the very concept of being gay makes me really depressed. After a lot of time on dating apps, it really sometimes feels like I'm the only gay dude in the world who wants sickly sweet romance. Dinner dates, movie nights and cuddles under the stars. Every other dude just wants to hold my head down and fuck me until i cant walk anymore. It's kinda made the entire concept of sex icky for me. None of it holds any meaning anymore. Just and endless sea of no strings attached sex... how can you guys enjoy this?It feels so weird seemingly being in the minority here, since what i want is what is considered "normal" in straight relationships, as far as I'm aware, at leastdoes anyone else feel this way? or am i just whining? (both are possible)
>>41384872>since what i want is what is considered "normal" in straight relationships, as far as I'm awareNah they're playing the same games with cis/trans women... Fwb no date just come over
>>41384998dang, really? i assumed this was a gay-only thing. Since most gay folks are so open about it. Do women just hide it more? theres got to be more of a process to it. from my experience, you can get a dude to fuck you within like, 5 messages if you're on a spot like grindr
>>41384872Had a couple of dates like this. Realised it was rotting my soul. Desisted the behaviour. Now only tolerate love and romance. No apps. Take the loneliness and let something bloom. It feels like it never will bit it will.
>>41384872>how can you guys enjoy this? I don't understand how people are like this eitherit's made sex icky but also just the idea of calling myself a gay man. before I dated I thought the gay slut thing was a homophobic meme but at this point I'm probably more convinced of it than any homophobe. I tend to see it more in bottoms but maybe I'm biased as a top. the entire idea of top and bottom labels is so sex focused too. I would probably bottom for someone I trust in a long term relationship but that requires a long term relationshiptldr fuck this chud world
>>41384872It's rough for hetero people too.Pro-tip;Women aren't romantic.Women aren't empathetic.Women WANT romance and empathy.They espouse it as what they are but really it's what they demand of a suitor.Then, you know, despite giving them these things, they just take a few free dinners home and reroll for the next empathetic and romantic schmuck.In the case of homosexuals, replace the dinner concept with anal sex.
>>41385015it feels impossible to meet people without the apps nowadays, though. Especially good gay dudes Any tips?>>41385023ironically i think the most homophobic people you can find are other gay dudes. its a dog eat dog world out there>>41385026i honestly wish i could be another dude's free lunch, if only so i could connect to another person beyond sex. even if its just a little bit. even if its just surface level
>>41385030>it feels impossible to meet people without the apps nowadays, though. Especially good gay dudes Any tips?You gotta get involved in some stuff and go outside. Getting involved in music or sports or like communal nerd shit like D&D or MtG or Smash. Any like hobbies and activities that have you just connecting with a lot of people platonically over a shared interest. I do music. I've fucked so many musicians. Usually the band dudes fuck the fans, standard practice. But if you're gay you are just surrounded by men on tour. Hot ones. Cool ones. Interesting ones. Anyway that's where I found my best long term relationships and my current partner.
>>41385054The hard part is im a little autistic, and i often struggle to figure out if someone else is a dickliker. Unless they're the super fruity type, which arent exactly my thing in the first place
>>41385061If you do certain kinds of music, or nerd stuff, you'll find that literally most of the people around you are gonna be autistic too. The nerd hobbies, people will just advertise it openly, those spaces are so queer these days it's crazy. Music, on the artist side idk it's different, the time investment is crazy if you want to get into that life. On the fan side though. It's the same nerd hobby kinda thing, the time investment is literally just listening to records, engaging in communities and going to shows. Its kinda even easier than the nerd hobbies. Just forget about dating prospects. Have fun. Expand your life a bit. And you'll meet people you never thought you'd meet. Its so much better than apps.
>>41385006men just want a hole to fuck, gay or straight
>>41385103i dont, though...the thought of sex in general has been totally ruined for me
>>41385108I'm afraid to even think about dating because I know sex will be expected quickly (and I'll be expected to initiate and just magically know that the other person wants sex)
>>41385006hookup culture becoming not just the norm but the expectation is a relatively recent thing that only happened over the last ~20 years.
>>41385118you should be up front about that, then. hey, you could even say you're asexual. say its a trauma thing if they really push on it. sex isnt required for a functional relationship. but trust is
>>41385118Do a hobby that involves irl shit, join discord related to hobby, scope out how lib the vibes are) then unironically just put pronouns, gay, and ace in your bio. Watch the romantic asexual homos roll in. Sounds woke and lib and lame but unironically that's the fastest route to your desired outcome.
>>41385131I get that ideally communication is great I just don't feel like I should be expected to have sex with someone the first or second or third time I meet them. and I know I don't have to hit the societal expectation is there>>41385136I've never thought to call myself ace, it's not that I don't want sex it's just that it takes a lot of trust for me
>>41385146>I've never thought to call myself ace, it's not that I don't want sex it's just that it takes a lot of trust for meThe libs have that one covered. It's a spectrum. Call yourself grey ace if you want. Or demisexual. Those labels come across as overcategorsation to those they don't apply to. But they do serve a function.
>>41385154i would reccomend against this, personallysome people might write you off as "one of *those* guys" if you get into the weird overcategorsation stuff. Like, you'll be seen as a die hard twitter user is what im trying to say. only do this if you're comfortable with such an imageotherwise, just say you're ace. if you get far enough in a relationship to where sex is something you're comfortable with, then open up to your partner about how you're actually just very iffy on sex. if its someone you trust, and they trust you, then theres not a scenario where they like, flip out on you.
>>41385166Not gonna argue with that. I'd hate to advertise myself in a way that would only attract activist minded people who'd eat me alive for an accidental microaggression
>>41385189that is absolutely a possibility. thats why i believe you should stay as honest to yourself as you can, even if the concept of asexuality isnt 100% the truth.
>>41385198I'm not op btw was just advice anon giving op advice
>>41385206i knowbecause i was OP the whole timemuahahahah
>>41385208Oh no!!
>>41385119i feel like its more recent than 20 years. been out of dating for a bit, but its felt more like a 10 year thing. the "smartphone age" brought it in, and that didn't really become a thing till the mid 2010s.
>>41384998At least they lie to them first
>>41385385am i foolish for preferring the idea of being lied to?
>>41384872This, I just need a guy to cuddle and go for long walks by the beach with and fall gently asleep with after (and sometimes fuck)
>>41385015You can use dating apps without being a slut or hooking up. Why are men so fucking retarded. You just put what your looking for and do not fuck someone until a few dates have gone by. It just requires an ounce of willpower to not ask Tyrone to come over and breed your sissy hole "2nite."
>>41385054You're literally just bragging about having lots of meaningless casual sex just not on an app. The guy wants romance and commitment and you're totally oblivious. Have you ever had a comitted monogamous relationship with another man?
>>41385108.if you don't have an open mind and stay confident and happy being by yourself you aren't going to be able to find a relationship. You have to work on yourself, accept what comes your way and be grateful for it.And something I notice here is that the problem is not other people having sex the problem is your insecure anxious attachment style around sex and going into relationships with the fear of being "used" that just makes people less willing to stay with you.
>>41385154Calling yourself a demi gray asexual is not the path to any kind of satisfying relationship it just filters literally anyone who functions normally and selects for fat autistic insecure furries.
>>41385485I think it's like when someone is so lonely the idea of a stalker sounds better than nothing
>>41384872>men act like menWOOOOW
Yeah dude i get you I hit 30 and became a volcel, faggotry is depraved unfortunately and i've had my fill for a lifetime, its all so meaningless. I guess even the straights have it rough now.
>>41384872you need to realize homo x straightie pairing is where it's at. Lem Billings maxing.
>>41384872The more you get to know them, the easier it is to hate them.
>>41384872Are you sure you're gay and not mtf? Men see through all the artifice and realize sex is just like taking a shit, the less ceremony the better off everyone is
>>41385800i feel like you've never used a dating app for gay relationships. 99.99% of people are after instant sex. you really just CANT find people not looking for that
>>41386234stay back, forcefemmer. Let me be a twink in peace
>>41384872i want a sickly sweet romance too im just a bi man with tits but you can top me and we can cherish each other
>>41387448i feel like you missed the point...
>>41384872I get you man. There's no way for guys like us to even meet. The cumsluts have grindr while we have hitting on guys irl.
>>41391088a tactic with a very low success rate. you know the pain
>>41391088the only place I can imagine hitting on a guy irl is a bar and they're full of sluts
