>>50271039Yesand really hot
>>50271039Daughter of Touhou LuciferSo she's the antichrist
>>50271103Is that why Shinki is so irresistible?
>>50271039For the last time, Shinki, I don't want to date your daughter.
>>50271039Yes and she is my wife
>>50271039Yes but her sister is cuter
>>50271214She's a slut
>>50271268Not even close. She's an even bigger femcel than Alice.
>>50271328Nobody wants her because they assume she's a bitch and she is!
i need to study but i'm lazy and don't wanna do it
Not necessarily the hottest, but something tells me sex with Alice must be incredible. Something about mentally fucked girls that makes them great in bed for some reason.
>>50271039all makai citizen are undateable
>>50271103I'm not hearing any negatives.>>50271380>Something about mentally fucked girls that makes them great in bed for some reason.True, but they more than likely have some crazy catch that even things out. Question is, what is Alice's?
>>50271485>Question is, what is Alice's?Her love for you and her being able to do most things using her dolls. Her curves too is a plus.
>>50271504Stop abusing the mirroring toolPlease
>>50271485>Question is, what is Alice's?stalking children in the parkhighly accurate dolls of people she knows (and of people she doesn't know)strange and conflicting beliefs about personal spacesecret collection of human skinmakai-gensokyo cultural shockbodily fluids pastriesincontinence
>>50272097>stalking children in the parkOh, how cute! I bet she's studying them in order to become a good mother. I can't wait to put a kid inside her!>highly accurate dolls of people she knows (and of people she doesn't know)Wow, my wife is so talented! I'd call her gifted, but that would be downplaying the thousands of hours of effort she has under her belt.>strange and conflicting beliefs about personal spaceI like surprises! Hot and cold, that's totes moe!>secret collection of human skinHey, she sounds fun to be around at halloween! I wonder if she could use it for cooking as well?>makai-gensokyo cultural shockAww, I get to be her tour guide through life! Maybe I'll get to teach her lots of new things, like consent and potty time. I bet I could learn some things from her, too! We need to celebrate our differences.>bodily fluid pastriesShe's so creative! Going that far for curiosity's sake is a really high-IQ trait, just how big did I score with her? I hope I can help her out with some samples fo my own! How's holy lemonade and strawberry sorbet sound for a hot summer day?>incontinenceThey're happy little accidents! You don't know how peaceful it is, waking up to a warm feeling on my lower body and knowing my beautiful wife relieved herself in her sleep, and that I get to be there for it. For her. I love my wife for who she is.
>>50272489Based, I love your wife too
>>50272489hnng imagine being woken up by the smell of alice pee tickling your nostrils and getting to stroke her hair and tell her there's nothing to be embarrassed about when she wakes up and realizes she did another oopsie. imagine spending a lazy morning together cuddling under those soaked sheets, basking in her precious warmth, ahhhh, i'm going to alice
>>50272631Yes to all of that followed by a nutritious drink made of Alice's sweat
>>50272643hnnng I want to become completely dependent on alice's bodily fluids to survive, to be unable to even ingest anything other than her sweat, tears, blood, spit, piss, puke, vaginal secretions, lymph, stomach acid, cerebrospinal fluid, bile, synovial fluid, amniotic fluid, phlegm, pus, mucus, interstitial fluid and various other liquids or semi-solids. not poop. though, because that's gross and also girls don't poop.
You people are fucking weird, Alice is just a cute autistic girl who's not a people person.If you said this to any of her she'd beat the shit out of you and then bleach her hands.
>>50273067truth nuke
>>50272631>>50272903Fuck... now I'm imagining Alice peeing into a teapot, swirling it around and letting it heat up, the fragrant, hot air rising from it and spreading through the room as it slowly fills with her pee, as it slowly trickles in. When she's done, she comes over to the table, and pours it into the two cups we're going to share tea over. Just the warmth is incredibly erotic somehow. It's her warmth.How the hell did Alice become the designated pissplayhu anyway? Not that I'm complaining, it's god-tier.
>>50272624Built for child making
>>50273189you know, I typed up both of those posts as a joke but the more I dwell on it the more I think it might have awakened something in me because that actually does sound pretty hot>How the hell did Alice become the designated pissplayhu anyway? Not that I'm complaining, it's god-tier."alice pees herself" was a staple of the old /jp/ alice bullying threads, up there with the "everytime you post in this thread, alice gets hit in the head with a shovel" image. good times...
>>50273221Not op but Alice through one way or another gave me a possession and dollification fetish
>>50273067yeah, I bet you would, AliceI would feel more threatened if you told your mum
>>50273351is alice even any stronger than a regular girl? patchouli is proof that being a magician doesn't actually give you any inherent physical advantages besides immortality and not needing to eat, and byakuren seems to be the only muscle wizard around, so her punching you would probably feel like a warm breeze.
>>50271039Your daughter is my paizuri slave, Shinki.
>>50273377acting like you wouldn't get disintegrated in 3 seconds by any spell
>>50273411see, the broad can't help herselfhalf a dozen posts insulting her, and she's already taking off her knickerswhat an easy woman
>>50273415Psh. As if. I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
>>50273499Wouldn't trying to lose your virginity strip you of your power though?A wizard's power comes from his solidarity, not the holy virginity itself.
I wrote a poem for Alice, here it goes.Once upon a time you existed, I don't careSo, you are here, I'd rather be thereI wanna spit on you and mess up your hairI don't want you near, I need you goneI won't wish you well, I'll cause you harmI ruined your face, I ruined your faceI hit it with a bat and blood went all over the placeI ruined your face I ruined your faceI beat it with a bomb and blew up your brainsI ruined your face I ruined your faceOh no, here comes that thingthat makes the noise I want turned offthat's on the same fucking head that I want fucking blown offI hate your head, and I scream that loudIgnoring you and it makes me proudYou used to have such pretty featuresNow you're just a grotesque creatureI ruined your face I ruined your faceI hit it with a bat and blood went all over the placeI ruined your face I ruined your faceI beat it with a shovel and blew up your brains
>>50273415Tch, typical Alice, resorting to death threats the second someone bruises your ego, how insecure can you be? This is why nobody likes you, you know?
Why are all of you so mean to Alice? She hasn't done anything bad, you know.
>>50275921around makai, abunai
>>50275921"Being mean to Alice" is a sacred, time-honored /jp/ institution. Also, there was that one time I stayed at her place and she forced me to have sex with a life-sized doll replica of Marisa while she watched, which I thought was pretty freaky.
>>50273067Oh please, come the fuck on, Alice might be genuinely grossed out by reading all of this, sure, but don't act as if she also wouldn't immediately happily oblige the moment she saw someone being into her. Girls like her all have a switch that turns on the second they find an actual guy that's into them and it makes them throw all their bullshit morals out the window in order to 1- please their man, and 2- finally have an "outlet" with whom to experiment and try all sorts of super kinky shit with that they otherwise would've kept to themselves
>>50276134>it makes them throw all their bullshit morals out the window in order to 1- please their man, and 2- finally have an "outlet" with whom to experiment and try all sorts of super kinky shit with that they otherwise would've kept to themselvesThis is exactly why Alice is the perfect girlfriend, she'll do anything you say, there will be no holding back.
>>50276386And this guy draws the perfect Alice
>>50276386>>50276402Wait my bad I posted the Orz torifune instead of Yugiri picture
sorry I love Shanghai
>>50276414Those are some grabbers, dude.>>50276134Hit the nail on the head with that description. God, I miss her.
>>50276576Then why did you let her thread die?
>>50271039yes nigga desu
For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice. For, Anon, there's only Alice.
I want Alice to feed me by chewing up food and then spitting it into my mouth for me to swallow. For every meal
>>50281277Alice will take care of everything for you! Hungry? Alice will make all of your favorites and even chew them up for you! Want to take a bath? Just let Alice get you all cleaned up! Feeling lonely or sad? You'll never, ever need to feel that way ever again, because Alice will always, ALWAYS be by your side and protect you from anything or anyone that could ever hurt you! Having trouble falling asleep? Alice will cuddle and kiss you and tell you how much she loves you over and over again until you drift off! Of course, Alice will handle all of "those" needs as well~You...want to talk to other people...? How silly! Why would you ever need anyone besides Alice? She loves you so, so very much, and yet you still say such hurtful things! But Alice will forgive you! She always will, no matter what, because that's what it means to love someone! So please, don't talk about things like that anymore! As a compromise, Alice will prepare her most special dolls to play with you! You'll be the best of friends!.......Please don't look at me like that, I'm begging you. I know that this...this isn't what you wanted, but...when I think about you leaving me behind, or...someone else taking you away from me, !...can't control myself anymore. I tried my best, I really, really did, but...when I saw you and Marisa, laughing and joking with each other, looking like you were having so much fun, I realized... that smile you wore then...you had never shown it to me, not even once. ...So please, if you care for me even a little, promise me that you'll never talk to, look at, or think about another woman ever again, you'll never leave this house again, and you'll let me take care of you, okay? I'm not asking for much. am I?You...want to see Marisa...?...............It seems like you still have a hard time understanding what's best for you! That's alright though, that stubbornness of yours is just one of the things Alice loves about you! Still, it seems like you're still quite confused, so don't worry about any of the difficult stuff and just let Alice handle all the thinking for now, alright? She's the girl who loves you the most, so she'll always have your best interests at heart! You just need to focus on having fun and feeling good, and Alice will handle all of the "obstacles" getting in the way of our mutual love! I'm sure you'll come around soon enough!I'm...sure you will.You...you have to.Because if you don't...I'm not sure what I'll do.
>>50281748Is it a bad thing that I would be ok with this?
>>50281748I love Alice!I love yanyan Alice even more!
>>50282062Besides the bird feeding
>>50281748Alice I was high out of my mind when I was was with marisa, that's why I was smiling so widely, I smoked druggy shrooms, I always get to her to buy some shrooms from her, that's all I wanted, I just want to see her to get my shrooms, and get to go back to my house, but that's gonna be a subjet for another time.
>>50282062Not at all. She's offering to let you be with Shanghai; that's worth putting up with Alice.
>>50281748I told you guys to not go on a date with the freak...I told you bro...
>>50282346The funny thing is, Anon and Alice weren't even dating in the first place! They were just friends, or at least that's what Anon thought they were. Alice, though, being the creepy, entitled, socially malajusted weirdo that she is, completely misinterpreted his kindness and friendliness as some sort of courtship, and deluded herself into thinking that he was obviously in love with her and simply too afraid to make the first move! What a silly girl! Of course, Alice herself would never make the first move either, she might just kill herself on the spot if she were rejected, so things remained at a standstill until a third party came into the picture. Marisa would end up meeting Anon after having heard a lot about him from Alice, and the two of them hit it off spectacularly! They got along so famously, in fact, that Alice's Anon-time began rapidly diminishing! "How could that be?" she wondered. "He loves me. I know he does, so why...? Is he playing hard to get? Is this that "tsundere" thing I've read about? Or perhaps...is Marisa doing something to him? I've got to get to the bottom of this!". So, Alice decided to follow and spy on the pair during one of their outings, and discovered the truth of the matter. When he was with Marisa, he would act almost...bashful. His face would often flush when she came near, and he seemed elated to simply be in her presence, constantly smiling a smile brighter than any she had ever seen from him. Of course, Alice could not simply accept reality, as she should have, but chose instead to retreat further into her delusions to cope! "My destined one is being led astray by a wicked witch! I must take it upon myself to help him realize the error of his ways, lest he be lost to me forever!"And so, as her already fraying sanity rapidly dwindled to nothing, she hatched a plan to confine Anon and render him utterly dependent on her, ensuring he could never think of anything but her ever again! How truly pathetic! It'd almost be comical, if it wasn't so pitiable.Oh, and by the way, Anon was actually working up the courage to ask Marisa out when Alice nabbed him! Probably shouldn't tell her that, though or she might really do something drastic!
>>50282066Low test fag, that sounds hot as hell
>>50281748Fuck you Alice, my wife owns a lot of land and is pretty good protecting it so tough luck getting me!
Shimaidon with Alice (big) and Alice (small)!
>>50271039I think she's a cute stepping stone for the purpose of banging her HOT mother!
>>50271039Will she wake up from the coma?
>>50282620Alice's apex predator...
Sorry, who are you? I only know one Alice, and she's my wonderful daughterwife, certainly not an expired old hag like you!
>>50282525Come on, tell us what happened next!!!!!! Right after Anon wakes up at Alice's house. What will Alice do to him and what will Marisa's reaction be?
>>50288639...I've been feeling weirdly...restless, I guess, for the past few days. Can't seem to focus on anything for more than a couple minutes or even sit still without bouncing my leg or something, and none of the stuff that usually calms me down works anymore. I tried to tell myself I was just having an off week, or that the stress was getting to me and I should just try to relax and sleep it off, but I knew that wasn't true....It's because of him. I mean, how dare he!? He comes into my life and makes me feel all weird and then he just disappears? The nerve! ...but honestly, I wasn't actually angry with him at all. I kept wondering, did I scare him off, was it something I said, did he think it was weird when I listed off every species of mushroom growing in the Forest of Magic and described each of their hallucinogenic properties? Oh God he was totally weirded out by that wasn't he. Now that I think about it, whenever we meet up, I just end up rambling about whatever I've been working on recently, barely letting him get a word in, it makes sense he'd get tired of me eventually...Still, I was a bit worried. It'd been almost a week since I'd seen or heard anything from him, and he was just a regular human, not to mention an outsider. I had called in a favor with Reimu so she'd keep an eye on him whenever she could and make sure nothing bad got too close, but I still couldn't help but worry. There was Alice, too, she was pretty friendly with him, so she'd probably step in if he was in danger...wait, that's right! If anyone knows where he's gone off to, it's gotta be Alice, right? She knew him even before I did. Maybe I'll pay her a quick visit. But not 'cause I'm like, super worried about him and really want to see him again, or anything, I'm just...dropping in on a friend.Slowing my broom to a halt as I float down into the clearing, I hop off of it and march up to the front door as quickly as my short stride allows, letting loose a flurry of knocks against it. As her footsteps close in, I could swear I hear her...humming? The door flies open, and out pops Alice, positively beaming with joy.
>>50290361"Good evening, Marisa dearest. To what do I owe the pleasure?". She delivers her sugar-sweet greeting without a hint of irony.I scratch my face, perplexed at what's unfolding before me. "Uh, hi, good to see you too, Alice. I was in the area and there was something I was wondering about that I thought you might be able to help me with, so I figured I'd drop by, but...uh, you certainly seem quite chipper today."She giggles girlishly. "Oh my, was it that obvious? To tell the truth, I've been in an absolutely fabulous mood for a few days, now" she says, her smile somehow becoming even more dazzling."...That so?". Well, as weird as this was, it wasn't what I came here for. "Getting back on topic, I actually wanted to ask if you'd seen Anon around at all recently, We haven't been able to meet up for a few days now, and it'd leave a pretty bad taste in my mouth if something happened to him...". As the words left my mouth, I could swear I saw Alice's face twist into a look of mockery for an instant."Ohh...you don't know, do you? I suppose he never told you? Give me a moment.", she says, before walking back into the house. After a moment, she returns, smile still beaming, and behind her..."Huh?"She giggles again, seemingly amused by my reaction. "Marisa, dear, I'd like to introduce you to my boyfriend and husband-to-be, the love of my life, my darling Anon."For a moment, I can only stare blankly at them, mouth agape in total incomprehension, but my mind eventually regains some sense of clarity. "Wh-but--but that's...I...what?""You really don't have to be so surprised, you know? Isn't it natural for the two of us to end up together? I'm the one who's known him the longest. I'm the one who protected him and stayed by his side when he had no one else, when he was just a lone outsider in a hostile land. Really, it'd be stranger if he hadn't fallen for me, don't you think? Of course, it took him some time to realize it and work up the courage to confess, but he did, and here we are! Isn't that right, darling?", she says, looking over to Anon who, wearing a strained smile, corroborates her story. "A true fairytale romance, isn't it?". Her eyes shine with sadistic glee as they bore into mine. My eyes dart over to Anon, who's pasted-on smile quickly fades as he lowers his gaze to the ground to avoid meeting mine. Alice seems to be annoyed by this little exchange, however."Anon, darling, could you be a dear and check on the stove? I think the stew's about ready." Anon moves to leave, but..."Just one thing, before you go," she says before grabbing him by the collar and bringing his lips to hers in a passionate, drawn out kiss."...!". My eyes widen as I clench my fists hard enough for my nails to dig into my palm....After a while, she finally pulls back and lets him go, and he excuses himself, but before disappearing from view, he gives me one last long, lingering look, heavy with meaning. Shame, fear, guilt are all mixed together, but most of all, I can hear a single unspoken word."Sorry."
>>50290369After waving him off, Alice turns back to me. "So, as you can clearly see, there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Anon is right here by my side, in the safest place he could possibly be, with the only girl that can make him happy. So you can rest easy knowing no harm will ever come to him, I can promise you that!" she says, puffing out her chest with pride."The only girl that can make him happy, huh?....Funny, from where I was standing, he didn't look all that happy to be here."Alice's smile fades for the first time this evening, and she narrows her eyes."...I'd appreciate it if you kept your snide insinuations to yourself, Kirisame. You don't know the first thing about our relationship, so please don't spout such nonsense.""Really? Well, I might not know much about your relationship, but I like to think I know HIM pretty well. Don't you think it's a bit odd that, in all the time we spent together, he never even once alluded to feeling this way about you? In fact, he didn't talk about you much at all. Weird, right?""...! H-He was just too shy to talk about it, that's all! Y-you clearly don't understand how men think! Now, if you're going to keep making these baseless accusations, I'm going to need you to lea—"At her astonishment, I suddenly burst into laughter, holding my stomach. "Oh, man, that's too good! Ah, sorry, your reactions were just so funny, I couldn't help but want to keep teasing you, you know? Guess I took it a bit too far, though. I'm just messing with you, yeah? I really am happy for both of you, you make a great match! And hey, if you've got any questions about his likes and dislikes, I can totally help you out, like I said, I know him pretty well!"Alice is visibly taken aback. "O-Oh, is that so? I apologize for my...outburst. but I'd prefer if you kept the teasing to a minimum in the future, please."I give her a light pat on the shoulder. "Sure, sure, no problem. Anyway, It's getting late, so I really gotta go. Was nice seeing you, and congratulations to both of you!".Alice gives me a quick nod before hurriedly retreating inside and locking the door. Getting back onto my broom, I rise above the clearing, letting the cool night air wash over me. Haah...that was close, a bit longer and I really might have just blasted her away right there. As long as Anon is in that house, though, I can't afford to let myself get carried away like that. I need my actions to be efficient and calculated if I'm to get him out of there. I'll be going up against a real magician, after all, not a half-baked one like me. ...Still, I feel strangely calm, even...happy. Maybe I should thank Alice after all. When I looked into his eyes back there, I finally understood. He needs me, and I need him. It's so simple, and yet it took all this for me to finally see it. This feeling that threatens to make my heart burst from my chest, the cold murderous impulse that overwhelms all rational thought,,. Ahh, this must be love! Oh, Anon, I'll be by your side soon, just you wait.Just you wait....
>>50290381Before anyone says it, yes, I know, mucho texto. I was inspired, okay? Feel free to hide the posts if they bother you.
I enjoy Poshi's Alice doujins.
>>50290400I love you writefag, keep up the good work
>>50290471Thank you! I absolutely will!
>>50290381quite entertaining
>>50290361>>50290369>>50290381Fuck this is really goodDo go on, I wanna see Marisa's wacky rescue mission, anon and Marisa reunited, and anon handling Ariasu the ultimate rejection
>>50290381Good work, anon. I'm looking forward to the next one.
samefag
>>50291201>samefag?If you wanna say you thought it was shit, you can just say so, you know? I don't mind.
>>50291263nice try
>>50291269okay? whatever you say my dude.
Alice is fucking dead!
>>50291310Fuck da haters, give us more
jackalman tsundere
I like to start the day off with a nice mug of Alice saliva. For lunch, I'll enjoy a cup of Alice tit sweat. At dinner, I have a glass of Alice pee, and finally for a nightcap, I'll sample a snifter of Alice pussy juice.
Got hard at the thought of Alice Margatroid birdfeeding me her spit again Award
>>50272489>I wonder if she could use it for cooking as well?no, pig skin is much easier to get ahold of
