I'm on hrt and still not sure.

>>41106395
Going to therapy, making all of my other depression manageable and realizing I was still horribly depressed about my body every second of every day. Realizing it's not normal to have aggressively painful reactions to seeing yourself in the mirror and disassociating because existence itself feels numb and wrong

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There were always signs. I am 25 and MtF.

I recall often fantasizing about showing up to school one day dressed as a woman. I believe this fantasy started in elementary school, but once I reached freshman year of high school it became more "profound". I would sit there in class, thinking about how I wanted to tell everyone i was switching schools, then the next day show up as a female "new student." I would stuff a bra, wear cute women's clothes, and talk like a girl.

When I was a junior, I started to come to terms with being bisexual. During senior year, I realized I was trans and began growing my hair out. The dysphoria began hitting me hard at 18, and there were multiple times where I just broke down and cried. I was so angry at being born this way, I just wanted to be normal! I often told myself that I wish I was never born. I flunked out of college, and was stuck working at Papa John's. I had failed.

When I was 20, I came out to my mother. I told her during a therapy appointment. A few months later I started HRT. After around a year of boymoding I told my father. When I was 21, the drinking started.

I went back to college for history, started laser hair removal, and even started presenting as a female in University, where I knew I would be tolerated. I was still not quite passable, and was frequently misgendered.

I graduated college, and by this point my drinking was getting worse. I spent the next few years in a deep depression, because I was being hondosed and thought I was not passable.

When I was 24, I met a man. A big Greek guy my age, who was currently in grad school for math. We started dating, and he slowly began helping me with passing. He encouraged me to start wearing sun dresses, and he suggested new haircuts I could try. For the first time in my life, I was beginning to feel confident in my own body.

Today, I have never been happier. I have a bf, I pass, and I am in grad school.

Groomed

>>41106395
It‘s been a long time since I‘ve seen this image.

>>41106395
i was never a normal boy. during my 10+ years i started to get very sad over my masculine primary and secondary sexual characteristics and tried to make myself look as feminine as posible without people making fun of me, and still my dad asked me if "i had gender problems" when i was 15y, and all my friends joked that i was trans or bet when i was going to transition. when i was like 14 i liked to watch mtf timelines on youtube when i was on the bed with my phone. it was like 2017? so trans people werent THAT mainstream. i remember i watched a girl called chloe arden talking about her transition, and i was very jealous of her, i think shes not even famous anymore these days lol
i kinda knew at that age but tried to repress, and came into terms i wouldnt be able to at 18y

Always knew something was 'off' about me. Hated roughhousing and violence of other boys in school and wanted to be friends with the girls who I noticed got treated so much better. I also was jealous of how they got to dress.

in middle school I do try and toughen up a little bit but it was forced and half ass and secretly I wanted to be a girl. I even chose a girl's name as my alter ego and started writing fake dairy entries as her as I imagined what my day as a girl would have been like. Little surprise when in puberity hits and I like boys sexually. Eventually I do stop writing the dairy entries out of fear of them being discovered.

HS was much the same, the only problem was that is was the mid 00s midwest so people were still openly calling gays fags, and transgenderism was basically unheard of so I just kept it buried inside me. My drama teacher did allow me to crossdress some with the female costumes.

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>>41106395
When I was 11 I realised I liked boys, that I was gay. Issue is, I could never imagine myself as a man dating another man, no matter what, it would never happen.
Then, when I was 14 or 15 idk, it started to hit me that the obvious solution would be to become a woman. I never felt good being a boy, I was scared of what that implied for my future. I was also depressed as shit.
Anyways, solving my gender identity allowed me to solve my depression, I started transitioning at 15. I am 21 now.

I was diagnosed autistic at 18. I am thankful I obsessed with kpop instead of anime girls when I was 12 or I could have ended up worse. Weebs are crazy. I still read manga because I am a faggot loser ofc.

Despite the fact that I've been living as a woman for 4 years now I often still feel like I am a gay boy, unconfident and unsure, but that sensation is not permanent as back then.

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>>41106793
>thank god I only read Manga and listen to kpop and am a tranny, weebs are crazy!

>>41106395
if you realized you are trans then you're a trender.

identity is man or woman.

if you identify as trans or realized you were trans then you aren't. you don't get it.

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>>41106930
>identity is man or woman

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>>41106395
i'm not entirely sure if i had a "oh fuck" realization, but i always kind of knew. when i was a kid, i always preferred cutesy girly things to the more drab boyish things people expected me to like. as well, i just kind of. innately considered myself a girl for years, even if it was subconscious. i would always get happy whenever people thought i was a girl online. when my mom explained how marriage worked, i was adamant my last name would change (and that was when i was two). when i entered puberty, i hated having body hair so much that i would literally try to cut all of it off using scissors since my family wouldn't get me a razor. i felt so gross when i had it and it felt so uncomfortable. when i finally did get a razor, i would shave my entire body twice a day. at first i thought trannies were weak, mentally ill, and never passed, which initially kept me from transitioning but when i turned 16, i kept having dreams where i was a girl for some reason and it became to much for me. i came out when i was 18 when i realized i could actually pass and started hrt at 19. my life is infinitely better and transitioning was unironically one of the best decisions i've ever made.

>>41106917
Ok but like what I mean is that if I was obsessed with anime instead of kpop as a kid I would just be weirder and have a harder time socializing with Women and such. I think my point makes sense.

Anime nowadays is just for normies, while kpop is still the domain of weird autistic women mostly.

>>41106395
I just felt different growing up and my parents loved telling this story about how they thought I was gonna be a girl until I was born. To me it explained why I felt the way I did but something happened and caused that to change, and now I was stuck with the outcome and I should make the best of it.
Then I learned you can transition

>>41109786
We have the exact same story. I could've written this word for word myself

>>41106395
>how did you realize you were trans
not realize but i basically fell into the role of pretty unmasculine eunuch and went from there. growing up, kids more or less filtered me, and even though I had masculine interests I never was really accepted? girls liked me a lot more and a lot of my childhood memories were me idly letting a girl in my class braid a section of my hair or talking about some vaguely girly book or whatever. time went on and then I got filtered by normies as a whole, made friends with the weird queer kids, and kind of just fell into being a troon.

>>41106395
i was scrolling tumblr and came across a text post defining what a trans person was (i didnt know people could do that) and i came out the next day

>>41106395
SA trauma, porn addiction, social contagion

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>>41106395
I was a bi sexual cross dresser faggot then I took acid made me AGP for 5 years then I actually got on HRT and made me into a """real""" woman.

>>41106395
I didn't because being trans is fake and gay and just impossible to live as. Life fucking sucks and I wish I was never born

fashion desu. and depression. idk my whole timelines messed up in my head. i was repressed everything my whole life before 14. severe emotional repression. i always kinda felt uncomfortable about my genitals and didn’t like them and wanted them to be flat. i knew i liked guys and i felt different. but i didn’t believe it. i was raised catholic so i was like from the beginning constantly feeling bad about myself and guilty for me sins and that im wrong. and i thought i just had to not sin. i thought i could pray it away. i got my first body hair at 12. and i ripped it out and cried. that was when my depression and suicidal thoughts started. at 13 i started wanting to wear girls clothes and i got jealous of girls. i started randomly just wishing i was a girl at night while i was praying. i started looking on the internet about boys wearing girls clothes and it confused me but i was also interested like i found out about rupaul and was interested in it for like a week but then felt immense guilt and started repressing again. covid hit when i was 13/14 and i had a lot of time to think about stuff. so i stopped emotionally repressing. work thru other unrelated traumas i had. read about trauma recovery and how u have to accept ur feelings and not push them away. then my gay and tranny thoughts came back. it’s cringe and agp as fuck but it was 2020 and i was 14 so what fucking ever don’t @ me but the fashion aspect to all this is cus seeing femboys on tiktok LMFAO was like a stepping stone because i felt too much shame abt actually trying to see myself as a woman. so i started like experimenting with hair and nails and skincare and it made me feel better and okay less depressed. i accepted i was bi. accepted i was trans. whole lot of shit happened. boymoded/stayed closeted for 2 years bcs evil catholic school and evil dad. puberty started & i tried 2 kms. failed obv cus im writing this. started hrt at 16. 19 now. still recovering and working on transition.
1/2

>>41111783
i prob would’ve stayed repressing and then realized in 20s if not for covid desu. republikkkantards will complain about “social contagion” when what they’re acc mad about is trannies being able 2 realize and transition while they can still change the course of their life instead of just repressing until they’re 60 then die.

anyways faketrans agp or truetrans lmk
2/2

>>41106395

I realized when I was 15 cause I had a repper friend, unfortunately he groomed me into not transitioning for years so I repressed until I was 23, funnily enough I didn't masculinize at all between then so my transition outcome wouldn't have been affected at all, I had went through all the big changes by the time I was 14. If I realized earlier I would've for sure found a way to transition, but I don't know how well DIY shit was in 2012 - 2013.

>>41111783
> covid hit when i was 13
What a fucking flashbang.

>>41111898
lmfao. cus cringe agp coded or cus ur old

saw gilticus on twitch for the first time when I was symptomatic with dysphoria in my entire world fell apart

>>41106395
I shoulda forrcefemmed moot when I had the chance
now hes too old

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>>41106395
When I was younger, I would always think about what it would be like to be a girl. I was obsessed with the ideas of shapeshifting and crossdressing, and I would always wonder what it would be like to go through female puberty. I didn't really call it that at the time. I remember when my cousin was around middle school age, I tried to basically ask her what it was like to have boobs, but like, indirectly, because I knew even at that age that it was not decent to ask someone such a thing. On that note, I recall stuffing my shirt with wadded up shirts or inflatable balls to simulate a pregnant belly or having boobs. I also prayed to God that he would turn me into a girl.
Around middle school, I started to have stronger feelings about these things. By then, I had started using the internet and that introduced me to the idea of being transgender, but I was also deep in the anti-SJW stuff at the time, so I would tell myself that I wasn't like them. Even so, I would still be quite fascinated with the idea. I saw it on TV a few times, too. This would only get stronger when I started using 4chan. I became interested in crossplay and more and more thought about how I wanted to be feminine and pretty and how that's something I really wanted.
It became very bad during highschool. I used Covid as an excuse to stop going, because being around all the girls made me feel incredibly sad. I began to really really hate my body, and I also decided that as soon as possible, I would get on HRT. I felt like I was constantly suffering by not being on it, and I was afraid of getting more and more masculine. Now, I'm 20 and a year and a half on HRT, although I still boymode and will need FFS to fully pass.
I always used to hang out with girls, and people thought I was gay when I was a kid, before I ever even considered any form of sexuality. Despite having a pretty normal boy childhood, I think being transgender is how I would've always ended up, the more I remember things.

i was walking into a mexican restaurant with my mom and dad when i was 13 and a really beautiful trans woman walked past us as we were walking thru the parking lot and smiled at me. i remember feeling like i got struck by lightning as she smiled at me and just immediately knew i was like her. there were always signs, i was always getting in trouble with my parents and teachers for being too girly and i had trouble getting along with boys. but that was when i realized why everything was the way it was. this happened in 2008 and i am 30 years old now. i have been on HRT since I was 19.

>>41112182
That's honestly a really funny and interesting story. How is your life now?

>>41112192
my life is good. i have a good social life and careerwise i am quite happy. im currently working on my phd in molecular biology and plan to go into industry doing medical research. my teenage years and early 20s were very difficult and i experienced extreme distress at certain points, but i feel like i have finally found peace and my self-esteem is great. nobody in my personal life knows i am trans and i think that is a big part of how i managed to stabilize my mental health, but i am planning on coming out to them soon. once i get to a point in my career where i am making good money and not on a grad student stipend (40k/year in a HCOL area lmfao) i want to use my money to help other trans girls go thru school like me.

>>41111001
Whaaa? No way
Did they also pretend like they never said that? Or wildly change the story after you told them?

>>41106395
I started working at some super woke company, like so cringingly woke that they wasted our time with training on new terms for certain tech shit (like we couldn't call it a "gender changer" any more, or "male" and "female" plugs).
it became clear to me that i had to list pronouns, and i just couldnt fucking list THOSE pronouns. But this is also why I quit the place, they made it really fucking weird

I was crossdressing and sending pics to Russian women and they were telling me I'm a girl.

>>41112729
Haven't told them anything yet, but I know that they'll be in so much denial when I'll do. I even have a cousin two years younger that got the girl name my parents thought about giving me

>>41106395
puberty

>>41112146

i did the pregnant belly thing too since i was 5 but i thought it was a fetish for 25 years even though my secret crossdressing was progressively more secret and more feminine. i was never successful romantically, most women i dated refused to tell me why they broke up with me. one of my ex girlfriends told me i was like an actress i really liked and i grinned. my last girlfriend told me that being with me and kissing me made her feel like a lesbian. she also told me that if i wanted to be the one who is pregnant, i should strongly consider that im trans. i denied it for so long and 4chan helped with the repping for 4 years and i loved those disgusting gorillamoder memes because it affirmed that i will never pass. ironically, i live in a country where such things are never discussed seriously. i hate those people who hidden the truth from me, i hate them so damned much, those cruel evil people laughing and having their lives. in a weird way, bless my last ex-girlfriend who had the galls to point me in the right direction even though i spent years trying to accept it myself.

but eventually i couldn't run away from the truth after being alone and being spiritually and socially a recluse trying to avoid feminine things. every time i look at my female coworkers and old college friends having families, getting pregnant, a piece of me died inside. eventually this pain accumulates and i realise i couldn't lie to myself any longer. it will catch up to you like a chip in your soul.

it hurts too much and i have to face my truth or commit sudoku. i don't even care i will look like a laughing stock any longer, it's that bad now. no one understands. i envy and root for the younger transwomen who figured it out when they are in their 20s. i don't expect cis people to understand any more.

tldr: wasted 35 years of my life thinking it was a fetish and believing blanchard bullshit, dont be me

When i saw my balding father who acts miserable.

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>>41106395
i think my story is probably pretty boring but i basically found out when people started talking more about lgbt stuff on the internet in like 2014ish. when i was little i was always sad that girls got to have a vagina while i was stuck with this stupid gross penis and i recall looking up stuff like "man with a vagina" in the mid 2000s and thinking those people were so lucky to have been born like that and being so pissed that i couldn't have been one of those guys. i wanted to be a girl, but really it was just about the vagina until i hit puberty, which was around the time i learned that those people were transgender and NOT born that way and that i could change myself if i wanted to. i started getting wildly dysphoric about my masculinizing body and transitioned immediately when i turned eighteen
a bunch of stuff happened in between but it didn't rly have anything to do with my discovering i could trans

>>41106566
I get that, desu. I just don't want to be a woman.
I'd just be a gigantic six foot woman. It would hardly help matters.

>>41106395
could only get horny to imagining myself as the transgirl in trans porn. always crossdressed my whole life up until exposure to that.

>>41114779
I asked mine for what girl names they had picked out and they refuse to answer me. My mom has been pretty adamant that she doesn't believe me since I never showed signs. Be ready for that and having them cling to any doubt or worry you express as evidence that you're not trans and it's just a phase. Keep any of that to yourself or close friends

>>41106395
so basically i only realized around 17 but i used to be the stereotypically flamboyant gay boy who would crossdress and even play female lead of the theatre group lol

>>41115273
My issue is more that I'm still struggling to accept myself as trans, so I'm not trying to prove it to anyone else yet. I barely remember my childhood and teen years, so I can't tell at all whether I had any signs or tranny thoughts, but from the second I learned about hrt, I became obsessed with the thought of transitioning and avoiding any further damage testosterone could inflict.
There technically were some minor signs, but it feels like I have to contort the memories I do have for them count as signs, no matter how trutrans they may be. It really feels like I'm gaslighting myself into being a tranny, since I've been so extremely depersonalized since puberty and this is just a desperate attempt to feel like a human again. I don't know who I am, I'm unable to truly desire anything nor derive any fulfillment from life, so I don't really have anything to lose by trying the troon option.
If I do ever come out to my parents, they'll be in some really deep denial, and I know they'll continue to still see me as their son, but I couldn't care less. I'm doing this for myself and myself alone

>>41112182
>>41112233
your story is kind of super admirable, I’m studying mech e right now and I have kinda accepted the fact that I will never have a real career bc of family and trans stuff if it’s okay could you add me on disc or smth I wanna pick ur brain and ask some questions abt ur life @emiii628

>>41106395
when I was in 2nd grade I asked my best friend if we could tell each other our deepest secrets I forgot what he said but I said and I quote”I wanna be a girl when I grow up” maybe if I had the mental awareness at the time I could have reflected on why I said that and I could have been a giga ultra young shit
I had the stereotypical sister dressing you up when I was 3-5 this i remember so well and i remember being so so ashamed of myself I thought anyone who saw me had the ultimate blackmail
I was very ashamed but I would be obsessed with like the trans house episode and I repped into high school
also i remember being so disgusted when I first got body hair it scared me so bad, when I showered I would wrap a towel around my chests and stomach as if it was a dress when covid hit I was like 13 and I got on incel right wing TikTok and I repped for a while than maybe my junior year of hs I started hanging out with a more queer group dated this trans guy and he kind of helped me realize this is a thing I could be we broke up I knew I needed to start hrt I started my freshman year of college family found out and we had a big fight they took it now I’m waiting to start diy at 19, I’ll probably start in the next month ideally I’ll manmode/boymode through college and that will be that then I will be free

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>>41116591
>when covid hit I was like 13
good for you for taking control of your life thought nona :) good luck with your transition

>>41116591
You're very lucky to realize this early. Just remember to visit a fertility doctor to discuss options before doing HRT. as long as you start before 25, you have a chance of real happiness.

>>41116591
also remember to moisturize after shaving yyour legs, u dont want to have monstr legs like me where there are scars when i plucked all my leg hair out as i freaked out when i was in high shcool when i got leg hair, it's gross and i have to use a ton of skincare products to fix them

>>41111060
social contagion nvke

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>>41106395
Well... I was always a bit trans (from what I am aware of).

As a child when I was 8 I never felt comfortable with boy stuff and always ended up on group with female classmates or autistic boys, then I changed school and city. Still I keep memories of asking my mom if I can go to an all girl school that was near the house, she told me that no because I was a boy.

I remember at age of 11 starting to get into puberty and started to hate my body because it felt pleasure and I feel disgust by that, I also started to wonder what if I just dress like a girl, that somehow would erase the feelings. I try some clothes from my big sis and I felt okay (?), I didn't have a boner neither pleasure I just look at myself and felt an almost soothing effect.

Life kept going and I got into manga, now I finally found a place where all those weird feelings could go. The thing is that... that yearn didn't stop, I got a girlfriend by the age of 14, we copulate by 15 and... I felt awful for exploring other girl's body. I hit rock bottom. I told my mother crying that I will never be a girl and I feel horrible by that, she told me that I could do whatever I want when I got a job and become an adult, that made repress the feelings

I started calling myself gay for not enjoying sex, I started to reject any type of female being or attribute in order to protect them (I even start growing facial hair). I keep with studies and because I am a smart ass I entered a uni (I was around 19), got a boyfriend and feel disociated whenever he touched me or call me his boy so... I wasn't gay (?), my whole identity collapsed and I just didn't know what the fuck to do with my life.

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>>41117463

(2/2)

Then I was reading Bokura no Hentai, goated manga, and whenever Marika showed her trans feelings I started to cry and my fucking brain fucking got wired. I tried to repress it and become more chud, more reactionary but... the existential dread of keep growing up and being remember as a man made me feel FEAR. I started DIY and dated a theyfab from my uni, although the relationship was short they made me realize that I could be loved as a tranny. Sadly they used me as a sexual object and then dumped me to date an actual man but... I don't care that much these days.

Now my mother knows that I am on HRT and... she is trying her best to be a good mother and advice her new daughter to become a good woman. Is this the good ending? I don't think so but is neither the bad one.

>>41106395
you try hrt and are pretty happy with it but still not entirely sure. then you run out one day and realise how horrible it was being without and and that's when you know you're in it for life

i used to sit alone at lunch and imagine myself as an anime girl, and then I got fantasies where I was a girl and I had to put effort in to change that. Then I started getting the feeling around my friends and it made me bitter and isolated when it came on.

It took several years for me to figure out something was deeply wrong.

>>41116631
I was about to tell you to get off 4chan but turns out 2019 was 6 years ago and you're 18... Crazy how time works...

My bad. I meant >>41119434
For >>41116591

>>41116689
I know i would like to have kids one day, adopting would also be very nice but who knows I see my self as evil and unlovable and who would marry someone trans but maybe

>>41106395
I just never really wanted to be a man, i wanted puberty blockers as a kid but i never really had the confidence to ask, eventually my body changed and I realized id need hrt and surgery to not be a man

>>41119434
>>41119453
it is awful, though, isn't it? t. >>41116631

its something I realized during covid, 2 years after I realized I liked boys too, it rly hurts thinking about it now considering the country im from the lgbt community is massively repressed and underground and people who are open get chewed out hard, I grew up religious especially since my father's death, my entire school life ive spent never interracting with anyone, literally in the same jacket, same buzzed hair basically never thinking about presenting myself because i never percieved myself, looking back its the most obvious shell ive developed to block out any internal thoughts but looking into it there were some other rly obvious signs, despising my erections, body hair, the way my wide shoulders framed my body made me cry, that caused me to never wear anything tight that framed my shoulders in the slightest, this got to a point where i would be walking in a winter jacket in the middle of summer consisntently, i still hate my voice to this day but like im working on it its definitely better now, mid covid i discovered trans people, even though i accepted that i liked men aswell it felt nausiating thinking of me actually being trans like in a way where its something unavoidable that i knew internally and was trying to delay from accepting. i also got really fascinated with how boobs changed ones body frame and made it look so different, how much more natural wearing certain clothes became with them mind you this is about regular unisex tops but the thought of having them framing my body was giving me butterflies...
1/2

>>41121182
i did slowly accept it but didnt really adress it after that considering how powerless i felt in chainging anything, i thing the worst thing wasnt the society that is more hateful of queer folk then many african nations or the legislation against trans peoples' existance, the worst thing is that i never got to interact with trans people irl (even now) ever experience a sense of shared struggle or community that stings me the HARDEST, and i mean it makes sense i spent most of my school years being unapproachable and it didnt rly change with uni, since day one i feel out of place there too.

Because its illegal to transition here ive been looking at diy but also putting it off for too long, ive created a dream scenario where i got to live in europe (specifically france coz i love the place and im hard focusing on learning the language for two years now just for this) and transition there but that seems more and more unrealistic now.. still my brainstate is much better and ive been improving on alot of things so i hope this works out or ill be rly dissapointed jsss.
2/2

>>41116522
i sent u a request :)

>>41106395
>how did you realize you are trans
I wanted to follow a hot chicken into the women's bathroom but the bouncer stopped me.

>>41119621
I don't believe you are evil and unlovable <3

Having children was very important to me which is why I repped really hard. I'm 36 now and just realizing that all my ex girlfriends were bi and they never saw me as a guy but we didn't have the language to express it until we learned about all the LGBT stuff online and it just clicked. I'm only beginning exploring and acceptance now. I admit it is much harder when you are younger because young shits have to worry about finances, romance, their own self identity, education, vocational training.

>>41106395
>slowly started wearing more women's clothing
>wearing dresses a lot in my spare time
>get beard and chest lasered bc it felt good
>eventually started hrt
>decided to keep doing it

damn i'm fake trans i guess but idk it's been fun

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im going to sound like a trender talking abt it but

was a big conservative boy in teens. didnt hate trannies just thought they were weird and ugly(they still are but thats okay) never activelly felt like a woman or desperately wanted to be one. was maybe jealous that they were pretty and people were nicer to them but thats the extent of it I think. that and just not liking my body but I was super skinny and weak

started developing a curiosity around it all. learned hrt was a thing. saw some yt videos talking about gender. Started introspecting.

read a story of a trans person and resonated with it so profoundly I genuinely wept. It sorta all hit me at once. sorta like "wait I shouldn't be relating to any of this."

Did alot of reading and research and just got very depressed and confused. just starting hrt now. took me two years of doubt. still dont know for sure but I dont care anymore. Im happier now at the minimum.

idc if not realizing until 20 makes me a trender or something. I dont really understand dysmorphia anyway.

how are you supposed to tell if the reason you dont like looking in the mirror is because you want to be a woman or just because you dont like what you see? i struggled with that but im just retarded and autistic so its probably easier for other people to understand why they feel certain feelings more precisely. I worked out for awhile thinking it was bc i was a skinny stick boy and it felt good to make progress in something and get exercise but I eventually fell off of it. I just plateued and still didnt exactly like what I saw even after gaining weight and muscle. I knew I looked better but idk it didnt cure my body dysmorphia. I did feel better though which confused me too thinking abt being a tranny. Would a tranny ever feel better about themselves if they were more muscular? I actually thought about peds once lol. I thought if im jacked I will feel good about my body. any anyone else have something similar?

I didn't even realize it at the time but the signs were probably there through highschool. Everyone kept accusing me of being gay because of how girly my mannerisms were and then one of my friend's older sister used her photo shopping skills on a picture of me to make me look like a girl. I thought it was the most gorgeous thing ever, but it took me 8 years to realize where I stood on things.

>>41106395
It was a long journey. It started with a peach fuzz mustache in childhood, and deep seated horror/revulsion. I wish I had listened to what my brain was telling me but fortunately I'm one of the lucky ones with natural femininity and a weak puberty so it worked out.

>>41126052
people ALWAYSSS used to think I was gay I was v confused and frustrated I still to this day have no idea what gave them a feminine impression besides being skinny and weak and crossing my legs lol. though I guess thats all kids need? I had a gf at one point too and didnt really have any female friends. didnt have a fagcent either. the average guailo 14 year old boy can sniff a tranny out even if he doesnt know what a tranny is lol

>>41106395
idk it wasnt when i started shaving my whole body at puberty

or when girls put makeup on me and i liked it

or when i pretended to be a girl on omegle

or when i cried looking at my face in the mirror and tore my hair out

or when i put pictures of myself into faceapp to see what id look like as a girl while crying

or when i disassociated and avoided my way through most of my 20s

still havent realised anything and never will, i dont even know why i take the hormones or how i got to this point im just afraid to die having never lived and i dont know what to do anymore