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Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)


Unofficial group chats maintained by kind anons of /sig/:
IRC: presently defunct afaik.
Discord: https://discord.gg/pUuXdBjKX2

copied posts from last thread:
>>40798972
>Ive already said probably too much
Gotcha.
>Maybe a desperate plea to the vast empty that some angel will spare me.
You might laugh but I have seen even that work, once.
>You dont have to try to save me.
My expectations are low. I won't go into this I can save you, I can promise you I won't break myself over the tragedy you are experiencing. If it makes you keep posting, think of this as palliative care. I won't guarantee anything but I think we can try and salvage SOMETHING. For your kids, at least. To build them a social safety net. Perhaps you too, as a corollary. Lemme address the two most crucial things first. One is a remark: if you believe you can't speak openly enough for someone to snatch you, I assume you are aware there is an unofficial discord where you can ping me privately. Two is, you talked about basically burning all bridges you had. Do you just mean people that turned out transphobic or did you push people away in specific ways?
>>40800797
Thank you, Anon! I have Monday off so I decided to commit to that as my next laundry day, feel free to hold me accountable <3
>>40801166
Take all the time you need, Anon.
>>40804375
>I'm kinda happy with the new season so far too, the animation is pretty solid.
Oh absolutely, I also like how varied the styles are they are playing around with.
>>40801300
Absolutely! I also kinda hope we get to see some more of Brief with his hair up like in the the s1 finale, but honestly I'm already more than happy with what we got.
>I made some cornflake brittle with sesame seeds, per your suggestion.
Oh nice, did they add to it, in your opinion? Congrats on your cleaning spree by the way!
>I’m planning on getting a physical egg timer next month and logging screentime in a notebook.
Ah, to get more functionality out of your smartphone, a good call!

>>40811072
>>40811088
You two are too kind.. I love doing what I do for this board.
>>40800260
>if any autismo depression sig anons want to chat & try to help each other later on discord or here i might be up for it. i
>think feeling like no one knows me and nothing i do matters is contributing a lot to making me feel stuck
Oh, have you given the unofficial server a shot? I haven't been there in ages but I know a good couple of peeps that used to go there that would surely love company.
>>40803850
>im just ao tired of all things goign agianst me and me
>not being allowed to enjoy good things, having to look behind my bakc constantly
>IM TIRED! of it all. I just wanna calm down
That sounds extremely rough, Anon. If you want we can try and think of things you can try to change about your life if you can concretely name things about it you wish to change.
I am incredibly happy you posted. I want you to feel welcome here, this general exists for people like you, and I understand you are tired and upset. That's okay. Take your time, we are here for you.
>>40811556
Happy to hear, Anon! Do you feel like you lack veggie recipes you would enjoy? If so we can try make suggestions if you describe meals that fit your palate.

Those were all from last thread.
More later I think.
>>40811667
I'm rooting for you, Junko. I am sorry you
>>40811938
Sounds like there's some work ahead, but I have faith that you can do it. The travel visa is great news already! I'm looking forward to your replies, sorry about the threads being so short lived recently, it's like a weather condition.
>I miss my family a ton but my country sucks.
I never asked before but are you comfy giving a vague idea which country it is? Like, LatAm, eastern europe..
>>40812234
Dumb question, but do you have a particular city in mind already? If you could go there, scout lgbt friendly meetup places and network a little it would be a lot easier. I noticed student cities tend to have a thriving and easily accessible scene usually.
>>40814184
>I wish I was better at keeping a good sleeping schedule.
Would you say the issue is tiredness, habits?
>>40815328
>I think I’ll keep adding other granola bar type ingredients like other kinds of seeds, nuts, or dried cranberries.
Sounds like a great idea! Speaking of dried fruit, I noticed that prunes are actually surprisingly good in sweets if you soak them well. Had a custard cake with them that was amazing.
>Pomodoro
I remember Pomodoro having been a very popular subject in /sig circles many years ago (before I made this general on lgbt), I never looked into it though. I'm excited to hear about your experiences with it!
> they’re striking between developing the story and the characters and using the show as a platform for stylistic experimentation.
Agreed, it's crazy to see how sky high the production quality is these days. We've been eating really good the past few years in general in terms of anime, but it's crazy to see something like PSG with modern techniques and budgets.

>>40836444
>>40836388
Your commission and tenacity are admirable
Thank you for these threads anon
Qott:
>count hygiene points
Basically a gamification of basic hygiene sonething I struggle with
Yday I got 2 points, brushed teeth and showered.
Today I aim for 3
Shower, teeth, shave

>goals
I rejected the hysterics of a bpdemon today. I know she has struggles, but they're not my struggles and I know I'm better off keeping all of that far away. I can't fix her. I won't try to fix her. I'm going to fix myself. I can handle it. I just can't let her talons in so she can yank me into the water to drown with her.

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>>40816897
>>40820566
Hey Junko, how are you holding up?
>>40819493
>mostly just laziness but thank you.
This is random but I feel like a lot of the time we don't give ourselves enough credit. As in, more often than not it seems like we call ourselves lazy even though we don't actually wanna avoid doing things, but rather are inhibited by things that can be rigged in our favor.
>have you been alright?
Overall yes, had a lot of loved ones visit me recently, it.. was a much needed break, really.
>>40820479
No specific location, gotcha.
>i don't have a car so scouting is difficult.
Ah, esp in the US that is tough.
>i've tried looking at online roommate finders, but those require marking gender in my profile, and since i'm andro boymoder idk which box to tick.
My personal rec? Unless you fear being outed in your home town through them, mark yourself as F and put that you're trans into the thing. I actually don't believe people are entitled to know but I DO believe that it filters a lot of people you wouldn't wanna live with.
>>40821122
>Thank you OP /siganon ( :P i never can track users)
hah, one and the same in this case.
>Military still dragging their heels on paperwork I was supposed to get 2 weeks ago and it's fucking with my head. I've chased them over it but I have no direct point of contact with the person who's meant to send me it.
>I'm coping by blaming them anyway, I sure can't force them to actually send me the paperwork and if it all falls through ig I'll look at going back to uni for a MSc or something.
What a fucking mess, yeah, they have no right to treat you like this, and in the end, it is a bigger loss for them in the long ran than it is for you, I believe. I have faith in you.

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>>40823022
>Currently working in getting a license here and still looking for work, not much luck In afraid though.
Also, thank you for the general direction! I heard similar things from a younger colleague of mine being from that general area.
>One of the main reasons for my abroad situation, not that my current luck's been very inspiring.
It's tough, and I wish this type of shit wasn't so luck based.. do you think it might be automated CV scanning shenanigans? Some places seem to use AI Karens rather than real ones now.
>>40827745
>cranked up the oven and made a mess of salmon, roast potatoes and roast carrots for the first time in months. i really hope i keep it up because the fast food habit is just fucking egregious i can feel it slowly killing me
Awesome, Anon! Gosh I have access to a ton of fresh seafood here but never buy any cause my kitchen in the apartment is the size of a closet.. I should really make something nice here at least ONCE! I also gotta get back to cooking, really.
>>40828075
>All good, we'll tend to the flame here while we can.
I appreciate it, I really do! It seems we have very few anons in the Americas, it's when the threads usually die..

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>>40837161
>Your commission and tenacity are admirable
Thank you, A! I can't have it go out with a whimper now, the 3rd anniversary is this December!
>>count hygiene points
>Basically a gamification of basic hygiene sonething I struggle with
This fits very well into the daily goals section under the OP, I like making a goal that involves a score board.. hm.. I will have to dwell on this.
>>40837871
Ah, airplane rules essentially: always fasten your own oxygen mask before helping others. It's essential, even if one is willing to help. I am glad you take care of yourself, Anon.
>>40800797
By the way, I did the laundry, as promised!

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Alright, caught up for now, time to rest up.

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goodnight bump, let's see if this thread makes it tonight! I'm carefully optimistic.

IM THWE NIGHT THAT BUMBPS
also playi g games after a showrrwith friens is fun
gn sig!

Male bump

>>40836388
>Goal of the thread: Suggest a goal! A small, every day thing you often put off, and would like to be reminded of at times.

Hmm. I keep putting off walking. I probably shouldn't do that.

Will followup to replies a little later, most likely.
Busy day today it seems.

Thanks for all the hard work, Siganon.

hugiene count: 2
called the engner to come see the situation
made cereal bowl for eat

I should enjoy being a man more
It’s what’s right for me
No hrt for a month apart from pills makes my skin crawl. Fuck suppliers. Fuck reality
I’m a man anyway why do I care? I should stop.

ive been struggling with thoughts of murder suicide for the past few hours, been debating on whether or not i should walk myself to the er but then doomscrolling kinda makes the urges tolerable enough to ignore until it inevitably flares up again

I tided up my apartment for the first time in a year. I can see the floor now and can walk around.

It feels really good

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>>40838072
>Also, thank you for the general direction!
Sorry for being vague, I have a weird relationship with the country I was born in.

>I heard similar things from a younger colleague of mine being from that general area
Somebody else from a Southern ok place in Africa? Like where?
But yeah all the same, it's especially bad back home, things do not have a clear course for things getting better at this rate.
I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing if it wasn't really that bad back there.

>It's tough, and I wish this type of shit wasn't so luck based.. do you think it might be automated CV scanning shenanigans?
Possibly, I may also not be valuable enough for the job market currently so I'll try to cover my bases there but beyond that I don't know what else I can be doing right now.

Do you have any advice on that?

>Some places seem to use AI Karens rather than real ones now
That's a depressingly fair observation.
Any way around that?

>>40836500
>Would you say the issue is tiredness, habits
Habits, circumstances and stress really, I should stop doomscrolling so much though.

Who cares anymore

>>40847277
Trust me I wouldn't put in so much effort if I didn't. And I will do it for as long as I am able. For you, too <3

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>>40847277
Caring can be overwhelming and upsetting when it leads you to want an outcome that is beyond your control. Not caring can seem preferable then. The problem I’ve found is that this reduces my motivation to do what I can.

Doing what I can to improve my situation feels good. I get a sense of accomplishment and reap the benefit of improving my situation.

Started going to the gym last week, went 3 times last week and 4 times this week, trying to eat right too, soon enough I'll be a lithe and beautiful twink

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>>40836388
Was doing PE and decided to heavy hang and clamp all on the same day. Ended up injuring myself by getting Lymphangiosclerosis. According to PE vets they say not to do anything with you dick while it heals. I fucked up and decided to still have sex and masterbate which prolonged the issue so now I've decided to lock in and not touch my dick at all for the next 8 weeks (the average amount of time it takes to heal according to old post).
I've been focusing on other things like eating healthy, lifting, and work which helped but I'm only on week 1. How do you people do it?

>>40848574
What's your program looking like?

>>40848705
Just trying to use the machines at my gym mostly, I start with 15-20 on an exercise bike moderate resistance, then depending on what's open, chest press, lat pull down, pec fly, reverse delt, abdominal, sometimes leg extension and press. I shoot for 3x12, using a weight (it's not very high yet) where I start failing 1-2 reps before finishing the set.

>>40848780
15-20 mins*

I want to lose weight (120kg) but I can't find the motivation to exercise or eat less. I made a big shift a few years back going from sugary drinks to sugar free sodas, and that made me lose about 5kg by itself.
Other than willpowering it through (usually means I rebound after hitting the 115kg mark) what can I do to fix this? Ideally I'd find some sport that I enjoy but I'm an awkward shut-in who works from home so I don't really go out much.

>>40849065
I found that I got motivation to go to the gym regularly after going a couple times, now whenever I'm home I just wanna get back there

hi, i've posted here a couple of times, but it's been a bit since.
i've been having a better time with my mental struggles; my partner has helped a lot with overcoming the emotional abuse i endured from my previous girlfriend before. i still have nights where i relapse and start looping bad thoughts, but they've gotten more and more sparse over the last few months.
i still have trouble understanding why she did things that way, but i try not to dwell on it too much; it already sent me to the hospital enough times.
i usually lurk here these days, but it's been getting a bit better, and i just wanted to share more about it...
i'm behind on work due to having to take time to do nothing, but my family has been supportive of me for once.
that said, i'm dreading work a bit due to being a freelancer. i communicated with my clients, but i still feel bad over the prospect of the suddenness causing some of them to doubt my reliability.
i'm slowly trying to get back on the horse, as far as that goes...
i also got back into going to the gym, the last two days. it's been nice. they have hot showers there, and an ac, so even if i can't make my workouts in full, i try to relax a bit.
my heart rate and blood pressure are also normalizing. along with the other physical issues my previous situation was causing.
i've been able to keep my meals down too.
i tried mailing my ex to tell them that i hope they're well. i'm not expecting a response, but i still care about her, in spite of what she did.
maybe i'm stupid.
the last few days have been calm and i'm grateful for that; my boyfriend is keeping me company a lot. (ps. i didn't use a trip before this, so it's a bit confusing, sorry.)

separate note, but do any of you have videos on keeping your living space clean? my room has no windows, and i keep the door shut for privacy, so it gets dusty...

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>>40849065
Going on a walk every day is a good starting exercise, provided you have a place where you feel comfortable walking outside. It’s low commitment, since it doesn’t cost money and you don’t have to walk far at first to get something out of it. As few as walking an extra 2000 steps a day can improve circulation and mood.

There are also a ton of beginner exercise routine videos online, just look for some and pick one you like. Also, if you’re getting an exercise or yoga mat, get one that folds rather than rolls. I got one that rolls and it always felt like it was going to curl up on me and I hardly used it and that made for a long detour on my weight loss journey.

I think eating less is easier when you’re eating more nutritious food. A proper meal should contain a source of protein (like meat), carbs (like potatoes or rice) and fat (like cheese or avocado). The more vegetables you can incorporate the better, the more fresh produce you’re incorporating the better. The veggies are there to help fill you up without adding too many extra calories, carbs or fat. You may have heard some of this but learning it myself as an adult felt like such an accident I feel like it bears stating.

I know when I was eating a more unhealthy diet, barely eating vegetables (and eating more food overall as a consequence) felt normal, but now that it’s not my normal I better appreciate what was missing.

Hope this helps!

Getting closer and closer to a healthy bmi despite the efforts of everyone I know to try and stop me. I fucking WILL reach 20.

>>40851986
I would kill to be 20 or below, at 33 right now

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dizzy and in pain again. my appointment at the hospital is coming up next week (the one ive been waiting 6months for) so I dont feel like contacting the doctors. it's bad. Im walking into walls again. just have to try powering through it. visited my mum yesterday. quickly left again. Every time I come back home or they drop by I feel like Im looking at caged animals plucking and pecking at each other.
there is no way for me to stop it but it still makes me feel sick seeing them hurt. it makesme want to mirror it on myself. that wont solve anything.
Tomorrow I'm hoping I wont be as dizzy so i can take care of my documents, my project, my meds, cleaning, fuck, all of it. take care

>>40848685
>How do you people do it?

I too cant have any sexual stimuli for the next 3 months. You have to know your triggers, be conscious of them and avoid them.

Leave notes pinned up reminding yourself of what you want, become hyper busy, learn a language. Occupy yourself. Focus on healthy habits, like making meals from scratch.

You need to fill your time

>>40849065
Get a cheap exercise bike, sit on it, watch movies.

Don't kill yourself, go light, go soft, just sit on it, watch your favourite stuff, but try to do it as part of your routine. Cheap, no going outside, and you'll catch up on a lot of media

>>40854379
I have one already... so I only need to sit on it, I guess

>>40854476
Thats it, just sit on it and watch a movie. If in one hour you pedal for 10 mins, that's a win, that's 10 mins you wouldnt have done otherwise

I’m
Going the distance. I will make it
Wagmi

>>40855581
Keep it up

>>40855581
:)

>>40836388
I hope you all had a decent day today.

Best of luck with everything.

pg9
hold yourself accountable for your actions but remember to stay gentle whenever possible. punishment is never the cure or the solution that will make you a better person

christ there are so many totally organic threads up rn
>did we go too far, sisters? I'm trans btw
jfc no wonder all generals are dying

>>40858356
>hold yourself accountable for your actions but remember to stay gentle whenever possible
I am trying to do so now, I'm very late to the game but I'm there at least.

>punishment is never the cure or the solution that will make you a better person
I have a hard time not punishing myself for my mistakes but your point makes sense.

I don’t deserve to call myself trans
Becayse im not abd I’m just non dysphoric
Pointless
Yet an other person told me so I’m my face. Why do I keep this charade up?

upping my protein CHANGED my mf life

I can’t lose weight
I dont have the discipline or patience
I’m just complaining btw
I won’t do anything to change

i want to learn to accept my sexuality

I enjoy mental sh
It’s fun!

>cureanon is back and transitioning
KEK
I’m crying

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>>40842754
>Hmm. I keep putting off walking. I probably shouldn't do that.
Oh, we do have a goal that's going for a walk!
>>40844197
>called the engner to come see the situation
Oh, did something break down?
>>40845330
Hope you are still around, e2angel! It sounds like you've been struggling for a while. What are your circumstances?
>>40845618
>It feels really good
I'm happy for you, and proud of you! You did yourself a solid there, and I'd like to tell you that you sharing that success with others also helps them, so it helps others too! Wonderful work, Anon.
>>40848574
Awesome, Anon! Make sure not to burn yourself out and remember that rest days are productive and important for gains as well!

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>>40846220
>>40846233
>Sorry for being vague, I have a weird relationship with the country I was born in.
Hey, it's not an issue at all! I respect people's privacy, and ask personal questions either out of genuine interest or because I find it is relevant context. The colleague I know is from Rwanda, by the way. But honestly I also know several people from Latin America for example who feel similarly.
>Do you have any advice on that?
No generic advice, sadly. In my limited experience people already in a given field sometimes have more useful information on what employers actually want that they don't put into the job description but not even that I know to be universal a thing.
>Any way around that?
In general I heard copy pasting more or less verbatim the job description and weaving the exact phrasing of it into your CV is bumping your visibility, meaning custom CVs per application are a good idea. Generally I know it's encouraged to have a master CV which you use to quickly pump out redacted versions from leaving the essentials pertinent to what it is you are applying for.
>Habits, circumstances and stress really, I should stop doomscrolling so much though.
Where do you doomscroll the most? Do you need your phone there or could you sabotage it by not keeping it, say, near your bed?
>>40849065
>Other than willpowering it through (usually means I rebound after hitting the 115kg mark) what can I do to fix this?
Besides sports, one thing I would suggest is to make the dieting/eating part of the equation more tolerable for yourself. I lost 40kg without torturing myself, I still ate the exact same things as I always have, just scaled down servings and went to bed early the first couple weeks. I did count calories though, not meticulously but with guesstimates with a +-200kcal margin of error (surely) per day. I was pretty much your weight when I started, too. If you're about 180cm I already know your TDEE from memory. What kinda intakes made you rebound?

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>>40850003
Welcome back, vivi.
>i just wanted to share more about it...
I deeply appreciate it, and hope lurking this general made things a tiny bit easier for you.
>causing some of them to doubt my reliability.
I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time, it would be strange for people to work with freelancers and not expect them to have sick leaves and such. Of course, people can have unreasonable expectations sometimes (we all do) but I hope it helps to hear that it is not a personal failing to take a break.
I'm glad to hear you are taking good care of yourself, you're even already reaping measurable benefits!
>i still care about her, in spite of what she did.
The only advice I can give there is, given what you said, you should only engage if it is in service of YOU. Specifically, if it helps you let go for good. Maybe that is a harsh outlook?
>i didn't use a trip before this, so it's a bit confusing, sorry.
I don't mind, it helps having names to refer people to for me and my goldfish memory.
>do any of you have videos on keeping your living space clean?
I don't have a video but I tend to vibe well with ADHD related advice on that front. Maybe that says something about me. My advice for keeping clean is a "dynamic equilibrium" approach; don't focus on cleaning a room in full. Clean in regular intervals, with the only constrain being that you clean more than can accumulate in that interval. In 15 minutes you surely can clean more dust than can accumulate in a week. This way, after a few weeks, your room will be significantly cleaner.
>>40852097
I can try give you some pointers from personal experience if you wanna.
>>40851986
I'm proud of you, Anon! I hope the people around you don't try to sabotage you too much.. it can be hard in either direction (losing and gaining). If there is anything you would like to hear from someone else as a sanity check, remember, I am here to support you.

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>>40837914
Managed to ask (harass) them into actually sending it (well maybe, not gonna get into it).
Anyway that's been 2 weeks of stress eating which made my dysmorphia act up (and frankly wasn't doing my attempts to drop 5-10kg any good either). I'm going to start using as much time off work as I can because if nothing else I cannot enter basic being a dysmorphic mess constantly.
>>40849065
I just cycled 20 miles every 2 out of 3 days and ate 1300-1500kcal but that's sort of in the zone of "just willpower it".
I need to get back into that mindset but shits difficult when working.
Ig just treadmill/static bike while mentally afk watching films etc desu.
>>40849606
I need to get back into this.
>>40851986
Also same (not at 33 but about killing for 20 or below).

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>>40837914

i'm going stealth because i just want to be a woman. we had a good 10 years desu, many happy memories, but i need to be a normal person

picking up taijiquan again, ordered some books on it.

put together 3 good eating days in a row, even with the shooting and the corresponding panic. didn't have anything more than a n/a beer and some frozen grapes while i watched hyperspace pirate on the telescreen

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>>40860133
>>40845223
Spiralling again, angel? I would like you to take some time and try to think about what you would tell another transgirl expressing these feelings. Flip the script.
>>40855581
Rooting for you, Anon!
>>40861202
Tell me about your sexuality, and the thoughts and feelings tied to it. You gotta name the things and articulate the issues to tackle them.
>>40852179
>the one ive been waiting 6months for
FINALLY!
>so I dont feel like contacting the doctors. it's bad. Im walking into walls again. just have to try powering through it.
I hope you recover swiftly.. this is a stupid question perhaps but is not seeing a doc about your current state a good idea? I just worry about you being too unwell interfering with the appointment if things go south..
As for family, sometimes all we can do is bear witness right?..
>Tomorrow I'm hoping I wont be as dizzy so i can take care of my documents, my project, my meds, cleaning, fuck, all of it. take care
Wishing you all the best, Shinjinon.. <3

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>>40856561
Thank you Anon, I appreciate it. Today was alright. I noticed myself gaining a bit from having taken friends out to dinner so often recently.. gonna counter steer now.
>>40858356
Self compassion like that is almost more important than self love, I feel. Like, being lenient with oneself is essential for productivity.
>>40860162
Oh? How so?
>>40861181
>>40861335
I'm sure you wanna but don't feel able, right?

i shitted the toilet and didnt flush
I was in a hurry again
I thought io flushed
i only remembered at home
boss will kill me
im lowest of the low
i deserve to be fired desu
3rd time this semester

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>>40862295
>Managed to ask (harass) them into actually sending it
based, also glad to hear you are making sure to rest up.
If you don't mind me chiming into one of your replies: what would you consider your ideal BMI range?
>>40861908
I only remember a few mildly confusing posts from cure. I hope transitioning will do her well.
>>40862358
I'm glad you're doing well in spite of the turmoil going on, and wish you nothing but the best going forward. Stupid question perhaps but as for the eating, what is your daily target? Are you on a fast or something?
>>40862399
Sounds like you're often overwhelmed, Anon.. what's up? It's okay, I don't think you need a scolding, I think you need a listening ear.

>>40862459
>I think you need a listening ear.
poop hehe!
IM LEGIT SUBHUMAN HOLY
HOW
Literally how
how
how
how
how can I be this dumb and unresponsible?
Literally too fuked in the head to DO OEN THING
Flush
the most simple thing
press a BUTTON
HOLY FUCK

>>40862362
>Spiralling again, angel?
garbage behavior mb
Wont happen again

>>40862534
And what was your day like leading up to that?
Were you calm? Anxious?

>>40862362
sorry for being a disaapointment etc etc

>>40862562
le normal day of le work at my le wagie cagie

>>40861908
Why crying?

What's so funny about me transitioning?

I used to post here sometimes. The goal was to work towards HRT and.. self improve.. and I did lol

Problem?

>>40862459
Thanks. I'm not gonna be super cute or nothjng but hey.

i wish people would just remove me from their lives instead of playing with my emotions
I wish they just told me i should leave
this is bullshit
just tell me i should leave
do it already
FUCK

>>40862459

1500 is very good, 1750 is what i target. TDEE for my ideal weight (previous pic related but who knows if my linebacker-ass frame will actually ever weigh 60kg) is like 1600. but it's almost not really worth thinking about that much. the body knows. exercising and not binging are what i need to focus on rather than premature optimization. but i got the surg and stitches haven't come out yet so exercise is not happening for a while which is why i'm picking up taiji again.

i thought this was going to be red button time for my gf but she's in the best mood i've ever seen her in. so im breathing easy today

>>40862459
I'm targeting like 20-22 (so 21) atm. So iirc like 60kg at 170cm (my first goal is 65kg down from stagnating at 73-74). I just get the worst dysmorphia about bodyfat and weight because essentially childhood shit.
I think I'll look okay at 65kg because I have a decent amount of lean mass but ehh.

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>>40862865
I wish you nothing but the very best.
>>40862573
You said you were in a hurry. Are you sure your normal day isn't just generally overwhelming or stressful? It sounds like it. I know you don't wanna do that, and it is clear it is a product of something else. And that is worth addressing compassionately.
>>40862565
>>40862552
You're not. I am just poking you to be kinder to yourself.. which is hard. I am not mad at you. I am just trying to protect you.
>>40862879
Are you afraid they will abandon you?

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>>40862889
I'm super happy to hear you are approaching things so sustainably. I hope you didn't mind me probing a little! I just sometimes gotta ask to make sure since it is easy to be overly ambitious with these things. Glad to hear your relationship is doing well too, had my own gf over recently and.. it's been needed. I am growing weary of the current LDR situation I am in but change is in the works!
>>40862892
Oh I see, I was just worried you would gravitate towards sub-19 territory. Sorry if I am being a bit of a dadmom about this, I just always try to make sure everyone is okay. I know a lot of it is intrinsic in your case given childhood baggage but I would really wish you a partner to help make you feel more comfortable in your own skin.. sometimes an intimate relationship can be healing like that.

>>40863145
>Are you afraid they will abandon you?
they already did
practically they have abandoned me
im free
im free

>>40863164
are they a poster ITT?

>>40863145
ill keep trying my best
tmr is a different day
gn

>>40863179
not afaik
it doesnt matter now

Gn bump

>>40863162
Nah, losing a lot of weight when I originally posted ITT (before I repped so like 2 years ago now) helped.
But I know for military purposes I need to maintain some weight just to carry rucks etc. Also just dysmorphia (and dysphoria) about body shape not just mass so I know I'll need to weight cycle to actually get the form I want.
Hopefully I'll be happy enough with my body in a year or so to feel I can handle a relationship. Probably need work done on it before I'll be really at ease tho - reminding myself that I haven't been on hrt that long really

I’m sorry

>>40864260
What about?

>>40862047
>Hey, it's not an issue at all! I respect people's privacy, and ask personal questions either out of genuine interest or because I find it is relevant context
I geuss I could add further context if it will help with my situation.
I came from South Africa.

>The colleague I know is from Rwanda, by the way
Ah I see. I'm afraid on not too familiar with the circumstances there.

>But honestly I also know several people from Latin America for example who feel similarly
It's hard for me to keep up my motivation these days with how things are going but I'm honestly so scared of poverty and homelessness I'll keep forcing myself to move forward.
I hate having no other options, I don't want to live this like forever.

>No generic advice, sadly. In my limited experience people already in a given field sometimes have more useful information on what employers actually want that they don't put into the job description but not even that I know to be universal a thing
I geuss I understand.
Should I try to reach out to more people that I associate with my field?

>>40862047
>In general I heard copy pasting more or less verbatim the job description and weaving the exact phrasing of it into your CV is bumping your visibility, meaning custom CVs per application are a good idea
Okay, so if it's a very viable application then it is best to customise the CV before I send it off?

>Generally I know it's encouraged to have a master CV which you use to quickly pump out redacted versions from leaving the essentials pertinent to what it is you are applying for
Understood, I will get started on my master copy of my CV as soon as possible.

Any further advice on applying for jobs and working with recruitment agencies.

>>40862047
>Where do you doomscroll the most?
Usually YouTube and Instagram.
I don't use them usefully anymore, I just keep trying to avoid how messed up my life is right now.

>Do you need your phone there or could you sabotage it by not keeping it, say, near your bed?
I use my phone a lot for communications and to use the internet on my laptop, it's a little hard to keep it away from my without a wifi connection.

>>40862373
I'm glad to hear you had a decent day, Siganon.

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>>40854365
Noted. Only so much I can distract myself with. The moment I try to decompress on social media and sommebody really cute pops up I unironically feel like killing myself. I want to cut out social media but I don't want to distract myself with shit like video games otherwise I won't be able to get off (huge D2 addict).

>I too cant have any sexual stimuli for the next 3 months.
I'm curious about what's specifically is stopping you.

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Hi /sig/! Been getting a ton of stuff done lately.

I printed out a calendar for next month of with my medical appointments marked and gave it to my mom, along with a cheat sheet of the addresses of every medical place I go to in person. I’m just seeing my psychiatrist and my dentist, but now my mom has a neat little summary of everything well in advance.

I made some breakfast burritos earlier tonight. I’m going to try adding pecan pieces to my next batch of cornflake brittle, because I still have some I bought to make pecan sandies.

I picked up some retinol cream to help heal some old acne scars on my face from a time when I was taking much worse care of my body.

I also did some journaling today with a notebook and pen. I think that analog journaling is better for my concentration and attention span than journaling in the notes app on a smartphone.

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i dont know if i should break up with my boyfriend

i dont really see myself living out my life with him, he's too immature and it feels like he never puts effort into anything

but im too scared to actually end things. and i feel like if i try to talk about this, its just going to lead to it happening.

i kind of want to just pretend like nothings wrong and continually distance myself away from him, but that seems really mean.

im scared that im not gonna be able to find anyone after, i dont really have any friends so he's like my only social connection right now. i dont know what to do

>>40858907
60% of threads I hide

>>40862038
>I'm happy for you, and proud of you! You did yourself a solid there, and I'd like to tell you that you sharing that success with others also helps them, so it helps others too! Wonderful work, Anon.

Thank you, you made me smile

>>40866234
>I'm curious about what's specifically is stopping you.

I'll share. A man sexually assaulted me and gave me an infection so bad I've been on 8 months of antibiotics so far. I thought I was going to die. I've had to see all kinds of specialists including cancer ones.

I also want SRS. If I avoid any sexual contact, the pain goes away. So no sexual contact until my srs and then there is recovery, so it will be a long time for me.

>>40866234
>social media

Poison for the mind. I cut it out and my mental health improved, but it filled a void and now I have to occupy my time rather than doom scroll. I don't want to see a single negative story, just watch nerds talk about Alien lore or Dead Space or whatever nonsense YouTube throws at me

>>40866393
>I made some breakfast burritos earlier tonight. I’m going to try adding pecan pieces to my next batch of cornflake brittle, because I still have some I bought to make pecan sandies.

Yum, good food is great

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hey folks, it's that runanon from indonesia. long time no see and sorry for disappearing so abruptly. unfortunately wasn't able to complete couch to 5k again due to exams and the uni introduction period, the good things is that next week i'm starting my course so i should have more free time. it's been a month since i moved out and i feel like i've finally settled and i know this sounds selfish, but i don't really miss my parents. the freedom has been liberating and i feel like i have control over my life. uni life so far has been awesome, i'm meeting people who share the same interests as me and i now have a decent support system from both my teman kos (not sure what that is in english) and uni friends. people here generally aren't assholes and are willing to connect with you as long as you have some decency and respect. thanks shinjianon for the uni advice and thank you all for helping get this far!!!!!!

>>40867172
That's what I enjoy been doing g so far. Been easing off of Twitter and especially Instagram. TikTok is a bit hard but I'm working on that.

>>40867160
I'm sorry to hear that anon. Will the infection affect your SRS in any way?

>>40867649
>I'm sorry to hear that anon. Will the infection affect your SRS in any way?

It sucks, I cry myself to sleep every night. Doctors are legit trying their best. Even did a cystoscopy, a camera inside my bladder. I was urinating blood clots. What that man did to me broke me fundamentally as a person, I never smile now. My soul is broken and i can never trust another human being again.

I genuinely don't know if it will affect srs. I don't even have a diagnosis, what would i tell the surgeon? The doctors here don't know what's wrong, just that something is deeply wrong.

I daydream that having srs will get rid of whatever infection i have, and I will be pain free. I have to try, i cant not have surgery. If I'm gonna eventually kms I'm gonna try first.

>>40868019
>I don't even have a diagnosis
How does that even happen? If they can't diagnose it then are you sure it's an infection?

>>40868322
Yeah they're sure, they've ran 20 tests. They give me antibiotics, it clears up, I eat healthy, drink only water, no sexual contact, and then I'll piss blood again after a few weeks.

Its pretty horrific

>>40867160
I'm sorry that happened to you, anon. In this position, SRS and no sexual contact sounds a bit secondary. How are *you*, mentally? Do you have anyone whom you can talk to? Anyone who understands? That includes chatGPT/Claude. Do you know what can you do when you have a nightmare, or when you're not entirely sure where you are?

If you can, and want to - try to reach out to someone you trust. Just for a while. You matter. You deserve to be seen and heard. You're not alone, Anon, and it's okay that you don't feel okay.

bump.

>>40869388
Mentally I'm pretty broken. I worry constantly that today I'll end up weeing blood clots again. The pain is extreme. I'd rather break both legs than have this infection.

I have my dad to talk to but it's embarrassing. He suspects a guy harmed me but I havent told him because he is very protective.

Thank you for the kind words anon, genuinely helps

>>40870876
Nona, you should tell your dad...

I haven't posted here in like a month or 2 but I have a couple things have finally happened for me...

I'm on hrt now. Still haven't come out to anyone I know irl, but I get a vibe from one person that they might be suspicious of me...

classes started but I missed the first day. When I registered for classes, I picked tuesday/thursday classes, but when I checked where they were on wednesday, I found out that for some reason my classes were changed to monday/wednesday classes for some reason... and at that point it was already past the time they were at so that was really annoying. and monday is a holiday so no classes so I have to sit with that anxiety for a whole week....

I guess that's it... still not really sure if/when/how I'll tell people irl. also not really sure why I even bother to continue trying....

>>40870922
He would be so disappointed in me, he's always warning me about men.

I cant bear to disappoint him

I'm a fat fuck, how do I stop eating all the time without engaging ana-mode unhealthy eating habits. Or do I bite the bullet and cut hard a few weeks then deal with that when it gets bad?

>>40872386
I don't think he would be disappointed, Nona. Even if so, any feelings of disappointment will quickly be overcome by concern and compassion. Your father seems to be more caring than most by the fact that he's even warning you about men. It's not your fault that you were assaulted. I really think you should tell your dad, he is your support network.

Haven’t been here for a while but I guess I might as well write what happened. I went a week without watching porn which is good it is at least something. I think I have an addictive personality because although I didn’t watch porn I was playing video games and man I get stuck there just playing. I really need a job desu because I feel like I am rotting away and I don’t want that, but man I need to get my life together because I have been sleeping at 2 and waking up in the afternoon and I really don’t want that anymore. In my mind I kind of want to just give up, but I really don’t want to go back where I was, but in a way I am and I hate it. The constant thoughts of men in the morning and watching porn doesn’t do anything for me and for a while I have been thinking to myself that what if it wasn’t an addiction, but I know that it’s not true and it really is an addiction. I know it’s not a hopeful update on my life but I think getting a job would really help me kick all of this curb. After I clear my head a bit more I think it’s time for me to share where I got my addiction in the first place.

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Hi /sig/ its been awhile and I would like your anonymous 2 cents.
Last weekend I flew to an anime con for the first time to visit an online friend in a big city I was thinking about moving to years from now when my circumstances are better and if the world hasnt ended yet
And I had fun and the city was beautiful and made me cry because there was so much to do compared to the shithole im forced to stay in atm
But I also tried cosplaying and ended up going back to my hotel and crying because of how ugly and masc I looked and because i thought everyone was laughing at me and uh
idk i dont think i can cope with ''nah im just a traumtized cis guy :)'' anymore. Even outside of the cosplay thing which was a big ask, seeing things like ddr tourneys or dumb kpop events were fun and i wanted to do it but like... even if i disregard the whole external validation of ''if large muscular men do things like that they look funny/dumb, but if women or skinny asian guys do it its more normal'', even without that it still just doesnt feel right to do it in my current body, idk. Im fine having a pp and i definitely dont want tits or a vagina, but at the same time being masculine does make me miserable, which i guess in the end is still a level of gender dysphoria, idk. I think im just gonna spend the next 30 days doing a disgusting amount of cardio, ignoring muscle/str training so my mucles atrophy a bit and i dont look like a fucking football player, and just trying to ana-mode it up as much as possible (ive already dropped 12 pounds of probably mostly water in 3 days since getting back, ty diruetics and cofee), as well as taking collagen and fish oil and vitamins for hair and skin and everything else. Ill see where that gets me in a month and if im still just as miserable, maybe ill consider finally taking hrt. And idk, I just dunno what im doing anymore, late 20s is a bit of a stretch for transitioning/physical body overhaul (1/2), sorry theres another thing im curious about

>>40873119
It will take time. He's been there to the hospital with me, so he knows something is wrong, just not what caused it.

I feel so angry at myself too. I just want this horrible infection to go away so I can learn my lesson and move on.

You're probably right anon, I will think on your words

>>40872673
Meal prep food! Only have food you can eat in the house, no snacks, otherwise you WILL eat them

Pre cook all your food for the week and ration it out day by day. If you get a craving, have a cup of tea or coffee

>>40874196
There's no reason to be angry at yourself, but I understand it is a complicated situation, having been there myself. You are loved, Nona. You don't deserve what happened or the medical symptoms you are still dealing with. I hope you can choose kindness for yourself and open up to your father eventually, but yes, all when you're ready, don't let an internet stranger rush you.

>>40874195
(2/2)The other thing im curious about is what the heck is the point of all of this is and how/why you all try so hard. If everything in our brains is just chemical reactions anyways, as much as i would love to be some super androgynous skinny twink, it is a TON of effort considering my genes and body. And yeah it makes me feel like shit but like, oh i could just go on a walk to distract myself, or drink alcohol and feel happy, or listen to music to escape the pain of my existence or whatever. Even if I did get super skinny, because of the antispych meds that ballooned me up when i was on them, my stomach will always be a ''that'' as someone has so lovingly refered to it. Even if i did get super fem, I still live in the same timeline where I wasnt cutesy and femboyish enough for the pedo that groomed me when i met him in this dog shit website (yeah i know it was technically still my fault for using this site). But like, i just dont understand what the point of doing the hard thing is anymore. People have to pivot their values and priorities all the time in life (plenty of people are giving up on being able to live on their own, going to college and working your dream job probably isnt realistic anymore, etc). Ill never not see myself as anything other than a fat ugly unlovable faggot that never had parents or family or friends. If i do have gender dysphoria yet its valid for me to do hrt to make myself feel better about it, isnt just taking it easy and then when im older killing myself like my dad did just as valid? whats the point, epsecially when i dont really have much. If i have no irl friends, no career, no education, no actual family, no places locally that i would enjoy, whats the point of trying? I could simply chase whatever frivalous short term dopamine boost for the next 24 years, then once im physically, mentally, and financially exhausted I can just rope. Thats still a better life than a lot of people get so idk.

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>>40874220
:)

>>40862047
Just relaxing again about portion size I guess, I was super autistic about numbers at the beginning and grew complacent

>>40872673
count calories (I just do it in my head rounding to the nearest 100 cause I'm too lazy), also avoid food that's easy to go for second helpings, entire pizzas, big bags of chips, boxes of cookies. That doesn't mean you can't eat tasty food, if you cook some meat patties and make burgers (or hell get a fast food burger), the only way you're going to be able to have more is if you cook it or go back out, which you probably won't feel like doing unless you're still hungry. With something like a pizza, it's easy to overindulge because going to the kitchen for another slice is really easy.

goodnight bump

Woke up in the evening and as midnight approached got really thirsty. Didn't have anything to drink other than water, so I had the bright idea of taking a quick stroll to the gas station and buying a bottle of something. Not only would that fix my thirst, but also make me experience a pleasant and lonesome night walk, which is always a plus.
As I reached the station however, I was greeted by a nasty surprise: It was jam-packed with people! My social anxiety/paranoia jumped to the highest level in like 3 years. I think a major culprit was my history of getting bullied in school by delinquents and other ill-manared folk. Having the firm assumption that only those types of people would be awake this late, I expected the worst.
Thought of waiting outside for the crowd to disperse, but thinking that would take too long ultimately decided to go in! I did however give myself a bit to prepare by browsing the fridges outside. Was in there for like 10 minutes, and unbelievably, nothing bad happened! The opposite in fact, as the cashier deducted the cents from my total, making me pay less than I should. But I still was on eggshells the whole time, and felt so relieved once I exited the establishment.
In hindsight, the stress could have been avoided if I decided to go later, as I'm pretty sure no one would have been buying or hanging out there at 5 AM. But as said, I was desperate for a drink. Now I'm enjoying a cold pepsi as reward for being so brave tonight :)

breakfast bump.

>>40878728
afternoon ish bump

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>>40836388 (OP)
Recently broke the 66lbs lost mark
>>40872673
The best advice can only be given with specific details about your habits. It's easier to make incremental changes and allow yourself to adjust naturally. Snack cleaner, don't finish things off as a rule and save them for later, eat more protein and complex carbs, eat three proper meals a day, cut out liquid calories, eat raw vegetables before you snack to help limit your appetite. Working out also helps a lot.

>>40879542
sick biceps, dude

>>40876754
this is a cute as fuck story lmao, gud in ya m8

>>40879974
Danke.

>>40876754
I bet that Pepsi tasted really good :)

Well done

>>40879542
baste transformation my dude

>>40836388
Is 25 too late to turn myself around and become a better person, a better man?

I don't really think it is, I don't want it to be, I want to get better and become a good person.

>>40881073
not at all, unless you take 50+ years to do it, which I doubt. You have your entire lifetime more than twice over to go.

>>40881073
I am 30 and significantly better than I've ever been.

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>>40881109
>not at all, unless you take 50+ years to do it, which I doubt
I am turning 25 in a few weeks.
From there, I wanna get my life in order as soon as possible. I need to have something stable and decent by age 30 at least for me to justify all the things my family and myself have been doing to get me ahead.

>You have your entire lifetime more than twice over to go
Is aiming to get my life on track in 5 years a little too ambitious?

>>40881216
>I am 30 and significantly better than I've ever been
How did you manage to handle things? Were you in a similar situation to myself and others?

Also, should I give more context for why things are the way they are.

>>40882220
Life is a learning experience my dude. There is no set timeline. There's no life to compare yours to but your own. There's nobody to compare yourself to but yourself.
Everything that happens happens as a consequence of everything that came before it and therefore it is necessary for things to happen in the time they happen. Your life plays out in only one way no matter how many times it plays out.
Don't feel anything for anything but the present. Look at the past only to learn from what happened and think only about the future to keep yourself on the correct course.
Face every day with the goal of trending positively, being some degree better than yesterday.
The specifics do not matter. For a long time, older than you are now, I was unhappy and aimless. There were plenty of reasons for it but they are not important. I reached a point where I figured out that almost all of my suffering came from my own mind and that I could simply choose to not inflict it upon myself, and the rest I could tolerate.
Once I boiled my life down to a microcosm everything became significantly easier and I slowly got my life to where it is now and tracking towards how I want to be.

>>40881073
>Is 25 too late to turn myself around and become a better person, a better man?
It is, but you'll try anyway and become depressed at humanity in general. Kindness and patience are punished in this world. I wish I knew how to be meaner so I wouldn't be alone.

For whatever reason I dont want to talk to my therapist. I've never really connected with them, but I've spoken about things in the past because I forced myself to, but now I just don't want to tell them anything. I'd be happy to tell other people, even complete strangers, but not them.