Hard mode: No derailing the trainLegendary mode: No killing anyone
Block the rail with some trees or boulder.
>>64680354What are we robbing? The value, type, and weight of the target changes a lot of things.
>>64680354I board the train and then rob it. Next question?
>>64680420>I board the train and then rob itI CLENCH MY FIST AND BEAT IT
>>64680354Shoot Tom Hanks with a Kar 98
>>64680439>anon trying to sell a locomotive he just stole
>>64680442Who the Hell are Santa and his minions going report it stolen to? They were already breaking several FRA regulations driving it through a residential neighborhood at night operating on no schedule (not to mention permitting children to ride without adult supervision). I was merely removing a hazard to public safety.
>>64680354Fuck your rules*derails the train*
>>64680427I LIGHT MY TORCH AND BURN IT
>>64680442>not selling the locomotive before you steal it, then fucking off with the money
>>64680354>name my organization the CIA>derail the train, kill everybody, appropriate whatever material wealth hasn't been destroyed in the process>use the gains to fund fundamentalist guerilla and/or terror cells incompatible with civilzation itself"It never happened."
>>64680354Deploy a green agenda that makes coal unavailable on international markets. Or at least unaffordably expensive and illegal to export. That is clearly a steam locomotive. So it would grind to a halt. Next convince the passengers to buy my crypto coin, having them give me their money willingly. The rugpull them.
>>64680354Idk if you can man. That conductor might have some kind of supernatural shit up his sleeve. The whole thing seems like a kind of like A Christmas Carol meets Room 1408.
>>64680354Rob it? I'm going to have sex with the running gears. I'll probably get my dick ripped off when they throttle up to dislodge me but I don't give a shit, fucked a magic train.
Grease the tracks on a remote uphill section…. Force it to slow down by releasing cows on track. Board train and force engineers to dump steam and water and stop stoking fire…. At that point it’s not going anywhere. Then rob passengers/take goods. Then ride off on horses.. cut telegraph lines as soon as trains in site to prevent calls for help.. pick somewhere that’s a few miles away from anywhere it’s expected and you’ll have a good head start.. finally find place to stash loot in the middle of nowhere and cover your tracks. Wait a year or so before trying to sell or fence the loot
>>64680354It's a magic train run by saint nick.A literal saint, god has given him the power to bring cheer to children and you want to try your hand at robbing his wards?You will be turned into a lump of coal before you even step outside.
>>64681740>I'm going to have sex with the running gears. I'll probably get my dick ripped off when they throttle up to dislodge me but I don't give a shit, fucked a magic train.
>>64682689Who's that guy who writes erotica about abstract concepts?
>>64680354just put one of these bad boys on the tracks around a sharp corner or on a bridge
>>64680354Kidnap the engineer the night before and pretend to be his stoker.
>>64683000I never got how these are supposed to destroy a million tons of steel instead of just being destroyed themselves.
>>64683855Basically, in Judo you use an opponents momentum and weight against them
>>64683855It's basically a ramp that sends the wheel up and off the rail.
Salvaging a locomotive that weighs as much as a super-heavy tank after it derailed and overturned would have required extensive equipment. While this is good for sabotage, it's problematic as a method of theft.
>>64683855Ideally they are supposed to be used in a controlled and deliberate fashion at low speeds. This helps prevent shock loading and all the fun that accompanies that. Will it derail a train at speed? Yes, but only once, and very messily.
>>64682689>>64682706at that point, just pay a visit to the one train that got buried alive. They're immortal, so he's still in there.
>>64680354>Hard mode: No derailing the trainDoes suplexing it count as "derailing"?
>>64680354Spicy coal
>>64680354fentanyl in the air vents
>>64686730>Spicy coalWelsh coal?
>>64686769Black explosive chunk for sabotage
>>64686779Ah, the old coal torpedo, how could I forget about that.
>>64680354I derail it, then kill everyone.
>>64680354Why would I rob a bunch of kids?
>>64682689I'm afraid to ask which R34 site this is...
>>64690246>Counter-proposal, kill everyone by derailing itAcceptable
>>64680354I think the Bohemians have the answer to this riddle?
>>64680354I conscript the Hobo to help me and crash the train with no survivors
Put a penny on the tracks
Suplex the train.>>64685420My thoughts exactly.
>>64680354never watched this movie but isnt it full of kids?are we stealing the kids?no thanksnow if we were planning a rescue operation, I would board it when it slows down for a town or a bend in the tracks then plant a charge on the connector behind the locomotive and detonate it near the top of a hill so that the passenger cars roll backwards before the locomotive can come to a stophave a team waiting at that location to provide overwatch and transport for the children
>>64685420>>64691013Eh, easier to just use a Phoenix Down on it.
>>64680354But why you robbing it in the first place like do bunch of kids in pjs have of value
>>64680354I report them to the FRA for operating a locomotive without a boiler certificate
>>64691053>The Polar Express is undeadAt first I was going to argue, but you know, you might be onto something.
>>64680354>entire train consists of a bunch of creepy looking kids and Tom Hanks playing like five different charactersPretty easily I imagine
>>64693014The CGI in this movie really was uncanny
>>64694399Uncanny motion capture CGI was kinda Zemeckis's thing in the 2000s.
>>64683000>cornerCongratulations, everyone died.>bridgeEveryone got saved by the secondary rails that are supposed to catch the train, except I can't be fucked to look up the english name for them.>>64683855>destroy a million tons of stealYou just need to redirect them a bit and let physics do the rest.
>>64680354I get hited as the conductor after the previous conductor disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Once we're way out in no mans land, I bring the train to a halt at a predetermined location where my buddies are waiting, force all of the passengers off in the freezing cold as we take all valuables and belongings except clothes, then we fuck off in our new magic train
>>64680354>put red flag on long uphill>force engineers to dump water and roll into coaches>bottle air and cut coaches away, roll downhill>throw valuables off in predetermined spot>jump off and collect goodies later
>>64696109this pic is kinda spooky ngl
>>64680354>everyone on the train's unarmedNot that hard, probably don't even need a real gun
>>64680354I derail it and kill everyone
>>64680354Pump the vents full of fent.Fuck your rules.
>>64686730>>64686779You mean spiked?
>>64701024based
>>64680354Blow up the viaduct it's traveling on>Hard mode: No derailing the trainDo it within sight so they apply the brakes in time
>just derail it broThat ain't doing shithttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COdoHpU_a8U
>>64708345Didn't the Soviets lay temporary tracks over Lake Ladoga during the Siege of Leningrad?
>>64682689>You finally said Chooo?!?
>>64691249Epstein is offering a lot of money for them.
>>64695230Beowulf was good though, especially as a radio listen.
>>64680354I buy the railroad to vertically integrate my oil company.
>>64708345>that songGreat, now I'm getting flashbacks to a video on BestGore from around 2007 where some guys locked a rat inside a cage, poured some gasoline inside it, lit the rat on fire and it darted out into the street in a (literal) blaze of glory, well at least until it got hit by a passing car.
>>64680354Try to avoid talking to the autistic kid would be a good start.
>>64680354I'm telling Santa. You are all going on the list.
>>64680745>I AM THE AMBOMINABLE SNOW MAN I WORSHIP
>>64680354>purchase the rail line>start charging for snacks >start charging for luggage>cram more seats in>charge for "premium legroom">fire half the train staff
>>64715173what a fucking nerd
I use a really big magnet to
I would lie in wait for an ambush and would use a set of skis, a winch and a harpoon gun to get myself onto the side of the train from which I could smash one of the side windows of the carriage and climb in. From there I'd take the nerdy kid hostage before beating Tom Hanks into unconsciousness after which I would disembark the cargo.
>>64715191>lycanthropic manic cycles psychotropic burning bibles. Y U H
>>64680354Oil wagon on the tracks. She'll slow down, no conductor wants to get cooked alive. I'm gonn' make sure she slows.
>>64680354I derail the train and kill everyone.Easy.
>>64727077I still can't believe Viper was doing a Josef Fritzl the whole time and is now in prison for it
>>64680354Derail it.Kill everyone. I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
>>64680354Re-route the train to India
>>64715173Would bully/10
>>64715139wut
>>64732570>The Poolar Express
>>64680354ask to ride for free
>>64737421This guy gets it
>>64680354Disable the locomotive with solid shot from a recoilless rifle and have an assault squad with rifles overpower the crew.
>>64680354Assemble an elite team of dwarves posing as children and pickpocket everyone
>>64680354I hide in a bush near the rails with a tiny scrap of red cloth poking out slightly from behind the leaves. Once they go past (failing to stop) I call them over the radio telling them they just failed a safety engagement and to come to a nice easy stop. Then I rob them.
>>64680354>convince retard relative to take a selfie in front while it goes by>collect lawsuit money
>>64749392What is up with the recent trend of Indians standing in front of trains and then acting surprised when thousands of tons of metal instantly kills them?
>>64749594>IndiansThat happened in Mexico. She got hit by the historic steam train 'The Empress'.
>>64706322>within sight>apply the brakes in timeThose two things are very often mutualy exclusive when it comes to a thousand tons of steel, moving very fast on tracks.
>>64749612My apologies, 9/10 it's a pajeet so I just assumed
>>64744136Shoudln't they run towards the train?And why is no one taking selfies?Fucking AI bullshit.
>>64749392Is she okay?
>>64747886>She someone take massive trauma to the back of the head>Immediately start throwing them around .
>>64749392Woman moment
>>64680354I have train robbers in my ancestry so my genetic predilection is to to TNT the tracks, derail the train causing massive human casualties and then just take what I want as I shoot anyone still alive...
>>64680354>robbing it?Best robbary sir
>>64758322This your grandpappy?
