Hello,I am a gay 23M and I have a bad about myself and fell that I'll end up lonely for all my life (not an incel btw)I have a very hard body complex and depression since 7 years due to "bad things and traumas". I have no gay friends and a very low self estime.Thus I don't grindr because who wants this faggot and the grindr culture is very toxic, and from what I've seen 95% are sex addicted 5% are normal gay but Grindr is a hookup app so I can't blame them. I just hate skinny fat body (178 lbs for 5' 9"). And I'm scared of being recognized.Tbh I'm only alive due to meds the little hope I have.I'm fucking ugly and my personality is very doomer/depressed like. And very weird = I need to change that.Apparently gym could help me but honestly I can't do a push up or a pull up so... Plus I don't know where to start with work out, food, creatine&co,... (/fit/ is very toxic and a incel field). I am into muscular man,bodybuilders shaped like bara man and flip fucker but that just my fetish. Honestly just someone hot that treat me well like wholesome would be fine and that is nice looking not even the next or a sex symbol. I want to feel the warmth of a mutual love, jerking off will never replace thatI still live my very homophobic family and I have to care of some of them who are old and sick + low income job to move out.My goal is just to have my master's degree and leave them to live my gay life. But Europe is not very cheap when in come to like everything.However I don't know what to do, I need help self improver !
>>41466727just start by buying some dumbbells and using them at home.
