anxious that it wouldnt work and simultaneously that it would work and i would hate the results. it does work, its subtle it doesnt make you a cis woman, and ive been happy with the results. 1.5 years on it.

>>41276764
I'm feeling extremely anxious, negative and kind of positive all at the same time lately, and I don't know if I'm actually trans now that I'm so close to finally starting, feels very off

The first time I was afraid, some years prior I got the suggestion I honestly never considered it as I always thought I didn't need it so I didn't go for it, couple of years before starting, someone else kept pushing me to it until I finally decided to accept it.
I didn't have any solid info about it so I went with the little I found and got some pills, for almost 6 months I kept changing dosage, although I was getting some results I wasn't feeling well physically and got tachycardia and that scared me a lot so I quit.
Took me quite a while but returned to it, this time with more info, been getting nice but fewer changes but also my health is fine, just crossed the same amount of time I spent on hrt the first time around but now I feel great and I don't plan on quitting.

>>41276824
yeah i get that. one of the ways that grounded me is to go over the effects of estrogen and if i would prefer that to testosterone. dont worry so much about labels but rather "do i want the effects of this medication". personally that was one thing that had remained at least somewhat consistent. i wanted what e was offering, i would also get anxious that at some point in the future i would not want it and regret it but you know there was no guarantee that it would be the case. take a deep breath. changes will be slow especially in the first few months. if you find yourself hating the effects for whatever reason just stop at least then you tried it and know whether or not you like it. good luck anon.

>>41276853
Yeah, I'm thinking of writing a list of the effects of male and female hormones, bad and good and decide after understanding what I'm actually getting into (I have looked into it before, but I'll do it again to be completely sure)

>>41276747
i felt very sussy like the imposter, yes

>>41276747
from what i remember i was feeling a little impatient (which isnt normal for me usually im very patient) bc i just wanted the testosterone out of my system & to replace my primary hormone asap. i knew anything it could do for me would be better than where i was at before.

>>41278075
Yeah! I can't deal with this shit hormone anymore,

>>41276747
i was pretty suicidal before starting and desu saw transitioning as a last resort for some reason so the days immediately before had the same nothing feeling I had had for the past 6 months before. Tough to remember exactly cause my life feels distinctly split into 2 parts now but I recall thinking 'this is my last day as a guy' and there was this finality about it, but not a dramatic one