Well I finally finished my first journal today, and looking back through it? The most consistent theme in it is a completely all encompassing crushing sense of loneliness and abandonment. I have so many friends yet my dysphoria is so utterly all encompassing that any time I try to speak of it to a single person I know they shut it down because of the sheer self directed vitriol it comes with. There are not words in the English language that can describe the degree that I hate myself to.I have a social life yet I feel so alone. I live in a prison made of flesh. I want to rip my bars open and extract myself from within but I have no tools to do so. I want to blow up my prison and take myself from within it ending me in the process and yet I cannot because the people around me would be too upset.
Children who say they have gender dysphoria should be abandoned deep in the woods. You are narcissistic pigs.
>>40980914Brooding doesn't solve your problems.Finding solutions and/or copes, and working towards them, solves your problems.
>>40980914has journaling been good for you expressing your emotions? and if so what changes have you noticed as a result of journaling? I ask because I have been thinking of starting journaling myself. For both self expression and to improve my handwritingif you respond then thank you anon, I hope things get better for you soon, loneliness hurts so much, I’d rather relive being beaten by my dad everyday then deal with it any longer, I never could’ve imagined internal pain could hurt so much.
same
hmm. one of the things your self hatred grants you is superiority. it is insurmountable evidence that not only do you feel more than cissoids, but you can also learn from that. this level of knowledge and feeling additionally gifts you a superiority. a knowledge that no matter how much they may hate you no matter how horrible they see you as, will never hold a candle to what you feel toward yourself. these ignorants cannot hurt you because they cannot understand you. they never will feel any emotion, let alone hate, with the intensity that you do. these bitches are not shit. what you were trained and groomed into dressing like every other white girl, or dont own a mirror (for boys)? there is no gas in their engines or dirt they can throw to affect the salted field that is upon our soulds
>>40980936There are no fixes for male bone structure besides ffs which I will never afford.
>>40980971The only reason I took up journaling is because the sheer mass of my pain is enough that any time I try to talk about it I am immediately shut down by everyone around me even by the most emotionally open people I know. I have no words for my dysphoria besides immediately jumping to suicidality because of how fuckin bad it is.
