I am a 21 y/o trans girl living in the largest city in my state (on the east coast). I look like a monster. Every time a stranger refers to or addresses me with a gendered term I take note of it and log it in my phone (Only counting once per person, and obviously not counting situations where someone has access to information that would affect their decision, i.e. if I introduce myself with my name and they gender me correctly afterwards it doesn't count, it only counts when they're doing it based off how I look/sound/act, not based off things they've been told). I have been doing this for over a year.I'm currently, according to my records, gendered correctly 83% of the time, and I haven't been misgendered in 7 months. But the thing is, I absolutely do not pass. Like not even a little bit. I'm actually so ugly and masculine it's insane and it's unbelievable to me that I get ma'am'd anywhere near as much as I do. But I do.My question is, in cities, will most people refer to you based off your presentation regardless of if you pass or not? Are most people actually nice and respectful to trans people, and the internet is just disproportionately hostile to us? Or, am I just delusional about how clocky I am? I would love to hear the opinion of some fellow transgenders and normal-people experts. thankyou,,
>>40968569what about your files on every person you have ever encountered on the street? do they pass? how many are trans and how many aren't?if you don't have the files on every other person then you can understand why it's not that deepmost ppl never scrutinize or care that much tbqh
>>40968667I don't think it's all "that deep". I'm just wondering if people can tell if I'm trans or not. Either people notice I'm trans, but they don't care and they're just not transphobic, or, they just don't notice at all.
>>40968712well, that's the thing, it's just psychological heuristics, and then scrutinizing and misgendering costs effort, which is unusualso you can't figure out which portion of ppl are paying attention and which are just going off conditioned heuristics, and even if you could get only ppl that pay attention you will never know how many are being nice or mean, and how many just go along for the least social frictionpassing can make you lose your mind if you let it imho
>>40968867i will never know but i would like to know and i would like to hear people's thoughts
>>40968891well, that is my thoughts, it can make you lose your mind...I will say there is a noticeable difference between when I made some effort and was thinner, and when I made no effort and was heavierlike the difference between colleagues blushing, getting asked out, ppl trying to scout me off the street, asking to kiss my hand, asking if I'm single, bending the rules, bus driver letting me take a hot drink onto a bus with a no drinks sign and then waiting for me to cross the street infront of the bus and waving before driving onversus old men on two occasions saying I look nice in recent years while I take a break on a benchI know ppl try to say that being attractive and passing aren't the same thing, but they're still closely related like 'a girl that cute can't be mtf' or 'a guy that buff can't be ftm'
>>40969016>colleagues blushing, getting asked out, ppl trying to scout me off the street, asking to kiss my hand, asking if I'm single, bending the rules, bus driver letting me take a hot drink onto a bus with a no drinks sign and then waiting for me to cross the street infront of the bus and waving before driving onnone of these things have ever, ever happened to me
>>40969178yeh, but they have for me, but they will never happen for me now, so how does that work if it's unchangeable or precise? I don't know if those exact things will happen to you, but you could probably make that 83% got up to 99% at least imho
>>40968569most people dont give a fuck and juat want to move on with their lives but do notice. they just don't say anything
