>>41159779
i have not told anyone ever

>>41159779
No, I would spontaneously combust in shame.

hello babydollanons I love you

I will not drink until tomorrow/later today.

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I don't know if I'm going to kill myself soon. Anyway, the old me is already dead. Goodbye, repgods. Be as stupid as possible, you're going to die anyway.

>>41159779
Yeah a friend when we were both drunk af idk if he even remembers i also dont remember most of the night but he didnt mention it idk if he taught i was joking

>>41159779
I told one friend when I was drunk and he went on to tell everyone else who then ostracized me (rightfully).
I was trans for years so it's not like I could hide it then but I also didn't have any friends or partners either so there was no capacity to hide anyway.

>>41159779
once, I was in 2nd grade and asked my friend if we could tell each other our deepest secrets, I forgot what he said but I said “I want to be a girl when I grow up “ he forgot and I feel only shame for my disgust with my self

Naively admitted to wishing I was a girl to some friends in middle school
Drunkenly admitted to hating being a man 5 years ago
Drunkenly admitted to troonbrain with friends 6 months ago
Admitted to girlfriend shortly after that

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my mom knows, she probably told my dad but i never talked to him about it. But im not transitioning and they know that too so not much friction with them anymore.

my sister asked me if I want to be a woman once (because I was indulging in gothy fem stuff at the time) but I just pretended to be angry about the accusation and it was never brought up again

>>41161352
Thats funny every time I get the chance to indulge in femininity, the masculine defense system kicks in and ruins it

>>41161735
Meant for>>41161462

>>41161735
yeah, I feel that now though at the time I actually went on to transition

>>41159779
no but i came way too close recently, i was talking to my brother about vidya and i said deltarune was my favorite game i've played this year and he jokingly went "oh that's the game for trans people right?" and i literally froze up like a deer in headlights and after a couple of seconds of sitting there i was just like "h-haha yeah SO ANYWAY WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING"
i think he could tell something was up but he didn't say anything and we moved on but i've kinda been avoiding him since then

I think it all just has to be some OCD thing

>>41162363
I would agree with that

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>>41159779
i haave 1 year ago but nohing happend
and im drunkk cuz i drank idh maybe 10 beers and i just wanna be the girls on my fyp and i wish i was shorter

>>41159779
take your HRT, retards

>>41162467
im cis male

I'm so disgusted by my libido after stopping hrt
I hope it dies down as I'm more used to it because rn I'm a gooner

my family are so poor dude, repping is humiliating enough but seeing how much poverty we are in makes it feel so much more pathetic

>>41162771
get a job

>>41162812
no place will hire me

>>41159779
Yeah but not that it was AGP (heavily leaning AGAMP) post puberty shit and that it came from some porn I saw my Dad look at ages ago. They've said supportive things but I'm so ridiculously tangled up in myself it doesn't matter.

What's fueling everybody's misery today? Recently it's been the realization that by the time I realized my thoughts I was way past masculinization of my face and didn't know shit about HRT so I was doomed regardless. Now I'm 22 and any facial changes will take years through HRT or require life uprooting through FFS.

>>41162824
>now im 22

i thought the same shit, now im 28 fucking just start hrt already you are fucked

I did something horrible last night. I was hanging out at a gay bar, had too much to drink and started emotionally breaking down. Two women came to comfort me but I kept trying to get them to stop because I know how transphobic I've been the past few months and how they'd hate me if they found out. By the end of the night I admitted to being transphobic to one of them so they wouldn't feel bad for me but now I feel awful for being so bigoted. They even asked me if I was questioning my identity and even though I said no I have been. I keep thinking about what I'd be if I didn't care what people think and have come to the conclusion I might become trans, or at the very least a femboy on hrt. But now even if I wanted to explore that I'd lose all my current friends and wouldn't be able to assimilate into the LGBT community because of what I said. I'm sorry for the blog post but I have no idea who I could possibly talk about this to so I'm seeing if anyone here has any answers as to what to do.

>>41162960
Im like this too but I honestly don't feel all that guilty about it

>>41162859
>already you are fucked
Exactly lol what's the point in starting now? I'm about to uproot my life for what is a fetish. Being a girl or feminine is not in my capabilities.

>>41139145
>crossdress because i know i'll become dependent on it to an unhealthy degree
fuck thats me i feel weird if i don't do it for many days

>>41162960
what the fuck you people go out? to gay bars nonetheless? and have troon friends even and have friend groups of dudes that have become troons? the fuck am i reading

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all we are is dust in the wind

>>41162819
lie on your CV and use a migrant's name

>>41159779
no one, i will never do anyways im so fucking ugly to even try so why i put the effort into saying about being a tranny to anyone

>>41163091
Right? You see people with support groups and social behavior like that here and not to downplay their suffering or anything, but it's baffling to me. I've got like three friends who are all hard right, I'm too miserable about my masculine appearance to go out without a lot of prompting, and I never, ever engage with gay or trans people out of fear of being outed, guilt, and jealousy. I guess it's like we're sitting buried in the back of the closet and looking at these people who are at the front and peeking out of the door?

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>>41162467
My life is bad enough as it is I don't need to go out of my way to also set it on fire. I'd be doing myself & the world a disservice by being a gross ugly man trying to look like a woman. I am happy for those that do transition.
>>41162824
>What's fueling everybody's misery today
Someone called me a girl's name by accident and I died inside
I'm a bit older, and can relate to the whole not knowing soon enough & now thinking it's too late. I often feel the simultaneous 'too late' feeling one year, then wish I just took a chance years later and now that's my new 'well now it's definitely too late'. I don't think that feeling ever goes away, the goalposts just keeps moving. I can't imagine how you feel, but 22 isn't all that old, imo. Regardless, hope you find some peace with whatever you choose <3
>>41163091
Lol, same. I go to work, come home, and don't really have friends or a social circle. I feel even more isolated when I read some of these replies

>>41163034
i literally feel the same way at 28 except i know now if i dont do it i will just get addicted to alcohol and then pain pills and end up homeless so who gives a fuck

this life is a total joke anyway, you arent any better by staying 'normal' and marrying a wife who will stop loving you and having 2 kids that hate you. just fucking go all in quick.

it hurts knowing hrt wasn't enough and I need FFS and BA probably

>>41162960
Update on this: I feel so horrible about this because I confessed this the night people were grieving the loss of a fellow community member. I think I should be upfront about my beliefs but I really should've chosen a better time. I don't belong in the LGBT and I'm not a girl but holy shit I just wanna be a cute femboy so bad. It's not even a sexual thing it just increases my confidence and makes me feel great to crossdress. It feels like I'm actually me. It could very well be easy to pull off if I got on hrt but I also don't want to ruin my penis in case I want kids or get a roundabout form of gender dysphoria from taking the girl pills. I highly doubt anyone I met last night would be reading this but if they are I'm so sorry for relaying my close minded thoughts on such a tough night for that community and I'm sorry for using that community as a sanctuary to be myself while being so close minded. I don't think I can change my mind on the trans stuff due to a myriad of reasons but I will never spread hate, cause problems or use that community for personal gain ever again.

>>41162960
>>41163666
I love you babydoll you’re a sweetheart and you shouldn’t beat yourself up so much

>>41163506
Yeah I get you, I'll look in the mirror inside and think "maybe I'm not that bad, a little makeup could be enough" but then I go outside and the harshness of the sun reveals the full tragedy of my brow bone and I know for certain I need FFS I'll never be able to afford.

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>>41163215
>>if only you knew how bad things really are
I'm friends with a bunch of trans people and they all tell me to get on the drugs. I'm not unfamiliar with this shit. But at the same time I have a cis way of viewing the world. I know that if I transition I'm going to become exactly like them, I'm not going to exist in my ideal body. I'm going to be another person endlessly chasing a fantasy our subconscious couldn't effectively throw away. Never going to be picrel or all the other AGP derivative images I have gathered over the years despite my constant worrying and anxiety. It's sad and pathetic, isn't it? It sucks but at the end of the day I'm choosing humility and recognizing that my cartoon fantasy doesn't exist, only reality does.
>but what about E solving your brain!! What about dysphoria slightly disappearing...
All of the trans women I know have the same problems! They're years into estrogen and still are obsessed with the same unrealistic ideals they started with, barely any closer to being their fantasy. Not any hotter, still getting dysphoria from the same dumb bullshit. What? You thought that I was just coping after a year or some shit? Denying myself this basic autonomy is like religion to me desu.

sorry for the incoherent diary post but
I always think it's funny that the john 50 study gets brought up as some sort of gotcha that you'll always end up transitioning when the next section of that paper describes the people who reach an even older age with unresolved problems. the part that particularly speaks to me is -
> the struggle to contain their gender expression deprivation anxiety--in and of itself--has become deeply ingrained in their psyche. It is as if the gender dysphoria has become a critical component of who they have become. Characteristically these people can be described as sad, depressed and deeply resentful. In treating these individuals, the best that can be done is to help them feel better about cross-dressing
and it's not like all of these really old people show up and that's the first day that they feel like that. at some point the resentment toward yourself has to just calcify into being shitty at all times and it's never going to be salvageable, and that even in your old age without anything to lose it's not going to be helpful to be on estrogen and all you'll ever positively achieve is being fine with cross dressing. who says that hasn't already happened to me? like I think about even if I were to try to take my pills now every day I'd just wake up and think about how fucked I am and how badly I feel about it and how it'd feel better to just not even bother. I don't really cross dress anymore because I just get the feeling of disgusting pervert male thinking about it, even though whenever I've actually done it I've felt fine about myself. it'd be the same shit there, where I'd take my pills for a week or whatever and then wake up every morning and stare at it and think about how terrible I am for even having started. cannot imagine showing up to a therapist's office and having the diagnostic just be that I'm milk that's curdled so bad we've just gotta try to figure out how to be less embarrassed about being a cd.

>>41159779
i got outed by my bigotmother after starting hrt in secret from everybody and she found out somehow. guess who no longer has a family

tried to kms myself shortly after that and got drunk and told a friend and now it's double regret fuck my life

>>41160027
:3

>>41163836
>going to be another person endlessly chasing a fantasy

you think you will somehow escape this by repping? you think even non trans people escape this? everyone has a fantasy they are falling short of, join the club. that doesnt mean you have to torture yourself by denying yourself the slightest comfort.

i know some happy trans women and some unhappy ones, in every case though i know they would be much much unhappier if they had never started, and the happy ones actually got to live a life as a woman so.

The worst thing the internet and media can do is make you distrust everyone else

>>41160378
>>41160620
this is why i only drink alone. also because i have no friends
but seriously, revealing that i'm a repper while drunk is a huge fear

>>41162960
>>41163666
V relatable. The transphobic & bigoted things I've said in the past have always been a way to help repress who I am beneath. It doesn't make it right obviously, but it's clear that isn't the real you. Thinking about it that way does help me and pushes me to be better and more accepting, which I do feel is the real me. Similar dysphoria too, I feel you. Just fills me with like normalcy and confidence and joy to present as a woman in any context, not specifically sexual or anything.
I hope you are able to work through what you're going through without beating yourself up so much you sound very nice :)

>>41164548
I don't think I'll escape it by repping I just don't think transitioning is the best way out of it. I mean think about how much better life is for every cis woman. The level of unhappiness as a repper and unhappiness as a trans woman is different as well. Reppers exist in misery but an apathetic one that is often spent dissociating, not being there. Trans women on the other hand are constantly there in every way possible, they can't avoid it. Their unhappiness is much greater as a result.

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>>41159779
i told my sisters, they support me. i was young enough when i did too, i could've transitioned if i wasn't retarded

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>>41159779
told my mom cause she kept asking me what was wrong with me, she freaked out, 1 year later I'm still repping and we pretend it never happened.

Is anyone else anxious that they LOOK like a tranny, despite repping? Like something in the way you do your hair, or take care of your skin, make expressions, body language, or even just your eyelashes might scream 'tranny' to people? Like I guess it's a variation on the fagface thing.

>>41165000
Im not worried, Im certain that I look/act like one when clean shaven

>>41164597
>i only drink alone
Prepare for grandpa music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpzqQst-Sg8

how do you guys stop spiraling when you have to get shit done? don't really want to get high rn but none of my other distraction copes are working

>>41159779
I had one close friend that I was out with and we'd get our nails done together and drink wine and watch bad romcons. her fiance was never as supportive of the transition but he was lovely to me too. one day I guess she got fed up with my mood swings and depression and cut me off. now I'm back to the closet.

>>41165035
I don't get shit done.
>>41165038
Why do people take stuff like this as a sign to give up when the reason their friends gave up on them is because despite all the support to help you move forward you refused to?

>>41164695
plenty of cis women have horrible lives and i wouldnt want to be them, but yes in general they have it better.

disassociating is not a life, there is nothing wrong with being a trans woman, we all just have to make the most of things

you will probably realise that spending your whole life disassociating and repressing pain is not what you want after you do it for another 5 years like an idiot

>>41165000
nah, i look just like a faggot/fruity. people might just suspect your gay or think your meteosexual or artsy or whatever. by being aware of this you wont cross line of acceptable behavior

>>41163809
>>41164618
These messages choked me up a little, thank you guys. Sorry to ask but is there a discord or something for this kinda thing? I hate being in 4chan circles but reading this general has been eye opening.

>>41165322
idk I am not a repper or tranny I just come here every once in a while because I love you babydolls and I want to put in a word of kindness and support for you

>>41159779
Yeah I've mentioned it to a few friends of mine while drunk and I regret it. They didn't react badly or anything but having this mental illness makes me feel so disgusting and humiliated, I'm glad they've never brought it up since.

>>41165000
I look like a homeless neanderthal that hasn't left my house in a year so not really

>>41165000
This exact reason is why I cut my hair short.

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How will /repgen/ respond when all men are transformed into women?

>>41165908
tears of joy

>>41165908
I'd feel bad for all the formerly non-gd guys suddenly having gd and being pooners in the making, but I'd be happy for myself.

>>41165000
I look like a gigaman

>>41165322
Lol samesies. I have like cried from some comments I've been given on this board, lol. Also ya not a fan of 4chan, but too scared & feel like I don't belong in the other generals and don't want to be a bother to anyone. The other generals might be more helpful though, in terms of if you want to start to transition, crossdress, plus have more experienced trans girls and such and might have a general discord too. Be careful of getting pushed one way or the other too, imo. Hope you continue to find yourself, whatever that may be :) Not that I'm particularly exciting or full of good advice, but my discord is themantic_dreams if you ever need to talk or vent. Anyway, take care you <3
>>41165908
pls

>>41165000
i look like i have an intellectual disability

>>41164376
>I tried to kms
don’t do that again
it’s evil
live, anon, because you are valuable
>inb4 cope
how do you think you survived until today? it’s because God wants you to live, because He values your life

yet another successful afternoon of the best rep strategy, having a panic attack and hoping nobody asks me to do my job
>>41165000
now nah, I used to have really long hair and feel like that gave it away a bit
>>41165908
>magically a woman
>impossible to find a bf
fine I guess :(

>>41166436
if god loves me so much why did he stick me in a disgusting body that dooms me to constant misery along with the knowledge that it's only going to get worse over time?

>>41165035
>how do you guys stop spiraling when you have to get shit done?
I make a list of things to do the next day while I’m chilling before bed
wake up
eat breakfast
drink tea (this is key)
and start with the easiest thing on the list to build momentum
yesterday it was just making a phone call but it got the ball rolling

>>41166449
>if god loves me so much why did he stick me in a disgusting body that dooms me to constant misery along with the knowledge that it's only going to get worse over time?
all lies from the devil
as I said, God values you and your life; and He did not make your body a source of disgust or misery; a liar has lied to you about your body

>>41166462
hm more of a coffee person desu
that makes sense though, i need to get better about actually doing easy shit to stop procrastinating. just keep feeling so out of it I can't even grab the easy bits though

i am the only real repper..

i don't want to rep

I just want to be happy
i want my heart to feel whole
i want to feel okay

>>41166449
character building
>>41166484
I would be an atheist if you were my priest

why couldn't i have been a girl

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my fellow manly men, what are you listening to?

I can't repress my intense hatred of being male any longer. I hate being male! I hate being male! I hate being male!

>>41165000
other people knew before I did

>>41168999
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSf_i1SUFhM
being a basic cis gay and all that

>>41168999
sewerslvt. i am a stereotype i know

>>41168999
anime osts

>>41168999
https://youtu.be/2MIr85gz3-4?si=LBp6b77cOhgsYtcv

Why not just an hrtless feminine gay guy?

>>41169502
why not suck a fart outta my ass nigger

>>41169502
Gay people disgust me

>>41169641
when was the last time you had a conversation irl with a gay person?

>>41169502
an empty cup does not quench one's thirst

>>41169658
its up to you to fill your own cup

>>41169666
that's not what was suggested

>>41169677
you can have meaningful life experiences as a gay man without taking hrt

>>41169686
you can have meaningful life experiences without being happy or satisfied

>>41169721
happiness and fulfillment can exist without self chemical castration

>>41169729
we return again to the empty cup

>>41165908
id be okay if i could just look like left i dont want to be a fat bitch with big boobs thats gross.

>>41162824
How the fuck do you come out as AGP? You'd have to explain the concept in a way that doesn't make you seem like just a fetishist.

>>41168999
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_quyxI4hIOk

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>>41165908
absolute salvation, these poor bozos deserve it too... so many social problems would be solved as well like misogyny, relogious war and emotional constipation of moids.
>>41166055
so much this

>>41159779

I have told some of my friends, I tried to tell my sister once but I don’t think she believed me(I hope she’s forgotten about it)

>>41168999
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_k38t8zI1I

babydollanons have a good rest

when i was in my hon era at like 14-15 i told various friends, then i avoided mentioning it to anyone at all apart from my parents and "exploratory" therapist for like 4 years but now i just casually mention that i have gender dysphoria when it's vaguely relevant in conversations with people just to feel something every so often

thinking about trooning for 10 years but i dont have time for that my family are poor and i cant get a job

>>41170970
I'll hire you as a maid

>>41169644
Every single day

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>>41165000
i always plucked my facial hair so yeah probably and also had a phase where i did my eyebrows and someone's grandma thought i was a girl this was in my 20s after college and everybody laughed so that gave me ptsd
>>41169157
this too kinda it's like they're joking but also not joking
i live in third world and never met a single lgbt person my entire life but apparently everyone else is just aware
checked

is the only viable option to an hero? been repping for 10 years now and it's dawned on me that i haven't actually lived a life because of it.

>>41165000
No one's ever said anything to me so no. I have long hair from when I was trans but I tie it up and I stopped using extraordinary haircare products like masks, oils, leave in conditioners so it hopefully reads as a masculine thing.

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It's hard to rep when you actually cursed

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It's only me watching news repfuel every time?

>>41172466
most of you submissive male faggots wish you were in this situation

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>>41172500
>Getting brutally killed

Sure thing brutha

>>41172500
>>41172466
>doubles of truth
fuck kinda yes and no
this is also how hate crime begins and then you're found somewhere with stab wounds in your anus

>>41172535
They only beat him a little

Taking inventory of the troons i know in my city
An older twinkhon that doesn't seem to be putting the effort in anymore
Two tall dolled up t4t twinkhons with generic troon names
Two gigahons one with the autistic confidence
Detroon chud
Passoid with super masculine brother
Childhood Neighbor who i saw walking at night once and could tell
Extremely old hon who trooned out before most of us were born

>>41172604
whats the story

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>>41172604
They have fun however they want. The god chosen cis people.

>>41165000
i just look so ugly i look like everything

>>41172618
me as the detroon chud

whats the best drug to cope with besides weed, i like pregabalin but it isnt sustainable

where do you find troon rekt vids i always enjoy a good blackpill

>>41173413
watching videos of happy trannies while i make eye contact with myself in the mirror

>>41173395
cocaine

hey repgirls, which is the cutest version of Gwen Stacy (our hero) to run as my commander? I'm assuming you all playing magic

Starting hormones
Goodbye forever repgen

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>>41173395
>>41173447
nep is better and much cheaper. morphine too, but unlike poppies or codeine/oxy you need to add some stim to it ro not be drowsy. ket and acid are like antirpefuel.

>>41173756
I am so happy for you and wish you nothing but the best desu I hope you have a great life :)

Hi. Can cismales who feel ugly post here or is it just for reppers? I promise to be respectful and considerate.

>>41172500
That's why I don't want anything to do with you people, really.

Having painful period cramps + im expected to clean the entire house today
Sometimes being a woman isnt sunshine and rainbows

>>41174563
No logical way out of this mental illness

>>41173789
never heard of nep in my life but after doing some reading apparently its fucking bath salts?? lol

i think if i take morphine ill just immedietly become an addict and thatll be that so ill try and avoid opiates or im fucked

i actually liked ket a lot, i miss ket.... didnt make me wanna troon out though, just blissfully not exist for a while

>>41174546
honestly they are one and the same, or at least im not entirely sure what i am. i think most of all i just feel like a cis man suffering from ugliness and this is like... the only place of kinship... other than r9k which is full of faggots complaining about women not giving them pussy, nah...

>>41174635
Idc about pussy at this point. I just want to look ok.
I'm not that horrid but my bodytype is just fucked.
I have a bunch of spine defects from sitting improperly during puberty and then getting ALL of my growth condensed into like 2-3 months.
I've been exercising a lot and stuff but i'm essentially still just a brick from frontview and a hunchback from the side.
Face is 5/10 but i started balding at fucking 17yo. Im on fin+min but my hair is thinner than it used to be and there are slight inclines that make an M shape and i wanna kys anytime i look at myself in the mirror.
I dont feel like a woman at all and would not enjoy being one though. I just wish i could work hard enough to earn being a slightly better looking man but a lot of my issues are just hardlocked dead ends without solutions. The spine stuff especially. The only way to straighten me out in a way that matters is a surgery that would leave me unable to walk for years lmao.

sometimes people call me a wuss despite my attempts at being normal and i feel all the effort and accomplishment was for nothing makes me want to be some low rung trashy tranny and do the most depraved shit possible

>>41174764
Feel this. Even though im actually pretty good at being a manly man I know everyone can tell.

>>41173756
glhf, glad for you
>>41174546
don't really get the appeal for you but this thread is usually pretty dead so sure whatever. just want to vent to other people mad about how they look that aren't incels?
>>41174620
as long as you're not compulsively smoking it not like cathinones like that aren't the end of the world, ppl have bad experiences because they'll go through their whole stash nonstop for days straight masturbating and not sleep/eat/drink water.
idk if there's really anything that isn't weed that isn't going to have some stupid risk profile though. I really liked kratom but it was fucking with my sleep

>>41174932
yep. nep is gentle one. you can sleep like 3 hours after dosing. its apvp (flakka) you should avoid. amphetamines too due to too long effect, making you sleepless...

I am so tired, sad, and empty.
I can’t look at myself in the mirror.
I’m just a cog in the machine with no purpose or goal, just conforming to the people around me.
I hate being a man. still cis or whatever

>>41174958
>agp schizo rep
>recommends nep

okay i better not touch it then

>>41165137
Then what the fuck are you doing? What are you, 28? You're not even halfway through your life.

>>41173789
I wish i could do drugs but i'm studying to be a lawyer so any.sort of criminal history ever would ruin my future.

>>41169401
reminder transitioning will not improve your situation even if you're one of the lucky semi-passing ones

>>41174932
>just want to vent to other people mad about how they look that aren't incels?
Basically.
I hate the incelshit because theyre disingenious about their bs and also the core issue always slips into women having free will.
>Woman will not fuck me because i'm not an appealing partner
>This means BILLIONS must die.
I'm just sad about being ugly and idgaf about women.

>>41176143
>lawyer

lol why? just become an alcoholic and work at a gas station or something

>>41176384
Literally just because i failed out of the last three gas-station tier jobs ive had and when my mom pushed for me to go to college instead i applied for a law degree bc i had just finished watching Better Call Saul.
I intend to go through with this just because i want to defend a guy inna courthouse at least 1 time in my life.

hope your Friday is going well my precious babydollanons I love you

>>41176430
I'm going to a con tomorrow to meet up with internet friends!

>>41176249
aw yea I get you, although ppl here do get weirdly sexist on occasion for no real reason
>>41176430
ily2 chaser shooting from the parking lot

I dont want to do hormones but id like to account and counteract this.>>41174703
Does anyone know anything that could help?
Idk i'm really on the end of the line with this one.

>>41176439
im so jealous

>>41176509
Sorry to brag in a place that isnt that happygolucky.
I'm the cismale guy from above like not even a repper.
Sorry.

>>41176430
saw a kind of cute blue haired twinkhon in public with a pink haired cis girl and that ruined my day
also I ordered a hot dog and forgot to select a bun so I had to eat it like a lettuce wrap :(

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How do you figure out if you're actually a troon or if your desires are just the results of Psychosis. I don't get AGP, like I don't get horny from the idea of being a woman, but I get random desires to be one when suffering a Manic Episode. Been repressor pilled because my desire to actually troon out is spotty but usually when I don't wanna troon I'm depressed and don't care about anything anyway.

I'm giving away 2-3 inches of shoulder width. Any takers? No cost. You could be a football player, bump into doorways, perhaps it'll even help you haul giant sacks of grain.

>>41177055
honestly I really need it. My shoulders look so small with my bobblehead even when I'm fit

>>41162363
I think it's basically wishing to be another person and have a different life
Many times I've been told by male friends that if I was a girl they would have married me by now. Or about how my personality and whatever else isn't masculine.
The thinking being that if I had been a girl from the start I wouldn't be alone right now wanting to kill myself.
Which may well be true, but I might as well wish to have been born a millionaire or really attractive or whatever else instead for all the difference it makes.

>>41165000
I just look like an autist
People stare at and harass me whether I have short or long hair so it doesn't matter at all

>>41178299
Well here's to hoping you magically get my shoulder width then, bro.

I dont want to think or feel anymore

There's no virtue on suffering, and yet I just refuse to transition because trans people disgust me

Trannies are just so cringe. I look at them and physically cringe. None pass. They usually act like men. Its just such a joke. I would never be a real woman. It's better to be a man than a thing

>>41178770
Whatever you need to tell yourself to keep going, anon.

>>41176430
you don't love me you hate me you wish i was dead

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do you guys actually feel dysphoria or nah
i feel a physical pain in my heart and get depressed when i think about being a woman, but it goes away after a minute, so idk if that's dysphoria or not
every tranny mentions how unbearable it is or whatever, meanwhile i just feel absolutely nothing most of the time, as long as i'm in a haze or focused on something else it doesn't really hurt

>>41179698
>i just feel absolutely nothing most of the time
>as long as i'm in a haze or focused on something else it doesn't really hurt
if someone described themselves like this without the context of repping i would think they're clinically depressed. you are dysphoric.

>>41179698
yea I've also never really felt the whole life or death unbearable bit
it's more just like I'm vaguely uncomfortable/neurotic about some shit with my appearance and haven't been in a relationship because I feel gross whenever someone touches me. like you've said as long as I'm not actively thinking about it it's fine, it's not like I'm walking around thinking about how much better things would be if I was a woman at that moment

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>>41179726
>you are dysphoric
i don't know. reading my previous post i don't really feel connected to it in any way. it's like i just made something up based on loose emotions, everything is so blurry saying anything with definite meaning feels dishonest, if that makes any sense.

>>41178770
Feminine people are all hated anyways, what does it matter

>>41179698
I kinda just feel wistful or empty most of the time. I have a lot to be depressed about so the surest signs, to me, that this is something important to me is my memories of when I, you know, didn't feel a disassociated miserable fog all the time, and the fact that the masculine aspects of my appearance bother the hell out of me. Like if you went around wanting to be a girl more acutely years ago, looking at your shoulders or your crotch makes you upset, and if looking at a woman makes you jealous instead of horny then well, all of that is a sign that you've just kinda settled it into your mass long long-term depression rather than gotten over it or that it suddenly never happened.

>>41179803
you are dysphoric.

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>>41180027
damn

two reppers kissing and frotting

>>41180426
never

>>41180662
why not

>>41180662
enough people out there it's probably happening somewhere
should be me desu

>>41180680
doing anything romantic/sexual in this body sounds incredibly disgusting

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>>41180426
yes mostly because our predatory psychotic fujo gfs want to see it

>third glass of 4.9 ABV apple cider poured
>french fries fried
>new gender bender slop downloaded and ready for binging
time to get my repper weekend started

>>41180866
i thought you guys were the psychotic fujos

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>>41180875

>>41179698
I wish I was the funger tranny

lol I'm actually trashed rn
out of vodka tho unfortunately so I don't get any better than this until at least tomorrow when store opens

>>41180875
why is this better than being on HRT?

Trying to find a way to sugar coat this to my fiance. We've been together for 5 years and ive only told her on the last 1 year

I miss that one repper who really wanted to be a 2d anime girl

I think it's really hot when boys are forced to dress like girls and I wish it happened to me but I'm a disgusting ogre piece of shit and i should kill myself

>>41181769
because transitioning isn't a realistic option for me
you think I would choose this if it was?
fuck no
I would have started hrt like 6 years ago but all the way back then I took into account what I was working with and knew I wouldn't have the slightest chance of it working out
it wasn't really a choice, this was the only path
why are you even here
I wouldn't be here if I thought I had a chance
if God gave you the opportunity to become a real person then you need to get out of this thread
it's not for you

I'm out of drinks but it's storming outside and I don't wanna get wet but I kind of want to walk down the highway to the gas station and buy more because it's the only place open in the middle of the night

I really wish I could hug someone without this body getting in the way

when i look at myself i dont feel bad because i look like a man, i feel like i look like a stranger or a monster.

then if i take estrogen or block androgens for a while. i dont feel like oh i look more feminine or i look like a woman, i just feel like i look more like "me".

i resent that gender exists, i think its kind of fucking strange that everyone is born with a fixed role whether they like it or not and everyone just not only accepts it but most seem to like it?

i never asked to be born, i dont consent to being made a man or a woman. i dont want to be put into a box just because.

the nice thing about hrt for me is that im making a choice, im not being forced to be what i was made to be

hrt repping for life

>>41182434
enjoy being a man with breasts retard, hope you enjoy binding for life and all the disgusting skin issues that come with that

>>41182484
i never liked having a body and never will who cares

sex with hrt reppers wearing masks

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>fantasize about something like pic related happening to me and getting raped after
>jerk off
>feel instantly disgusted with myself and vow to stop being an agp weirdo
>repeat cycle
im so tired and its made even more frustrating and confusing because im heterosexual other than this thing that has infected me, im not even attracted to men its just rampant meta attraction.

im literally dead
im cis and dead
im cis, on hrt and dead
im a cis male with too much braindead sissy agp mef bs
kill me
please

>>41183030
You go to gym?

>>41183040
no im a skinny hermit. trying to gain weight with drinks like ensure plus and nualtra foodlink milkshakes right now, actually just out of a private mental health ward where i was treated for my ED.

>>41183045
>ED
What's that?

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>>41183030
I have good news and bad news for you:
You will stop feeling disgusted with yourself with time, and you will develop a romantic enjoyment with taking on a female identity or body.
You are at major risk for developing gender dysphoria.

>>41183074
eating disorder. mine is ARFID.

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>>41183078
ew gross a pinkpiller, im on a waiting list on being evaluated for gender dysphoria already anyways but there is no possible future where i troon out. sorry.

>>41183089
Not a pinkpiller, I've just actually read the literature on autogynephilia.

im going to die today or tonight. i will die as a man because i will never be a woman no matter how hard i try or how much i want to. at least in death i dont have to worry about dysphoria

>>41182161
>if God gave you the opportunity to become a real person then you need to get out of this thread
>it's not for you
holy truth nuke
yeah
I don’t belong here ig but I also have been srsly repping for nearly a decade atp
and it’s like now or never

god is giving me more grace

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I think I’ll never get over the fact that I’ll never be liked. From that, the more I write, the more disgusted I feel with myself. My ROGD was just the fact mentioned earlier and AGP.

Whether I like it or not. Having affection, having a base, having people happy to see you, especially from the opposite sex, are things that can keep us alive. That’s why boys will keep killing themselves, more and more. As man faces what he has always been: a weapon and a work machine.

>>41183095
nta but based. share your findings because nobody on this website knows what agp and hsts actually means now

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>>41183130
Alright, I'll share my view on AGP:
>AGP is an innate, immutable autosexual orientation.
>AGP does manifest in childhood, albeit weakly.
>During adolescence, AGP is a predominantly erotic experience.
>Over the course of adulthood, AGP matures into a more romantic experience, the AGP is likely to start developing a cross-gender identity here.
>Cross-gender identity, being a romantic phenomenon, does not go away with libido, post nut clarity will not get rid of this.
>Cross-gender identity can lead to gender dysphoria.
>Meaningful cross-gender identity, especially with gender dysphoria, is what, in my view, justifies transition.

>>41183167
it’s the research of one guy

>>41183175
>one guy
What about Bailey, Lawrence, Hsu and Cantor?
Also, many similar hypotheses have been brought up, Docter's and Veale's for example.

>>41183096
I'm horrified at the thought of doctors and such finding my corpse has breasts

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>>41183167
awesome. this isn't directly related to AGP per se, but i'm curious to see how you perceive the way forward for the trans community.
the "women in male bodies" thing didn't work, like at all. would a confession that the AGP/HSTS is very much real improve social perception of transexuals or worsen it even more? what can be done to restore public perception?

>>41183039
im cis on hrt and dead

SAME BESTIE

I AM A CIS MAN ON HRT

>>41183167
i can honestly say i never had agp, not as a teenager, i wanted to be feminine but it was not agp, nothing to do with being a woman or sexualizing myself as a woman. i developed agp only in the last 5 years to cope with "dysphoria".

the original and strongest feeling i had was just aversion to my own masculinity, hating being hairy for example and my masculine looking face.

agp and hsts is not real its just bullshit layered on top of your wounds that explain nothing

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>>41183387
>the AGP/HSTS is very much real
the AGP/HSTS dichotomy* is very much real
i forgot a word

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I'm just a retarded faggot

>>41183387
>would a confession that the AGP/HSTS is very much real improve social perception of transexuals or worsen it even more?
I think it allows you to take initiative and control the narrative. AGP only works as an accusation because the most common understanding is that its a fetish or perversion.

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I feel so lost. No gf, no bf, no friends. Born wth autism, showing signs of other mental illnesses since I was 3. Nothing. I don't even know how to talk with people. I wasted my teens sitting on my ass in front of my pc wasting my time then when I turned 18 I went on doing the same shit as covid lockdowns started and I could not go to the foreign uni I got accepted to. As I got accepted to that one, I had to decline going to a local one so I started only a year later than my former classmates. Then I got ill and could not attend uni irl so I had to do it online from home. Then I somehow despite telling myself that wasting my teens was already more than enough, managed to also waste my young adult years.
I just don't know what to do. I have a job that pays me well, but there's simply nothing I want to spend my money on. Sure I could travel or something, but I just don't feel like I'd enjoy doing that.
Lately I feel like my depression itself is so bad that I even stopped having thoughts about gender dysmorphia. Why would I want to be a woman if I don't even want to be alive to begin with?
I just don't know what to do with my life. Being like this is not even the thing that's killing me, what's the heaviest burden on my shoulders is that my parents, whom unironically should have deserved a chad or a stacy as a kid, got me instead.

>>41183639
Does anyone drink straight matcha? Or is it just in all these weird combo drinks?
I've wanted to try matcha as an alternative to coffee but its weirdly difficult to get your hands on.

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>>41182614
mask you say

>>41183030
i don't even feel disgusted i just feel like i had a long relaxing session which is why i make it as long as possible i actually hate the post nut feeling in the penis which is why i prefer butt poking

>>41183449
how did he do that

>wake up
>look in the mirror
>see an ugly man
>take xanax and disassociate
>go back to sleep

lol

>>41180898
this ain't femrepgen nigga

i wish it was possible for me to look half as good as anyone in passgen

>>41183877
Not just passgen. This board kills me sometimes when you have people posting their pics and going "Oh god I'm so ugly and so male look at my failed transition." Most of the time, you can look at their shoulders, ribs, hips, face, the outright bone, and see that even they have it way better than it's ever possible for you to with your gross masculinized skeleton. Like I know a lot of that is just attention baiting from people who know they look good but holy shit does it make me miserable.

>>41183877
what do you consider half

>>41183877
Age limit for this ride is 16, bestie

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>>41183877
>>41184006
Same. If I could look like 90% of the girls in passgen I'd probably get on HRT. Now it's too late, I'm just some balding gross masculine guy with a physical labor job which makes me look and feel even more masculine. It's so joever.

>>41183877
It's brutal, I posted a few times years ago and not passing/clocky/give it time wasn't that unusual but now it's like 90% passoid attention whores who just love mogging hons every week
I would feel so humiliated posting now (if I was still trans)

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am i crazy or are there just no trannies working "high class" jobs? i've never seen a trans lawyer or trans doctor
im afraid trooning out will absolutely ruin any chances of me getting this kind of work in the future

>>41184442
Bump

>>41184442
Tech has an extremely disproportionate amount of trannies, whether you consider that "high class" is something else, but its certainly upper middle class capable.

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>41184532
I WISH I WAS A FEMALE MAN

>>41184442
for obvious reasons trannies tend to avoid jobs where being respected is an important part of the job. imagine the way you'd be treated as a tranny doctor

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>>41184272
same

>>41184442
It's not that uncommon considering the overall representation. The issue is you need to have a career prior to transitioning, because trannies are discriminated against.
There's trans senate members and on and on but good luck transitioning before entering your career

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>mom wanted a girl

>mom found the repper manifesto

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>you missed out on affirming euphoric transbian love

good morning and happy college football saturday
>>41184961
what would be in everyone's manifesto? don't think I've got one in me desu

>>41185040
tfw i didnt and now ill never get over it i want it back

>>41185098
what's stopping you?

>>41185117
im not that attractive so i think i just got really lucky with a low self esteem transbian

>>41185123
that's my experience too, though it was only an egf I met once

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despite my agp im actually glad i was born a man and not a w*man

>>41185167
I don't think anyone can argue women don't have it easier in life

>>41180875
>new gender bender slop downloaded and ready for binging
any links, recomendations? shit kinda sucks rn, currently out of nep and out of cash because of family stuff.... when sober forbfew days i get mad becaise of this tranny shit... if your anorectic kikda can youbtake hrt without growing noticeable boobers? kinda thinking about doing it as i have acess to dirt cheap eurospeed if bought at bulk.... mayne it could work...

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>>41185175
do not wish for an easier life but the strength to endure a hard one fren

>>41183167
i've read novels on this board about what agp is but never a good explanation of what causes hsts troons besides that it's gay males attracted to straight males (lol) or what causes truly bisexual agps to exist
t. self aware fully gynephilic agp