everything is in orderi will no longer have to live as amabi hate you /lgbt/ but also i kind of love you toothank you
>>41187417I hope you go without much pain. Sending love.
>>41187417are you finally killing urself anon??good luck!!!!!! make sure ur extra prepared we wouldnt want you surviving and being brain damaged forever would we? ^-^
>>41187477ingesting lots of sodium nitrate so judge that for what you will
>>41187490yes!!!!!!! thank you ^_^
>>41187417Don't kill yourself. I know that doesn't mean much coming from an internet stranger but please just push through for another few days. I care about you.
>>41187496The LD50 (median lethal dose) values for sodium nitrate are as follows:3,430 mg/kg (oral, rat)
>>41187417Please dont do it anon, things will genuinely get better.
>>41187822no you dont, sorry>>41187830i have 1lb and ill take as much as i need to>>41187850they wont but thanks anyways
>>41187986Yes I do, sorry.
>>41187417aren't you curious what life will be like in 50 years when you're olderyou'll miss out
>>41187417i'm sorry to tell you this but chuds will make fun of you for unaliving yourself
>>41188108no not really>>41188118why should i care?
update i have the poison ready for consumption
Please don’t. Things will be different. Just wait. Just wait and see.
>>41189346they will suck whether they are different or notthank you, though
>>41187417you will unfortunately not die and will simply have a painful and embarrassing hospital experience using the method you've described. You should not attempt in this way, see you next week
I’m on your side
i am so sorry for your pain, but please don't do this
poison taken :) love yall!!
>>41189420nta but this tweet pissed me off so much. like why is it so essential that I stick around? so I can torture myself for a couple more decades? my dysphoria isn't gonna go away, my body isnt gonna get any better and society isn't magically just gonna start accepting people like me. so for what? so I can be the laughing stock of every workplace, family gathering, or party? nah I'm good thanks tho.
are you dead?
>>41189806not yet
>>41189798>>41189798People say 'it gets better' because of survivorship bias. It gets better for them, for some reason, so they repeat it, not realizing it's patronizing and annoying.I had years of consistent suicidality. I planned many times and attempted once. I've put my boyfriend's gun in my mouth. I know which meds I have at which dosages would kill me.Every day is like dragging yourself uphill, through mud. Suicidal thoughts are like a brain parasite. Everything feels like it would be easier to die than to do them. They're saying that because they are tone deaf and bad at advice and think everyone is like them. But I know this isn't true. I don't want to patronize you. But life once you get past the suicidal ideation is hard to describe.I genuinely don't know how to put it into words. I feel insane for having considered it. Thankful that I didn't. The thoughts are like a drug, it fucks your mind up. It's blinding. I'm not saying you're crazy or trying to gaslight you, but it's a whole different world, a whole different way of thinking and living. It's freeing and wonderful to live without it. I think the risk of more suffering is worth the persistence to make it there. I don't know what would work for you, I'm sorry. I wish I could. I don't know how to communicate the feeling, it's just... life, and you make it there, and it's like having a whole new existence. Like an alien. I'm sorry you're here and that you've been subjected to this. It's genuine sympathy. It's like watching someone succumb to a leech that put me through so much of the same agony. If you feel okay with sharing, I'd like to know just your first name, so I can remember you at least if no one can. I always worried people would forget me afterwards. Maybe you do too.
>>41190431Rereading this I realize it's saccharine and comes across as being a tryhard. This stuff just affects me. I rarely ever use this website anymore, I just checked because I'm bored and have been sad lately. I genuinely mean all of this, I'm just overly emotional and sappy. This existence we live is insane and it makes sense that people fall through the cracks. It's cruel and it is something I think about a lot, since it was a defining feature of much of my life. You're a human being and don't deserve this. I wish it could be stopped but I am completely powerless. Good people just die. I have been surrounded by death for most of my life. It's not fair, and people have discussed it so much that it's cliche, but it's real and constant and people don't want to acknowledge it, we turn inward and fight and drive people to it ourselves, for no reason. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
>>41189824How about now?
please be alive please be alive
rip anon
>>41190500>>41190431Rare time that one of these appeal posts has a good message and seemingly gets it>t. also a knower
>>41191102i didnt take enough :( it tastes terrible and its hard to get down so i didnt take as much as i should have. theres always tomorrow
>>41187417>kills self for being male>posts picture of two gay boys???
>>41192845L
>>41187417just so you know sodium nitrite is extremely painful, you will be confused and suffocating for a long time before you die as hypoxia sets in.
>>41192854yeah i like yaoi>>41192864got any other methods? i just had. bad stomachache and dizziness
>>41192918there are no painless methods that are easy to do and the chances of fucking any of them up are high, i dont want you to end up with brain damage confined to a wheelchair anon.and go to a hospital please you need methylene blue
Dying doesn't keep you from having been born a man but it will prevent you from living the rest of your life in pursuit of whatever makes you whole. Try drugs instead, they're like dying but you eventually start living again once you come down.
>>41187417
OP herei shit my pants so bad it smelled kinda good so i gave it a taste and its actually really good. i found a reason to live now. thank you everyone for your kind words im going to lick up the rest of my shit now while i goon my sissy clit
>>41187417cute pic makes me want a cute bf
good luck, be careful you dont wanna end up living with some kind of brain damage
>>41192932im fine i dont need methylene blue i just slept it off, ill do better next time (soon™)>>41193478ok buddyalso im a cis man wtf is a "sissy clit" supposed to be
thank god op lived.
>>41195763not for long, im probably gonna try again today or tonight, maybe tomorrow if anything happens and i cant today
>>41187986if you don't think people care about you, why do you post on this site?
>>41195928dont do a stupid method thats gonna take 40000 years to work and will be super painful. also call sui hotline so you can at least say you tried.
>>41187417God told the people who made religion to say that "if you kill yourself you go to hell" to dissuade people from doing it, but actually if you kill yourself you go straight to heaven.
>>41195929because people will replay whether they care about me or notat least if its anonymous it doesnt get ignored immediately for being from me>>41196015im not going back to the psych ward but my other method is helium poisoning itd just be a bit expensive to gather the materials>>41196092its because im making the world a better place :)
>>41196152FUCK ME REPLY NOT REPLAY I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT
>>41196159anon if people didn't care they wouldn't waste their time replying to this thread, you have to believe more on the people on your screen!
wanna talk about how was your day?
I love you anon, please don't die :(
>>41196438they care about the thread, not me>>41196449same shit different day, getting the last out of my dab pens and waiting to be alone so i can try again
>>41196733when are you going to be alone?
>>41196750whenever the house is empty, although someone doesnt have work but she doesnt pay much attention to me so shes not a big issue
>>41197046who do you live with?dont you have anyone you can call and talk to feel less alone?
>>41197122its not about feeling alone
>>41197130then give up on the brainworms, its about what?
>>41197147dysphoria and a growing overwhelming distaste for the idea of living my life
>>41197286dont do itdo literally anything else. have you really seen everything there is to see? youre confident nothing else is worth doing
>>41196092its true god told me soSTRAIGHT UP!!!!
>>41197938im confident yeah. ill take my chances with death over having to live the rest of my life
>>41187417me when i get srs
ok i have come down to two options1. ingest sodium nitrate tonight or tomorrow2. keep myself down until an opportunity comes along for me to earn enough money to go by helium3. otheryou decide!!!
>>41200363OtherStart HRT and then see if your bone strukture is skrewed
>>41200363You can buy me helium you can't have any tho
>>41200363find a community who cares about you and that you can legitimately contribute towards and improve. spend some time distracting yourself with that, develop a sense of purpose, earn some money, spend it on things you enjoy. furnish your life with fun shit, see new places, meet people, go outside. then, once you've spent several decades doing that, you will look back on your suicidal ideation as the anomalous blip that it was and think that it was fucking stupid, you'll be glad you didn't kill yourself.I tried once. my body paralysed itself and fell to the ground before I had the chance to actually jump into oncoming traffic, but four years later, and after attempting to kill myself with alcohol on more than one occasion since, I can close my eyes and see the bus speeding down that road. and every time I'm grateful I didn't take my own life.I fucking promise you it'll get better. a lot of what you're feeling comes down to the familiar comfort of misery pulling you into its false warmth; that emotion is trying to smother you to death, and if you suffer chronic procrastination, procrastinate your suicide as you've procrastinated life so far. put it off as far as it'll go and fill the intervening time with anything else; that thing might turn into a legitimate motivation to keep you going.I promise, as soon as the suicidal process is unstoppable, you'll be hit with an epiphany on how to fix every problem you have except the problem you've just caused by trying to kill yourself. that sounds pretty fucking embarrassing. don't fall for it.
>>41200363It’s gonna snow in the winter and I hope you make it. I hope you can have some hot chocolate. Praying for you
>>41200363Nobody should kill themselves before at least trying psychedelics and heroin
>>41204105im sure this would be wonderfully helpful if i hadnt wanted to kill myself for as long as i could remember and that i can hardly get out of bed in the morning and that im basically just waiting to die. every day i regret not killing myself sooner.>>41202229i was on hrt and i stopped becauae i realises it was stupid and not worth it and that ill never pass and it wont solve the fact that im not a cis woman which is what bothers me so much in the first placefuck i need a boyfriend
did OP die yet
>>41187417Are you bi or a transbian?
>>41207840not yet, i think im gonna go with helium desu>>41207878im a gay man with gender dysphoria
>>41208497simply troonsition before thinking about commiting.
>>41208497Gimme a song rec?
>>41208497Never kill yourself you are precious and a real woman
kill yourself already attentionwhorewhen im going to kill myself im not going to cry about it on the internet
>>41208553was 9mo hrt and realised it wasnt worth it>>41208801it looks sad - creature>>41209060im not a woman though and im not precious, grab any faggy shut-in loser and he’ll be me and more
>>41209365ok well when im going to kill myself im going to cry about it on the internetwhy should i care if you will or not?
>>41209396kill. yourself. already. its obvious that you lying and just made this thread for attention. you're not going to do shit because you're a privileged white male who had everything handed to him on a silver platter.
>>41209382Cute HSTS shut in femcels are very rare
>>41187417A warm thanks on behalf of the trans community; one less malebrained hon in this community.
>>41200363>nitrateuhdon't do it, regardless, but... lol
>>41209453picrel>>41209458im not a femcel or cute im just an ugly faggy incel
>>41187417>today>is gonna be the day>that they're gonna throw it back to you>By now, you should've somehow
>>41209515as a fellow ugly faggy incel just troon out its alright
>>41196092the actual reason you shouldn't kill yourself from a religious standpoint is a lot simpler. why would you kill yourself while you're in the hands of your loving mother? the god who made the sky, the sun, every fish, every hair, every atom, he made you too. he gave you a conscience and a will and is by your side.there was a pastor, imprisoned by the nazis, eventually executed. his last letter to his wife contained a poem called "protected wonderfully by good forces"protected wonderfully by good forceswe await confidently what may comegod is by us in evening and morning,and every new day, most assuredly.i'm not religious, but sometimes, i remember that poem from history class and think to myself about how small my problems really are. i don't even deserve this life and yet i am here
>>41208497i wish i could give you a hug. i really do. i sometimes work with homeless people, and it breaks my heart when they are suicidal. but many of them are.recently, a punk woman with borderline randomly approached me while i was there, though, and she told me how happy she is that the shelter that she passed by exists. how happy and grateful she is. how deep a hole she crawled out of. prison. homelessness. mental illness. drug abuse.it almost made me burst out crying on the spot. she did it. i know you can do it. i know it.
>>41190500I thought that was a good post, anon. I struggle to help people that post these suicidal things, even if I really want to. What can I say? I know too well how bad the pain can be and when I talk to them too much its like peeling away an old scab. What you had to say about how suicidal thoughts become a way to cope with pain, a well worn path to travel down in your brain, until it warps everything, is very true.
>>41209382>it looks sad - creatureNever heard of this but I really like it, thanks anon :) Kind of sounds like shame or something else I can't put my finger on.My rec is pdx!!! (acoustic) - carter c
>>41209614id rather be a man than a hon>>41209648i dont believe in god or really find much in that poem but im glad it helps you anon :)>>41209710of course, im glad you like it! its a favourite of mine :)
>>41209850when did you stop hrt?also post face so we can judge
>>41200363OtherStart HRT, meet other trannies. Trust me, I’m ugly as fuck w/ no job, still beats repping or dying!
>>41187417Can I ask your family to bury you in a Stonetoss T-Shirt?
>>41210324i wont be posting faceit hasnt been very long
>>41211074why not? you can do it in an unsee
>>41211095fine here have the three photos ive taken since my last haircuthttps://unsee cc/album#sQrjDLlMHjcn
>>41211282please don't kill yourself your so sexy aha
>>41211282grow your hair out longer and keep boymoding on e? not fucked with genetics just need more time
>>41211374i got my hair cut after i stopped e because it looked shittyim not a woman and i dont want to transition
>>41211282You're cute but you'll be cuter with long hair
>>41211399i wasnti was far uglier if you can believe that
>>41211399why not transition if you have gd and potential to pass? does dying as a guy sound better to you?
>>41211462i dont really have potential to pass, i just take my selfies at good anglesand yes if it means im not seen as a freak
>>41211479you do have potential to pass. youre not going to be seen as a freak looking like that. you dont have striking masculine features
You look very much like the kind of nerdy boy I’d bully in high school and then take to a storage closet after school to make out with. If you end up deciding to live, I wanna make you my woman. Think about my offer. I’m guessing ur like early 20s, same as me
>>41211588im 18>inb4 youngshit blah blah blahi dont have enough dysphoria to transition. it sucks but not enough for me to want to upend my life and my identity like that. i could go either way.also i wish i got that but unfortunately im like one of a few gay guys my age in town
>>41211776I didn’t say anything about if u had enough dysphoria. I’m saying that I’d make you my wife if you stuck around. It’s a decision I’d make for you that you’d have to go along with. 18 is younger but so long as ur above 18 I don’t mind.
>>41211776What country are you from?
>>41211776>I dont have enough dysphoria to transition.You are literally sitting here killing yourself about it. Normal fags your age are having tons of random sex not doing whatever this is. Take your hrt before you realize you fucked your life for no reason wallowing and poorly attempting suicide.
>>41209382Was it the 9-10mo depresso that hits many?Get back on the woman juice, woman. You've got a life to live. With a very shitty medical condition, but you can get it to a point where you're actually content with it and have happy moments, love included, and fewer and shallower lows.>18>passoid potential>small town lgtvbbqYep, you owe it to your future self and the shitheads that don't support you to give it a proper go. Two years at least, get up to proper levels, learn girl skills, work up to getting to a better place (college, bigger city), while pacing yourself since it ain't gonna be a walk in the park. First step is to postpone the sui for later, and get back on the proper hormones.
>>41211822i wouldnt do that sorry >>41211840us>>41211952yeah my dysphoria sucks but its not the only reason i want to kill myself, if it was id just transition
>>41211994Where would you wanna live?
>>41211994You should be still actively trying just a little bit. At least until you get the courage to do the more reliable methods, if you still want it by then.
>>41211993yeah no sorry if i stick around im not gonna live as a woman. i have no desire to transition anymore.>>41212005a city with a decent music scene so i could try to start on a career surrounding that
>>41211994id like to say dont do it but truthfully? theres a ton of fucked up things going on. i dont know what youre dealing with. i wish i had the means to do anything but be here be sad myself.
>>41212059being sad*
