Imagine you're a small African warlord from a tiny country in bumfucknowheria that just won a civil war and has nothing left but some rusted out T-54s and a couple of AKs. Soon after winning, a massive reserve of oil and gold has been found and you've been approached by three different men in suits to exchange your resources for weapons.At first you tell them to fuck off but because of your findings the neighboring countries are preparing to invade you. Who will you pick to prevent an invasion? >West: best quality but most expensive, they take the most time to deliver and will let you down when they stop liking you, however the performance of their products keep them on the table. They will train your troops.>Russia: mid quality with mid prices, they deliver fast but will let you down for any reason. They might train your troops. >China: hit or miss quality, the cheapest of them all, deliver the fastest and won't stop selling to you unless you really make them angry. Keep in mind that they will sell to you as much as they're selling to your enemies and won't bother to train your troops but you still remember the soviet doctrine.
I produce a lease for a small military base and station a dozen unlucky Americans there
>>64319345Is this set in the 1960s anon? Russia isn't mid/mid anymore, it's shit quality at high prices. China isn't hit or miss anymore, it's goodenough and dirt cheap prices.
>>64319345The west is the only realistic option. Russian equipment is shit and non-existent now, plus their training is dogshit and the chinks just want to debt trap me. All I have to do to keep the west happy is don't be an overt dictator and sell them oil and gold.
>>64319345you've all but ensured the only solution is to buy a fuckton of chink hardware and then tell them "lolnope" and pivot to the West
>>64319345if i had a long lasting peace i'd go with the russians because their stuff won't break down at the first sign of abuse. however I'll go with china since niggeria is preparing to invade and are probably using the cheapest chink shit anyways.
>>64319355fpbpget american troops on your soil and even if your troops are going to still be mostly incompetent, nobody will be able to invade you without seriously fucking up. your main job will be avoiding letting too much corruption set in so that you can actually use the money you'll make to start making the people happy until they elect you as something more official sounding. you won't be in power forever, but your goal is to be in power and liked well enough for long enough that your children can coast off your reputation as the nation's founder forever.
>>64319390tell that to syria and afghanistan
>>64319409that's why you gotta unfuck the corruption.
>>64319409>syria and afghanistansighnobody ever reads the fucking fine print>letting too much corruption set in
>>64319345The real answer is to have all of my army apply for refugee status, buy a boat and move to the UK
>>64319345hey hey
>>64319345"West" isn't specific enough in this scenario. Are you talking about the west as a whole? Or is it just a single nation with a MIC to supply shit like the US or France?Anyways if this was pre-2022 I probably would've chosen Russia but obviously recent years have shown they shouldn't be relied on for trade or alliances. The best option then would be the West. Chinesium shit hasn't been used in conflicts as much as western or soviet/russian shit so buying it and expecting it to perform well is a pretty big gamble. Modern western equipment should also be leagues better than whatever the neighboring niggers would have so assuming my niggers get proper training and don't act like a bunch of niggers then we'll have them beat in that department.
>>64319456people
>>64319345If I had been unlucky to be it a f*ancophone shithole, I would naturally pick F*ench. They have history of arming everybody if you can pay in Franks/Euro. Not absurdly overpowered but it still would wipe the floor with PACT/East weapon-like products.Otherwise, I'll ask the kikes, they have even less of moral skeleton.
>>64319345Get Russian RPGs and PKMs, Chinese drones, thermals, and optics, French surplus vehicles, and US M4s.Hire US vets as civilian contractors to train your guys with the M4s, throw in a couple of French guys who have more African-related experience, and can translate if your guys speak French better than they can speak English.Promise each country a share of the oil and gold. If one country starts to acts funny, tell the others to get them back in line.As far as aircraft like planes and helicopters, I'm not really sure, to be quite honest.
If I can't get somehow get America to build a military base and intervene, then>>64319373I like this answer, completely sell the country to China. Sign away the land and resource rights and ports and take on massive Chinese debt as long as they send fuckloads of weapons and build the infrastructure to exploit the resources for me.Then stage a coup and have your brother take over and nationalize it and expel the foreigners like a 19th century South American revolutionary about to get invaded by the United States. Except than China likely won't do shit to invade a country continents away in bumfucknowheria that stole pennies from them.Then lease the Chinese-built infrastructure to American companies that can actually operate it and buy any further weapons from France. (The leases will be very imbalanced and the weapons will be bought in cash only because my credit rating is now negative, I don't care.)
>>64319355/thread
>>64319345I use some of the money to bribe the leaders of neighboring nations. This buys me time. Next, I hire a Western PR firm to fix my international image. I will go to the UN and make speeches about self-determination and new era of democracy. I announce that I will step back from power after a transition period to democracy. This way, I secure the backing of powerful Western nations, which will deter my neighbors from invading. Next, I will pick a suitable stooge to serve as my puppet "replacement" and set up a political party. I will subtly manipulate the press, elections body, education so that my party will get a guaranteed win in the first ever elections. I use some of the money left to bribe voters too. After winning the democratic elections, I announce I am stepping down as dictator for life. People will cry and wail in protest. They love me. So, the newly elected Prime Minister proposes to make me the Constitutional President, merely a figurehead role. And the people love it. I then live my life in luxury while any blame goes to the PM.
>>64319345I would convince them to destroy Albania
>>64319513Sseth here
>>64321490Reminder that that dude straight up steals content from forums and other content creators and tries to pass it off as his own, a particularly shameful Youtuber to venerate, though you'd be a fag for fanboying any of them.
>>64322783how so ?
>>64319437You control the entire country. Just sell it to the UK as a colony in exchange for citizenship for you and your family.
>>64322783>>64323821I think Anon is just very worried, that some forum poster from 2004, who has since probably died from a fentanyl overdose in a diaper furry convention in Seattle, didn't get the recognition he deserves. Or he migth be just salty, because Sseth uses no-no words Reddit doesn't like. It's a mystery.
>>64322783When Sseth shows me funny shit I think 'wow, this terminally online jester really trawled the internet for my amusement and the memes he found greatly amuse me'.I don't think 'he really photographed and drew that and put caption text on it???' because nobody would think that unless they were a fucking moron.Someday you might post something of value - please understand you do this without getting any karma points or 0.1 scamcoins or even attribution, this is the entire point of the place you chose to post on.
>>64319345>and you've been approached by three different men in funny hats to exchange your resources for weapons.
