Hope edition>QOTT: what's keeping you alive right now? Any bright spots? Anything you're looking forward to?Last thread: >>41354864
I'm looking forward to a future where it's ok to be a feminine man without taking estrogen.
I'm tired.
>>41413914finally the thread is backI WANT TO DIE
>>41413914Thanks for makin the thread anon! I was too lazy.
>it’s okay to be a feminine manI’m not even feminine though I just have long hair
>>41413914qott im taking ssri which feel like is helping but too early to tell for sure. am in therapy. the only thing keeping me going is hope that things will be better. im trying to feel mentally well enough to start going out and making friends and hopefully slowly get better
like this is just not a good situation. transition really isn't very good. trans people don't really pass and i'd never be cis. being a man isn't easy either. i don't like it. i can force being masculine but it feels bad. being a man doesn't feel right. theres no really good choice, but I prefer to fight the demons in my head
nothing. i have absolutely no hope for the future.
>>41413914I have no hope for the future. Everything interesting is getting further away in time, everyone I care about or admire is only getting older, and the planet's getting shittier due to forces out of the average person's control. I only exist for pleasure in the short term.I'm only alive because I don't believe in an afterlife; if I did, suicide would at least make some logical sense as your pain in this life would give way to catharsis in the next, but as it stands, there's nothing to gain from killing yourself if everything just goes blank.Hi to these obvious lurkers on /mu/.
>>41414023>I’m not even femininethen don't transitioneverproblem solved
>>41413914>QOTTI don't know, I think I'll get a job, just because life as a NEET has become too boring, otherwise I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm depressed and the only thing that gave me happiness was agp. Now that I'm a 6'0 old man, all I can do is wait for death.
>>41413914QOTT: Too afraid to die and too unmotivated to live. Distracting myself with escapism and hoping to finally find a cope that makes life worth living.
i am so alone and unhappy
>>41413914QOTT: I personally never planned living past 18 as a kid and since then I've just kind of persisted onwards with all the consequences. I tell myself I stay alive because I don't want to make my family sad despite them not being the best people, though I often feel more numb and detached than in constant mental pain these days. A strategy I've adopted over the years has been to find something dumb to look forward to in the future, like a show or movie, and tell myself to hold out until then so I can experience that at least. Just a constant string of looking for hollow things to hold out for.Today I lobbed all my hair off, I'd wanted long hair since I was a kid but was never allowed to have it. Once I was an adult and could do what I wanted, I still held out to avoid social pressure and comments from family about it. A couple years ago I finally said screw it and decided to try growing it out in spite of the remarks only to be met with the norwood reaper. After over a year of treatment and still losing hair... yeah long hair just looks shit on me and makes me think more about what I can't have than any enjoyment from having it. Life seems... insistent on making me only want things I can never have.
Anyone think if they had a bigger dick and/or weren't raised by their mom + internet they'd maybe be a cis guy
>>41417356I used to latch onto the dick thing to cope but I was 7" and girthy kek
>>41417356mine is pretty large, which I dislike because it's gross and I have no desire to put it to use so the size just makes it harder to ignore.I was actually raised well too with a great dad too, which just makes me feel guilty for not turning into the son he deserved.
I wonder if I'd be trans if my single mother didn't beat me for being male, unlike my three sisters
>>41417703Is it weird that I don't mind mine? It's kinda average slightly below average. Maybe I'm not really trans
I think I'm just an autistic man but why do I still want to try transitioning, I can't relate to men nor women so why even transition if I know it's just the autism that's making it difficult to relate to people, what if I'm painting all my mental health issues with the gender dysphoria brush.Idk. I think I should just let the time pass until I miss my chance at passing and just continue being a miserable, numb man who copes with porn.
it' so humiliating being a submissive male. i feel like other males can immediately sense that you're not a man like they are
>>41419683but you love it
>>41419683We can and it's revolting
>finding out that you're a tranny>at 24This is karma for posting 41% memes in my chud teenage years. Repping is my only choice now. This is my punishment.
>>41413923whats so bad about taking estrogen?
>>41420424you aren't trans, it's just a fetish
"Troon out, and you will regret it; don’t troon out, you will also regret it; troon out or don’t troon out, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s gigahons, you will regret it; feel bad for them, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s gigahons or feel bad for them, you will regret both. Believe a pinkpiller, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all trannylosophy."-Søren Reppergaard
>>41413950There is no girlNever was
>>41420905it enables the matriarchy by denying men sexual agency and autonomy
>>41421342And other copes we tell ourselves.
>>41421429NopeIt’s no longer a copeI used to think it existedI was wrong
>>41413914take your HRT, retards
>>41421566It gives me reverse dysphoria
its ok to cumits ok to get hardits ok to feel hornyyou don't need to chemically suppress who you are
Unless you're gincel, in which case you need to be severely medicated and fuck off.
>>41413914stop fapping start living, retards
>>41421566I think I will order some soon but I'll just be a hrt repper again which is ultimately pointless
>>41414837>Hi to these obvious lurkers on /mu/.Hello.
Should I try and date a cis woman to see if that will fix me and if I am ok in normal relationship?
>>41422728No.
>>41422745Gonna do it
>>41421342anima-chan is very real
>>41421401>agency and autonomysuch as the bodily autonomy to take estrogen?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FN2X5JwMdEE
thing is im not even a tranny. i just have mental issue that makes me wish i was a woman. but i am not comfortable transitioning. I tried it, and was not comfortable transitioning and not comfortable thinking of myself as a woman and would not have passed, and at the end I wanted to be a man again. And also I am only interested in a cishet relationship and almost only interested in women and Im pretty cute as a guy even though im short. i just have mental issue
>>41422728Sounds like self imposed torture.
>>41423355That's repping for you. Finding the most tolerable tortures.
>>41421566Fell for the manmoder meme and tried that. All it did was give me conetits on my obviously male frame, not even better skin because I'm covered in acne scars.
>>41423423>conetitsUnrelated but how tf has nobody figured out how to grow decent tits yet? 90% of trannies have conetits or A cups at most. Is this actually just a "did HRT too late" thing or are just most hormonal replacement methods just horribly ineffective? Considering breast size drastically changes on cis women all the time depending on their hormonal levels, I feel like this should be easy to fix, unlike bones or height.
>>41423573If you believe Will Powers it's because trannies overdose themselves on too much estrogen early on and stunt growth at the beginning stages. But we don't really know, just luck of the draw at the end of the day.
>>41423355It may be torture but it also may be very nice and make me forget all about trans thoughts
>>41422728i've repeatedly found being in relationships less tolerable overall than being lonely
>>41424348I've always wanted to be friends with women the same way women are friends with each other, but I can't because I'm a man. I am friends with lots of women but its not the same. but at least I may be able to have a close romantic relationship and that could makeup for the fact that I couldn't have friendships earlier.
just went outside and actually paid some attention to my surroundings for the first time in a long ass time, immediately regretted it.passing by actual cis women on the street made me realize there's no amount of hormones, surgeries, clothing, makeup or anything else that can make a man become a woman or vice versa, at least during this century. we're stuck with what we're given at birth, and that's the end of that, all else is pure cope. i felt like a wolf walking around sheep, imagining i was one of them. no matter how much i could try to hide my true nature, we're quite literally built different. even if the sheep pretended to care and accept me, they'd be doing it out of fear i cause trouble to them, and they'd be relieved the second i'm gone.obviously this doesn't mean i'm gonna start chudding out and hate every single tranny in existence, but it kind of opens your eyes to how much of the concept of transness itself is built on a false premise.transgender = across genderquite literally impossible. men can't become women. you can be a man who takes the social role of a woman, but you'll still forever be male. maybe there's an exception to be made with intersex trannies, but idk.you can't claim "trans women are real women", when they're only socially so. they're half-women at best, is what i'm trying to say.idk maybe i'm just bitteri wonder how long the movement will last, actually. is the right-wing anti-troon push worldwide just a phase or are we in for the long haul?
>>41425182what is the social role of a woman?
>>41425224basically doing most of what society deems "female", essentially playing the "part" of the woman, as other people that participate in the same society as you understand a woman to be, and what one acts like. so dressing in women's clothing, caring about your appearance, making friends with other women, dating men, wanting to be referred to as a woman, etc.obviously not every woman will adhere to this, but 99% of them do for a good part, it's basically how we groom them into acting from birth. men are expected to not cry and be tough, so we train sensitive boys so they act more "male". girls are expected to be sensitive and demure, so we tell them any anger they have is to be hidden and bottled up, in hopes they fit in with the rest of the other girls.it's a mask by which others understand our place in the great machine, an id number that becomes part of our identity.
>>41413914Why the fucking hell every rep gen picture need to be so fucking stupid retarded and unnoticeable?
>>41413914>what's keeping you alive right now?Agent Smith Moment Pure luck because I live in a very dangerous place Feel's like universe don't know what to do with me but don't want me to die
Apparently I'm pretty hot
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
I STILL WANT TO BE A HOT ANIME GIRL
>>41428211I MISSED YOUalso same
4 years on and off taking hrt and i look in the miror and i look completely like an ugly man with no femininity at all, i removed most of my facial hair but i dont have the clean blemish free skin of a woman so it makes no difference. you can still see the pigmentation where the hair is supposed to be.im really just horrified at how i threw my life away chasing something that if i was really honest was never going to be possible for me, i cant even act feminine, in public i default to acting like an awkward, effete man. i dont know what to do now, not look at myself ever again? try and man up? i dont see how im going to not kill myself now. it feels like this is it and i locked it in for good and now its just a matter of time.
>>41425182and yeah i live in a place where there are many attractive women, you go outside and you see them and they have perfect facial features and compared to them i look like a diseased zombie. im so jaded, some people can be trans and some people just have to accept they are monsters.
I just wish I looked like a woman. I don't have some deeper inner woman inside me. I have the mind of a man. I don't even get any sexual gratification from the thought of it. I just want to look like a woman and i'd be a lot happier if I did.
Reppergaard classic
Does repgen believe in female social privilege?
>>41429263Who's asking? -_-
>>41429263Yeah, but I'm not sure it isn't a grass is greener situation because the misogynistic stuff I hear is far-fetched sometimes even if I agree with it I know women have priority in hiring, though because every job lists a preference.
I would totally have friends if I was a woman... There are no lonely women... >didn't speak to anyone the years I was trans, even online, and realistically was an average looking twinkhon like most trannies in selfies Oh
When I think about again as a man I'm not too scared, I see older men, they have cool raspy voices, interesting face wrinkles etc. thinking of norman reedus, mads, Elliott smith, Patrick gill, few men from my work.But they all seem to have their shit together, or some identity. I don't. I'm not into anything, I'm not passionate about anything.And even though I don't think I'd be scared to age as a man I still think about transitioning, thinking it might cure my depression, my numbness, give me some clarity. But I'm probably just dumb.Plus I feel happy when I look feminine, but when I look like a man, when I notice my wrinkles on my forehead I just feel as numb as usual. Maybe I'm scared of aging.Idk, I also stupidly told my roommates years ago to use she/her and I always feel like shit when I don't live up to the expectation of what a woman is. When I don't shave, or shower. Or make myself look fem. But would that go away if I just never asked people online or irl to use she/her when I'm basically a "hon", no hrt, nothing. I don't ask people from my work or people in public to use she/her. I dress and present as a dude.Idk, might try hrt again but higher dose.Maybe I'm just a dumbass
>>41429263Not being drafted number 1 privilege
>>41428507There's makeup tricks to cover up the blue shade where the facial hair was.And women are not all blemish free, a lot of it is again a lot of skincare + makeup
>>41429191Mood
>>41429263No I think both men and women get different problems and benefits it's difficult or not possible to say which is better its more about how well each individual person fits into their societal expected role. Historically men were privileged.
I think being on hrt for 2 years altered my sexuality. It's been over a year off but I'm not really attracted to anyone very much unless I form a deep emotional bond with them
>tfw so committed to hijabsissy stuff that just remembered i used to self insert in stoning vids
>>41429263not really. some things are better for women and some things are better for men
being a man is greatSeeing your beard growing is cool Having a chest is cool I don't care if anyone likes me. I'm satisfied with myself and that's all that matters.
>>41431878I really hope you aren't lying to yourself. You deserve to be happy
>>41432111I’m not lying, but I’m not overestimating my feelings either. I know it’s just a temporary state. Just be honest with yourself. When I’m dysphoric, I’m being honest with myself, and when I’m not, I guess I should be too.
i love not days like today where i'm totally unable to stop crying. real functional man right here
