go pro.
Mumsy never approved. she never did say why, but she'd never once shown herself at any of my contests and whenever I'd mention the darts at the luncheon table shed give me the stare like you've never seen and I'd know to shut right up I did.
so there I was, facing the champ, all on me lonesome with none but the men o' the darts cheering me on though they knew me none.
the champ was a bloody legend, to even face him was a dream I'd never thought I'd love to see
and shite but was he good at them darts. see a fly buzzing around the bar at the far end and he'd dart it from the path out front I swear it true.
our test was one for the ages. I gave it me all, threw them darts one after the other like never before hitting me mark nigh every time
but nigh wasn't good enough
the champ landed the last bullseye and won himself the game. wasn't even looking at the board he was. he was looking at me.
"Don't make the mistakes I made son." he says to me. "Choose your mother. Not the darts." and without nary a word he left the pub without so much as a look o'er the shoulder.
From that day on I hated them darts. me own da had chosen the darts over mumsy. he'd chosen them over me, over me brothers and sisters.

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>>222756039

>>222756088
>It actively discourages people from doing literally anything beyond going to work and paying taxes
This is the end goal really, Netflix + deliveroo + homeworking makes for a very subservient easy to govern population

>>222756080
pints were around 3.80 to 4 it was rundown local pub mostly filled with old people. i didn't even know them just offered to pay for everyone's drinks

i think what i must have done is gone into some chinese and some kebab shops ordered food then wondered out to drink and forgot to pick it up

>>222756026
>he isn't living in his overdraft
Imagine having 4 whole pounds. I can't.

reckon ai will save us?

people are talking about me outside the window again

>>222756119
why not make all schools boarding schools that way all children get the same sort of lifestyle for most of their childhoods and real equality is more achievable

>>222756161
stick your nob out the window

WC final tonight

>>222756148
How old are you?

>>222756151
i do have some savings in isa but don't want to touch those

>>222756177
had to crouch down so they couldn't see im naked

Countries need to bring back propaganda but to boost self-respect, tidiness, work ethnic, conscientiousness etc. Just general societal wellness that isn't controversial and benefits everyone

God I hate myself

>>222756152
People thought the internet would. Freedom to search anything and discuss things with people around the world with peers? A new age of unity and understanding!

>>222756197
What's the matter mate?

>>222756197
end it pussy

>>222756193
Can't love your country it scares immigrants

>>222756184
30 and yes i am cretinous little slug of a man

>>222756193
>Just general societal wellness that isn't controversial
Leftypol will find a way to yap about it I'm sure

>>222756193
Those are all right wing dogwhistles hun

>>222756193
Woaaah that sounds like heckin nationalism

>>222756208
Doing all this on a Tuesday night at your advanced age

>doomscrolling instagram on mobile browser
>asian girls, titties, typical stuff in my feed
>accidentally tap repost on some kpop girl crap
>tap again to undo
>doesn't work
>start to panic
>have to install app to undo repost
>fuck this
>immediately deactivate account
>give expletive laden rant in comment box asking reason for deactivation

Fuck instagram. I'm not going to use a site or app where I risk embarrassing myself every time I'm on it.

started predrinking for England vs Mexico

>>222756104
cope

>>222756227
why would you care so much about reposting kpop

>>222756231
...umm

gee gee gee gee baby baby baby