>>41441376
wait this might be about me drrop the discord

>>41441376
You’re kinda dumb but a lot of people are scared of being alone and not having that stability so I don’t blame you I guess anyway try not to kill yourself or become addicted to drugs because you’re so scared to do anything

>>41441384
obvious, and admittedly funny, troll, but what's your cat's name

>>41441473
Thanks for the concern anon. I'm pretty stable and never do drugs, not even caffeine lmao.
I would be fine, just very lonely.

This is probably just a coincidence but I am an S and I did delete my account the same day as my last conversation with someone, so it would've vanished exactly two weeks later.
I felt bad in my last conversation with them for obvious reasons, but i couldn't find the courage to comment on it as they were in a good mood so I simply vanished.
This was back in march/april to clarify.

>>41441376
I could talk about the time I was a mistress, the time I nursed my ex through a breakdown for years, the time I drove my situationship to another city as they cried about a cis girl rejecting them or the many, many times I had a potential partner go cold when they found out I'm trans but honestly I'm just so tired and burnt out on love I struggle to care about it anymore.

Im leaving the country in three months. I've lied and said that I'm moving to hang out with friends but the people in the new country are acquaintances at best. I'm just so tired of being the "cool friend" and im tired of working my butt off only to perpetually stuck scratching a living together because this world isnt designed for single people.

Maybe I just wont start by job and go drive into the desert idk

>>41442316
Are you in the upper midwest?

>>41442627
No, Europe

>>41442316
Europe as well, but coincidence indeed. My S. vanished in late September, and if you were her, you'd know based on the thread for sure. Just sucked to worry for her safety or get this creeping feeling of having been ghosted, and then eventually be hit with the deleted account.
We were fairly affectionate for a few months, but she started feeling pretty unstable, and yeah, I figure I may not have been gentle enough while she was already hating on herself.
I guess that's a common feeling, to not wanna break the news like that. I don't know what that contact was like, if it was romantic, casual, etc. Maybe you can leave them a message next time anon, even if it's by sneakily editing a message so it doesn't send a ping or something.

>>41442458
you sound jaded anon. sucks you're dealing with that. sounds like you have a good amount of contacts but not with the most depth necessarily.
I haven't dated that much, so maybe I'm just being a bit tone deaf and complaining. had a cis gf, this was my first trans "situationship" that I would have preferred to become something long term. just pretty socially reserved, so I don't naturally meet people often. I would get jaded for sure with a bunch of superficial friendships. maybe you do need a break

>>41441376
im a detranny but i miss my ex. they are so much better off without me though which is its own weird kind of feeling because while i miss them so much i also feel glad they've moved on to better things and would never do anything to try and disrupt their new positive direction.

i traded my addiction to them for a cigarette addiction and i think it's working even if it kills me a little bit at a time. i have good genetics for it at least (multiple relatives who smoked into old age without developing lung cancer)

>>41443656
still careful with the smoking fren<3 : p

>>41441376
Trannies don't have hearts to break

Dated a doll I would have married. Personality was perfect. We had the same interests and could hang together for hours doing the same thing. I would have married her. Invited her to my graduation and she was in the photos. Met my family. But alas she ended the relationship because doing anal was too uncomfortable for her and she was looking for a guy that’s more average size rather than large. Felt like a really dumb reason but sex is very important I guess. It was such a heartbreak and I don’t know when I’ll get over it. It’s such a pity because good sex is way easier to find than love compatibility. Did lots of other kinky stuff with her but the anal was a deal breaker for her. I hope she changes her mind one day and gets back in touch with me. But I’m just moving on. Not doing a great job of it.

I'm a bi cis male. Gym twunk, certified autist. I fell in love with a trans girl who said she was "mostly straight" but she had a strong bi-cycle. I knew I couldn't scratch that itch for her so I said it was fine if she met/hooked up with girls rather than pine for them eternally and start feeling bitter about it. Things were amazing with her though, she was so sweet to me, I introduced her to my family and she did the same for me. It felt like a fairytale romance story. Also the sex was incredible and she was willing to do basically anything I wanted, which was mostly just wearing stockings because that's my fetish.

After a couple years together things got hard for us when I lost my job. She got distant. She started spending a lot of time online at night. She abruptly broke up with me soon after this, apparently she met some transbians in VRChat that made her "realize" she was actually just gay and that her entire relationship with me was just comphet. Whenever I asked her to explain more about it she just shut down and couldn't talk so I have zero closure.

After we broke up she joined their polycule. She fell madly in love with one of them and talked to me about it constantly, then 6 months later the girl dumped her and now my ex is stuck living with and dating the fat third wheel in their polycule who refuses to get a job and makes her pay all the rent.

I still think about her when I'm going to sleep every night.

>>41443996
thanks friend it's nice to have you to talk to. listening to this today it's quite pretty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iEGmvasuRQ

>>41444444

my ex girlfriend has taken over my life and my thoughts ever since we met 5 years ago. we were on again, off again in the most hellish way. i keep swearing i'm finally done for good, but if she asked for me back i don't know if i'd have it in me to say no. being with her wasn't easy but being without her is like missing a piece of my soul.
every day i think of you. every day i wish you would call. i love you, t, always forever.

It's been 3 and a half months since he suddenly stopped contacting me and I feel like I know why since he was telling me about a lot of life instability and change right beforehand
But it's hard to not feel like I did something wrong and I thought he was gonna be in my life for the longhaul, we synced up so well on so many things and genuinely cared about each other. I thought we'd built up enough of a thing, whatever you'd call it. Maybe it's my fault for not defining it or being forward enough, but I was doing as much as I could. I can't call it heartbreak but I just miss him a lot still and I wish all the things we talked about had a chance to happen like we wanted, and I hope he's doing well.

>>41443656
smoking is a strain financially too, consider other distractions anon, but all the best either way <3

>>41445949
it's worth the feeling it gives me where everything shines and i can almost hear God telling me how things are gonna be alright and everything is for a purpose.

>>41446291
little known fact, but when you smoke cigarettes you can hear your guiding spirits whispering in your ear. the native americans realized this and that's why they used tobacco for religious rituals and peace meetings.

>>41446806
i was thinking about this the other day actually

i told my therapist i started smoking cigarettes kind of ritualistically (only in specific situations and always in the same spot or kind of spot) and he said it was fine and some cultures use tobacco for religious reasons and as long as i don't use it as a thing to hate myself about it's fine.

was kind of validating to hear that and realize my experience with it isn't unique. most people i know it's just a thing they do for good feels or something. not that that's a lesser reason to do it. but the fact that i almost have the same kind of experience weed smokers have for a little bit seems less weird having it put into context like that. now i need to go shower my right hand smells like an ashtray

>>41446931
yeah haters will say schizo but smoking has a very long history as a religious ritual and i don't think that's for no reason

ironically i started smoking because of my tranny ex,

>>41447115
based you're probably pretty cool to have such a perspective

>>41447123
same friend. i will never forget that day we first hung out and went hiking. and when we got back to their car we had a smoke and i knew i was falling

>>41441376
I am the tranny, this is from a couple of years ago
>Know boy online for 5+ years
>He knows I'm trans but doesn't care
>We're very flirty for years, but never pursue it due to our lives being busy
>Finally after so many years we're both single and decide we should start dating
>We date online for months
>Eventually we meet in person
>We cuddle and kiss and I suck his dick every day
>Things are going great
>One day I get out of the shower and he sees me naked
>I thought it would be something nice and cute and he would be happy to see me and be all, I need to take you right here and now
>It's the total opposite, he's horrified
>I panic and put clothes on
>After he's super distant from me and doesn't really want to talk or look at me
>I ask him if seeing me naked changed how he felt about me
>He apologizes and admits it was too much for him and that he's not as open minded as he thought
He went home early and I've been crying about for the last couple of years. I haven't been with someone since and I'm terrified for anyone to see me naked.

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She was a Japanese woman from Brazil. We played league of legends together and watched anime together. She was supporting me and she was a great support, expert level. She was a diamond level support and I was a mediocre gold level ADC that played the game on and off over years, and she was coaching me on how to be better. She was the best Janna player I've ever seen. We shared Spotify music with each other and she likes Porter Robinson. She was 5'3, very petite and slender, had milky pale skin and cascading black hair, and glasses. Was extremely beautiful, most beautiful woman I've ever seen. If I got a second chance, I would just marry her. She had absolutely no flaws and was effortlessly pretty. I miss her, but I have no way to find her.

I miss you, Y.

>>41447230
real. would smoke with you

>>41444638
sorry i just saw this hope you stay off 4chan >:( sorry this tab was still up so i looked but am leaving 4chan now<3 gl!!!!!!!!! :o

>>41444133
“dated the perfect girl ever uhhhhhhh she broke up with me cuz my dick was enormous dude”

>>41447235
i am so sorry new insecurity unlocked wow

im a tranny btw
i’d been good friends with this guy for a few years now and i got on hrt a year ago. before hrt i was pretty depressed and asexual and even for the first several months of it i had zero libido and felt like a freak, but around month 6 i started looking and feeling noticeably different and also got on prog and idk if it was these things combined with me being really sexually repressed by this point and never having liked a guy but i kind of unlocked a libido again like crazy and started noticing how attractive he was, and we kept being good friends and then after a couple months i came out to him and a lot of others in that friend group and he was so absurdly nice to me so the crush escalated like crazy after that and we would play minecraft so much and call and text all the time, but then all of a sudden in july he started being all aloof and like he’s very very conventionally attractive and tall and whatnot and i get it like he has plenty of options and im a tranny and even if i was cis i don’t think id be his type but god it makes me feel like shit to be his friend and have him be so distant now idk what i did. i keep thinking he hates me and he doesn’t want to see me but then i see him and he’s as kind and caring as ever, it’s just that i don’t really think he thinks about me very much otherwise and it makes me so sad. i wish i was enough for him. he even told me i pass and he sees me as a girl and thats just even more infuriating like come on dude please like me. and then i feel genuinely really attractive now and pass and other guys hit on me a lot and they’re just not him idk i wish i could be enough

>>41448420
every time i read one of those posts about a trans girl who’s dating one of her pre transition guy friends who’s now madly in love with her it’s like a little pang to the heart. i wish i could have that so bad i feel like every aspect of my life now tells me im beautiful except him and i hate it i want his fucking approval i want him to stare at me with hunger and protective eyes

>>41448420
You poor thing. It's a horrible feeling to feel not good enough. At the very least you're hot now.

>>41441376
I know this isn't compelling or interesting to read at all, but what's really eating at me is that I haven't been in a relationship in nearly 4 years. I haven't even been on a date. and I know a lot of it is on me for simply not leaving my house enough but I really do just feel so fucking ugly. my friends all say i'm pretty but they're my friends, they're lying. i don't get hit on, i've never been catcalled, i don't get attention in general. nobody wants to date an ugly clocky tranny. I am so desperate and touch starved. If I had a partner I think I would do literally anything for them. It's almost the only thing I think about.

>>41447235
Thats horrible
If you want to avoid that in the future ,it may be best yknow ,show bits of you (even klothed) so they know what you look like and you kan rip the bandaid off early if it turns out they dont like you (this goes for irl and online ,but moreso online)

>>41448420
I get obsessive too and ya ,it really sukks when they dont resiprokate
Maybe he will tho ,or even at least rekonnekt with you
but yknow ,a lot of the time they just deside they dont really wanna be friends with you anymore
It hurts ,but theres little you kan do

>>41448578
holy real. it’s been 3 years for me and i stopped having sex with women back then because PIV made me really dysphoric. but now i don’t just want to have sex with a guy i want an actual partner and idk how to find a guy to hang out with regularly and sleep with and cuddle with and make out with it’s like the only thing i can thing about recently and the scope of this crush has killed me it’s so intoxicating when a hot guy treats you like a girl

>>41444761
that's bad anon.. I went through a few years of something like this too. the sooner you leave it behind you, the better. I know that this kind of relationship can be very addicting due to the intense highs and lows

i still have crushs on two different hs guys that were my friends
i was not on hrt at the time but i were a twink, 5'6, slim, longish hair with bangs, babyface, etc. people always joked that i were gay or even trans (well they were right lol). one of these friends is bi and liked to play with me, "flirt" with me, hug, grabbed me by the hips, we were in a party few months ago and there was some pieces and tools for people to make those diy handmade bracelets and he only did these for two person one for me and other for his gf.
the other liked to play with my hair, in one of these drunk party games he was asked which boy he would kiss if he had to kiss a boy and he answered me, he was like one of the most handsome guys on the class so some girls liked to joke that they wanted to see we both kiss. he said once that if i were a girl i would be his perfect gf. i really liked both but specially him.
now high school is over, one of them i see like once a month and the other once or twice a year, im an ugly boymoder and both have cis gfs :(
>>41448420
i have a similar story with the bi friend :( i feel like i bother him when we talk online but irl he's always so kind with me and hugs me and etc and im not out to them im just a boymoder but he doesnt treat me like he treats the other guys hes... softer? with me. hes bi also but he has a cisgf :(

>>41451810
holy real. my guy also has a cis gf now i feel so utterly worthless in comparison and she’s literally everything im not. i wonder if he’d want me if i was prettier or if its the fact im infertile that makes me worthless

>>41451810
i went to go visit him and the whole time i was worrying and whatnot and then i finally see him hours later and in the middle of like 30 guys he drops what he’s doing and gives me a giant hug. boy please stop making me feel these things

>>41451810
Oh god that hurt to read. The if you were a girl you’d be the perfect gf. I’ve heard that one before and even though you transition and you’re like look I am a girl! It’s not what they meant.
>>41451917
It’s the worst when they get a cis gf. You see what they like and how you’re not like that at all. It hurts so bad.
>>41451930
They have no idea they have that power. They don’t realize they make you fall in love with every nice thing they do.

i have a crush on this guy that i work with and it's ruining my life. i genuinely think he's just the hottest, sweetest guy ever and i love talking to him but he clearly doesn't care as much. he is very close with everyone in his department and they all have a group chat and hang out a bunch, and even though he's friendly with me and we get lunch sometimes, sometimes it feels like he's just doing it to be nice. i'm really nervous when i speak to him which sucks because i'm generally super confident, and i just blab on and on for like an hour at the start of the day when he's definitely trying to work. it just sucks because he's so perfect and hot and sweet and i feel like even feeling this way he can tell or something and i'm making him uncomfortable. it sucks so fucking bad dude

>>41452012
This breaks my heart. Poor lil trans girls with so much love to give and the guys we love are just uneasy with us.

I’ll never forget the game store guy. I had such a huge crush on him. He was perfect. Tall, cute face, great beard, amazing voice and laugh, chubby but still beefy looking. I wanted to jump his bones every time we interacted. He was so sweet to me all the time. We made each other laugh so much. I remember one day I heard him say he broke up with his gf and I knew it was my time. We got closer and closer and even though we only knew each other at the game store I got his phone number and we made plans to eat lunch and play against each other. I thought I was in. After many lunch and play dates I thought it was time to confess. Then one day some troll woman walks in and he’s like heyyyyy guys this is my gf. I was devastated, wtf I thought we were on our way to being a thing. Nope not even close. Of course he married the troll and had kids with her while I remain blown the fuck out.

>>41452058
i don't deserve to burden him with my love, desu. if i were him i wouldn't want a tranny to be in love with me either. he doesn't know i'm a tranny but if he did i'm sure he wouldn't like me at all anymore. he just thinks i'm a lesbian

>>41441376
A year later, and I'm still trying to work out what my ex's deal was. All I know is he went from being super into me, wanting to introduce me to his family, talking about marriage, etc, to freezing me out. Destroyed my confidence. Recently, he viewed my profile on the site where we met 4 times within the space of 2 days. The fuck, dude?

>>41444568
Being attracted to trannies IS a great indicator for bisexuality.
She's just frotting with a different AMaB, now.

>>41448420
>when all the bichuds are like, "ooooo, fresh tranny", but the Kinsey 0 man you like couldn't stomach it

just today it hit me that we knew each other for 10 years. 10 fucking years. and you couldnt even face me as i walked away. or maybe you did, i couldnt look at you as well. and the worst part is that i know you will never chase after me. 10 years down the drain.

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>>41442316
common S. moment
>t. also an S. that did something similar

>>41447115
God has shares in Philip Morris and told his disciples to "hurry up and smoke this shit" through the burning tobacco bush

>>41444761
>>41451200
>the sooner you leave it behind you, the better.
yea you should've just monkey branched like my ex did, you'll move on instantly

>>41453729
if you want to throw yourself a pity party you can make your own post

Imagine being ghosted by someone in a relationship and still wanting them back. The lack of self respect is crazy. If they don't even have the respect to give you closure they aren't worth keeping

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>>41454001
wow, who put a stick up your ass

Hellooooooo

I am new to 4chan so I don't know what to expect

>>41454083
welcome. anyone can take on any name. I am Kermit too, now.
as a general piece of advice, posts get archived, so don't post things you don't want to be permanently accessible

>>41453477
bruh... let me just consider S names a red flag now lmao

>>41454083
don't listen to that dumbass, piss on the screen to get chan coins that you can turn into a pass (you'll hear it talked about a lot here)

>>41454036
something's telling me you sign up for this kinda shit by dating trannies

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>>41441376
i ate too many CHEESE BURGERS
and it break my heart :/ had a heart attack

I can't stand not being friends with him anymore, even if I don't want to date him. I never even got the chance to respond to his last message before he blocked me and to get some proper closure. I keep getting excited to check my discord when i come home in case he added me again but he never does. it's been maybe 20 days. I keep wondering if I should make a 4chan thread begging him to at least talk to me but I don't think that would do any good. He was (and I guess remains) my favorite person ever.
I just hit three weeks without cutting myself and I wish I could share that with him. he was the one who really motivated me to quit, and the only thing that stopped me when he blocked me was the thought that he might want to be friends with me again and would retroactively not want me to hurt myself.
Please just fucking contact me, even if it's to yell at me.

>>41456392
>three weeks
Congratulations anon! I'm proud of you.
This might be a strange sounding crutch to use. But how about you try to think of your future bf, how much you'll love and admire this man, and how you'd like to make him proud.

>>41441376
my ex bf was a poonah and I still miss him so fucking bad 3 years after he dumped me

>>41454036
I did for a couple weeks. But it's been months now and I saw him put up an anti trans suicide profile picture for a day before removing it again. So fuck him, should have never let him fuck me or even come to my house at all.

>>41441376
>dear p
>i know you won't see this bc you're so internet but i wish things went different
>maybe saying someone's a good mom at first glance is weird idk
>maybe trans girls need moms sometimes idk
>i wish we could have been sisters, you know
> maybe in another life we can rip boys guts out or whatever idk what you like these days
>i miss you
>m.

>>41456351
don't you know cheeseburgers are uneatable???? don't ever eat a cheeseburger stick with regular burgers!!!!!

>>41441376
I feel like this is pretty useless for me to do at this point, but I’m just sad and looking for answers. I only knew you for a few months, but during that short time, I feel like we were really understood each other. Seriously, I feel like you’re the most interesting person Ive ever known. Unfortunately, due to my own selfishness caused by this need to make you mine, you (understandably) stopped talking to me. I really thought we were having a good time too. It’s been two months since it’s happened and I’m only just now starting to get over it thankfully. It doesn’t torture my brain like it used to. But it does make me a sad knowing that this may really be the end - no chance of contact ever again. I spiraled because I lost you. Things are kind of looking up now though, i recently got a new job offer. Some delusional part of my brain is telling me that if I get this job and move out then you’ll finally want to be my friend again since you told me on the last day we really knew each other that that’s what you wanted me for me. I know you’re forgetful, but I still hold on to it. If you continue to hate me forever, I understand. I hope you’re doing alright.

>>41458899
what was her name

>>41452625
i think if you’re enough of a passoid even straight guys kinsey 0 will like you. not claiming to be that all

>>41452625
nah im a boymoder so not even a kinsey 1 guy feasibly would want me lol and i dont really blame them. wish i was enough though its also that im really early transition at under a year hrt still

>>41454529
i have an S name. many of us are chill and just want to be loved i promise

>>41457208
Nobody else is the same really. I honestly did think i had a special connection with him, and he said the same.

>>41458899
holy shit i feel like i could've written this myself, maybe editing some parts.

>>41459122
kinda need more of you "normal" S to come out of the woodwork before I believe it. too many "lol I did this too" lmao

>>41458899
oof. I identify with this as well. knew her for a few months, got very attached. it's good you're getting over it anon

>>41459682
well i probably did it too that’s just a function of how this whole world works

>>41460015
>>41458899
Im worried that's why my current thing will turn into, trying not to get too attached but she's got so much going for her that I like

Gonna try and just enjoy it while it lasts and see where it goes without letting the crush crush me

>>41444568
Lmfaooo big ups bruh

>>41460425
did you try asking her out anon?

>>41461818
We're planning on meeting up soonlyish on some level I worry she views the thing as more of a casual hookup, which was all I think either of us wanted at first but the more I get to know her the more I hope it becomes more than that

>>41461952
from my experience: meet first, test the waters about something long term afterwards. some of them get really panicky when notions of actually being liked for more than sex date are thrown around

>>41444568
>After we broke up she joined their polycule. She fell madly in love with one of them and talked to me about it constantly, then 6 months later the girl dumped her and now my ex is stuck living with and dating the fat third wheel in their polycule who refuses to get a job and makes her pay all the rent.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

>>41462245
Yeah that's my plan, like I said just want to enjoy it and see where it goes. I'm new to dating so I think on some level this is me experiencing a lot of these feelings for the first time and learning how to handle them.

>>41462288
That's exactly my experience dude. Hell, I'm the fucking OP. I really fell hard for this girl lol I had relationships before, but still, I suppose I tend to fall in love deeply

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Cis bi guy btw, I had a situationship with some girl that I met through another girl that i met through the board. We like crushed on each other so hard behind our mutual's back before we finally decided to tell her that we were into each other. After that we basically spent the month calling everyday and talking for hours about whatever the fuck. I'm kind of a lonely and insecure person and she would always console me about how she really does like me.

Since she lived a few states away from me she eventually got a plane ticket to come and see me so we could finally spend some irl time together. Waited like the whole month to see her and moved some stuff around in my calender to free up time. Then one of my other online friends invites the girl im interested in over to her house to sleep before she catches her flight (they both lived in the same state). Find out the next day when im drinking with the girl that she had fucked my friend like hours before seeing me for the first time. Cried in front of her while she told me that im such a sweet person who someone will surely love one day. Ended up driving her back to the airport the next day cause i couldnt stand being around her anymore.

shit has ruined my confidence for weeks

>>41462569
. . . what was her name

>>41462594
Why would I say???

>>41462668
to protect your fellow chasers from being hurt

>>41462675
She browses the /lgbt often so i'd rather not take the chance, if she reads this shell know who she is anyways

I've been rejected by every woman I've ever tried to date. Even now I pine for women I was never with. I'm going to die alone.

>>41462915
no way you're actually Cosmo

>>41462569
you got ultra giga hyper cucked over a tranny and it wasn’t even by a dude but a chick?

>>41463307
I think she was just super agp and using me to feel better about herself

>>41462915
chin up anon

>>41458267
>most normal transbian