>developing an eating disorder as a 26 year old AMAB I feel like an actual retard
>>41472864please stop eating disorders will fuck your shit up for years, physically and mentally in ways that you can't even imagine right now
>>41472864Luckily for you eating disorders are very fem brained
>>41472904Please may you elaborate
>>41472864Take your vitamins and cum, ana
>>41472864if you have a big dick it'll work.i've seen skinny homeless guys your age get picked up by crazy bitches a few times a week.i wondered why they always pick up this homeless dude, then i realized its cause he has a huge dick.
>>41475197I have an estrogenised micropenis
>>41472864Honestly, moodOn the one hand, yayyyy, toxic beauty standards, FUCKING RIBCAGE ass, how cringe you're enforcing patriarchy and you're going to dieeOn the other hand, my body shape gives me less dysphoria than it did when I constantly worked out and was a healthier brick instead (also pre-HRT so far, so I'd rather have no ass, no fat and no muscle, than a shit ton of dysphoric ass belly fat blah blah)Also, would body and leg hair shave, but my fear of it growing back and it being more obvious is bigger because my face stubble is already visible depending on the lighting :(
>>41472931during the peak on my restrictive eating disorder I was too weak to open doors, my heart rate dropped to 30 (YES THREE ZERO) BPM resting, I was constantly cold, I bruised everywhere, I couldn't relax ever because my cortisol was always sky high, I could hardly sleep and I became completely and utterly obsessed with nutrition and food, even if I wasn't hungry, I'd still feel compelled to just look at food in supermarkets and dream about eating it, or reading random books on nutritional biology. It became my biggest obsession.i was literally hungry for 2 straight years after I recovered and my weight literally doubled, I just became straight up fat after a while and I stopped exercising too because that'd make me ravenously hungry and I felt very depressed feeling my thights chafe when I ran. I literally had a boundless appetite, I could eat like 10k calories and still be hungry, which made me feel fucking miserable and disgusting. I really wanted to kill myself during this time. also it completely stunted my breast growth, I eventually had to spend 7k on breast implants when I gave up hope. only thing that messed my shit up more was antidepressant withdrawals which literally drove me to a sucide attempt and still has me in an anhedonic diassociated state to this day, and gender dysphoria ofc.
>>41476022What was your daily calorie intake at peak restriction?
>>414760631000kcal, I also ran like 40k a week and walked everywhere, probably doesn't sound that low but I was also very low bodyfat%
Does starving yourself make you sensitive to temperature? I get super itchy now and this thread made me realize it could be related
>>41477584What was your lowest weight? I’ve been restricting at about that level for a year now and I walk about 30 miles a week. I’m starting to notice similar symptoms, but I’m only at 19 BMI. The problem is that I now have a really hard time eating more even if I’m hungry.
>>41477660my lowest BMI was 17.5don't make the same mistake I did and think "it's only x BMI, that's hardly even underweight!" focus on how you feel, if you're getting super cold and becoming chronically obsessed with food then your nervous system is screaming at you to stop. If you've managed 19 bmi then you're not a delusional fatty who thinks being mildly hungry is starvation mode. please, there's nothing to gain by dieting any further other than constant daily suffering. Don't think "I just wanna try it once" it's not worth it and you'll look back on this years with yearning, then shame as I now do. It literally aged me 10 years in the span of the 4, god knows what damage it did to my heart and my brain.
>>41472864congrats on the fembrain though
>>41477768Thank you anon, I really mean it. I’ve been struggling with this for a while and I do want to stop. It’s helpful to have a perspective of someone who’s been through it. If you wouldn’t mind me asking, what eventually stopped you from restricting? Was there an event, or did you just realise it was unsustainable? And are you at a healthy weight now?
>>41477828one day I just snapped and ate all of the dry food in my house, which was just a bunch of sardine tins, nuts and oatmeal (I only ate one meal a day and I was super crazy about healthy eating hence why I had a bag of nuts despite being restrictive). total calories was probably like 10k. I fasted for 3 days afterwards and then immediately binged again. In a panic I tried vomitting afterwards and realised that I was turning into a binge and purger, so I decided to just recoverIt wasn't easy, and I gave up on recovery many times over the 2 years that it took, but eventually I became more preoccupied with real life and stopped caring enough. Only then did my weight normalise and I managed to put this nightmare behind me. >are you at a healthy weight nowif you're anything like me, then you may be suspicious that I'm actually some lying fat BOPO lunatic now, so I'll include at pic of myselfhonestly I prefer how I looked in past when I was skinny, but this lifestyle keeps my healthy and I can't bare to diet ever again. I just eat what I want within reason nowadays. Can't remember the last time I counted calories.
>>41478038I’m sorry anon, that sounds like a very traumatic ordeal. Good on you for making it through to the other side. You look great :)
