How can I tell whether I'm dysphoric if I feel nothing?Looking in the mirror makes me feel nothing, looking at my body makes me feel nothing, socializing as a man makes me feel nothing, sexually I feel nothing. All I have is absolute detachment from everything.Only exception is my general discontent towards being a man. I've put in the effort in trying to be the best man I could be, and it never reached a point of being fulfilling. My own wants and desires completely elude me. I feel like I don't qualify as a human to begin with
>>41023083I’m also not a human being. I don’t have any answers for you bud.
>>41023092Have you read the book No Longer Human written by Osamu Dazai. I've never related so viscerally to a character before reading that book
I just wish I were human
>>41023208Yeah it’s pretty good. I’d also recommend>Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage>Earthlings by Sayaka Murata>Why be Happy When You Could be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson
>>41023630This motivated me to pick up reading again
bump
>>41023083Feeling nothing can very well be a sign of dysphoria, but isn't necessarily. You'll just have to try to connect to your emotions again
fpbp
>>41023083from my limited knowledge dissasociation is definetley big sign of dysphoria but it can be a standalone issue or trauma response . but considering you are here i would say it likley is
>>41026147I don't even know whether I am actually dissociated, or whether this is just how I am as a person. Nothing else comes to mind that could've caused me to be so detached from myself. No trauma, nor anything else. All I know is that I'm not like trans nor cis people, nor like any person I actually know. I feel like the puppet and puppeteer at the same time
>>41026376actually an kinda relate. but now i dont know if am doing hrt just for the sense of control or if there is something deeper but it helped me a lot and will continue regardless
>>41026616That's my plan as well desu. Sometimes I freak out, because I can't tell what I actually want from my life, but then I remind myself that there's a reason why I'm doing this. I'm unable to connect to my body, but I'd at least prefer my vessel to not turn into an ogre due to testosterone
>>41027267>Sometimes I freak out, because I can't tell what I actually want from my life, but then I remind myself that there's a reason why I'm doing thisSo this but i also dont think i have anything much to lose since am 165cm tall look like 14 year old and my friends ar bunch of douchbags i actually hate .Am also a fucking idiot for thinking i would get some respect in the army yeah i was a fricking laughstock but it was nice to be hit on by other guys
>>41027461165cm is truly lucky. No wonder you were a laughingstock in the army. It's better that way, since all military institutions are evil in nature.I'm 175cm and I considered myself quite lucky, since it's just a bit over the female average where I live. Unfortunately the rest of me looks like a man, so it's not like not being tall will help too much
>>41028110I guess i really am tho you made me feel a bit more delusional than than needed tho i always adored warfare because how it forces humanity to its limit whether by greed or sheer stupidity and on individual level its the almost poetic that personal suffering can be meaningful for a higher purpose But yeah its evil no matter how you look at it
>>41029110>i always adored warfare because how it forces humanity to its limit whether by greed or sheer stupidity and on individual level its the almost poetic that personal suffering can be meaningful for a higher purposeThis is based. Unfortunately there is no higher purpose that justifies the bloodshed that military institutions bring.
