i started hrt when i was 19 in my sophomore year of college. i roomed with people from my high school, we had an apartment together.i boymoded for the 2 years i was with them.i switched majors and took a year off school so i had 2 more years of college after they left. but still, i was too scared to girlmode or anything like that. i had so much self hatred and insecurity that I forewent learning how to wear makeup, or wearing girl clothes, experimenting with them to see what fits my body.i didnt do any of that. i didn't try to make friends with cis girls because i thought they would see me as a freak. i didnt try to make friends with trans people at college because i was so insecure that seeing other trans people made me very jealous and feel bad about myselfi voice trained consistently (that was the one thing I did) yet I still don't use it in public, im too scared to. im 24 now, ive had ffs, and i still dont use my voice in public.i have so much anxiety and im so insecure that i just want to hide myself forever.i missed out on being a girl in my early 20s and having those good friendships with women that I see other trans women my age having, and it makes me feel this deep dark pit in my stomach.im so far behind.dont end up like me, please. please try with your transition. it is not fun in any sense of the word to live life like how I'm living it right now.
this will 100% be me and ive already accepted it
currently doing the pooner version of this wish me luck
>>41456547>i missed out on being a girl in my early 20si missed doing anything in my early 20s and its soon time for me to die
>>41456547
>>41456547love how the life you're describing is still 100x better than mine. see you'd think i should kill myself, but if i did that would be an improvement, meaning it's impossible for me to execute because I'm probably the reincarnation of hitler and am getting punished for the actions in my previous life now
>>41458677not really
>>41456547>voice trained consistentlyHow did you do that while living with others?
>>41456782Missing the entire point of what being a man is about, bro. Go out and forge your destiny.
>>41456547I rotted and repped through all of college for a meme degree lol, didn’t make a single friend. going to community college soon at 25 as a lateshit twinkhon to try and unfuck my life. thinking about manmoding for the months until I have ffs but I think I’m gonna hon it up until then desu, manmode is too miserable and stops being cute when you’re this old and also makes it impossible to connect with anyone. maybe I can do a little better this time around
>>41456547your experience is very similar to mine nonai feel like i'm almost 30 now and haven't even really started my life, i don't know what the answer is
>>41459912manmoding is way more normal than honmoding bro, especially around people significantly younger than you
>>41456547based and same except i dropped out of college
Now that im approaching 30 i think I care less and less about what ive missed out on and I care more about making literally anything productive happen to have some kind of place in the world of self understanding and acceptance. Im so tired of worrying and panicking and staying still.
>>41460653same during covid
yeah i agreeboymoding for a year or two at most is fine but anything more than that is setting yourself up to failure your transition>t. boymoded for 6 years award
