20 year old me used to browse this board compulsively for rep fuel, probably as a means of self abuse. In the year following, I started hrt, realized my dysphoria was downstream of agp, stopped browsing this board/other trans spaces, stopped hrt, and decided to go all in on living as a man. last year I started hrt again, with the intention of full transition, and began exclusively dating men. I'm not advocating for transition, but personally I am happier and more present now. I guess what I learnt is not to be so dogmatic and intense about this stuff, if you transition you transition, if you don't you don't, just don't build it up to be bigger than it is, or torture yourself over it.
>>41243972Older rep bro force injects me with T to make me as miserable as he is MHMMMMMM
>>41243972I detrooned for a lil bit after 1yr tookinda want to do it again im still pretty confident I’m not trans
>>41243972>dysphoria downstream or agpwhat makes you believe it's not the other way around?Repressed gender dysphoria with no outlet for the feelings causing the brain to cope with this trauma by sexualizing it and this resulting in what people usually call AGP?Women looking like I wish I could dress back when I repped triggered my agp like crazy - after trooning it doesn't anymore
>>41245536>after trooning it doesn't anymoreI still have agp after 3yr hrt so its more the other way round for me
>>41245607HRT doesn't really affect agp all that much by itself - one needs to fully integrate this stuff, so social transition and living as a woman is a fundamental part of the process
>>41245624>social transition and living as a womanI don’t wanna do that tho, I literally just took estrogen so I could stare at my feminized body :|
>>41245607also, what do you mean by AGP when you say "I still have agp"?>>41245640>just took e so I could stare at my feminized bodyyou didn't want to wear dresses and have your hair all nice while having a feminized body? You didn't wish you were seen as a woman while having that feminized body? You didn't want to sound like a woman?
>>41245728I mean I would love those things if I were a woman but I don’t want them bc it would conflict with my internal male identity. And what I mean is my desire to go on hrt was sexual and I’m still on it for the same reasons 3yr later, I didn’t have some revelation about my identity
>>41245841>I would love those things if I were a woman >internal me identify>didn't have revaluation about my identityMy situation was like this: I told myself "it was a fetish" and repped into my way 20s, meanwhile reading tg fiction and being uncomfortable with hetero dating and sex. But all the while if I was honest with myself, I wished I was a woman, I started daydreaming about being a girl when I was like 12 or something - I just didnt think it was normie tranny shit and never seriously considered transitioning.for me, the realization was that I indeed wanted to be a woman and that transitioning might be the only thing I can do to live with these thoughts.For me, I didn't feel like I had "male identity" after the realization. Doing tranny shit felt really weird for a long time, like starting laser, HRT, learning makeup, voice training, then starting girlmoding was super scary, changing my documents didn't even seem real. But I chugged along because I knew from experience I was more comfortable when girlmoding and I knew I wanted this.Also it seemed natural to me because I'm a luckshit and I started malefailing consistently like 0.5 years after I started HRT so I fast tracked the whole deal and Im stealth.
>>41246014>for me, the realization was that I indeed wanted to be a woman>that transitioning might be the only thing I can do to live with these thoughts.because it was difficult for me to live with these thoughts - I tried dating in high school, I hoped the thoughts would go away, and I was a suicidal alcoholic, and I found myself at 23, being ok on the outside and sorta functional, but still plagued with tranny thoughts, no end in sight and no normal relationships ever (friend or romantic). I was at the end of my rope.Transitioning is the only worthy thing I've done in life, that I think is my accomplishment, that I'm proud of and live for.
