my tummy hurts and the corporal hasn't changed my diaper in hours

The cute girl in the reserves i work with complained about a piece of shit humvee in her unit needing to have your boot jammed in the tailpipe for it to start

I forgot to get more cosmic brownies. Now I'll have to get them tomorrow.

How do I stop smoking cigarettes? I didn't smoke before but now it's a full time habit

>>64956207
How the fuck would one figure that out

>>64956464
Ez, zyn.

>>64956470
I don't really understand why but it's a pretty common fix to get the shitboxes to start. something about them being diesel. You can also use a piece of wood or something too.

>>64956470
Apparently it's a fairly common trick with diesel engines, blocking the exhaust bumps the compression up a bit, traps heat and effectively primes the engine with the unburnt fuel. If you've got a diesel engine that just barely won't start it can provide the extra boost to get you going

>>64956077
My secret unit is currently located at Bandar Abbas and there are 100 of us but only two portapotties, our air defence against Shaheds is pretty light and Insta doesn't work. War is hell.

Ps. I can trust you not to tell the Iranians we're here, right OP?

>>64956464
Fentanyl is made for you anon, it can cure every addiction

>>64956918
Are you one of the 140 Delta guys they captured pulling a Hogan's Heroes?

>>64956924
I'm not sure that doing the fenty fold at formation is conducive to a good military career.

>>64956949
>Are you one of the 140 Delta guys they captured
huh? does iran claim they captured delta operators?

>>64956077
Learning new sailors bitching about staying at work past 1400 on land with no duty section while I used to be trapped in sub for years with port starboard duty is funny and I'm secretly seething at the sametime

food sucks

>>64956077
I got a bunch of fuck-ass 3 level trainees out of tech school in my shop that I was told I needed to take from, "I don't know what a Phillips Screwdriver looks like" to accomplished Avionics technicians with 25 years of experience in 6 months and when I told my commander that, she told me that we have an easy job and asked why it takes a year before they're 5 levels.
The commander is 23, a captain, female, hasn't worked a day in her life and literally fucking retarded with her english degree. Normally the new squadron commanders have a chaperone major or LtCol to make sure they don't FAFO, but this one nobody wants to be around.
The group commander came up to me afterwards and told me he would have a talk with her, but I don't have any faith in officers.
So now I'm preparing to go get these literal kids from their right start briefing and plan how I'm going to absolutely demolish her career and make her miserable enough to fuck off.
I'm thinking of starting the, "She is fucking some of the airmen" rumor and just see where things go from there.

>>64957015
>I'm thinking of starting the, "She is fucking some of the airmen" rumor
Its not a rumor if its a factual statement.

>>64957015
Or the classic
>le ebin shitpost in a suggestion box

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>>64956979

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I'm currently at Eglin stuntin' on you third worlders, currently playing GTA VI in the vault and not giving a fuck. My JTAR just got approved too, game over for Iran.

>>64957422
kek

>>64957365
Heh, yeah.
Another guy pulled a stunt on this fucking lesbian cunt of a colonel one time while at Al Udeid. We all called her, "Colonel Hyphen" because she had one in her name.
Stupid bitch was the Karenest of the Karen's and wanted to continually tell us how to do our jobs, berate us for alleged slights, white socks, etc.
One evening at shift change she wanted all us E6 and above that had a brick to gather our flocks of noobs together so she could say something to all of us.
This fucking retard goes on a tirade for 20 minutes about uniform shit, work harder, and know that we were fucking scum.
Once she was done, another shop chief says, "Shut the fuck up, lapper!" into his brick.
This silly cunt went absolutely nuts screaming, "Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Come forward you fucking coward! I'll kick your ass! Blah blah integrity blah blah!" and starts I go another tirade so everyone just started keying over her continuously.
Her punishment was to force us all to stay on the flight line working for 24 hours straight until someone came forward. We had already worked a 12!
Nobody did and nobody ratted the dude out who did it even though we all knew.
When we all started dragging ass and scrubbing missions, someone reported to Ops that we had been there for 36 straight hours and shit was getting dangerous. The pilots all refused to fly too.
Then the big boss showed up, walked into her office, relieved her of duty, and told everyone to go back to our hooches and go to bed.
Fucking bitch got sent home the next day.
Never saw her again.

>>64958506
So glad I'm not a surface fag.
Then again I have to hot rack with faggots with no internet.

But that pretty gay, never heard of that in sub force. Usually butthurt jo or the typical "we got to be the best fleet....so I can make full bird" COs. Or female nuke jo fucking dudes

>>64956464
Stop putting nicotine in your bloodstream for a few days and voilà you're not addicted anymore

>>64959706
Still gonna be orally fixated, so more dfac trips and sucking dicks. Fag