sorry for the blogpost>29>military career with no backup>believing christian (don't be edgy on this it's not going to change it)>engaged to a coptic girl>have felt gender dysphoria since at least 6>cross dressed since I was 8>knew what trans stuff was because of a Dr. Phil episode I saw with my mom around that age>feared coming out>got my own bank account as a teenager and PO box with plans to order hormones but chickened out because my mom liked to inspect my room once a week>moved out at 19 in 2015 to try again>friend became homeless at the time and I felt bad so I let him roommate with me, chickened out because the living situation>decide to rep hard next 10 years>get a gf>join the military because I had no good job prospects >in too deep, military banned trans so I'll lose my job now>Genuinely love my gf and she knows about the dysphoria and told me she hates trans, she also gave up a lot to be with me so I feel like I'll be ruining her life>for past year have felt the worst in my life, dysphoria overwhelming, feel at the end of my chain>repping methods aren't working anymoreHow the fuck do I deal with medical help essentially ending my entire life?Also, my advice to any young reppers, don't get so entangled in a life that's hostile to trans. This was a mistake
>>41122419anon i hate to say this but im gonna be direct with youyou probably shouldnt transition at your ageyou almost certainly will be throwing your life away and you wont get the results you wantim really truly sorry
>>41122419jesus deserved to die for my sins
>>41122478I'm contemplated manmoding, I've lived long enough without socially transitioning, but my physical includes a hormone screening so that'd kill my career regardless. Can't even take drugs like I did as a teenager to help rep.
>>41122419It sounds like you've lived a lot of your life suppressing your own needs and desires out of a sense of obligation for others, further hampered by a mom who would go through your room to examine and judge whatever she found. I can't tell you whether to transition or not or whether manmoding is a good idea. Maybe finding a therapist who takes a humanistic approach and doesn't really suggest or persuade against transition could be good. But I think you need to take charge of your own life whatever happens. I don't know if your coptic gf is a foreign national which would complicate things, but either way you can't keep suppressing yourself this way or you will break entirely.
>>41122419Kiss your gf, kiss an important conservative person and then kiss yourself You surrounded yourself with the worst type of "people" and you ruined your potential life as a woman, better kill two birds with one stone and reincarnate as a cis woman because you ended this current run honorably.
>>41122622I've avoided therapy due to my career.I would have been kicked out during Biden if I got the diagnosis within 18 months of joining (some tricare fraud??) and now if its even suspected on my record I just lose my job. I have no fall back at all if that happens because at that point my support system collapses.I guess I made this thread more to warn people not to become like me then to look for real advice
>>41122631Moving out of an abusive home, helping out friends, and joining the military is surrounding with the worst type of people?
>>41122419if your gf knows, hates trans people, and is staying with you, she's definitely using you. if she loved you shed work with you, if she hated troons she'd leave you, if she loved you and hated troons she'd leave you, so... what's keeping her with you?
>>41122908Why so defensive and cucked ?Your <<<gf>>> hates your guts and will leave you as soon as she has a better man option, every soldier in your base would take you out cold blood no question asked if they knew ?
>>41122975She hates transitioning, she doesn't hate the people. She's genuinely autistic and has a hard time getting it.>>41122984Idk, Im a naval officer, and I get the general sense shipmates don't care. Especially since I'm just a supply officer. Officers are more left than the enlisted in general as well
>>41122419This is what happens in a transphobic society
Not to blame you buddy but it wasn't the smartest decision to join the army when you knew you were dysphoric since forever Either man mode or seek a therapist or just prepare for your eventual suicide
>>41123778Joined the Navy because I'm from a rural region with no jobs and instead of making $15/hr working 30 hours a week with a bachelors, I get $89,500 a year salary with $34,500 non-taxable for housing on top in the Navy right now. It's the difference between living in a trailer park surrounded by methheads and being stuck at starbucks until I die and being able to own a home. The military is one of the few routes of escape from rural poverty.
>>41122478Get fucked zoomer, I’m honning out. I’m not going to die. We’re going to be sisters. :^)
>>41122478Why not troon?
Describe your repping methods.
>>41124550it's changed over time. One of the biggest ones is keeping myself so busy and surrounded by people that I can't become introspective. Also having something to direct angry energy towards, when I was younger it was teachers, school, society, ect. As an adult it's been shitty co-workers, arcane policies, ect.Just keeping my mind directed at other things and my emotional energy elsewhere.When I was a teen and young adult it was by smoking a lot of DMT, and drinking a fifth of whiskey a day, smoking weed eeryday, just drowned it out.When I was a kid and teenager I played online games pretending to be a girl, went into IRC chatrooms pretending to be a girl, ect. Just to satisfy that itch in the way my dumb kid brain worked. played games like Fallout 3 as a girl in 3rd person to roleplay in autistic ways...It was not really a sexual thing for me, I was uncomfortable with my dick and outside rare occasions was practically no-fap until I was 25, I just liked playing RPGs as a girl character and being treated like a girl online. The drug method seemed best to just kill the feeling (or at least make me unable to act on it) but it was killing me and I had to drop it to get my current job.
