>mom and sister want to protect me from womanhood>socially conscious women view being nlog as some patriarchal abberation>womanhood is simultaneously beautiful and constantly suppressed by patriarchal influencesi really want to kill myself i will never ever be a woman and even though i pass people know i was born with these genitals, with no intersex condition. im inherently missing something. ill be abused but whenever i think or speak or act it will never meet the same abuse women have suffered
>>40932511(cont.) my ex girlfriend was an intersex woman and a disgusting pedophile who fucked sixteen year olds. and i feel like she innately had some understanding of something i didnt regardless. she said i was gay for my trans roommate and not lesbian, and she only claims that she said that bc she was angry but i cant believe her. im just inferior. im just inferior to everyone. i hate being a man. i wear male clothes. i use male ponography. i penetrate. but if i give up these things then i wont be anything, not a woman. i should truly get over with it and just die
(cont.) ill never ever ever be like joan. ill never be like her. and she was gods most faithful and wonderful follower. she had a resillient spirit and a beautiful heart and ill never be like her. it drives me crazy
>male pornographyWhat's that? Like... gay sex? And you watch porn come on you should know by now futa women can penetrate. It's mostly just cis people and fags who assign penetration = woman
>>40932673no just very masculine drawn pornogrpahy and fetishes that tend to be very masculine in nature. i get that men or women dont have separate brains but also we're supposed to be inherently violent because of social conditioning. im scared. i feel so disgusting and no matter how my body changes im just disgusting and male. everyone believes in this essentialism. if anyone finds out about my birth sex i know theyll see me as some freak
>>40932698How long have you been on E?
>>40932722three years. im offsetting it with progesterone because i have body dysmorphia and want to gain weight (its been working). and ive been really trying to be happy with being a man even if my close friends/strangers see me as female. being a gay male lets me get away with agp stuff like wearing sanrio merch wrong. i mean its weird but theres no preconcieved notion of me trying to invade anything.
