>have freind>shes like my best freind (to mme atleast)>we meet while im really depressed, just lost an old freind group, stuck in bed most days>shes funny, I like hanging out with her, she jokingly makes fun of me and I fake get mad and we have fun>I start to try and transitoin more (plucking my eyebrows, actually voice training) because she tells me I should>I start drawing because she tells me I should>fast forward like 6 months>she dissapears one day, her accounts get deleted"weird but im sure she will come back">she dosent>find her steam (she unadded everyone) because shes the only person who appears on the "recently played with" tab"sorry anon... I dident think anyone would track me down.. it had nothing to do with you, I just need a full reset and move on, you *were* a good freind">spend the next 3 weeks stuck in bed, starving myself again, cant even play video games because we used to play together and I just get sadWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYTAKEMEWITHYOU PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE COMEBACK I MISSYOUIMISSYOU FUCKFUCKFUCKIMSORRY IMSORRPLEASECOMEBACKI KNOW ITS WRONG FOR ME TO FEEL THIS WAY BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO LEAVE AND I SHOULDNT NEED A FREIND THIS MCH BUT FUCK IM GOING TO LOSE IT
>>40908206not them but because i hate myself and want to reinvent myself and everyone from the past is a painful reminder of who i hate
>>40908230I know its not them, they dont use /lgbt/ hell im pretty sure they dont use anything except discord now, i wouldnt wanna appear this sad infront of them anyway
>>40908206
wowza! im sorry to hear that-the grungler
>>40908206its okay little troony
>>40908206I know that feel anon
>>40908206Sad to hear about that anon.I'm trying to see this from her point of view, though, because I guess I can kind of relate. Some of us deal with so much and it's so hard to open up, we often feel this need to just disappear to try to reconnect with ourselves. And it sucks, because we often don't take into account how much entity we can have into other people's wellbeing or how much we meant to them. We give others so much, often what it was never given or just plainly denied to us. But this can also weight on us, because sometimes what we bring to other lives is way more than what we feel we're receiving, and at those times, we just end up feeling alien to everyone we know."Full reset" huh... I can get that. I also did many of those in my life. And whenever I did I often found out later about people like you, who were left wondering what did they even do to deserve being left behind. But it's not the fault of any of these parties, as it probably isn't your fault as she said to you. It's just... we work this way. It's a pattern, a disgusting one, but it's perhaps the only one we know to survive, even though it is basically escaping in disregard other people's emotions. I'm not saying it's correct, it's just so relatable.I truly hope you are able to take what she has left you and move on. Of course I'm not trying to speak on her regard, but I hope anything I said resonates and perhaps serve you to see it at least a little from her side.
i feel like if i ever did have real, close friends i would probably end up doing some shit like this to them anyway. i don't trust myself to have relationships with others cuz idon't wanna hurt them. some deep deep structural problem
