21 bi mtf, started hrt at 19i actually dont have that much experience with autosexuality, i would confidently say that my sexuality is mostly allosexual, but i actually do have experience from both sides and im curious if there are any ppl like me on this cesspool of a websitewhen i was 14 i discovered snapchat, chatroulettes and the trend of sending nudes and while doing this i would discover that i am able to derive some pleasure from masturbating to my pics while thinking how attractive i am as a guy (i wasnt). i would measure my penis and get excited abt the number. i was also very much attracted to the smell of my own genitals and i would just randomly smell it during fapping sessions. i even had at least 1 instance of masturbating to a mirror and 1 instance of getting blackmailed for pics by some pedo. and also, yes, i did already experience some dysphoria at the time, but dysphoria is temporarily forgotten if you are horny while on androgens. during later stages of my puberty my dysphoria abt voice, face shape, facial hair, body hair, fat tissue distribution etc. would grow and thats probably why i didnt really engage into AAP any further. only at 17 i would discover that i have some attraction towards guys and adopt the bisexual label.when i was 19, shortly after i started my transition, i discovered ewhoring on instagram and while doing this i would discover that i am able to derive some pleasure from masturbating to my pics while thinking how attractive i am as a girl (i wasnt). in all of this, getting external validation was the most important thing, but the AGP component still played some role. i would still be attracted to the smell of my own genitals. but after some time, hrt would make my sexuality more lowkey and i didnt really feel the need to act out on my exhibitionistic urges anymore.
>>40926929I don't know. A lot to unpack here. I wish you hadn't spent so much time sending pictures to pedophiles. AGP is not real is Blanchard is closely associated with real deal fascists. Stop coming to this website.
still, i am able to get off to a fantasy where there's only me masturbating while being in a body that is just like mine but with bigger boobs and female parts and i dont feel any guilt from it. but i kind of hope that when i actually get bigger boobs and female parts, it will become new normal for me and i wont be weird about it.i dont really resonate with the stereotypical agp experience, i never watched any agp-coded porn, i never indulged into any fantasies about being feminised or transforming into a female, i'm not at all into being degraded, i actually find some male bodies attractive, i never got aroused from crossdressing, dysphoria came long before sexual fantasies about being a girl etc. but theres one thing typical for jeeps that i can totally resonate with, which is this weird thing abt struggling to tell apart attraction and envy. idk why am i this way. if there are any blanchardist pseudointellectuals reading this, i consent to getting brutally psychoanalized. if you ask me, AAP was probably repressed androphilia and AGP could be a lot of things, but i dont think its the root cause of me being trans and surely it was not something that directly drove me to transitioning. but whatever i am, i know that i am ok this way bc i'm being very lowkey with my sexuality, i'm not harming anyone and i'm at peace with myself, not having any inner conflicts anymore.testosterone poisoning is the worst thing a girl can experience
>>40926957>I wish you hadn't spent so much time sending pictures to pedophiles. idk, apart from that 1 instance of blackmail, i was okay>AGP is not real in my opinion it is real if there is at least 1 person reporting it, and actually there are a lot of anecdotal evidence that would suggest that there are a lot of people (cis and trans, men and women) experiencing some sort of arousal from thinking about their female selveshowever, i acknowledge that a lot of concepts proposed by blanchard are based on bad sciece and confirmation bias, in my opinion blanchardism is an obsolete and biased theory that would be forgotten if it wasnt so politically controversial. i could yap about problems with blanchardism for hours but maybe i will leave it for another thread.>stop coming to this websiteno
