>>40988359
One trans girl in my group is kinda cute. A bit auristic, but cute. And her voice sounds great. She passes in a way that I could imagine her being one of my sister's friends and not really stick out.

>>40988359
i don't understand the point in staying here when i feel so fucking empty all the time. i barely even feel love for my partner because my brain feels like its being chipped away by stress to the point i can barely focus on anything because i just kinda want to give up on my life at this point

>>40988359
I repressed all my emotions so ferociously and for so long that I now do it instinctively and am incapable of genuinely feeling pretty much anything unless I consciously allow myself to and not even estrogen was enough to fix me :)

>>40988745
You need the kind of therapy where you smash and break a lot of stuff. Keep breaking it until you can't anymore and break.

>>40988359
I'm in love with 3 of my friends but one is in a relationship one has too much shit going on and one lives very far away and we don't speak that much anymore

>>40988745
Relatable. I did the same. I just don't experience anything fully anymore, things register at like a 1 or 2 even if they should be a 7 or 8. I still feel, but it's so muted it's like I'm experiencing the La Croix version of the feeling.
I just feel like a fake person most of the time, like I'm not as alive as everyone else.

bump

>>40989282
i fikin love lacroix

I'm in love with a guy and he thinks I'm totally cis gay male but he doesn't know about my disgusting estrogen induced cones and I'm very afraid for when he finds out

i'm so lonely that lately i've been falling asleep imagining that i'm cuddling with marina

>>40989829
Marina?

>>40989864
marina and the diamonds

>>40988359
I wanna get railed by a tranny or femboy

I get whatever I want forever

>>40989937
howw!??

ive been dating this guy for like almost 5 months now, we had sex like 3 times within the first month then havent since then. i just blow him everytime i see him and that's about it. for over a decade, i used to not mind this but now its sorta getting to me; i told him when i was drunk last time i saw him that i havent had an orgasm in like 13 years and never had a prostate orgasm. part of it is cause his previous relationship was kinda sexless and he fucked around a lot before that. it also doesnt help that he's out of my league physically while im just pretty average looking and ive gained some weight in the last few months barely fitting my clothes. he is the first guy in a few years that i actually can see a future with but im reaching a breaking point of never reaching some type of catharsis in general

Every day little things still remind me of you and it makes my heart sink every time
If you cared you'd just talk to me again but you won't so I know you don't and it makes me feel crazy how all of those mutual feelings and care for each other turned completely one-sided at the drop of a hat without any proper explanation
I'm trying to move on but it's taking me a longer than I would've thought

>>40990002
I desire nothing other fucking whores.

>>40990014
Happened to you too, eh? My sympathies, anon.
You get more and more numb to it over time.

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https://youtu.be/wlaQazA-UZo?si=Hf-FyOoYT46niscU

if i could go back in time to see you again i would. i still miss you. im sorry i let our friendship die. i hope to hear from you again one day

>>40990008
You’re getting used for your bussy dumb ass.

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>>40990040
Eh! rosebitch

>>40989892
If you had to pick one, which would you choose

>>40990049
coughs*

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why am i attracted to 'chud' metalheads? it doesnt make sense to me (maybe not all of them.. just the cute ones) because most of the time they are just insufferable assholes all sharp edges and bad attitudes
but sometimes seem into femboys and suddenly i see many times this harmless streak thats just begging for a little tenderness... and don't know they’re stupidly funny too sometimes
i mean it’s not like i’m obsessed or anything but i notice and sometimes they just pull my attention whether i want it or not

>>40989730
seriously? I thought these threads were active

>>40990015
But you paid a lot?

>>40988359
if my ex reached out to me right now I would take him back in an instant. He left me without saying goodbye and moved away. He was my first and only bf and he made me feel safe and secure for the first time in my life. When he left me every insecurity i had got reinforced and I started neglecting everything about myself. I worked out and went to college but every conversation i had with people was hollow. despite getting in the best shape of my life i have never been more disgusted with my body. The only thing I feel these days is animosity for everyone around me. Not to the point where I want to hurt them, but more like a disgust where I would be grossed out if they touched me or tried to form a bond with me. When he left its like he took my soul with him and I just want it all back. I miss when he would gently touch my face and call me his perfect boyfriend and kiss me. Sometimes I mutter his name to make myself feel better and I think about how he would refer to me as “my love”

>>40990121
What he did to you is evil you deserve the world

I ate the last bagel

>>40990146
he is my world. I want him back. if he came into my life again my obsession with him would be more unhealthy than ever. He would never get rid of me. Thats what he gets for dating a socially isolated virgin only to just disappear. He made me a worse person and I want him to carry the weight and suffer with me. It’ll be my version of heaven.

>>40990062
You’ve pretty much answered your own question, don't you think? and that’s fine, it’s kind of sweet, but at the end of the day, they’re still the same insufferable assholes you described, and they’re not worth your time.

>>40988359
Sometimes I think I should have repressed, but really it’s just that I should have been aborted

>go to sad thread
>muh bf
>muh friends
>muh family
Fuck all of you

I will always love you

>>40990082
No, I did not.

>>40990189
<33

I don't hate you for your steel-toed boots.

>>40990054
Tranny, but my optimal tranny. In real life on a more practical basis I’d choose femboy.

>>40988359
i didnt truly fall in all out retarded love with someone until i was 40, and it broke me. and i'm still fucked up about it, because we've fucked but our lives seem to be incompatible otherwise.

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>>40989282
>I just feel like a fake person most of the time
same. transition is touted as this thing that allows you to finally be "yourself" but the problem is that "myself" never really existed in the first place. I never developed into a normal, complete, healthy person. I never had the chance to. everything I became was a pale reflection of what others wanted from me as a masculinizing male. I masked for so many years that the mask isn't really even a mask anymore, it's who I am. or at least part of it, I don't know. I basically girlmode now but that perversion on my body and soul is a stain that will never leave. girlmoding is only another mask, in a way, one that I choose to wear to feel less wrong. my body will never feel like my body without surgery. my words will never be my own unless I twist them. I will never sing and hear my voice, because it belongs to the girl I allowed to die. everything I try to be now is an echo of what should be. so yes, in a way I really am "less" alive

I guess it's nice to know that I'm not alone, at least in some things. hugs anon

>>40990261
I did that once in high school cried like a little bitch and then got over it forever.

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I wish you knew just how worthy of love you were, I know you will with someone else one day

I had so much fun talking to you and I know it's my fault you decided to stop talking to me, I just had to be honest and my ex is an expert manipulator, I honestly believed she was changing, guess that seeing me happy talking to you, the way my face shined each time I received your messages made her perform unexpected acts of fake kindness and love, taking me out to nice places, buying me food I liked, even showing support but it was all just to avoid losing her free maid, once she felt she had me secured again it all stopped abruptly, now I'm drowning in sadness without you and I can't ask you to come back to me as it was all my fault.
I feel so stupid, I miss you, I fucking miss talking to you.

it hurts deeply

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>40988359
i love my gf very dearly but she has come out as asexual last year and we havent fucked since then. and ive been starting to feel my self worth decline since then, bc i already struggle to view myself as attractive or anything that isnt hideous. but now it feels so much more amplified. we used to have sex when we first met and she did call me hot back then, but i just dont feel hot anymore. i dont feel sexually wanted at all anymore and it makes me feel like im gross or too gross for her to want to touch.

>>40990348
Same, one and only person I ever loved. I don’t really believe full adults can even fall in love as a result. You have until like 20, maybe 22 and then it’s over.
I still look them up once every year or two.

>>40990641
what!? :(

>>40990014
It happened again just now
That song you showed me (one of literally hundreds) came on in something I scrolled across
Made the mistake of going to listen to the whole thing and reading the lyrics and I almost spiraled
I need to stop letting myself fall into those moments and just shove them aside
At least I didn't fully break down this time so I am getting better little by little
>>40990024
Yeah this is brutal for now
I know it'll pass eventually

when i close my eyes for the last time this year i can rest knowing everyone can be relieved that im finally gone
it’s the only way i can fulfill every requirement all at once
one day you’ll all forget me as you all should and need to
i knew it would end like this for a long time and that i was living on borrowed time but i wanted hope that i could just move past it
nothing will ever fix what’s inside because i never told anyone what it is
also look at >>40990761 for validation that i always really was worth less than anyone
there was a window where i could have had the pieces missing from me placed but thats long passed
when they pick up my brain and skill fragments from the trees up north you can all sleep soundly knowing ill never come back
i’ll never look for any of you again so please don’t come looking for me or anyone that seems like me again

there won’t be more of me and i’ll make sure of it because there won’t be anything left of what i was

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>I woke up over an hour ahead of my alarm this morning after having a strange nightmare.

>I went to go see a girl this weekend, another transgirl, she's a fair bit older than me though, but as such was very experienced and very comforting, and its pretty easy to say it was one of the best weekends I've had in a very long time.
>she made dinner and then we watched a movie and cuddled and fell asleep together, we also did some things one might consider sex, and despite all that we didn't kiss, at least not on the lips. mostly because she's a bit weird and particular about it
>she did give me a nice forehead kiss when we were saying goodnight to eachother though, and we both kissed eachother on the face, cheeks and neck a lot the next morning too before I had to leave that afternoon
>I was up earlier than I wanted to and tired all day as a result just because I wanted to spend more time with her in the morning

>the dream I had was about me watching her pursue and ask out two of my other friends openly in like a discord server, for some reason, and after trying to talk to her in it about seeing that I then woke up in a panic and started crying. the dream was a lot like how things ended with other people I had been seeing for a while before, and it made me realize how much I was full of such a deep fear of her doing the same
>what's worse is it made me realize I had definitely caught a fair amount of feelings for her, and I'm not all that sure how to handle or express that yet
>I also realized just how traumatizing my past relationships were and how it affected my ability to trust if someone's feelings or interest in me is genuine
>even if I do have feelings and she maybe feels the same way I know I'm not yet ready for a relationship, and I'm not sure when I will be

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>>40992009
I feel stuck now, stuck and scared, and I have all day
I'm scared to ask her how she feels about things, or to tell her I have feelings, and if she sees it as us just being friends or anything more. because what if she doesn't feel the same way entirely, and maybe for my sake she realizes we should maybe stop seeing eachother

also just in general I'm afraid of this, because I know if she doesn't feel the same way and things continue it might not end well for me at all. and she's so nice to me and so sweet and the last thing I'd want is for her to end up hurting me, I don't want her to feel that guilt if that's how it goes and things don't work out, because I feel like she's too good for that. but at the same time she has plenty of reason not to. for starters even if we're both in our 20s she's still about 6 years older than me, and that might be a little weird for her if it was anything more than a sex thing to either of us, because its a bit of a weird thing for me too, but its just about the only thing that I feel weird about at all with her specifically. also she seems rather particular about certain things, I mean she was quite particular about kissing, and seems to see it as more intimate than sex, at least more emotionally intimate, and as much as I wanted to ask last time and I know I will again this time, I think I'm a little too scared to ask to kiss her, especially because if she gives me a hard enough no then I'll know for sure how she feels, and it might just destroy me. and if she says yes, I might not be the most sure either still, cause of how scared and insecure I get

I'm just confused, scared, and not sure what to do, because I don't know how to handle having feelings, and I'm scared of the idea of falling in love with somebody again

>>40988359
I'm transitioning because I want to be a shemale bimbo. Plain and simple. No joke.

>>40990014
I really hope this isn't about me :X

i still wanna get revenge

dbz is a manchildren anime
im never going to accept you Lol