the new as it were edition
hello again, as it were.
Imagine the sex.
Finally had a poo after a week of no bowel movements and stomach crampsThank you to everyone who was with me on this difficult journey, your support was greatly appreciated x
>>225877230Tilde had her baby, team x
breeath as your limits surpass you.
>>225877228she looks like she's definitely a starfish
high t makes you short
>>225877230sickly runts like you tend to die early
>>225877228why did she do this isnt she embarrassed to have her fanny slit so openly on display like this
was looking for goyles but the results were absolutely flooded with a Harry Potter character and google doesn't let you exclude search terms anymore so I had to search for "goyle statue" even though I was hoping to see images of goyles more broadly and not just in statue form so I'm a bit miffed really
>>225877243idk why u sayin ghorrible thingsbut does blow my mind how ill some people seem to be constantly like got a cold or have fucked up insides or doing stinky farts or whateverlike bro u ever tried just not eating like shit and doing a bit of excerise
>>225877243Yeah? Well I'm not going to let this happen again. From here on I will be eating my fruit and veg and having oats every morning x
>>225877252that's ok you tried your best
>>225877230get yourself a big tub of metamucil ladone tablespoon of that in a pint of water every morning, you'll be doing gigantic no-wipe poos within 3 days
need ai to collapse society already
>>225877257er...... God made them in his image actually.......
oh right they're called gargoyles
>>225877257prefacing an agreement with a hollow performative statement doesnt make you a good person
goddamn o'driscolls...
>>225877288oooo Diego you might want to take it back pal
>>225877293stir
Mr. fool gargoyle, ponder pon de poo in this school, cruel mistress.
eating a apple
>>225877293you utter fucking mong. you must be an indian
diarrhoea and constipation are markers of great health. first of all you're absorbing all the nutrients from the poo and second you're expelling all the waste as efficiently as possible. what you want to be doing is oscillating from 1 to the other on a weekly basis. ideally you want it at the same time. one constipated poo plug holding back a waterfall o diarrhoea
>>225877313what kind?
mental how universal credit are like "yeah nigga just be available all day"
Lord please forgive us for the blasphemy unto thine thread
>>225877293im built like this
emma watson would make a great mom :)
>>225877331not like you useless mongs ever have any plans is it
>>225877319oh be nice
Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replayCome, Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin' some more whatCome, Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?Come, Mr. DJ, song pon de replayCome, Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?All the gyal pon the dancefloor wantin' some more whatCome, Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?
there's a fairly big name former pornstar in my area now offering escort servicesvery tempted lads, i would like to be able to say i've fucked a pornstar
>>225877341she's 36 so she would need to be willing to raise an autist or downyI may be willing to bestow one on her if she asks nicely
>>225877326Stop. Digging.
>>225877288your point my bro?>>225877294project on
yanks love this
>>225877361this is a myth. women can have healthy babies right up to menopause. defective genes come from lazy deteriorating sperm
when deegs says project on at you that means you've actually done him and he has nothing to counter it with
>>225877388that's not true
>>225877390hs
>>225877388I may be willing to bestow one on her if she asks nicely
gotta get blackedblacked up the ass, samurai jack
>>225877376you vill eat ze bugs. LOL remember that gimmick klaus scwab haha where is he now
Went to a /brit/ meetup a few years ago and we were all sat at the pub, suddenly Diego walks over to the table and does jazz hands and shouts "Hello, my name's DIEGO!" Obviously we all tried to act like we didn't know him but I think he thought we didn't get the joke cause he just kept doing it over and over again
>>225877400she has already chosen me. we were at a garden party in the summer for a mutual friend. she saw how good i am with kids and it made her wet
Diego's intelligence and guile Employed Woman's wit and brawn Mousey's... attendance The Three Musketeers of /brit/!
ermineequineequidistantecologicalemporiumentryeheehee
>>225877404I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face.
>>225877331take the LCWpill lad, I only check in with my coach every few months lol
>>225877404slander sladner slandersend your adrress my lawyer send cease and desist you awful man im sueing you
>>225877435ok my address is 10 downing street, london
>>225877404>>225877431homealone you want to comment on this pal?
>>225877442sir andy britpost
>>225877435if it's in the written word it's libel not slander you blithering idiot
>>225877365infernal antipodean beast
pretty sure they fixed it now but yeah back in 2012 we would go to the mall and play rap music on speakers in a super market and put menes obe the screen
>>225877462BOOHOOO
>>225877361women's chances of having a spacker baby double by the time they're 40, which sounds scary until you realise it only goes from 0.5% to 1%
>>225877435Lying little scroteYou know I'm right
>>225877493he's done you there 2bfthats twice now in this thread you've been done.
>>225877502where
100% chance of it if it's a yank
>>225877472epic awesomesaice xD
finished my apple
Diego once again proving himself to be an utter halfwit
>>225877519fuck off vagueposting twat
>>225877472umm, epic win much? *eats bacon*
>>225877402World president now
fuck Donald trump and Andy burnham I don’t deserve this shit
>>225877529go four posts back little neophyte
>>225877523bet it was a granny smith to match your attitude you sour cunt
diego applying for an injunction so you can't call him a boring buffoon on 4chan dot org slash int slash brit>the applicant has stated that there is a chance he will self-harm and totally never get a shag EVER if this comes out
>>225877506in this thread
>>225877543what've you bought there then
>>225877561Petrol
>>225877545*squirts venom at you*
>>225877544howl
>>225877556the judge rightfully throwing the case out as he notes diego already has a history of self-harm via alcohol abuse and is already a terminal virgin
>>225877543Cagies are such vile creatures
>>225877566cheeeeeeese
To be with you is easy.I know you are good for me.
>>225877524hs>>225877558where>>225877556LOLno one would say something so clearly untrue tho
>>225877579me on the left
>>225877575Why’s that
have got a pretty long willy, however the girth is average at best. not only will i never be able to satisfy a woman, i'll also constantly poke her cervix in the unlikely event that a foid ever concedes access to her vagina
ok
more handsome everyday
>>225877632need to see on cob
many women like softly a man's ear.
I have a tuna can penis
remember the other day when firefox made an ad where they resurrected all the memes of yesteryear and tried to convince you to start using firefox again?i appreciate the nostalgia trip but i'm now a brave man through and through
>>225877616google anterior fornix + posterior fornix
right i've got a tinder date set up for friday next week, and the pictures i used on my profile were all a few years old before i got fat. i've got a week to lose 20lbs, any suggestions lads?
It’s sad really when you think about it. About 40-60% of all the women my age I see are pretty whereas it’s very rare to see a genuinely attractive man, and by attractive I mean in the face not body
>>225877651Brave is just chromium with ai and crypto slop added
>dude! i was a marine contractor pitcher for the mets and i burger melamine cinvince you im manlyWhy are yanks such queers
can she pass as a local in Birmingham?
Espíritu Santo.
>>225877692Too white
>North Korean hackers stole US$6.3 billion in crypto from binanceI should've asked Claude to do that for me
Patrick Stewart did the gay with Ian McKellen.
>>225877252What's the difference between a goyle and gargoyle?
>>225877685you ok mate you having a stroke or something?
Bought these. 32 now so can't be wearing trainers anymore can I x
>>225877679facially the women aren't p[rettylet's say 80% of young adult women have bodies that are at least agreeable enough to arose youyet almost no men have obviously aesthetic bodiesand then u wonder does that mean tho that women still see the vast majority of men's bodies attractive even tho to us they're not but at the same time that's mega grim for us incelsfacially i'd say men and women are about the same the average face is just the average nothing at allbut as i said the above woman's body is YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>225877702It only works because they live somewhere which will never extradite any other country in the world is handing them over
>>225877716let me guess, you're balding?
>>225877722Shut up vf
>>225877737facts dont care about your feelings
>>225877713yanks fucked all your women and all you could do was have a melty about it
>>225877741Yeah and the fact is you're an ugly virgin Diego
might start wearing a wedding ring to see if it affects my interactions with random women, like george in that one seinfeld episode.i reckon not only does already being claimed by a woman broadcast that you're safe and not an incel to other women, but also all women are natural homewreckers so a lot of them might try to seduce you
>>225877700what about this anglonesian? can she pass as local in Birmingham or London?
Diego is a specky little virgin freak
>>225877745right.... DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHO LOOKS AFTER YOU?
Nigger
mad that diego is the embodiment of ultracrepidarianism
whenever someone beeps at me because I did something wrong I just beep back now idgaf!!!
i understood that reference
>>225877748yes but what i said is also factual>>225877762snap
It is a hard knock life for us.
>>225877761why do thirdies on here literally all make the EXACT same fucking posts its always just "does she look like a local in your cunt" "does this happen in your cunt" you people are all fucking insects
>>225877775your mam looks after me
Likely to murder the gf by the end of the day if she doesn't stop her period whinging
>>225877722hilarious how clueless incels with literally 0 experience have the strongest opinions about women. this is why you're an incel nigga.
>>225877817can't post that these days
>>225877817bLOGoNsNORElORD>>225877819do explain my "strongest opinions about women"what is it that i wrote was so problematic for you
>>225877813Collective groupthink. They are like ants, we are lions. Lions eat ant. Yummers
>>225877842what about antlions
>>225877817what's the matter with you? make her some tea and offer a shoulder to cry on you buffoon
>>225877828i didnt even read it 2bf. i just saw the words women, incel, and some made up % and assumed it was just incel retard nonsense
in haiti, they eat cookies made out of literal dirt
>>225877813/int/ culture, chud
>>225877844Dunno never played half life 2
cockscocks in my arse
leftypol starting a pop up food stall selling vegan Haitian mud cookies
>>225877850lmao at least you admit you're retarded
>>225877859said """culture""" being acting like literal ants in a colony just mindlessly milling about, bumping into each other, not actually thinking or feeling or experiencing anything, just regurgitating tired catchphrases you don't even understand
haiti, alongside zimbabwe, is a perfect example of how the "kill whitey" attitude always backfires horrendously
me an the lads!
>>225877842>>225877844>>225877895Ants
terrorists are just mean people who don't like airports
zesty seal
I got the magic in meEvery time I touch that track it turns into goldEverybody knows I've got the magic in meWhen I hit the floor, the girls come snappin' at meNow everybody wants a blast ofMagic, magic, magicMagic, magic, magicMagic, magic, magicAhooooooo, I got the magic in me
>>225877932pedophile film
>>225877895seethe chud, go back to xitter
>>225877941is that his clitoris
walked into the gym, did my 5x5 bench press, leftI don’t fricking care!
>>225877909groundbreaking analysis from cody dayquarious hernandez over here
>>225877990ya mum
>>225877716They look good lad
mad how diego will claim hes some how uglier than this fella
>>225877979>>>just regurgitating tired catchphrases
might buy some Dune London Tommus Lace Up Trainers, Tan £79 from John Lewis
if you demonstrate any kind of knowledge at all in america, most will assume you have a college degree in whatever you just said or did. it doesn't even occur to yanks that it's possible to learn independently. no yank has ever had an original thought, we're almost as good at being goycattle slaves as the pajeets are
>>225878022I bet none of that is true
>>225878015lmao imagine seething on filipino cockfighting forum because browns shitposting about can x pass as local in x
>>225878014i dont have such a deformed head but he has better features than meand he's much taller
>>225878035hush down now, i'm speaking my truth about my lived experience you see
white people will escape to the moon in 2083
>>225878052let's see, i will be *counts on fingers* 88 years oldheil hitler nigga, heil moon nazis nigga
>>225878062the left still has no answer to this btw
>>225878017they're very smart, aren't they?i might buy some alsothe "cluehaver" shoe
reddit psychos desperately trying to find a relation of Patrick Stewart with each and every subreddit so they can be the first to post about his death somewhere
>>225878041i think you have body dysmorphia
How much do brits pay for beans? Only the cheap store brand is an okay deal here.
>>225878052And will immediately be enslaved by the Chinese who annexed the moon 30 years prior
>>225878040learn to actually speak english before using english speaking websites you diarrhea-skinned chimp
>>225878092see what the "psychologists" dont think about is what if it's truewhat if you are really ugly and is it dysmorphia to be aware of that lmao
At 2:30am I made seventeen burritos
>>225878017>>225878085you're trying to dox me
>>225878132none for me thanks
>>225878119you're losing btw
>>225878132snore on borelord
>>225878142you're chinese btw
*ring ring ring ring**nasally voice*"umm hello mr john lewis i j-j-j-just ordered from Dune London Tommus Lace Up Trainers, Tan £79 but i forgot my name and address could you tell it to me pweease"THIS IS WHAT THE AVERAGE BRIT POSTER IS UP TO
Diego is such a catty bitch
>>225878141>>225878143around 4kg worth of burritos, thanks for asking
aussie vs indo is the undercard i didn't know i needed absolute scenes
>>225878161~MEOW~
just keep getting fatter
>>225878161he wants to be held down and fucked so badly
every time i think i've found the perfect pornfu there's always something that makes her fall just sort of perfection (the kind of girl i could wank to my entire life)>she's a 10 but her chebs are slightly too small, or worse, fake>she's a 10 but her she's got beef curtains>she's a 10 but she talks too much while getting fucked>she's a 10 but she has really stupid tattoos>she's a 10 but she has a bald fanny, or conversely, an unruly jungle 'twixt her legs>she's a 10 but her ringpiece is quite dark and in need of bleaching>she's a 10 but she has hemorrhoids>she's a 10 but she does too much degenerate shit like gangbangs and interracial stuff and all the nice vanilla stuff gets buried under that in the search results>she's a 10 but she visibly and audibly farted during a scene once
>>225878163what are you going to do with them
>>225878163looks like a steaming bowl of SHITE mate (sorry, no offense)
>>225878184i think you should get off the computer
>>225878132Ingredients? How did they taste? What's their destination?
really need to do a kill myself. why can't a lorry driver take it out my hands and have a heart attack and swerve onto the pavement as I walk by
It's weird Trump's about to declare himself president for life soon
i like the south african poster :)
>she's a 10 but she has hemorrhoids
>>225878158blog on snorelord
>>225878214i've had some awful long-lasting Trumps come out of my arse recently
>>225878223was thinking about skye blue when i wrote that
>Tommus Lace Up Trainers, TanGrim dork shoe
cumming all over the inside of the air fryer and turning it on full blast for an hour
>>225878119shan't
Patrick Stewart's wife was 38 years younger than him.Utterly grotesque, old men just need to be Minecrafted bqh
>>225878259>47what a bloody nonce
>>225878259nothing wrong with that. he had a young hot wife that kept his balls empty and looked after him when he was illand she gets all his millions
>>225878215he's not gonna shag you mate
>>225878259wow that's crazy
>>225878278he might shag me though
not to alarm anyone but there is only 11 days left until we can download gta6!!!!!
>>225878259how many adolescent boys do you figure ian mckellen has buggered up the arse with his crusty old wizard cock?
Working up the momentum to do runtoil on my lunch break. I do believe it's possible.
rome was founded because a horde of incels gathered in a hill fort and kidnapped womenincels founded the first european civlization. we need roving bands of men abducting foids
right well that's X showing me videos of girls of a questionable age isn't it
this is who you're being mean to online btw
>>225878319wouldn't you return to toil a smelly bastard with your shirt soaked through with sweat?
>>225878332remember that girl who made an onlyfans literally the exact second she turned 18?
>>225878332i thought rome was founded by furries?
>>225878329squelching
>>225878336RORKE LOOKS LIKE THAT!?!
>>225878333this says far more about you than it does about twitter
>>225878332they weren't incels. they were trojan refugees
>>225878329disapponging
>>225878362does she get her arse out? not bothered about feet
>>2258783381. I am toiling from home so will simply shower upon my return2. There are also showers and a gym at my workplace so I often exercise when I am there
>>225878369Either way they were all young single men
*gently rolls you away*
>>225878369alri virgil
indogs squatting in their crumbling unplastered single room tin shacks posting porn webms on /int/ with their village's sole remaning 2004 thinkpad
>From today, charities can apply to sponsor refugees through new, capped Named Community Sponsorship and Refugee study safe and legal routes.
>>225878204my enthusiasm for pornography has endowed me with a lot of cinematography skills. for example, vixen has probably the best lighting i've ever seen in a studio, however they also have this annoying habit of switching to an extreme closeup shot of the genitals every few seconds and it's really annoying. don't even get me started on pornfidelity, that asshole ryan madison seems to really love zooming on on the mating press position from behind so you really get a good look at both performers' undercarriage. very offputting and a trend i would've preferred stayed in the 90s
>>225878426your brain matter has been reduced to a fine sludge
Captain Tom sex arse finally turned up
im an unemployed virgin freak "nigga"
You'd never squeal like a hog
>>225878426you should be studied nigga
>>225878472no you are notyou're a nice polite young mansit down
want to goon but the window cleaner will b here soon
>>225878465*rips off a smart salute*
>>225878472scktim but not unemployed im a toiler "nigga"
using the ibm thinkpad t43 in the year of ww3 is peak SOVL
oversalted my bloody noodles i have, fuck me dead cunt
I think I'll choose cream over scream if it's all the same to you
>>225878518its not all the same to me
donating my used toilet paper to the poor
>>225877228Emma's stinky log
Diesel is only going to get more expensive right? I should fill up my incelwagon now rather than wait another couple of weeks.Putting this out to all the globalpolitics experts in this thread
>>225878500i watch porn for entertainment, i hardly even wank to it anymore
I haven't washed myself all week
grim state of affairs these
>>225878539just catch the bus until such a time as drumpf pulls his head in
>>225878191cram them into the stomach>>225878197utter jealousy>>22587820742 ingredients, they were good out of the pan and oven the first time, but they taste best after freezing and recooking. I'm also giving them as gifts
ireland's consertino pastorale ii threnody is BANGIN
Drowning myself in nothing
>>225878546bizarre
just want to establish early on that, when the time comes, i will be making the newshould any of you decide to take initiative and beat me to the punch, i have a gypsy waiting on standby to place a horrifying curse on your entire bloodline. you've been warned.
getting my ballsack reupholstered
>>225878557Why would I subject myself to such horrors?
successfully gaining muscle for the first time in my life and looking down at my arms like they're some kind of freak arms
everything is an advert now. even all your posts are probably adverts
>>225878612buy Lurpak butter
I'll do something
>>225878612Im selling protein powder
>>225878606picsand give details of workout diet and how long it tookt. my arms never seem to grow much
>>225878600cheaper, but i suppose if you've got a lot of biomass living in the area it might be grim. the bus that goes by my place is always full of nice old people and pretty girls
Rice and umami matrix scream
a basketball court can fit in a footy penalty box
searched my full legal name in desuarchive and found a single timestamped screenshot of my face during a job interview zoom call in 2022
>>225878649um
>>225878626if you're not growing despite progressive overload in the gym and lifting until fatigue each time, you need to eat more. its that simple
Got my Diego sex arse on the way
>>225878672ive bought a diego sex doll
deeply unfunny thread
>umami>ooh mommysounds a bit sexual doesn't it?
Post man just saw me in nothing but my boxers dancing in the kitchen :/
>>225878672>>225878678these are unlicnsed merchandise>>225878668yeah maybe but i also dont wana get fat
>>225878679what gave you the idea that /brit/ is supposed to be a funny place?
Possible it's the creatine that's making me piss out my arse, or my drug abuse, or poor diet. There's a lot of suspects if we're being honest with each other here which I assume we always are.
last bank holiday of the year lads dont waste it
doing quite the poo
>>225878688that's going in his wank bank
only took 66 years from the wright brothers to the first moon landing
>>225878702wut there's no mor euntil christmaswe had the last one at the end of augustOH WAIT YOURE NOT ENGLISH
don't forget to bend towards the sun
>>225878684think you're saying one of those words wrong
>>225878692thats what /brit/ has always been at its core newfag freak
Police once saw me waterboarding my mate with a kettle and a teatowel back in my carefree student days
>>225878702no it isnt
>>225878708And what of the wrong brothers?
>>225878715not so, i've been here since 2013 and it's always mostly just been pissing and moaning about politicians and pakis
>>225878708just think i could be alive all that time and still never have sex
that little fat mexican nigga from modern family was funny
11:09 and it's already getting dark, sun setting on another sad day
>>225878724In hell together, where they belong
room stinks dont know why
>>225878714no i'm not, perhaps it doesn't translate your effete pasty baby accent
>>225878724died tragically
>>225878733clear blue skies in LONDOn
>>225878738Farting too much need to open the windows
>>225878738you're in it
>>225878728it's a pooing and tranners general first and foremost
>>225878728I have been here since 2013, I don't remember a resident american on here until much later on so you are lying, but yes this place has always been funny
rorke falling asleep at his mothers wake, oh rorke, you know not what you’ve done
>>225878738humidity does that to my room, need to keep it under control with a dehumidifier when its too cold to open the windows
>>225878745Interesting as I saw you sucking a dogs cock last night
How come humans were cave men for like 100,000 years and invented literally nothing of value in all that time?What the fuck were they doing??? Humans, as smart as us, who never learnt anything in their lives, never invented anything.
>>225878754i'm not american, i'm on a yank vpn so i can freely peruse porn sites without having to validate my identity
>>225878764why were YOU at the dog cock sucking club?
>>225878764weird thing to dream about
>>225878740The Japanese う doesn't sound like ooh it sounds like う
>>225878774browsing palaeolithic /brit/
look at this gay nigga
>>225878776fatcam would be rolling in his grave if he was dead
power flows as electricity through bodies and if we don't conduct it it will dissipate and pool in other areas who will then use it to take advantage of our malaise and dissociative condition. AI is an apparatus that is part of a system that takes power from the people and gives it to corporate interests
>>225878802>>225878802>>225878802
>>225878777I work there as a dog
>>225878791fatcam —> dave —> heathernonce
>>225878406Roaring
