im a stupid boymoding failuremoder and there’s a man my heart pines for and it pains me so deeply because due to a multitude of factors ill never be able to love him or be in his arms, and to attempt to pursue something with him would be incredibly inappropriate to do soit hurts so much because i care about him deeply and just want to be good for him and want to be there for him and spoil him and i can’t really do any of those things, i just want to cook nice meals for him and be there for him but it’s impossible and it hurts so badi don’t understand why im like this, i hate that my heart has done this to me. i dont know what to do, surely other tranners/boymoding failures have been through something similar?? i cant be the only one right??
Idk I'm currently being eaten alive by the pain of undefined mutual attraction and vulnerability being suddenly and confusingly rescindedGay not trans thoughI can't really get over it either I'm just ruminating every day over him still Life is hard as a yearner
I have no clue. Simply suffer, I suppose. There's a friend of mine where we're both pretty flirty with each other, but I know he doesn't like me the way I like him
>>41282877many people are interested in people they don’t have any chance of getting with. It’s definitely a big issue with gay young guys who might develop a crush on a friend who’s 100% straight.Grow up
>>41282920i feel that, it really is truly hard to not be able to have a chance at who your heart pines for because of immutable things, i dont even know how to get over it myself>>41282945something something man’s search for meaning, but idk if he’s flirty you might want to try getting it closer like maybe taking him to the movies or out for dinner or something…it’s worth a shot, you only live once and all that>>41282949i know i should just grow up because it’s really not a unique problem but idk how i can, this is the second time its happened and i feel like its just going to keep happening over and over againit just hurts so bad because my heart wants him so much…the highlight of my day is texting him occasionally and i think about him when i wake up and go to sleep, the more i learn about him the more i feel attracted to him, i even fantasize about him which i feel so bad about because it feels so inappropriate and dirty but i can’t help myself sometimes…i try and make myself better for him and even practice things like cooking recipes he likes and just nice food in general, often times i end up crying while cooking because im just alone in my house with no one to serve it to and i know ill never be able to be with him or really any man like him, i just feel so hopeless.
>>41282877>How to deal with unrequited loveBasicallyIf you've got feels big enough for someone that it hurts and you can't stop thinking about them. It's cause there's something missing in how you treat yourself basically. And how you get over that is viewing the hole that you're trying to fill with this ideal of a potential relationship with this person, and fill it with being so much fun and caring towards yourself that you're never looking for people to patch the holes of emptiness in your life ever again, and then, when someone comes into your life, you're both overflowing rather than there being a severe imbalance in needs and emotional resources.
>>41283062>it’s going to keep happening Yes it will but if you grow up you won’t be falling in love with people who won’t love you back like that. Not only are you driving yourself crazy but you’re missing out on a potential great FRIENDSHIP, by lusting after them romantically
>>41282877Pursue and then be honest with him. I know if my person came to me and was completely honest with me that I would I just make things work but enjoy everything because it's with her.
>>41283241that’s understandable and good advice but the context im in we can’t really even be friends, idk i am purposefully being vague for a reason but it never goes and will never go beyond texting and it hurts so bad. I can’t control my heart and I hate it so much. I just want to be held bro
>>41283341Make the context sbout you and her. Easy. Just do it. Send the text
>>41283282i literally can’tthere’s a wider context that makes it incredibly inappropriate to even attempt and further more would probably make him wildly uncomfortable if he knew the true nature of my feelingsi hate myself so much
>>41283188this is good advice but I can’t cuddle myself. I can only serve myself food even when I want to serve others. I can’t spoil others except myself and people I know. I can’t go to the movies with anyone but myself. I can’t go out to dinner with anyone but myself. i just want someone i can be intimate with
>>41283351>>41283361like I said in the other post, I can’t text him like that. it would be incredibly inappropriate and bad all around. i hate myself for feeling this way i feel awful about it but I can’t stop my heart pining for him. i dont know what to do except cry
>>41282877Story of my life
>>41283361I accept my person in every way and my hands and arms are open to her. All I ask is that she is honest with me.
>>41283361The wider context literally means nothing to you because it is not your truth. Get rid of that shit and choose what your heart chooses. There is no obligations only love. No one's opinion matters, no one else matters but that person to you. So just do it
>>41283188yeah often that hole is a social group and friends and all the things normal people (esp ciswomen) get for free. i tried so desperately hard to make friends at dolls night at the bar and it failed. and it made me lean back on my unrequited love, even though the chance of she loving me back is zero... i was desperately grabbing at the chance of getting that oxytocin and dopamine hit from interacting with her and thinking about her but I realized the dynamic is just really unhealthy and i should pursue other people, especially a ciswoman or a pooner instead.
>>41283462Bro i wish i could say it but i cant, it wont work like that , the truth is so much more pathetic than you could imagine i want to love him but i never will be able to and that is that
shut your underage bitch ass
>>41283500I think it would help for you to feel relief If you would like, you can add me on discord and I will listen to you FromSunToMoon
>>41283510im 21 and never have felt the touch of a man and never have been cuddled or been on a date before ive been on HRT for 6 years and im a pathetic boymoding eunuch loserS++ on the pathetic score
>>41283530kys youngshit straggot>>41283527are you open mindeu?
>>41283527I appreciate the offer but I probably won’t take you up on it…the only thing that would provide relief is him…otherwise I just occupy my time with personal projects and work and helping people where I can, that’s all my life is
>>41283555I hope you feel better. You should know that you're not alone that I did offer. Save my discord so if There is a time that things are just too much and you need someone I'll be there for you
>>41283629i appreciate it, thank you for being a nice person not everyone is nice here
>>41282877body this is not the place to find help for that, I came here with that same problem and literally 0 people supported, even in the lgbt section, they're only gonna kill your threads and bully you
>>41283552people call me a midshit and i guess now I am a youngshit? Idk it’s all confusing im sorry I upset you>>41283736Idk people here have been mostly nice except for one person
>>41282877I felt like this a few months ago, confessed to him because I couldn't take it anymore, against the better advice of people I had come to with the issue, and now we're basically no contact with each other, he was one of my only friends too :D
>>41283758trust me, it's a trap, I sometimes think nobody here is even gay, they just make this place seem like a safe space to gay people, furries and other people who have trouble fitting in on the internet but then they just bully us and suppress anything we say, I learned it the hard way
>>41283804that’s horrible im sorry to hear thatim sad to say if i did the same thing, confess my feelings, in my situation it would have virtually the same outcome…
i just hate it so much…i worry about him all the time, he hasn’t had it easy in this life and he’s such a sweet person with such a good work ethic despite the cards he’s been dealt in life, he just never gives up…he went through something horrible not too long ago and i was a sobbing mess stuck in my bed for almost a week besides working, he didn’t deserve what happened and he was all alone…i just wish i could have been there for him…I wish I could be there for him for the future but he’s alone…i worry about him so much and i don’t even know why I have this affinity towards him, i hate the way my heart has made me feel so much, i hate that im like this, i hate that I have these feelings towards him that would make him repulse against me…i hate that im this sort of person i just wish things could be different
>>41282949I though that every man was gay
>>41283672You're welcome. Even if you just want to be on call and not say a word, just so You don't feel alone I'll do that with you because I can sympathize with what you're feeling.
bump because im sadi am going to eat coffee cake this morning so its not all bad though
>>41286379Take things one step at a time and remember to breathe
>>41283188This is exactly correct and I'm glad you decided to share your wisdom where it could benefit others
>>41283188yes this helps a lot, the people i crush on the hardest its because they represent to me everything missing in myself. why should i expect someone to date me out of pity? why should i want that. its better to just take care of ourselves and apprecciate them as individuals and not as things to be possessed
>>41287187i try my best and for the most part i do a pretty good job of keeping it together but sometimes my heart feels like it’s going to burst and i start crying about itit usually happens at stupid times like when i was making breakfast burrito and i was trying to make it very nice and aesthetically pleasing and i remembered i have no one else to serve it to but myself and ill never ever be able to serve him food or be with him or hold him or cuddle with him and i then i start weeping, i usually pull myself back together but sometimes it just hits too hardi just want him to hold me and tell me everything is ok, that im safe and no one can hurt me, i love his voice so much i cant get enough of it, i just wish i could hold him too and tell him everything will be oki hate my stupid heart
>>41283188I agree, but it's easier said than done when you suffer from severe depression. I feel perpetually empty
>>41282877feeling something similar rn with a classmate. Shes like actually pretty and im a tranny so ik it will never happen but god please please please i wish
they got a name for the winners in the worldi want a name when i losethey call alabama the crimson tidecall me boymoder blues
>>41283188Yeah but it's such fucking bullshit that most people don't need to do thisEveryone in relationships (most people) don't have to love themselves and be healed and and fun and kind to themselves all the timeThe fuck is so wrong with those few of us who do
>>41282877Just have sex with him.He'll never have to know...
>>41282877I want dexter to love me
>>41283530I'll cuddle you and put my dick in you
>>41290437i concur it hurts so bad i try and make myself better every day but i still yearn for him and i don’t think i would be that much happier with just pure self improvement
