>>64463536
Yeah

like a bag of sand

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>>64463536
Have not killed anyone, but I've heard that if it's while you're high on adrenaline (IE in combat) it doesn't scar you at all, or so I have heard

Go ask /meg/

>>64463536
I'm gonna be honest dawg. It's nothing special. I think I felt more conflicted when I had to put down my dog.

Sauce: trust me. I'm basically Walmart John Wick.
It can feel euphoric. Like
>that motherfucker was trying to kill me but I killed him instead. fuck yeah! I get to go on living! I'm gonna go home and blast buckets of cum into my dependapotamus!
at other times it's a little more somber like
>damn. I wish you didn't do that you moron.
and sometimes you feel absolutely nothing. we're all gonna die. it's nothing special. If I make it through this I'll probably end up dying in a car accident, or suicide, or I'll end up dying in a nursing home after getting strangled by some brown mutt for calling him a word the mods don't like

>>64463553
habibula?

>>64463536
Literally nothing. The guy was 250m away, I dumped a couple of mags into his position and only ever saw a motionless dust-covered lump. Being mortared was way more distressing and I still get nightmares about it.

>>64463536
Yeah. It was a bar fight, he was trying to drag my gf onto the dance floor and picked a fight when I told him to fuck off. I'd never admit this in public but it felt good. Soon replaced by bowel-shitting terror when I realized I might have fucked my life but it was alright, my gf covered for me and I wasn't prosecuted. I've never regretted it, frankly the only time I think about it is when I see a thread like this or when I'm around a lot of blood and the smell brings things back.

>>64463553
Makes sense your brain would have some sort of mechanism to discourage cold blooded unjustified murder but still allow killing in war and self defense without it turning you into a wreck for the rest of your life. Obviously it's not perfect as shellshock/ptsd exists but still.

>>64463791
>Obviously it's not perfect as shellshock/ptsd exists but still.
Perfect is bad in evolution. The ptsd is part of the regulation mechanism.

Stochastic mechanisms work better in real world use because a 90% success rate when a behaviour works is also a 10% success rate when it doesn't.
A 100% success rate becomes 0% when the environment changes (or you just didn't think of something).

t. AI researcher

>>64463536
I killed a guy in college that broke into my apartment with a baseball bat, realizing oh he's not moving anymore honestly freaked me out more than the actual breaking and entering

>>64463536
weird, for the most part they just kind of slumped over. expected more and instead the person just goes kind of empty. only one i think about often was this one haj that must have got hit with half a mag. he was just laying there making this bubbling hissing gurgling, blowing pink foam out of his mouth, eyes wide and watching us. remembered enough pashto to just say 'sorry' and shot him again. more sticks with me because it's the same way my stepsister was gurgling on life support after an OD

>>64463536
>If so, why and what does it feel like?
Bruh, that depends about who you kill, in what context and who you are as a person.

>>64463791
>>64463810
It's also probably a good thing to have a degree of aversion to even justified killing, if you want to talk pure evolutionary carrot and stick stuff. It's better for the species at large if people still want to try and de-escalate and avoid things getting that far.

>>64463536
i was in a self defense situation with a bum. he accosted me outside a bar while i was having a smoke and demanded money. normally i'd give dude a few bucks but he was demanding and rude so i told him to fuck off. dude shoved me so i punched him. he fell back and cracked his skull on a curb. the cops and ambulance was there rather quick. he died en route to the hospital. i wasn't charged due to all the cameras and witnesses who observed dude putting hands on me first. how do i feel about it??? i didn't find out until later that dude died and i don't feel anything about it. it's just something unfortunate that happened. i didn't intend for it to happen but you chance that stuff when you come at someone violently.

>>64463536
no, but i hurt a guy's feelings once.

>>64464735
>It's better for the species at large if people still want to try and de-escalate and avoid things getting that far.
Yes.
Absolutes are inflexible and dangerous, rules must be flexible or sometimes broken, including moral rules...if your goal is survival of the species/society/culture anyway.

I read an idea recently that the ideal long-term civilisation is one with vague laws that can be easily interpreted to the needs of the moment ruled by principle-less sociopaths who can justify any crime they commit, so as to always be able to take the optimal decision in all situations, unconstrained by cultural limitations.
If you have any consistent and coherent answer to the trolley problem then a scenario can be designed where you're forced to make the wrong decision for moral reasons.
Or at least you get to feel guilty about doing the right thing.

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Do folks every wonder if the guy at the other end of the field regrets having to kill strangers they'd never otherwise meet on their government's orders?

>>64464272
you shouldn't really go around admitting to war crimes, not that i care, but someone might some day

>>64465450
I can't imagine that a mercy kill on a mortally wounded enemy would lead to a prosecution, though it could besmirch you a little and cause some inconvenience.

>>64463677
>Being mortared was way more distressing
The noise from mortars and drones is like looming, inevitable death.
>>64463575
>I felt more conflicted when I had to put down my dog.
If you felt conflicted it means you did it at the right time. Letting it live on through the pain of old age is cruel.

>>64465481
Mercy kill in cauckistan will get you kicked out of the military and demoted.

https://decisia.jmc-cmj.forces.gc.ca/jmc-cmj/cm/en/item/98700/index.do?q=Disgraceful

>>64465418
>easily interpreted to the needs of the moment ruled by principle-less sociopaths who can justify any crime they commit, so as to always be able to take the optimal decision in all situations, unconstrained by cultural limitations.
I don't think you understand what sociopaths are. They have no interest in the "optimal decision" unless it benefits them. Hence western elites importing millions of thirdies so their property values don't tank before they retire. Societies crumble when they lose their principles, or never had them to begin with. Because why preserve something that has no identity in the first place?

>>64465621
>I don't think you understand what sociopaths are
I do, it's a somewhat flippant proposal but it remains true that flexibility is essential, so no rule should be absolutely unbreakable and no indiscretion absolutely unpunished.

>>64465616
This is just bizarre. Sounds like a trial for a police officer, not a soldier.

>>64464579
elaborate

>>64465632
So what happens when what benefits the sociopath is at odds with the state?

E X O N E R A T E D
X
O
N
E
R
A
T
E
D

>>64464780
You menace

>>64463536
Pulled the plug on a relative who was brain dead, personally turned off the several machines. Idk, what're you going to do when you don't recover?

>>64465886
You made the right call anon. I hope that someone would do the same for me

>>64465888
I'm a pilot so I only learned about people I've killed during BDA. Feels normal.

>>64463536
First person was when I was 15.
>dad died when I was 12
>man of the house
>live in the middle of buttfuck kansas
>dogs are going fucking nuts
>grab rossi 20/22lr I got for the last birthday my dad was alive
>find me methheads trying to which up craftsman riding lawnmower
>tell them to stop
>one meth head wants to run, other starts to threaten me
>walks towards me and tells me he's going to shove that toy up my ass
>starts walking up the porch
>20ga buckshot to the face
>very closed casket funeral
>other methhead takes off running into the woods
>had the terrible misfortune of running into my neighbors property
>Mr Sinclair is a Veitnam MACVSOG OG who is drinking and hunting buddies with my Korean War vet uncle
>mom calls the cops and all the neighbors
>entire 5 radius is ACTIVATED
>police show up 45 minutes later
>5 minutes later Mr Sinclair shows up with a Mini 14, pickup truck, VERY HAPPY hunting dogs and other meth head with some bite marks
>get no charges because other meth head outright admits his friend tried to take my gun
>still lots of nightmares about missing, dud ammo
Funny enough a cousin of his went to my high school, nice girl and I was worried she'd hate me but besides being sad her cousin died she told me he was a dumbass, even his mom and dad weren't angry and I felt terrible talking to them.
I've got more stories.

>>64464090
I think I remember that story, didn't you post some after action pics?

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>>64465981
>I've got more stories
You've killed more meth heads anon?

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>>64463536
>please lie to me, a.k.a. the glownigger data mining post
Sneed

>>64465639
>So what happens when what benefits the sociopath is at odds with the state?
You give a different sociopath permission to break some rules that protect the first sociopath.

>>64466615
It's just sociopaths all the way down

>>64464756
The sidewalk and curb are dangerous man. And I imagine it can’t feel too good (usually) for the guy who throws the punch. What if I just intend to punch you? If I knew beforehand that my punch would cause your death, I wouldn’t do it.

>>64463762
Did you fist fight and accidentally kill him? Or did you shoot him? Or something else?

>>64463791
100% if you zoom into someone’s brain you will find two distinct friend and enemy compartments, and labeled as such. Serial killers notwithstanding, nobody can countenance cold-blooded murder of the innocent, but also most wouldn’t lose too much sleep over rightfully killing an aggressive/threatening guy in self-defense, as the responses ITT seem to corroborate.

>>64465981
MOAR!!!!

>>64465886
Is that what pulling the plug means? A family member has to literally unplug the machines?

CAPTCHA: YWSAD

>>64467419
Kind of, pulling the plug is a euphemism for turning off life support, usually in the context of brain death.

>>64463536
Ive run over some drunk faggot who passed out on the middle of the road at 1am. Does it count?

I have over 300 confirmed kills on Al Quaeda AMA

I deployed to Afghanistan as an infantryman, I never killed anymore, but I did see a lot of dead people. I was 19 at the time, I do remember the first time we encountered a bunch of taliban than just got roasted by a Reaper, that others in my squad look visibly sick from the sight of them. I think from years of lurking gore threads on /b/ prior, that I was desensitized. It didn't phase me

>>64468410
When was this?

>>64468542
2011-2012

>>64467286
>Did you fist fight and accidentally kill him? Or did you shoot him? Or something else?
Glassed him

>>64467419
You'd turn them off by pressing a button rather than unplugging them at the wall, and even then that would usually be a nurse's job once we've got the okay from the family. I've only had one case where a family member did it personally and that was only because they specifically asked to do so.

>>64466900
>It's just sociopaths all the way down
The idea is to balance the sociopaths.
They don't get along, a two tigers on one mountain thing. So they don't usually team up very successfully and normal people can exploit that to manage them.

>>64467286
>The sidewalk and curb are dangerous man
A mate of mine killed someone by punching them and they fell down and hit their head on the curb.
He left the country and never went back.
Apparently not wanted because it was more or less self-defence but he was a petty crook and didn't trust the cops not to find a way to pin it on him so he got the next flight out and cut all ties.

>>64463762
This is called mate guarding

>>64470780
Bravo. Using the correct verbiage as well. Anon’s mating rights were being challenged, and this zero-sum dispute was resolved with violence.

>>64463536
Putting down my dog felt bad but it was necessary so you just get it done. I imagine killing an enemy combatant must feel like that but with the love removed.

>>64470780
>>64472515
>mate guarding
Is this a legal term or just something understood on a primal level?

>>64466079
>the only action i ever got was on the end of my own right arm
I guess the trillions of sperm you've killed amount to something, right?

>>64472659
Primal. It would be sick if the law recognized it, so nobody finds themselves in between a rock and a hard place where someone is either trying to punk you in front of your girl or trying to fuck her, and on the other side there is the law saying you can’t use violence to resolve this. I think this is the purpose marriage used to serve desu. It exists within a religious framework now, but even if religion didn’t exist, I think we’d still invent marriage - an official codification of mating rights and the legal acknowledgement of your wife as your property, thus justifying the use of violence to protect it.

>>64463536
In combat you just open fire on the enemy position. Most of the time you're too far to see if you've hit anything, and if bodies are later found it's often impossible to know whose bullet did it.

>>64463536
My only words on this are don't. There is a lot of larping in this thread but as someone wise said to me 'You chose to be there". It catches up on you as you age and get wiser and you realise what you have done. Listen to me. Don't. That is all.

>>64472739
That's exactly what I tell people who push me on it and won't shut the fuck up. No one wants to talk about this OP, don't pull this shit IRL either.

unsettling.
my story isn't very /k/. Dude grabbed a female friend and i made his head meet a mail box (the big standing kind) a few times.
I'm not a huge guy or anything but junkie pos grabbing a woman set me off, smashed him a few times his brain was leaking last hit. Then I grabbed her and we ran.
I don't think she understood what happened.
I wasn't thinking just mad, it was quick. Also in a big city, not even next day police blotter had anything about it.
Emotionally mixed feelings, but I'm over it just posting since well I probably did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCGpqF_XB60

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ6A9c_RFYI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gmgwx77osw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVE5d2PLWP0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9Kf0HTFNho

>>64463536
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkvQZSpl6Io

>>64472759
I joined at 18 because I was failing at school. In my thirties now, I have zero qualifications beside being military. I wish I could get a civilian job but I don't want to go through college and have to climb the bottom rungs of the ladder at my age.

>>64472825
Do. At 30 you are in your prime for structured learning, young enough to not stand out too much and old enough to command respect from younger students who view you as "an adult". I went back to academia in my 30s to finish my degree and it was the best school time of my life. At 40s it'll be harder and you'll feel like you do now but also kicking yourself for not doing it sooner. The best time to plant a tree was 15 years ago.

>>64463536
Fuck you.

>>64472825
I was 19 too. Try and let go of it. You can't change the past only forget it.

>>64472843
Shut the fuck up you stupid bastand, there is nothing great about having killed someone or trying to be a voyeur on those unfortunate enough to have that burden on them

>>64472759
ESL retard. There's a lot of people alive today who wouldn't be if they listened to emotional appeals like this.

>>64472868
I was talking about going back to school, Anon. I think school is pretty great.

>>64472885
Fair enough, time I left this cancerous thread anyway and went to Church for Mass.

>>64472885
we live in a world where you need paper for stuff.
Not that anyone will take my word, but I hold a PhD, I love school it's a fucked system too.

Now I make 210k looking at numbers and to me it's easy work.

Always better yourself, no matter be it college, tech school, tricks with friends etc. Life is good anon.

>>64472874
I hope you grow up to be more than the driveling shit you are today. ESL? Be a stupid bastard just leave old soldiers the fuck alone with your corpse sniffing bullshit. I hold to Just War. It just hardly ever occurs the fact is like me those who made bad decisions did it because we put ourselves there because when you are young you tend also to be dumb not because it was or was not just and all those who pontificate justifying what we did are not there at 4AM with us because they are fast and happily asleep.

>>64463536
Honestly? It feels like two bags of sand.

>>64465981
>still lots of nightmares about missing, dud ammo
This. the only thing you're disturbed by is the possibility of failing to make the kill, not the consequences

>>64472843
>>64472860
Thanks anons, it's good to hear it's not too late

>>64472972
Honestly, I prefer colleagues that served over those that have 10/20 years of experience only knowing the comfort of an office. Civilians in offices are assholes, always. And if you don't believe me, look up Joshua Fluke on YouTube to get a taste of it.

So either learn a trade or keep doing what you do, because office work feels like dying.

>>64463536
>If so, why
Initiation ritual.
>and what does it feel like?
A relief, thought it would be much harder.

>>64472898
> Now I make 210k
> Life is good anon
No shit cunt

>>64465438
Sure, now fire the artillery, I like the sound it makes

>>64472799
All junkies deserve this fate

>>64473019
>office work feels like dying
No joke. The only reason I stay at my job is for the money so I can keep my family comfortable. Its like prison

>>64472825
Go study now while you're not quite too old to pick up college girls.
Every knows the GI bill, it's not weird to be there and you'll get more interesting work later.

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>>64463536
Never killed anyone because the closest I got to it I pussed out but it actually worked in my favor. I fired a warning shot off at a car chasing another family member's car up the driveway but it did make me realize how easy and thrilling it'd be to actually do it.

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>>64463553
I would love to see tucker carlson interview this kid on how he feels

>>64465981
>grab a 22lr
>shot that guy with a 20ga
huh?

Personally, no. Close enough on the kill chain that I take real responsibility, yes. I was an intel guy doing counter terrorist targeting, so it was my personal contribution and not super diffused like if I was in logistics/ammo guy/etc. In the moment it feels awesome, objective completed, after a little time to reflect it felt pretty weird. Ultimately I made peace with it pretty fast and it never bothered me much, some people gotta go and these people were that kind.

>>64472825
GI bill is awesome, go to any university with a decent veteran's club/student org/presence and you won't be out of place at all. I went in my mid-late 20s but we had dudes in their 30s/40s who were totally accepted in the community. Even an entry level job in a good field (tech, engineering, etc.) pays more than enlisted pay and most blue collar.

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>>64474409

>>64474469
It's not the same thing but it's not nothing. It just is what it is.

>>64474475
Just a bit of banter, my man

>>64474469
faggot
>>64474409
cool guy

>>64465481
It's called "canoeing" and it's a valued American tradition