bpd tranners are worth loving
>>40923893this is TRUE we are entitled to love
BPD anything are worth casting into the fire
>>40923893are pddnos avpd trannies worth loving?
>>40924328the only personality disorders to avoid are cluster-a, so yes
>>40923893>shows you cute animals and how theyre just like your fairytale romance>5 minutes later texts her ex how much she misses them and that they should me up soonhow do you do this and why does it not register to you as twisting a knife in your partners back
>>40924352im not cluster a (im b) but why avoid cluster a's ?
>>40924389its because you didnt respond
>>40924389that doesnt sound like bpd that sounds more like autism. if it was bpd, she'd be saying mean things to you instead
>>40924394cluster-a personality disorders are much less trusting, harder to understand the thoughts of and some just dont care for relationships. very hard to be friends (or more) with someone who doesnt care for social interaction
>>40924468i dont think barriers to having a relationship in the first place trump a magnetic relationship that leaves you hollowed and broken. Cluster b are obviously worse (by nature of being inherently predatory), very cluster b tactic to try and label another set of disorders as the problem tho lmao, especially given that cluster as self select themselves out of availability thus ensuring theyre never an issue to begin with
>>40923893I know I am And i will tame the instability within so that I'm not as difficult to love and so that I save myself as much unnecessary pain as possible and save others unnecessary pain tooI want to get better so badlyAnd I willBecause I believe I willAnd I am putting in the work
Give me my bpd gf! As a socially awkward chaser I deserve love too!
>>40924515if you think all cluster b's are predatory theres no point in talking to you tbhon
>>40924580without treatment and a willingness to change they are, yes. and this will be true in the vast majority of cases if the diagnosis is real and not tiktok self id shit.
>>40924328How are you supposed to find a avpd gf
>>40923893bpdemons aren't valid
Bpdemons deserve to be tortured as much as they claim to actually be suffering
>>40925058TRVEwe should validate their worldview and crucify them in the town square
>>40925058you wouldn’t last a day
>>40925058why anon? what do we do that's so horrible? we suffer greatly, it's exhausting and painful existing this way and it's why we kill ourselves so frequently
>>40924515.....testing does this Hotaru poster perhaps play golf?
>>40924658>BPD characterized by lack of emotional coping skills usually disrupted by trauma somehow equals inherently predatory You are a retard.
>>40925556yes using another person as your main source of emotional regulation is indeed predatory, especially when BPDs have a tendency to always hunt new supply to ensure their sense of safety.
>>40925592Assuming that's what they inherently do and don't evolve to that as a survival mechanism because standard psychosocial osmosis isn't available to them. Unless you think hanging out with people to have fun and decompress is predatory instead of social, as humans evolved.
>>40925592why is it "using", its not like bpds are nonreciprocal in relationships. is it bad to rely on friends for mental health or would you rather go broke paying a therapist?
>>40925623>>40925640the problem you find in relationships with BPDs is that the level of regulation/care they need is often 1. non-reciprocal (there is often not room for the other partners emotions)2. ever escalating (the more they are given the more they expect, to the point of a partners exhaustion)3. Mandatory, should a partner fail to care for them properly for any reason (real or imagined) they will often devise emotional punishments for the partner or seek what they need outside of the relationship.tldr, bpds create one way streets of getting their needs met and are therefore predatory. if this is not the case then it can be said that their disease is under control, but this is usually not the case if the diagnosis is real
>>40925771have you been in a relationship with someone with bpd anon? how did it affect you and your feelings after things ended? ive been thinking a lot about my past relationships and whats it like on the other side of things, i want to understand. i want to be better
>>40925771>Who would go on the Internet and just make things upSo they made you do CBT or DBT for your BPD?Save the angry armchair psychology informed by anecdotal evidence. You don't know what you're talking about.
>>40925771yep seen all 3 with the ex, although I still prefer CPTSD as it's less "you're literally hitler, bpdemon, kys" and more "aight shit messed you up, neither kys nor are you excused but we or you can work on this and I don't need to let you step over my boundaries"
>>40923893i'll put ur soul in limbo and u'd still love me?
>>40925821Two (both cisf). Im an mtf (transbian) with a very codependent streak and draw in bpd women frequently. The last relationship was live in and had me as the primary breadwinner. She was very sweet and Im still in love with her, but she was actively sabotaging my transition and started emotionally cheating on me with her ex gf (also cis). I kicked her out and left her after she threw a tantrum where she jumped out of my car one day while it was moving and screamed at me that i was being threatening (as an mtf this risks me getting a dv call that puts me in mens jail; i had confronted her about ghosting me, as she was mad i hung out with friends without her she was out of town, when i was supposed to pick her up at the airport. instead she sent me on a wild goose chase around the city to find what train station she was at when she could have just waited at the airport terminal she arrived at lol but she decided to turn the favor of me picking her up into a punishment).I really did my best with her and gave her all my time and a ton of money as well. In the end she was only kind when I was compliant, as soon as I established a boundary she acted like a wild animal. Im honestly not sure I want to ever date again after this experience, its been months and Im still reeling. Theres a lot more that could be said (constant mystery illnesses that prevented her from doing chores or school, financial manipulation pretending that she needed my income when she secretly had a weekly allowance, bad talking me behind my back, often making things up about me to our shared friends so i couldnt get closer to them than she was, not letting me have space to go to trans healthcare related appointments, soft launching a poly situation i didnt agree to).Maybe some of these problems are due to her cisf privilege, but honestly I feel like a husk after just 14 months of her being around full time. She had me trained to tend to her needs 24/7, and the result was self erasure.
Lol doubt
>>40925827so what is a relationship with a BPD in your view? just a sad broken bird that will become healthy with enough love; how much love is that, exactly?
>>40926073>Describes codependency Uh, no.
>>40926089answer the q
>>40923893no we arent
>>40926006I'm sorry anon, that sounds like a messy terrible experience.>She had me trained to tend to her needs 24/7, and the result was self erasure.Can you tell me more about this please? Why what she did resulted in your feelings being erased, and just generally how it affected your emotions
I wish I had BPD so badly instead of avpd. Nobody ever gives a shit about loving people with avoidant personality disorder. Nobody ever wants an avpd girlfriend
>>40926200I meant in your self being erased rather than your feelings
>>40926206girl you refuse any possible connection then wonder why people dont want you
>>40926226I literally can’t help it. Besides people with bpd usually ruin any possible connection but men still want them and say shit like “I want a BPD girlfriend!” So it doesn’t have to do with the forming of connections
>>40926244the connection still exists, love still happens, people with bpd just inevitably ruin it because we're afraid of abandonment
>>40926279I’m aware but I’m referring to the men who want a girl specifically because of her bpd without any connection. Sucks to know that love will never happen to me though
>>40926172My relationship with a bpd person is the same as any other. If it is unhealthy, I leave.
>>40926301people with bpd are exciting, people with avpd are cold and distant. people especially with romance enjoy excitement, thats the core of what makes romance enjoyable
>>40925771yeah this sums it up exactly and you can tell because of the angry BPD replies kek
>>40926383one reply was asking someone to talk about what its like dating someone with bpd, one was an angry bpd reply, two were saying it's accurate
>>40926200>Why what she did resulted in your feelings being erasedfor example, if she was having nightmares because of her past (abusive dad, abusive ex bf) I would always be willing to sit with her and talk it through. If i was having a string of bad days because of work, or if i had dysphoria, she would tell me i was being selfish/dramatic and that it was my responsibility to see a therapist. My first bpd relationship was similar in this regard.in terms of training to tend to her needs, she would become ill if i ever had to leave her for an extended period of time. for example, if i had to be in office for work, it was guaranteed she would be bed ridden for the day and would need hours of coaxing when i got home (after this effort she would usually become her cuddly good side again). or if i went on a trip without her she would inevitably pick a fight over text message, like "youre being so selfish send me pics from your trip, how come you arent asking me about my day?!?". The message was clear: if you arent tending to my needs, i will fall apart. over time this makes it so that you cant tend to yourself because youre so afraid of what she'll do if shes not given enough of your time and effort. She paid lip service to giving me space, but in practice she couldnt handle it
>>40926314That’s exactly why I want bpd so badly. No man will ever love me. I’ll never experience the joys of romance or even friendship
>>40926426I'm sorry anon, I would like to think I did my best to reciprocate helping the other person, but I haven't always been the best at it. Not to the point of actively dismissing their feelings, but certainly not being very helpful or being able to help them feel better.In terms of trips, is it a factor if not just being able to not think about her for a while and do your own thing separate from her? I guess for me the other person is the central part of my life and I project that onto them.
>>40926426>over time this makes it so that you cant tend to yourself because youre so afraid of what she'll do if shes not given enough of your time and effort.god nona your posts are like reading my autobiography. I had the same thing happen, I tried to talk to her about why I seemed scared and she turned it around on me and said she didn't feel safe expressing her emotions anymore, that I was weaponizing my fear to silence her. Naturally if I raised my voice even the tiniest bit due to fear or anger or literally anything she would tell me she felt threatened, and 15 minutes later she would be yelling at me and calling me terrible things and I'd be expected to just take it. It really does make you want to hide forever and never risk meeting another person like this. I'm glad to find someone to commiserate with but I'm sorry that you're able to at the same time.
wrong but does someone wanna try anyway
