I'm talking 30+. Those of our age know it sucked having tranny thoughts as kid unless you grew up in a major city and even then it still sucked. When they showed you people on tv who were trans they made them as degen and crazy looking as possible. If I had grown up in NYC theres a decent chance I would have run off to join one of those ballrooms but no I grew up in rural, conservative inbredville. No one I could trust to express my thoughts to. Online pharma was either non existent or way sketchier. No doctor would have taken me seriously.So I learned how to rep. It might be the thing I'm actually the best at. I always wonder what else I'd be great at if I didn't have to put so much effort into repping. I got so good at it that it became second nature and hard to abandon. And that's why I trooned late. I'm not saying all this to complain or say some particular generation has it easier. I'm just vaguely outlining my story. So how do you do fellow lateshits? What caused you to be a lateshit? Grid iron will power? Fear? Indoctrination?
I started at 32.
i've been on and off hrt for my entire 20s just trying to commit to it lmaoit wasn't too hard to get hrt i'm just a retard
>>41273695you're gorgeous
>>41273619By the look of some late trannies, it’s gonna be alright.
>>41273619does 25 count if i knew at 15having tranny thoughts back then was a fucking nightmare, i thought i was gonna be homeless if i thought it too loud
>>41273619Seems like a lifetime ago. Started HRT at 31. Should have done it at 21 instead of pretending it would go away. Didn't know transitioning was a thing or what trannies were before then. I thought they were hermaphrodites and were just born like that
>>41273862holy shit you look like a lady named rita or smth similar desu
>>41273931Not sure if that was meant as a compliment or an insult but Rita is a pretty cool name
>>41273695nice>>41273711i feel you on that>>41273792While not originally the target, you clearly endured a long period of time of repping. For me it was very hard to shake that. It was all I knew. How did you switch it off?>>41273862nice. yeah I just thought I was destined to be a freak (maybe i am) and that repping would work. I had the thoughts since I was really young before any sexual interest. I saw drag competitions (like Miss Continental type ones) and then realized "wow they have surgery too". I was enthralled with any sort of gender bending mtf things I saw on tv. I didn't know why.
>>41273985i finally left my ex fiance because our relationship was trash and she was a nightmaregot my own place for the first time, ordered hrt online and put it on my bedside table with a syringei lasted about a month
>>41274031way to be. how are things now? all things considered of course
>>41274057oh i'm doing pretty good nowim working on my career, i have one option im super excited about (but might be illegal for trans people next year) and another that i'm less excited about (but will be just fine legally and also not a bad job at all)transition is going okay, i had to stop laser because im not home for almost the rest of this year, which means my stubble is coming back and it makes me wanna peel my face off, but that's not anything new
>>41274088still have no clue why my pics post sideways but ok
>>41273619>What caused you to be a lateshit?I started manmoding at 29 after seeing multiple transition timelines on here of someone who I thought started around my age. Later found out the anon only looked old and started at 19 but I’m still on hrt so it was enough to push me over the edge.
>>41274088looking good. I have dark hair too so it shows very quickly. luckily i never had much facial hair outside the mustache and goatee area. I'm brushing up my python skills and refreshing my math background. hoping to get into an options trading company but i'd be fine doing global macro research or political economy stuff.
>>412740934chan removes the metadata upon upload and some camera software records the picture orientation there. One workaround is taking a screenshot of the pic before uploading
>>41273619yes lateshit here. I completely missed any signs besides crushing suicidality but happy and fine now. I remember first realizing I might be a tranner and thinking I'd have to be a prostitute and do every surgery because thats all I knew about them. I didn't know you could just lead a normal whatever life and I completely shut down the idea for a while.
>>41273985for me, my earliest memory of anything trans, was my parents telling a story about how they thought I was gonna be a girl until I was born and how happy my dad was he got a son instead. I figured something happened that changed the outcome and that's why I felt different but this is the hand I was dealt and I just gotta live with it.The whole concept of trannies just went over my head even when it was obvious. Like I just saw them as they presented. It never occurred to me that people could change their sex hormones
>>41274123very cooli'm in aviation, they removed the guidelines that allowed trans people to get medically certified, we're all kinda waiting to see what that meansif it goes bad, will do drones, already got all my licensing in order for both. just waiting.>>41274136appreciated
I'm 36 and on hrt again . Was on it before at like 28 but couldn't deal
>>41274171yes i was suicidal too. I got on wellbutrin in my earlier 20s. my life probably would have been better in some ways had i been able to convince my mom about it when i was younger. I also thought i'd have to be a escort or at least in some sort of performance thing.>>41274189yeah the whole transformative thing with surgery really blew my mind>>41274249yeah that makes sense. I figured it was something with some sort of gov connection. you still seem to be in an overall good field. best wishes on all that.
>>41273619I was 36 when I got my referral for the gender clinic and 38 when I was finally permitted to start HRT. I'd been feeling that way since I was 14, but repressed it for 22 years
Plenty of us out there. Started at 31, I'm 36 now.
I think boomertrannies are kind of cool, in all likelihood I will go for it at a much younger age but idk I think going through so much of life as a man and then just saying "fuck it" is kind of a +respect move.
>>41273619I finished high school in the 90s, and back then even homosexuals were a brand new thing, transitioning basically didn't exist, unless you wanted to be one of those Paris Is Burning freaks or a street whore, and it's pretty sad because at that age a little dab of lipstick and mascara and I would have looked like F1nn5ter, but it just wasn't socially acceptable in those days.Nowadays we have Instagram and Tiktok and cameras on our phones, and when you post yourself you get hundreds of people telling you nice things, and I kinda wish that all that stuff had existed when I was 16 but back in my day you had to man up and accept your role or else be an outcast, sooo..
>>41274470I knew one who was in desert storm, and i think its the coolest thing ever that they were more of a man then most men and then decided that wasn't who they wanted to be.
>>41274476I've mentioned on this board before that a band I listened to back in the 90s had a lead singer who was openly bi. That was unthinkable at the time. My, how times have changed
>>41274491it blows my mind how deeply ingrained all the lgbt hate is, it makes me really sad.My pet theory is that there are a lot of pedo degenerates in the world, but because its just a sex thing to them they are happy in the shadows and the powerful ones like to pin everything bad that happens on the queers and its been working for a thousand years.
>>41274491The 90s was the first time it was allowed, and even then it was kinda scandalous. Even Elton John and Freddie Mercury had to pretend they were straight until the 90s kek
>>41274515It wasn't hate tho Anon it was literally a brand new thing. Like gay people had always existed but it just wasn't acceptable to say it openly, just because that's the way it was in those days. There was a huge social revolution in the early 90s and then homosexuality started getting pushed everywhere in media to make it acceptable, and even then it was only lesbian characters at first to make it more palatable to the public (Seinfeld, Friends, Frasier) it really was brand new in the 90s. Trans didn't become even thinkable until after the next social revolution in 2012. People forget how new all this stuff really is.
>>41274549i thought if you were gay before like the 70's they would give you electroshock therapy, and they explicitly made sodomy laws and such.
>>41274518I'm watching the Ed Gein series on Netflix right now, and it delves into Anthony Hopkins' sexuality being the reason Hitchcock chose him for the role
>>41274443yeah we're close in age. i think it's really hard to stop repping when you do it for so long like that. for a while it was basically the most consistent thing in my whole life.>>41274380what was going on when you were 28?>>41274462what's you skin care routine?>>41274480tru trial run>>41274476i think i would have been such a hoe if i trooned earlier lol
Can't relate. I was a 'transition or die trying' type millennial.>>41274476>unless you wanted to be one of those Paris Is Burning freaks or a street whoreOne of my friends was a hooker. There was no community back then so people would mingle just because they were trans, even if they had nothing in common. It was like finding Waldo.
>>41274568Pretty sure it was in the DSM as a mental illness, just like trans was until very recently
>>41274595you mean Gender Identity Disorder (GID) to Gender Dysphoria (GD)?
>>41274575>what's you skin care routine?For context, my own sebum (skin oil) irritates my skin, so I have to be a bit more aggressive with cleansing.In the morning:>cosrx low ph good morning gel cleanserI like it a lot, but if you don't have any issues with sebum or your skin being excessively oily, just use plain tap water>vit cuse any brand that you like, there's a buttload of them both cheap and bougie>round lab birch juice moisturising sunscreenlove itI don't wear any makeup because throughout the day I have to wash my face with water multiple times because my face starts to redden and swell because of sebum, I just reapply sunscreen afterwards.In the eventing I have 2 routines>lrp effaclar micro-peeling purifying gel or cerave foaming cleanserreally depends on how my skin feels that day>cosrx the 6 peptide skin boosterit's ok>copper peptidesand then if it's a tret day I do>cerave moisturising lotion >tret 0.05%the order is important here, you want tret to be on top of your moisturiseror if it's an exfoliating day I do>the ordinary glycolic acid 7% exfoliating toner>cerave moisturising lotion Also, sometimes I won't use either tret or glycolic acid and just apply moisturising lotion, I usually do it on my gym days because my skin gets pretty tired from all the sweating and whatnot.Reposted to fix a typo in the tret concentration, shit can hit the fan if it's too strong.
>>41275075Oh, forgot another one, if during the day I don't need to wear sunscreen, I use>cosrx advanced snail 96 mucin power essence My skin likes it a lot, but ymmv, it can be a pretty bad allergen. That's why I don't use products with propolis, they send my rosacea into frenzy.And not I'm not a cosrx shill. I live in asia I tried many asian and specifically korean brands, but ended up using mostly cosrx products because I had no adverse reactions and they're pretty budget friendly. It's also why I use basic ass cerave moisturiser, I tried bougie shit, and it made me break out, even other heavier cerave moisturisers make me break out, the basic lotion is the one I tolerate the best.
>>41273619>Came out at 28 to a few people>started hormones at 31>currently 34Its going well my hair is almost entirely grown back and I got solid B cups.Well first I didn't know about hormones and was dealing with a lot of religious trauma and bullying. Then I found out about HRT in my early 20s when my ex came out and I saw them shooting T. I went into firm denial when almost all of the queers in my life cut me out at the same time as my fiance and I split, my family went onto bankruptcy and I found out I wasn't going to be able to become a teacher because I ran out of funds for a final year after knocking it out of the park for 4. I didn't get to move out until 25 and when I did it was to a ghetto, I didn't have money for fin or minox so I tried to suck it up while all my hair fell out.I think in a world where I didn't get savaged by life in my early 20s I could have transitioned and based on my results probably would have been a passer. Its kind of weird I spent 13->22 trying to make the most of being a boy since i didnt have a choice, partying, excelling in school, dating nonstop. I kind of became a bit of a whore and the only reason I slowed down at all was my life suddenly exploding. It humbled and hobbled me pretty hard, I wonder what life could have been like if it was just straight up like the previous decadeI still managed to ask out a lifelong bi woman friend, we got married and we agreed to conceive then I could start hormones.Currently 3 years into hormones and my daughter will be 3 soon. She has only ever known me as mom and I love her so much
>>41275075Thank you. I’m probably going to get some laser work done before. I feel so ugly all the time. I’m using arazlo right now though. But I’m screenshotting what you wrote. I’m using cetaphol now but I’m wondering if they changed something in the ingredients. It feels oilier now. >>41275353Congrats on all of that anon. Honestly very inspiring. I’m currently in a bit of a mental rut myself due to a whole slew of things. And I can say I probably tried to make the best of my time as a guy too.
>>41275834>cetapholI never liked cetaphil, back in the day people were shitting on cerave and saying that cetaphil was the dermatologists' og, but even their cleanser was either drying my skin out or making me break out.
>>41273619i knew what trannies were since i was 15 and i knew what hrt was since theni repped until 24 then started hrt at 30 i'm pathetic
Started at 30. Basically had to get away from my family and cut them all off.
>>41274575>what was going on when you were 28?I had a full-on dysphoria anxiety attack and couldn't deal with continuing, but in retrospect, it might have been caused by going off hrt since I was broke and going back on them. A hormonel imbalance .
Started at 35, ffs made me very pretty. But vfs was a disaster destroying my voice and life.
>>41276086I will give cerave a try. I felt it moisture didn’t last long enough for me when I first tried it>>41276100I feel the same way >>41276759Nice transition>>41277270That makes sense especially if you’re already anxiety prone. My sleep has been wrecked for years from anxiety and I finally got trazodone to help with it.>>41278043Is it fixable? What happened?
>>41273619Tried at 26 to transition. Stopped and repped after 3 months. Moved across the country. Tried again at 29 and it’s stuck so far. Got scared to stick with it living in the south and figured I’d be unloveable forever as a tranny. Still kind of unloveable but at least I don’t really look like a man anymore. At best I’m looking mostly androgynous but it’s better than being a man
>>41276759way too heavy on the eye makeup, you'd look better without
Started very late 20s30s nowLife is going okHave an unfortunate (handsome) face wanna save up for ffsBody is alrightHaven't socially transitioned much. A good few years in now. Life is niceEverything is complicatedI am confused
>>41276759>everybody else is wrong but me
>>41274392> I got on wellbutrin in my earlier 20sya i ended up taking every antidepressant under the sun and it helped but I also had this huuuuuge gap in my identity. It just didn't exist and I couldn't figure out why nothing stuck. It wasn't until I really decided to transition that it was like oh there she is, woah. Like glue.
>>41279880>Is it fixable? What happened?Surgeon fucked everything up. Aftercare nothing but gaslighting. Little hope of passing voice so career and social life destroyed. But still attractive in early 40s so life is still worth something.
>>41273619not true lateshit but started at 27, now 29. i repped because growing up i was a low self-esteem, socially awkward child from a conservative social environment. i had a glow up after puberty and also became really tall so i suddenly started getting a lot of positive attention and validation as a guy that i wasn't used to. i think i was mostly afraid of losing that, being socially rejected, ending up alone, etc. was eventually able to stop worrying so much about what other people thought of me when i found a career that gave me a sense of purpose and usefulness.
>>41276100i dont think you're pathetic. transition is scary and comes with huge material, emotional, and social costs. its unironically brave to do it at all. i hate the crabs in a bucket "i'm more valid because I knew when i was in utero and had never heard of trans people and was raised by frothing religious fundamentalists" mentality. people take things at different paces and have different things going on and it makes me sad to see people on this board beat themselves up over it.
>>41281128Which surgeon?
>>41273695oh ya i remember you posting before, you are a legitimate inspiration and i wish for u the best of days. hope ur getting through lazer alright.
>>41281609Yeson
>>41273695Now post a pic of you with the same angle and pose as the before pic
>>41273619Being a lateshit on tttt is like being a beggar in a room of millionaires
>>41281633But Yeson's technique doesn't have real complications. The webbing can come undone if you cough but worse would happen with femlar.
>>41279901are you in the south for work?>>41280025yes I need FFS too. there are guys who would kill for my jawline :(>>41281128My 'hsts' friend is stunningly attractive and passable but never bothered to voice train. Still has gay voice. But it doesn't matter because she just owns it.>>41281448Yes. I can see some of myself in this. I imagine actually many 30+ lateshits can. What career?
>>41281900human services type beat at a very progressive agency. i havent sent the name and pronouns email yet because i started HRT in grad school and was terrified about finding a job, but now that i'm more established im doing it on friday for national coming out day. :)
>>41281886He failed to adress my asymmetry and damage from earlier surgery. My voice is too low, hoarse and has a nasty crack. Still 100% male. Yeson tells me to keep taking clonazepam and voice train even after sending multiple stroboscopy videos clearly demonstrating these issues.
>>41279880>I will give cerave a try. I felt it moisture didn’t last long enough for me when I first tried itThat's because the one I use and the one that you prob tried is for normal to dry skin, they now have newer different products for dry and very dry skin. I have combi-oily skin, so I can't use those because I start getting pimples. Use the product that's most suitable for your skin type.
>>41273716Thank you <33>>41281619I've been done laser for a while. There's just one tiny spot on my chin that I need to go back and get done. So irritating.>>41281643Nah.
>>41273619I'm as old as they come tbqh>So how do you do fellow lateshits? What caused you to be a lateshit? Grid iron will power? Fear? Indoctrination?where I moved to as a child and grew up had pretty bad gatekeeping, strict customs control, coupled with family issues, leaving home young and povertyone of the avenues I tried to circumvent 5-7 year wait list death sentence ended up just wasting time tbqh
>>41273619I trooned out a month before my 30th birthday. Can I post ITT?
>>41282126What earlier surgery? Was it a trachea shave or something else?
>>41282056good to hear that. I'm looking for a new job and I'm so scared. Not just socially but the way the market is too. >>41282251what's the specific one you use? i have the same skin type>>41282359how are you doing now?>>41282365yes because I'm pretty sure much of this board considers 30+ boomer territory at this point.
>>41282551Ye, trachea shave
How shit is it to honmode? I suspect I may not be able to pass, but idk being a tranny sounds awesome but I want to be able to have jobs and stuff even the medical aspect doesn't fully work out.
>>41284608You gotta live in Portland or NYC or something. Good luck in some pseudo-city.
>>41273695Extremely wholesome
I started at 27 but also went off HRT for a bit then went back up but my levels were wonky for a while bc they were way too high. Uh anyway idk, hoping for the best, for a while I was lazy enbymoding and I guess I still see myself as fundamentally nonbinary but I'm actually putting effort into presenting as a woman now. Suddenly stuff like the shape of my face hurts soo much more to look at :(. oh well I guess I'll start saving up for FFS. i actually feel kinda decent about the rest of my face though and i'm cautiously optimistic. thanks for reading my blog post.
>>41273619I stopped considering myself anything in these terms but tldc >born intersex>went through “corrective sexual therapy as a kid” stop being a faggot lol>HEAVY substance abuse (15-28)>I started at 23ish, stopped at 25 because I’m retarded and tried kms and lots of drugs/booze >4 years of hell and I’m back on it again>in November its gonna be 5 years
>>41284608Not the age of most people here but it depends where you live. I imagine America is ideal in terms of treatment on the street and also being able to get a job. I’m in a less populated part of the uk and it’s rough here, I have to be extremely careful of where I choose to go while presenting but even then some of the worst harassment I’ve received has been on high streets in the middle of the day. The job situation is also rough, I’ve only got my current job because I told them on the application I’m a straight man and I just have to keep up a very weak facade at work. I never get gendered female of course but it’s not like the people here are polite enough to gender you female if you’re girlmoding lol. The thing is transitioning is amazing if you know it’s enough to help your dysphoria, it’s helped me a lot and I’m extremely content in my body now, but people can be fucking assholes and unfortunately the only options are growing thicker skin or getting lucky and finding a place to live without them. This is maybe a bit ranty sorry but I just really wish you the best anon and hope you consider it more <3
>>41282609>what's the specific one you use? i have the same skin typeTbf, they have many lighter options these days which we don't have them in thailand. I just checked their US site, and they have >Oil Control Moisturizing Gel-CreamIt's specifically for combi to oily skin, I'd like to try that, but we don't have that one here yet.Rn I'm using their>Daily Moisturizing LotionIt's basic, it's a workhorse. They added new intensive version recently, and it's too thick and makes me break out like crazy. I'm still dealing with the consequences T_TAnyway, it's one of those things that you just have to try because we all have individual intolerances. Idk where you live, but could you try asking for testers in pharmacies? Here they give them out like candies, but I've heard that in the US they're super stingy with those for some reason. Maybe ask your derm for testers? I think many derms in the US work with LRP and CeraVe.
>>41285310> Suddenly stuff like the shape of my face hurts soo much more to look at :(.I’ve been there. It was so energy draining. >>41285358What substances? Back on it for 5 years as in HRT? If so props>>41285639>Oil Control Moisturizing Gel-CreamI just ordered that!And yeah I’m in the US in a big city and they are stingy lol
I don't remember most of what happened to me during the decade I spent repping after the first time I started, I probably would have just faded away and died if I hadn't restarted hrt.
>>41285844>I just ordered that!Jelly. According to our local cerave site, we should have it here in Thailand, but neither their official shop, nor pharmacies that sell their products have it rn T_T
sometimes i suspect that i secretly want to become a boomerhon sissy bcs i didnt use my midshit ticket 12 years ago...
>>41273862>Didn't know transitioning was a thing or what trannies were before then. I thought they were hermaphrodites and were just born like thatI thought all of them intersex and HRT works on intersex only lol
>>41286114I just manmode, lost my chance to live and I don't really feel like transitioning socially would help me in any way, if anything it would be detrimental to my life maybe going out en femme few times a year but nothing more, I still don't plan on quitting hrt as it helps my head greatly.
>>41286114It's all age cope, trans girls pass at any age, trans fakes need age cope.
>>41284584Maybe the warning not to get a trachea shave was serious.
>>41286553For me it's the age range more than passing, like people my age don't fill up bars or have fun in general.
>>41286568This was just bad luck, stop victim blaming.
>>41285844Really I haven’t used Heroine and meth, but I used to do a lot of e and rave/party/designer drugs; that and smoke about 2 packs a day and drink most every night I was a disastrous human being, but the cigs were the worst imo I started at 15 and quit at 30
>>41287761Yeah I guess it has been 5 years or just about lol
anyone also an lateshit at life (had a job, uni, irls, serious relationship etc. before 30)
>>41274589>Can't relate. I was a 'transition or die trying' type millennial.pretty sure there's people like this who transitioned after 30 considering i met multiple who only managed to get hrt at like 28-29
>>41287446But his website always says a trachea shave can interfere with the procedure.
>>41288212>jobsQuit, fired, just never came back, I’ve had too many jobs>uniI’m a dropout>irlsLike frens, sometimes>serious relationshipNo
>>41288212I basically did nothing with my life for 30 years, just recently got a job and today I realized I built my life to get a job where I receive tons of male attention, I feel like such a whore but damn, when they look at me in the eye and start talking to me I feel so good, guess my friend was right.
>>41286016What do you do for work in Thailand? >>41287761Well that’s good that you’re off that. I’ve only done weed, coke, acid and shrooms. I still smoke weed a little but it does not work how it did when I was young. I drink significantly less than I did when I was in my early 20s now too. >>41288212I have a decent job but there are no growth opportunities so I feel that way after being here for 10 years. It’s why I’m brushing up on calc and linear algebra to along with python. >>41290093I mean is it negatively affecting your life at all? Sounds fine and good if it lets you comfortably do what you want to do.
Basically I never knew that I was trans. I've always had serious problems with my appearance but it never clicked until the first semester of 2023 when I started becoming symptomatic with a mental illness called gender dysphoria Took me six fucking months to realize what the hell was wrong with me and when I did I was in denial for 30 days when I realized what I had to do Fun fact: it was gilticus who cracked my egg and it was pretty traumatic I still can't look at that motherfucker without feeling profoundly ill physically
Of cours thread dies after I post
>>41290825Well no, the job is great, it's just that I feel dirty for acting like that, I try to hide it as good as I can and I don't know if they notice it, but their attention gets me airheaded often talking too much and eagerly waiting for the next conversation. I try to not get any dumb ideas as talking to them is basically my job but I don't want to take advantage of that.
>>41290861First semester? Grad school? I really can’t narrow it down to a single specific trans person cracked my egg. But people like Carmen Carrera, Trace Lysette, and honestly some porn actresses like Jane Marie and Domino Presley had an influence. Many of the transwomen from the Miss Continental pageants too.
Started at 27, 29 now got ffs soon and im very worried. Im sure the surgery will go fine and ill look nice because my face isnt completely fucked rn but I worry about the disassociation and depersonalization that I might feel over not recognizing my own face
>>41290825I stopped drinking around 27, id vomit every morning crying in the shower, I would joke and laugh afterwards saying I was exercising my demons lol >>41291580that’s interesting, like it just happened then for you? I remember as a child like I must have been around 8 or 9 when I found the words to say (although I don’t think I knew what transexualism was until I had my childhood therapist, who’s solution was to ignore it and extra curricular activities same with being interested in guys but that’s a different part of my mental fuckery) but the feeling had existed before that. Like were you able to articulate that feeling more thoroughly rather than a child’s mumble
>>41273619>What caused you to be a lateshit?Basically I fell into chudcoping really hard and then severe depression that made taking any kind of action difficult, until it finally broke me desu.
>>4127361928 here on 1 year hrt and starting now to reliably malefail>What caused you to be a lateshit?Was at an all time low point in an abusive relationship with a woman that I entered because my family expected heteronormal nuclear lifestyle of me and decided that things couldn't get any worse so I stopped repping, divorced her, and stopped hiding my feelings for men
>>41291780You just have to own it. I’m sure you will be okay. Congrats on having ffs lined up. >>41292229Yes when I go drinking now with friends it’s rough on me. Maybe leftover sleep meds in my body but either way stopping alcohol is not a bad thing so I take it as a sign. >like it just happened then for you?I didn’t know how to articulate how I felt. I knew I was different. I was 12 looking at miss continental pics and just unable to articulate why I was so enthralled. Shortly after discovered the concept of transsexualism but didn’t have the introspection as a kid to apply it to me. I didn’t live in an area where I could go out dressed or even confide in someone because it’s a small trashy town. There were a few good families there but I really hate that place other than the cost of living. >>41292279Yeah the depression makes it tough. I just felt and still feel so tired all the time. What was the tipping point?>>41292339I feel like that’s how my relationships with cis women were when I dated them. I think I was just so high libido that I could trick myself into being into them.
>>41292527>What was the tipping point?It wasn't anything in particular, one day I just fell into thinking about it and decided I wanted to feel happy with my body for once, so I'd do everything short of HRT. Now a year later and I'm on the edge of no longer stopping short. Right now it's just nerves about ordering/using it.
>>41292527>it’s a small trashy town. There were a few good families there but I really hate that place other than the cost of livingI know the feeling, I went to public school but we had “Hell houses” and “prayer at the pole/lockers” in school, there was also getting beaten up which I’m sure has made me a very isolated person the older I’ve gotten, few life lessons taught me more about people than waking up in field with ribs, nose, and eye socket broken and busted up. I remember being scared and lying saying that I tripped on the stairs … looking back that’s really fucked
>>41273619Yeahh, i started at 31 but estrogen is kinda hitting me like a truck and I'm a giga luckshit anyways so it feels kind of like stolen valor.
>>41292591I think it took an acid trip for me. Those always led to "realizations" and from what i understand scientifically, more openness. You're ordering online? Do you have a doc?>>41292648I'm sorry that happened to you anon. It is really fucked. I hope you're ok now (mentally I mean). I've discovered I'm most likely bipolar II and I hate most of the meds that they hand out to deal with it. I hope you're in a safe area now. >>41293644I've found staying in shape helped me a lot. I always worked out my lower body way more even when I was repping as "just in case I troon but i totally won't" sort of thing. also I coped by saying "yeah well women like a guy with a big ass too".
>>41293787>You're ordering online? Do you have a doc?Ordering online, yes. There's no way I could get it through the 'official' channels. Not only am I too ashamed to be open about it, but I still live in the same sort of conservative area I grew up in so finding professionals who'd be supportive would be hard. Also an American in a red state, meaning there's a good chance they'll straight out ban it, or make it so insurance won't cover it, so there's probably no need to get used to prescriptions. I also fucking hate doctors visits, and any prescription basically chains you to some useless meet and talk for 5 minute sessions every few months with every single professional involved.
Ngl, this carrera posting feels sus af, like I'm talking to some boomer skinwalker who's about to bust in his satin panties or some shit. Please, stop.
>>41273619I'm a recently late-30s repper who started posting here as a mid-30s repper, so, I don't know if that's what you're looking for, but, how's it going?>>41274462Oh hey. Glad to see you're still alive and active on here. Always thought you were one of the most levelheaded visible posters on /tttt/.>>41293825That seems fair. It is a bit much, using her every single time.I personally hate her, but that's cos she represents everything I could have/should have been. All that shit.
>>41293817do you have plans on moving elsewhere? my mom would love if i lived close to her but she's in a reddish state and honestly there's nothing like a big city there. yeah doctors visits for me are a pain because i feel like it's so hit or miss. and even though i have health insurance i still hate wasting the copay. >>41293825Oh I like her. I'm jealous of her looks and I decided to keep using her pics to ID myself. The over-attribution is unwarranted.>>41293910>I'm a recently late-30s repper who started posting here as a mid-30s repper, so, I don't know if that's what you're looking for, but, how's it going?alright more or less. I just always thought I was super old on this board. I get what you mean about the could have/should have been. I just always say "what's done is done". I definitely wish my youth was different and I discovered myself much sooner but I have to max out what I have left.
>>41293950>discovered myself much soonerDo you think of yourself as a late bloomer? I don't cos I knew since middle school. I just went through periods of being scared of my family and trying to be normal, punctuated by lengthy periods of self-loathing.
>>41291580First semester as in during the first 6 months of 2023, I was 31 years old
>>41293910>Oh hey. Glad to see you're still alive and active on here. Always thought you were one of the most levelheaded visible posters on /tttt/.Heeey, yeah, I'm still around. Don't post much tho. And I'm definitely not levelheaded, a few months ago I got booted from a tranny discord server for being toxic :v
>>41293787I try not to think about things being good or bad, desu my life is shit and like I accept that as the cards I’ve been dealt, I hate it and I’m trying to escape it but “c’est la vie” gotta just role with the punches or ime boots to the face and ribs
