I don't know if I can do this Ive been actually freaking the fuck out. I don't wanna transition I really really really really don't wanna transition. I turned 20 one month ago its never been this bad before, I don't know why I wanna fuck up my life so badly. I'm gaslighting myself or something I don't know I just wanna where makeup in public without having a fit of panic that everyone e wants me to kill myself. I'm just gonna fucking spiral every 5th night for the rest of my life I guess. sooo funny gvhusahgudhgwrhph.
>>40880255Take e, then after some time you can girlmode
dont worry about it, just push it down. i wanted to troon at 18 and repressed for 10 years just fine
>>40880336okay but people are gonna hate me and it’ll fuck up my health and then I’ll die and that’ll suck>>40880365how’s that going?
>>40880255>I really really really really don't wanna transitionThen fucking don't.
feels
>>40880439I’m worried that I’m gonna get sad and then kill myself :<
>>40880255Hi sis 22 recent repperIt doesn't go away. If you wish you were a girl, you're trans. Your inner girl wants to break free. It's ok to be scared. I'm scared too, and I've freaked out before. I'm 2 weeks hrt now. My mind feels like it has no idea what's going on or where it's going in the back of a car my heart and soul are driving. I'm just following my heart. It's what it wants. I haven't planned on transitioning, but slowly, I have been. Shave a lot more and go by a different name and dress different... My heart wants me to come out to people. To everyone honestly but to just a few for nowI don't know how and I'm so scared and when I think about being a girl, I just freeze and want to run, like I never could do it. I'm so envious of all the trans girls that can. They're so brave. But I know I will some day. I see their pictures and they look so pretty and so happy and I just try to see myself in there, so pretty, so happy. It's your life sis. Rep or don't rep, but it won't go away. Your brain wants to take care of you. And if wants to be a girl, too...
>>40880255honestly, I sympathize if ppl don't want to do a humiliation ritual or state they're women to strangers when they feel unpreparedI just don't really understand posts like this, like if you had hrt in a desk drawer without any effort you wouldn't want to transition? you would say no?so like.. why just not do it? why post the thread? otherwise just do it
>>40880508okay thanks you for the input friend :<
>>40880541yeah if there was all the stuff in my room I’d probably have done it by now. Im just scared and I don’t have anyone to talk about this to. Sorry if the thread came off as attention seeking, it kinda was but whatever
>>40880542You're so brave and strong sis
>>40880255speaking from experience you will regret putting it off. It'll be really difficult and scary for the first couple of years but it's still preferable to repping
>>40880571yeah I’ve been kinda coming to that conclusion :< I just don’t wanna be a burden to people, I’ll probably just try and do the pretty gay boy thing for as long as I can.
>>40880255Get on e and cry now rather than later. It genuinely sounds like you need to talk with someone IRL about this.
>>40880599yeah I think so too, I’m trying to get a therapist right now. Also I’m gonna go down to LA next weekend to see my friend. He’s probably the least likely person to immediately hate me over this so I’ll try and tell him what’s been going on
>>40880414You'll die anyway one day
