> fat fuck> friend calls me egg> crash out> shit maybe she's right> shave beardmy face looks like pic related and I want my beard back. could I be some kind of enby I never hated my beard
>>41258951shut the fuck up and lose some weight, turtle boy
>>41259370been working on it successfully but there is a long road ahead and I feel that I need to figure out my gender shit in the meantime
>>41258951do you miss your beard or do you dislike seeing your face? two very different things. additionally, why did she call you an egg and why did you think she could’ve been right?
>>41259906you just sound very autistic to be honest
>>41259922I dislike seeing my neck. If I wear a scarf I feel about the same/maybe a bit better about how I look compared to how I look with the beard.She called me an egg because of a joke I made it requires a lot of context but basically at the time I just thought it was some funny shit to say, I wasn't trying to communicate anything. If I was it would have had to be some deep subconscious shit.There are a variety of reasons why I think she might have been right anyway> when I was a kid I wanted to be a girl > I've pretty much always wanted some aspect of "feminine" expression, however for a long time it was more like I wanted to look like semi androgynous male rockstars like Freddie Mercury with long hair, young Robert Plant, young David Lee Roth, etc> I've pretty much always had long hair and I couldn't picture myself without it. If I woke up with a fresh fade I would probably rope> for some years i've been experimenting with my expression. tried a kilt and I like it, tried handbags and I like em, I love jewelery and perfume> in this vein I cut my bangs recently and I love em, I remember looking in the mirror and I couldn't stop smiling. I did think it looked rather feminine and I liked that> I'm bisexual but I don't like watching gay porn, I like watching straight porn and imagining myself as the girl> I spent many years jerking off to feminization related materials but stopped as I don't like the fetishization aspect and I don't want it to affect how I view my IRL friends> I like and relate to a lot of trans related media, especially music
>>41260234cont'dThere are also a variety of things that seem rather inconsistent with that> I like my big shoulders> When I was fit (athlete in HS) I had that upside down triangle body shape which I liked> don't feel much like this lately but I often liked my beard and having that viking look>don't really dislike any of my secondary sex characteristics except that I wish my hairline was lower (finasteride has helped me maintain it but I'd still rather it be lower) and my fat distribution being mostly abdominal (but that could just be that I hate being a fatass. Idk if I'd feel better if it was more in my ass and legs)> don't really think I want titties> I often enjoy masculine social dynamics including testosterone fueled chimping out> I don't feel like puberty was a bad experience or traumatic for me like it seems it is for most trans people> shaving my face caused me to dissociate for a day or twoso idk what I am. I could be non-binary or some kind of chaser fetishist or I could be trans and I really don't know which
>>41260023I am certainly somewhat autistic (diagnosed)
>>41260234>>41260241definitely a tough call. i’d wager that you aren’t a tranny given your dedication to certain masculine traits and characteristics, even if you don’t want all that masculinity entails. you could just have agp, but if so it would only explain so much. if i had to guess, i’d say you’re nonbinary in an agender sort of way, you don’t necessarily dislike or like one gendered box over the other, you simply like what you like from both regardless of gendered connotations. what you should be doing with this information, i’m not sure, and obviously things might change with further introspection.
>>41260241not trans, beard, Viking look, inverted triangle body would make you freak tf out if you were dysphoric
>>41260388yeah that makes a lot of sense. idk what to do with that either but thank you for the input it genuinely helps quite a bit
>>41260241You're a sissy congrats
