>>64472178
I had an ex who liked me to shove a loaded pistol down her mouth when we fucked.

>>64472178
Loading a magazine with each bullet opposite direction of one another because she thought they acted like batteries and that's exactly how they are inserted in her TV remote.

>>64472241
Ngl that's hot as fuck.

>>64472178
shoot themselves in the head with it over a woman

>>64472534
You saw it happen in person?

>>64472551
Yes. He wasn't aware I was home and I saw him through my bedroom window do it in the shed with the 12 gauge. 20 years later and I'm still pissed he did it. I was 7 at the time

>>64472557
Oh. Your father?
Regardless that's really sad

>>64472178
One time me and a friend chased each other around the house with two bolt action rifle dry firing them at each other and yelling "BANG YOUR DEAD" every time we pulled the trigger.

>>64472178
not use it

>>64474139
better to have it and not use it than to use it and not have it

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>>64472178
When I was a cop a BF officer got called to an accident where a deer was hot. She couldn’t shoot it so she gave her gun to some bystander dude (with a crowd).

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> Go to shooting range with my dad.
> I have never fired a gun before.
> Dad brings his grandfather's 22 lr Remington rifle (it has a tube that you take out, drop 5 rounds into, and then screw back in).
> Day going well. Plinking away with muh dad-o.
> Running out of ammo. Dad walks out on the range to collect our targets.
> I start reloading the gun while he is out there. Not sure if we are going to shoot more or not.
> Dad walks back and declares he's ready to leave if I am.
> Okaycooltodaywasfun.jpg
> Start picking up our spent shell casings.
> Dad picks up the gun at the ground.
> BANG
> Fires a shot 1' away from my foot, making me jump and creating a small crater in the concrete we were standing on.
>"GOD, DAD!" I shout in bewilderment and anger.
> Dad looks dumbfounded, "Uh... sorry. I wanted to check if it was loaded...."

My father was in the Navy out of high-school. He literally received gun training classes. But, for some reason, he had a senior moment and thought that the best way to check to see if the gun was loaded or not was to pull the trigger.

Not how I wanted my first shoot to go, but hey, it was memorable.

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>>64474488
>accident where a deer was hot.
You guys are just never going to beat those accusations?

>>64472241
I hooked up with a broad on tinder years ago who wanted me to hold a gun to her head and act like I was raping her. I wasn't really cool with it but she was insanely hot so I went along.
She ended up throwing up all over me and the gun as she was riding me. The gun got covered in vomit and I got so mad I set it down and kicked her out before I cleaned off and fell asleep. By the time I remembered about the gun the vomit had made a damascus like pattern and honestly looks kinda cool. I still can't look at it without cringing though.

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>>64472178
One of the few times I was at an indoor gun range, I had someone (who was part of a group of 4 others) for a good while not knowing they had a loaded shotgun right at my stomach while they were talking to the others, and I just thought:
>Fuck this is how it ends, I'm gonna end up in some fucked up CCTV footage on reddit
They left before I did so they got away with that shit

>>64475164
Show us the vomit gun, lover boy.

>>64472178
>Be me
>Back home years ago
>Could shoot at the house I lived in at the time as long as I didn't go overboard
>Decide to go to indoor range instead because it had been raining for the last week straight
>It's in the basement of a converted house that was turned into a gun shop
>You literally attached your target to a coat hangar and then hung it from a clothes line pulley system
>Supporting beams are right in the middle of one of the lanes
>No ventilation
>Pretty sure 75% of the air was just lead particles
>Boomer with a prosthetic arm runs the place
>Walk in and see nog couple standing at the counter to rent handguns
>Prosthetic arm dude gives the guy a P226
>Hands the sheboon a Model 10
>Sheboon instantly points the revolver at the guy's chest and starts dry-firing as rapidly as possible
>I am equal parts annoyed and amazed she can do this without breaking her 3" acrylic nails
>He lets them go downstairs to shoot anyway
>Desire to shoot outweighs common sense
>Pay my fee and head down after them
>They've taken the far left lane
>I head to the far right
>Get set up as they're still trying to figure out how to load the 226 mag
>Somewhere through my second mag I hear them both magdump their rented guns
>They're crammed into one lane firing at the same target at the same time
>Every other lane is open except the one I am using
>Stop what I am doing and stare in bewilderment
>They've both magdumped this target and I see two, maybe three hits
>Fire another couple of magazines while they get reloaded
>They start unloading again
>Suddenly feel slight burning sensation on cheek
>Reach up and rub finger across the spot
>There is a tiny smear of blood
>Best guess is that they've hit the wall/floor and I somehow ended up being scratched by a piece of copper jacket
>Pack my shit up at lightning speed
>Leave
>Never went back there

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>>64472178
"The two loudest sounds in the history of the world, are a click when you expect a bang, and a bang when you expect a click."

>About 10 years ago when I was a cop, we had a pistol qualification. Back at the station that night about 10 of us were in the briefing room cleaning our guns. This guy named Mike walked in, upholstered his GLOCK, and immediately shot himself in the hand. The bullet hit the floor and ricochetted up. Two of us were leaning against the wall and it hit right between us. Mike didn't realize his gun was still loaded when he pulled the trigger to disassemble it. I've been around guns my entire life and that was the the loudest bang I've ever experienced. Luckily for Mike, the bullet went through the web of his hand and didn't cause serious damage. He bled a lot and we got it under control immediately. There was a safety briefing the next morning.

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>>64474488
>When I was a cop a BF officer got called to an accident where a deer was hot
>where a deer was hot

>>64474148
How can you use it if you don't have it?

>>64475022
>>64476102
Sorry for your troubles but yeah good lessons learned there.

>>64476722
clearly you don't get it

>>64474122
How old were you both?

>>64472241
>>64472255
Also hot is the idea of chicks using the handle of a sword like a dildo

>>64472178
Hand a .500 to someone who'd never shot a gun before.

It's a shame there were no camera phones back in those days. It went exactly like all those funny range videos. The scar on their forehead is visible to this day.

I've greentexed it multiple times, but while at a public outdoor range, witnessed 3 boomers roll up with various WW2 Milsurp rifles and a bucket of loose rounds, thinking the rifles all took the same ammunition. I intervened before they got them loaded, offering to show them what things were. The guns belonged to their recently deceased father and they were all three noguns for life so I'm glad I spoke up. Wish I would've offered to buy at least one or two of them but I was permanently broke at the time.

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>>64476808

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>Marine Corps
>Sunday afternoon weapons cleaning before guard mount.
>Look over and notice a guy scrubbing an M-16 with a green scrub pad
>rifle is turning silver
>nobody says anything. rifle goes back in the cage with its parkerization scrubbed off

I was at a WMA range with my dad and father in law. There were some Mexicans next to us with two M&P pistols, dual wielding, acting like idiots. The range went Cold, the guy in the berth next to them went to set up targets, they started mag dumping like 6’ away from where he was standing, I was yelling at them to stop, eventually some guy yelled in Spanish at them and they looked around, and fucked off within a few mins.

90's security guard job
>San Bernardino shithole fairgrounds
>nighttime
>after midnight closing. we need to clear the parking lots of people
>watch a negro security officer point his firearm and threaten a guy on a bicycle
>watch same negro security officer stand in front of a car and draw his firearm because the driver started the engine

>>64477222
Clean is clean

>>64477267
>>64477222
My mother in law did this with my cast iron. She scrubbed that thing until it looked like it was chrome

Test

>>64472178
Tried to practice shooting while moving, accidentally ran over a wet patch on the ground and slipped, falling onto my P1. I was *this* close to sending a round of 9mm through my sternum and likely my skull. I'm glad I had the reflex to immediately reddit finger as soon as I slipped. On a separate occasion I was trying to shoot with my pinky death the kid style and got a slide to the hand

>>64476702
> bang when you expect a click
That’s the fuckin truth. My stupidest gun incident was an ND about a year ago.
>wife working late
>have a few beers but not drunk
>watching band of brothers so grabbed my AR to finger fuck
>do some dry fire for shits and giggles
>click click click, no problem, good times
>grab a loaded mag and practice shouldering it for as long as I can
>set rifle down and check on dinner cooking
>return to movie, grab rifle, rack the slide, aim at wall
>BOOM
>loudest thing I ever experienced
>dazed and confused, smoke alarms go off and I can’t hear myself talk
To this day I get anxiety thinking about the people I could have hurt. I sent a green tip 5.56 through the wall(went outside, not into a shared wall). No idea where it ended up because most of the buildings have scuffed stucco exterior. Told my wife what happened immediately when she got home and she went into full on ride or die defense mode. Ran out and bought me a patch kit for the whole in the wall and started making plans on denying everything if it came to that. Pretty sure she’d bury a body if we had to.Love that woman. Don’t ND guys, I promise it’s not fun.

>>64477375
Best story. Well told.

>>64477375
Damn, dog, you got a real one. Good for you, glad you didn't accidentally someone's Oma.

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>>64472178
i might have told this one before, but i almost saw someone get shot by a dog
>guy has rottweiler at range
>shit's weird but whatever
>apparently he's trying to get the dog used to gunfire
>dog seems to be having a good time
>end up talking about hunting when range is cold
>he's loading magazines while we talk
>guy talks about dog fetching anything that's slightly like wood
>shows me a bite mark on the wood grip of his 1911
>whythefuck.png
>'oh yeah he loves anything made of wood- watch'
>he sets the gun on the ground
>ohshitSTALKERwhatareyoudoing.jpg
>dog goes after the gun like bacon
>picks up the gun and starts thrashing their head around
>i realize something
>this retard was loading 1911 mags
>did this retard load a new mag before putting the gun down?
>the dog experiences a natural part of gun ownership, skimming a third party's boot
>this of course is the most exciting thing a toy in this fucker's mouth has ever done
>the dog takes off running down range with the gun
>followed by it's owner and three retards
>mfw
i'm not sure if the gun didn't cycle properly, but the dog didn't manage to get a second shot off. it took them ten minutes to get the dog to drop the gun.

>>64477411
Thanks, it was a ROUGH few weeks after . Didnt sleep right for days just waiting for a cop car to pull up. Only funny part was I hit exactly what I was aiming at. Along my wall was some Xmas lights and the round literally nailed the light the size of my pinky nail .
>>64477425
There’s a reason I married her. She can drive me crazy sometimes but when shit gets real she doesn’t blink for a second. She almost snapped a waitress on half for accidentally dropping a drink in my lap.

>>64474488
That's retarded but
>she
Doesn't surprise me

>>64476808
Nah I imagine myself in the position of the girl in >>64472241's post

>>64472534
>Lol

my ex flagged the range with a semi 22lr

i accidentally witnessed it. no one else saw it

>>64472178
>What's the most stupid thing you have seen someone do with a weapon irl?
My neighbor "John" was a wild one, functioning alcoholic with way too much money for his own good, and he loved everything involving fire and/or explosions. He was my dad's best friend at the time.
>be me, 13 years old
>new years eve 99/00
>Live in upper middle-class suburb, packed to the brim with 30-40-someting year old couples with kids
>HUGE fucking celebration, everyone is super hyped for the new millennium
I can not understate the shear level of hype here. There were multiple party songs written specifically about this night.
>Fireworks galore, even the people who don't usually buy this shit have pulled out all the stops
>Everyone is hanging out a John's house
>Fucktons of fireworks, fucktons free food for everyone, full-on buffet of free booze, drunk chicks with their tits out, etc
>Shit is hella cash
>Everyone is fucking plastered, including blatantly underage party attendants like me
>John's (drunk as fuck) 15-16YO sons are lighting off a mountain of fireworks in the backyard
>John decides to contribute to the noise by firing off some blanks with an antique 70-ish caliber flintlock musket from the 30-years war
>John is too drunk to know what he's doing, he keeps trying, forgetting, and trying again
>John proceeded to pack the barrel of his musket with multiple layers of powder and wadded up newspaper until the ramrod is protruding half-way out the barrel
>John finally remember that he's supposed to fire the thing, not just load it repeatedly
>John, standing on his balcony, cocks that dog back and lets flint hit frizzen
>The gun fires, as a thundering boom rings out and a huge muzzle flash lights up the night sky
>the recoil is hard enough to completely shatter the stock, lacerating John pretty badly
>The barrel miraculously holds together, but it's bulged so badly that the gun is effectively scrap

>>64477555
>>64477555
...continued
>some of the more sober guests bandage John up with duct tape and paper towels
At some point later during that same night I got taken advantage of by the chubby 30-35YO red-headed curly haired bitch that used to babysit me when I was younger. Pretty sure she had some kind of mild 'tism.
Anyway, that's the story of how I lost my virginity.
Sometime that night John's two sons remembered that John had a couple cases of old dynamite in his basement and proceeded to dynamite the absolute fuck out of their neighbor's meticulously maintained compost pile.
That neighbor was the kind of hemp-shirt wearing hippie weirdo that bicycled to work for the environment long before anyone cared about global warming, and he used to yell at and harass all the neighborhood kids not being hippie scum as they took a shortcut across a tiny corner of his backyard. So he might have deserved to have his compost pile dynamited, but the brothers used far to much dynamite to the point where they didn't just blow up the compost pile. They shattered every window in the house and blew off some of the siding and most of the roof tiles. Thankfully this was in the days before 9/11 when you could get away with a slap on the wrist for that kind of shit, and the cops were busy dealing with all the far more harmful crimes which had occurred that same night, so the brothers got off with little more than a stern scolding from the cops and minor beating from their dad.

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>>64472557
Better than what my dad did. He called me into the room before shoooting himself with the pistol. I was 8. Same reason.

>>64472534
>shoot themselves over a woman
Legitimate bitch shit. Like the most cuckolded faggotry imaginable.
None of you fuckers do this shit. If you do, and I find out about it, I'll hunt your asses down and humiliate you in front of everyone else in hell.

>>64477759
Oh dear, I'm really sorry for you, Anon. No one should do that to their child.

>>64476822
Dick

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>>64477813
Thanks man. It's all good I don't have fond memories of him. The worse part was my grandma freaking out a out it.

>>64472178
AR-15 fired with the cleaning rod in the barrel.

>>64472241
Mosin Nagant rifle, and ass, but same. No not including the sight. I had pictures, one of them is the mosin in my ass. It was probably on here I ate a ban a few times lol.

>>64475074
When your competition is dedovshchina, asian fembois, zuttening and the good saars the bar is quite love.

>>64474488
>where a deer was hot
uh, how hot are we talking about, mr Double Dubs?

>>64472178
Had to eat dirt at a /k/ meet because a tacticool LARPer with lots of gucchi gear but zero experience or common sense shot at a rabbit while we were downrange checking targets. Damn near shoved that PS90 up his ass.

We used to do a lot of/k/ meets and the vast majority of people were safe with guns (knives not so much) and cool to be around but every now and then we'd get a real idiot in the mix. The dangerous combination isn't so much inexperience, but inexperience and stubborn arrogance. Just because you spent $50000 on the rarest most gucchi weapons and gear doesn't mean that basic safety rules don't apply anymore. Money doesn't make you cool by itself. A humble poorfag with a $400 PSA who can actually handle it safely and hit what he's shooting at 90% of the time is way cooler to be around.

>>64472178
>teaching brother's step kids (all about 14-17yrs old) and kid to shoot
>cold range to go change targets
>leave kids up range, had rigorously reviewed safety rules before and reminded them guns cleared and out of hands while range cold/people downrange
>changing targets
>hear loud 12ga fire
>wtfhitthedeck.jpg
>splay out, look back and see oldest step kid with shells in hand, an upside down 12ga in the other pointed at the ground with a smoking barrel
>several inch large crater about three inches from his toes
>oh what the fuck you morons
>instantly end range day, spend rest of day forcing them to clean firearms and repeat safety rules and generally making them miserable
shit spooked me good

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>>64477439
holy fuck anon, my sides. Please tell me this is real.

>>64478021
>/k/ meet
Tell me how many look like nerds vs regular guys ?

>>64478272
Everyone there was 6' or taller and jacked

>>64478272
That is a subjective question. People have picked apart the group photos and found arbitrary reasons to make fun of everyone, so by that standard one could say 100% nerd all around.

Realistically it was a pretty even spread from Chads to cool old guys to vets, fat guys, DYEL nerds (me), creeps, potheads, edgy pol-tards, weirdos, a few trannies and at least a tiny sprinkling of actual femanons (as far as I know anyway, I never checked). Most were some combination of the above. This was all the way back in like 2012-16 so demographics probably shifted since then.

>>64477375
fucking retard

>>64472178
russian roulette with an automatic
>be in hs
>play cod with some friends after school
>we rotate to eachother houses to game
>black ops recently had released and one of my friends wanted to try russian roulette like in the game
>grabs an airsoft gun from another room
>none of us were really interested but he insists and says he will go first
>proceeds to blow out his brains infront of us.
Im still not sure if it was an accident due to retardation or a suicide

>>64472241
Mine got drunk and shot the tv

>>64478432
How do you kys with an airsoft gun?

>>64472178
>What's the most stupid thing you have seen someone do with a weapon irl?
Point it at my head and tell me they were going to shoot me I told him to do it and after about a muniute of standing there he lowered it and I heabutted him and took it away and disposed of it.

>>64474488
hot deers aside, super cringe but not the worst thing I can think off

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>>64477439
saved

>>64478561
By being as smart as you are.

>>64478561
sub 75 iq post

>>64478432
>grabs an airsoft gun from another room
>proceeds to blow out his brains infront of us.
wat

>>64478771
>>64478890
So like it wasn't really an airsoft gun? Idgi. How did he mistake a real gun for an airsoft gun?

>>64477439
>I have armed the rottweiler
>If anyone would like to volunteer to disarm him that would be just fine by me

>>64476745
23 and 21

>hanging out with buddy at my house
>watching a movie
>dry firing our CC pistols at the characters on the screen
>buddy has retard moment
>grabs his mag off the coffee table, racks a round into the chamber, fires it at TV, all in span of maybe a couple seconds
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>bullet goes through tv, through wall, into kitchen, destroys my coffee maker, vanishes
>takes a couple seconds for either of us to realize what just happened
>buddy feels really terrible
>no damage to exterior of house so whatever
>patch hole in wall, throw away broken TV and coffee maker
>buddy offers to buy new TV
>tell him not to worry about it
I later stopped being friends with him. I really should've made him buy me a new TV.

>working on diy airgun (not airsoft)
>need to try the valce i just made
>call a few friend in the squat i was working on
>charge air in air tank
>load a marble
>pull the trigger
>nothing.bmp
>"uuuuh, wtf"
>wait a few seconds, just in case
>carefully lay gun against the wall
>this retard behind immediately take it and stick his eye to the bore
>need_new_pant.jpeg
thankfully, it was just a leak in the air tank, and that wasnt a blackpowder hangfire
the marble would have broken its skull
i since taken gun safety VERY seriously