i don't regret transitioning. i would have killed myself otherwise. but there we so many consequences to that decision. losing friends. losing a partner of 5 years. i have to contend with the reality i can never have children. that i may be single for an agonizingly long time. i was an average, decent-looking guy. but i had to set myself back because my brain insisted i needed to be a girl.
>>41023781and what would you recommend for people who are constantly fantasizing about transition vs suicide but will never actually act on it? what would you do if you knew you wouldn't kys (since your post is predicated on that) but would still fantasize about it forever? do you still ever fantasize about it?
>>41023832nta but to anyone agonizing over this sort of thing i recommend hrt-repping. if you're going to become an old man, you might as well be as pretty an old man as possible :)completely irrelevant: somebody a while ago asked if i had ever thought about writing because of a syntactical joke i made about the above statement (not made here); anon if you are here i appreciate those words and am still thinking about them. the thread died so i never got to respond, so i never got to thank you. no i have not, but i do like to write sometimes. i'm not very good at it.
>>41023832it's a remarkably individual decision, at least in my opinion. everyone's unique and with enough rumination, you'll come to a conclusion on your own.obviously, don't commit suicide. and never rep for the sake of anyone else; you'll do extensive damage to yourself and whoever you're with.you have to do what's in your best interest at the end of the day, even if it's petrifying.i repped for five years and it was the worst decision of my life. it's not something i could have sustained for a lifetime.
>>41023781Why did she break up with you anon have you found a new girlfriend since or are you also a lonely tranny?
>>41023906ty hrt-repping is pretty much what i do and it helps but sometimes dysphoria flares up but when it does i just brace myself and remind myself it will pass and it always does, and i talked with a passing trans girl last week and she said the dysphoria never goes away so i'm thinking "repping" is the move for me, but not having a proper label for what i am makes describing myself to others complicated. i wish nonbinary weren't so cringe or there were some other label for people like this because there seems to be a lot of us, secretly.i like writing too, only in my journal because i'm not very good either (not judging you, just seconding, your post seems well written to me). what do you like to write about?>>41023935ty, that's all very true. i'm really glad you're doing better and sorry for derailing your thread, but thanks for making it.
>>41024137i was actually the one to break things off with her. at the end of the day, i couldn't be the man she desperately wanted me to be and she never trusted me again after i told her. there's more to the story than that, but i'd rather not get into all that here.but to answer you're question, i'm still single. i've had a few partners here and there but nothing long-term since. it's been one of the harder things i've had to heal from.>>41024140> thank you anon.
>>41024140also no need to apologize. :)
hey op i'm also sorrybut here are another two bumps for your thread, because i am a parody of myself>>41024140i'm glad that it seems to be working for you :) having a way to abate that dysphoric feeling is so important, i think, especially if you're deciding to not transition.do you feel nonbinary? like, idenify with that sort of term? i like to think of myself that way, privately, but it's not something i really communicate to anyone for that same reason (ie that it is "cringe" or at least not understood enough for anyone to take seriously). i do think it is legitimate, though, and if you really feel that way, you should own it! or don't; it is, of course, up to you ;pcutting off the unimportant part for characters. ridiculously, in a literal sense
>>41024140here's the resti'm glad you think i write well...i was sort of embarrassed that i had posted something saying those things without having first proofread it for redundant/awkward wording (i hadn't meant to say both "never got to respond" and "never got to thank you"; it was supposed to be just the latter) and verisimilitude (my saying "no, i haven't [thought about writing]" and then immediately thereafter "i like to write". i had meant more that i hadn't thought about writing anything for publication. at least not seriously) but i digress (extremely). i used to keep a journal but don't anymore because the writing always just got sad and neurotic; someone told me i should start again because i want to keep a scrapbook and i still haven't. maybe someday i'll get off my figurative ass and do that. what i like to write nowadays is stuff like this (basically just talking, but i like to think i have sort of developed my own style of doing so, although i worry it comes off annoyingly (eg the tedious length (upon now finishing this post i see it is over two hundred characters past the limit); the diction/phrasing; my tendency to, i think, overexplain, which causes stupid things like these nested parentheses here) hence my being on 4chan: less about which to be embarrassed), but recently i have been trying to write very specific and colorful descriptions of particular feelings as i experience them, and most recently i described the fictional setting of a crime, minus the crime i had imagined, which was sort of meant to be cathartic (and was, i guess, at the time, though then i had intended to also describe the crime) but now i think about as just sort of weird. what do you write about?
>>41023781>cant have childrenGood. Its evil to create life imo, adoption is the only positive way of raising a child
all that stuff is temporary anyways, in the end the only thing you will always have is yourself
>>41023781I have a solution for you.
