And it'd all be a different story if I had no chance at passing. If I was some grotesque masculine ogre I'd just give up and surrender to my fantasies and porn or whatever, but I think I actually could pass and that's the worst part. I got curious after my male friend told me something like "you're not a man or a woman" so I tried a wig and some of my mom's makeup and while I'm not perfect, with HRT and FFS I'm pretty sure I could be pretty, maybe even beautiful.

I've seen more drastic transformations. That's also part of what makes this so frustrating. If I were butt ugly it'd be one thing but my face is pretty average if not above average so the fact that I still can't find anyone willing to be my GF feels even worse. I just don't know anymore...

It's not like I've ever hated being a boy or my maleness inherently but as you can see I'm the type who's willing to go far to achieve my goals. If becoming a woman is the only way to get what I want, it seems like what I have to do, but simultaneously I don't want that, it's not like changing your hair or something. I'm already 19 so if I keep waiting and decide I want to later down the line I'll regret it, I don't know, I just want someone to tell me that I'm attractive the way I am, that a girl would love me without having to change even more of myself, because I feel bad for saying this but I genuinely think I would never feel this way if I had a GF. I hate this.

Oh yeah but I forgot to mention I'm black so I feel even less desirable. It's not like I'm completely hopeless if I don't transition, I still have good future prospects, hopes, and dreams outside of a relationship but I still wanna be loved and I can still do all those things even if I transition to it just feels so confusing to me and I hate it.

>>41287091
alice go get your estrogen already

I was gonna post an unsee of myself but it keeps saying it thinks it's spam so idk how to post it

>>41287131
unsee (dot) cc

You got groomed into thinking you're cis.

>>41287976
Still doesn't work so I just screenshotted the link
>>41288006
What does that mean?

>>41288574
unsee cc/album#73S15R8ghR05

>>41289027
oh forgot to type, cant see much from here but you look kinda cute

>>41289062
So I'm not like super ugly to everyone but me right? I really can't understand why no girl has ever been interested in me, it's not like I'm particularly ugly, and if my personality is as good as my female friends tell me it is then I just really don't know which is why I feel so torn up over this... I fear even if I did try to come out my parents would go ballistic...

>>41287053
im also an incel pipeliner but whatever, i fucking dont care anymore. i just want to have a little bit of happiness and comfort in my body. if everyone thinks im ugly and wishes i was dead then fine. at least in my own twisted way, transitioning was my best attempt out of it. trying to masc up would have only lead to despair and suicide

I'll post it again but I just feel so conflicted, I just wish I didn't pass, if I was so butt ugly I couldn't pass or at least couldn't pass and be as pretty as I'd have wanted to I'd never think about this but I actually feel like I can pass which scares me
unsee cc/album#xkV6vxHZE3VY

File: 1754161932224409.jpg (83 KB, 735x607)

83 KB JPG

>>41287053
Being a girl feels soooo good, you're gonna make for a very happy doll
Just a heads up you're probably gonna like men, the ones like you always do. It's cool though boys are great.

>>41287053
1) as I understand dating if you're having no success actively seeking it out then just don't seek it out and it'll happen eventually, seeking it out may be even counter-productive for some people I think
2) take hrt if the effects of hrt sound like something that you'd want

>>41289240
i can see you somehow passing, even though if youre not satisfied with your face at some point you can just give it the last touches it needs with ffs

oh yeah and if youre going to actually start transitioning better stay off this plataform too, for your own good

>>41287053
i had gone through something similar to you, but instead women actually liked me, yet i wasn’t really attracted to them. some were pretty and some decent looking. i could’ve lost my virginity on five different occasions. some girls thought i was gay because i didn’t want to date them. two girls even asked if they could give me head. i was weirded out and denied them. idk, i watched straight porn and was attracted to women. i think porn just fucked up my confidence and my brain. before i graduated, i became bi-curious. now i admit i’m a fag. currently, i’m an hrt femboy. things are way better now

>>41287053
>>41287091
You're only 19. You'll have plenty of opportunities for love ahead of you. Transitioning will NOT make you more likely to find love -- quite the opposite -- and would be the completely wrong choice if you don't actually suffer from dysphoria. Your appearance isn't the problem so I suggest shifting your focus to your personality. Maybe ask one of your female friends for her genuine thoughts on how you come off to people. But really, you shouldn't be worrying about that. You're still a teenager, focus on school.

I want you to imagine your ideal partner. No matter what it may be.

The image that popped into your mind, was it a guy or a girl? and think about what would make you feel more happy or fulfilled, realistically speaking. can agirl give you what you want?

>>41289509
I appreciate your words and do want to have hope for romance in my future, a part of me still does, but it's just that as a short male with an average/smaller build, it's hard to envision a woman who would fall in love with me. If they admired those traits, they'd likely just be lesbian. Since my face isn't like insanely attractive, maybe just above average if I'm rating myself generously, I just don't see why that combined with the rest of me would be appealing to any girls. Maybe it's the lack of confidence after getting rejected over and over again but it feels like I've genuinely exhausted all my options. I sound like I'm pushing back, but honestly I do thank you, you've helped my thoughts calm down and have allowed me to think more rationally. I don't hate or even dislike myself at all, I just thought maybe transitioning would make other people like me more.

>>41289545
My ideal partner is a girl, but I think part of the reason the idea of transitioning has permeated so much in my brain is because I feel like if I did I would like guys and would be able to be super affectionate and give all my love to them. I've always wanted to be a super affectionate partner, barraging them with kisses and hugs, stroking their hair and their face, etc. The only relationship I had was with a girl who broke up with me after a year after admitting she never really had feelings for me and was just lonely. She later started crushing hard on another girl, despite said girl not doing nearly as much for her as I did. I couldn't understand why, and for the record, that girl wouldn't let me express my love like that, so I guess I fear that if I'm with a girl, she'll push away from my displays of affection, but if I were to be with a guy, he wouldn't and I could be as affectionate with him as I want. I feel this way because I'm a guy and I'd like to have a girlfriend equally as affectionate as me as my ideal.

>>41289643
I think that your ideal partner is a guy. a strong, masculine guy to complement your feminine essence. Someone who you can adore and love just as much as they'd adore you and love you. someone who would tend to your sensitive needs the same way you'd make sure to keep them happy and fulfilled. does that line up with what u want?

why are we encouraging people to think about their gender in terms of what partner you want

like im bisexual, i think im more attracted to girls overall, does that mean i should masc up and give up on being feminine because girls dont like that? how is that going to help me be happy? your gender is related to but seperate to your sexuality

>>41289602
There are plenty of short women in the world, and even taller women who have no problem dating a short guy. Personality is what matters most to women. You seem to be a thoughtful person so I think it's just a matter of waiting for the right person to come along. Don't give up.

>>41289705
I mean, the description is fine but I don't see why that person has to be a guy, unless you're saying that women inherently can't reciprocate strong love and adoration. What exactly makes for a feminine essence anyway?
>>41289714
Again, I appreciate your words, but there's a difference between being short and SHORT. Like, I'm around the average woman's height, so I can't even be taller than most women, which is often what I hear they have as their criteria, not that they need 6ft, but just to be taller than them. I'm not like 5'7, 5'6, or even 5'5, I'm 5'3. I used to have a bigger complex about my height, but honestly it's not my height itself that bothers me, it's how people perceive it and what it means for me. I won’t deny that it'd be possible for me to get a partner, I'd certainly hope so, but it just feels so unlikely to where if I were able to pass as a moderately attractive women I'd be able to do well. Hell I have male friends who have already made it clear they'd be fine with dating a trans woman, so if I were to transition I'd basically have a guaranteed boyfriend. These feelings are just so confusing, I wish I could like, make a save state or something instead of having to commit...

>>41289714
holy bluepill cope i hope this is bait

>>41287053
the only legitimate answer to the question of 'should i transition' can be found if you divorce it entirely from the idea of finding a partner

>>41289777
You hit the nail on the head. Women give love in a different way to men. and the kind of love that you seem to want is not the kind of love a woman will give you. My love is passionate and deep and intimate. I want to adore and cherish and love my partner in ways that would make them feel so happy and fulfilled.

>>41289906
also, if it isnt already obvious, im interested in u. the things youve spoken about in terms of what you want to give to a partner and what you want from a partner, those align pretty closely with my own ideals.

>>41289852
Well when you put it like that... I guess I shouldn't. It's not like I'm a complete depressed incel loser loner NEET. I still have friends, stuff I have to look forward to, passions and hobbies, goals I work towards, and good future prospects all around. If it weren't for my distress in being loveless, I never would have considered it. The only thing is, it's not like all those things I listed would go away if I transitioned, which is what's making me conflicted. I can still have those friends, goals, hobbies, and do what I usually do everyday, but my life would seemingly only be improved and I'd be way more likely to get a partner. Since it'd be a net positive, I feel like it'd be a waste not too, especially since I'd probably be able to pass with a little effort. Maybe you're right overall though and it's still a bad idea... I just don't know. Honestly if my parents were more liberal and open minded, I'd probably have just done it. They're not MAGAtards or anything, far from it, but they're still not fully on board with LGBT stuff. Knowing it would take convincing and they'd probably try to put me in therapy or convince me not to is another thing that makes me hesitant.

I think I've realized part of why this is so conflicting, it feels like a waste. It feels like a waste to just be a mediocre man and live my entire life like that if I could be an attractive woman. Again, I'd never have had these thoughts if I didn't think I could pass, but my face is small and kind of... blank, I guess? Having seen other transition timelines from men who looked way more ugly and masculine than me to genuinely beautiful women, it feels more than doable for me to be able to become an attractive woman if I transitioned. It'd be a different story if I were ugly and would be a gigahon or something, but seeing testimonials from trans women about how their lives changed after going from a mediocre invisible male to a stunning woman, it just feels like a no brainer to me, like all I've done in my life has been to become more attractive, and this is simply the next step. I also hate the fact that as a man, and especially as a black man, I'm perceived as a threat just for existing. Girls think that anytime I interact with them unprompted it's purely to get into their pants and I hate that. I feel like if I were to present as female, they wouldn't have their guard up like that and I'd be able to make more friends and have more casual conversations. Though to be clear, I don't hate being male inherently, I hate what it means in this society, I hate what it means to be perceived as male, as a danger, when I've never wanted to hurt another person in my entire life.

>>41287053
im a pipeliner but i had at least some degree of dysphoria beforehand. did basically everything you described and looksmaxxed the shit out of myself but I'm 5'5" so yeah never really worked and maybe my repressed dysphoria stopped me putting my full heart into it

dunno if you're the slightest bit interested in men but I was bi before transitioning and now im only into guys so take of that what you will

best way to look at it if you decide to go through is as a form of self-improvement, and if you do that you'll be way more likely to be motivated to put effort into transition but based on what you've said you shouldn't have much issue with that

you can pretty easily access hormones diy so you shouldn't have much issue unless you're american cause I know there's more customs and shit now but it should still be fine?

anyway if you're down to do it then go all out, boymode until you've voice trained enough to voicepass and get ffs if you end up needing it, but like, personally, I thought looksmaxxing was the method until I just hopped on e and now i know I should've just done it earlier

is OP still here? I want to talk to them. they seem like a really interesting person.

>>41289913
Interested in me... how exactly?

>>41290594
I'm here, you can ask anything, I'll answer as best as I can.

>>41290594
same i was thinking on adding them somewhere else to chat

>>41290644
>>41290617
I'm the same guy, I just thought you stopped responding to the thread lol.

Well if I had to describe it, you wrote ur stuff very seriosuly and youve clearly given it a lot of thought. that's more than most. You sound thoughtful and loyal and i kinda respect how hard youve worked on yourself. i aim interested in u and i do wanna get to know you. id be lying if i said there isnt a part of me that finds it cute that youre smaller and more feminine, because its very opposite to myself being larger and more muscular / masculine. so i do wanna get to know u at ur own pace or whatnot. I feel like we'd click well.

>>41290239
Thanks for the testimonial nona. As you said I'm the type of person willing to do anything to achieve my goals, not in the evil villain way of course lol but just being driven and motivated. I worked so hard and changed so much about myself, stepped out of my comfort zone so much to try to get to the point where I could attract a girl but no dice, and I never once thought about actually becoming one until recently. I'm definitely disciplined enough to voice train if I were to go through with it and make sure I look the best I possibly can, I mean I literally did skincare, and still do today, most males wouldn't touch that shit with a 10 foot pole. Honestly if I could just like, pause my body's development and stop my hip bones from fully fusing, I'd probably just do that, live through college and graduate school and see if anyone is interested in me, and if not I'd just go for it. Semi related but I did just remember a time where my mom was talking about how my body was so slender compared to my brothers and her own body and she told me I should become a girl and laughed as she touched my stomach. She was almost certainly just playing around considering that while she's accepting of other LGBT people, she's made it clear that she doesn't want it in her household, but maybe it counts for something? Honestly not sure why I shared that, just felt appropriate I guess.

>>41290680
I don't know if I'm ready for a full commitment or anything but I guess it'd be okay to talk more. I have a discord but I'd rather send the request so if you’re interested in talking to me more or whatever you can reply with it and I'll add you, my discord name starts with m and ends with k. Goes for you too
>>41290644

>>41290722
robot.from.wall_e

of course. i just wanna get to know you more, no pressure.

>>41290680
no no im >>41289027
>>41289062
>>41290680

>>41289275
Fucking based. I also ended up liking men in the end.

>>41290758
the last was a missclick

>>41290722
chastity5061
ill respond when i get back from my work

>>41287053
You're not trans you have no dysphoria youre just desperate for love which you will eventually find without doing something as drastic as this. Plus in all likelihood you would end up attracting guys once you transition not girls
Just be patient and love will find you. If you stop searching you might stumble upon it when you least expect it
Also dont let any anons in this thread groom you i cant stress enough that it's likely a very bad idea to maintain contact with anyone you met from a thread like this

>>41291125
the reason im trying to contact is to know more about them, i honestly wouldnt recommend transitioning to no one since your life just becomes worse, specially if finding love is their objective, adding this dead weight to your problems isnt a good idea

>>41291125
oh yeah, i already said this to someone on the same situation on another thread, transitioning will just fuck up your dating pool