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!!! PSA: With Halloween approaching, everyone on ORAL medication (HRT or any other kind) be mindful of BLACK FOOD COLORING. Make sure that whatever is used is not activated charcoal because it can absorb medication, rendering it inaccessible to your body. Injections are obv unaffected.

Apart from the GOTT, here are a few things you can do _today_ to make your life a little better. Keep a diary and write down every success. Some you may do as often as you please, but write down each one individually! You deserve it! Do not feel pressured to do all, but feel free to select one or two!

- prepare 1 load of laundry
- do 1 load of laundry
- read one page of a book or manga you have been putting off
- cook yourself a meal, or try learn to make a simple dish
- eat a meal
- pick up items on the floor for 5 minutes
- make your bed
- if you have a bad habit, try making it more inconvenient (putting things in hard to reach places for example)
- do the dishes for 3 minutes
- write down one thing you are grateful for (from abstract things to something like a cute image you saw)
- Clean up 1m^2 of your floor (~40x40 in)
- Open your window for 10-20 minutes
- try to exercise for 5 min (walk outdoors, walking stairs, whatever you wish)
- take out the trash
- drink a glass of water
- put one item of trash in the bin
- reach out to an online contact
(perhaps even try arrange spontaneously meeting up with an IRL contact near you!)
- BONUS: Repeat a goal to hit a milestone (1 book chapter rather than a page, the laundry pile, the floor of one room, etc)

(repost)
>>41422216
Heya, sorry for taking almost a week to get back at you, goodness.
>Yeah, that's probably true. It's just that I'm getting older and it feels like, with every year, my (badly defined) goals seem to grow further out of reach.
I 100% get that, especially since some of the bigger goals of yours are broad self actualization things, which are often broad.
>I'm not a big fan of universities, I don't like the social dimension at all
Oh yes, I recall your experiences being very orthogonal to mine, which sucks but I am glad your current setup works for you.
>it was... okay. I guess I've always wanted to do something more theory-heavy
>(which is why I'm back in school right now to begin with)...
That is promising then, absolutely. Basically the things you are already familiar with but better, which sounds vague but I mean at its core the open endedness of more theory leaning work IS the draw!
>Actually, it might just have been a physical thing. I feel better, thank you :)
Glad to hear, Tim!
>Yup. Much better with the start of the semester and allat.
Ah, goodie. Do keep us posted, if it's not to much to ask, just so i know when you are recovering (hopefully swiftly).
>But my new degree (math + CS double major) is even more interesting than my old one (EE)
>and I can skip two(?) classes because of my apprenticeship. So things are looking up :)
Oh that is great news! It really does sound like things are looking up overall, thanks for catching me up. I myself am fine, been a bit exhausted/stressed recently which is why I take longer with posts, but I manage.

(repost)
>>41426245
>Today I did some chores and some self care stuff.
Glad to hear, Anon!
>This is the core issue right now.
> My relationship is good and secure and my girlfriend is lovely.
> But there's just this background noise of fear sometimes.
I fully understand, you are struggling, but scared, because it feels like an uphill battle. So let me ease your mind for a bit. Yes, it does get better. It will get easier, and in time, it might not even occur to you at all anymore. For now, just be patient and forgiving with yourself, even if it requires tricking yourself a bit. But this seemingly uphill battle is not a forever state. You will grow with it.
>>41430772
> 22 mtf boymoder thing, 1yr hrt
Depression is insidious, the worst thing you can do, for now, is stay in the same room for long periods of time. It will take small steps to get out of it, and we should probably look into getting you a support circle of people you can be out to, even if your parents aren't.
>Is there anyway to get past that depression block for doing stuff?
Yes, we have some literature (take how to keep house while drowning, link in the resources) for it, and we have a few video resources for things holding you back (take the sources of misery video). Usually a core issue is friction, meaning you wanna accomplish a task but there is a barrier in the way. Planning (see SMART goals), accountability partners, or adjustments to your environment can change that. Relying on friends can help, too. I can go into detail about any particular thing if you want.
>>41431423
Oh that sucks, yeah, modern detergents are hyper aggressive and so a lot of older clothes don't take kindly to it.. I am sorry it happened. And I am glad the jacket kept you safe in a shitty environment like that. I am very emotionally attached to many of my belongings for a variety of reasons. I hope you had some time to mourn since.
>i'm going to be okay.
I know, but I'd still like to hug you.

(repost)
>>41438187
Oh shit never mind, I forgot the medical thing! Did it heal up? What caused it?
>>41433278
Ah okay, different kinda issue.
>Would that be “May I Ask for One Final Thing”?
Yes, precisely! I find it entertaining, I jokingly called it a "battle shoujo" the other day.
>Earth Maiden Arjuna, I should add, is pretty /sig/-related.
Sounds interesting, might give it a look sometime!
On the topic of cooking, I made some red cabbage today, could have used more varied things to pair it with but at least I have meals for the next two days at work. I used butternut instead of apples to see if it adds some sweetness (which I candied with some sugar in the bottom of the pot before adding the cabbage). It came out alright but it was more a hack to use up leftovers.
>>41440220
>It's saintly of you to dedicate so much of your emotional energy to this for such a long time. Hope things are going well for you.
Thank you for your praise.. I am happy I've been able to keep it up for so many years now.
>Not sure honestly...The last thread I have on my thread watcher is from 2023!
Ah goodness, that's been a while! It especially gladdens me you paid us a visit then.
>
>That fried nood recipe sounds delicious btw
It absolutely was! I've been craving a ton of cabbage recently, right now working through a head of red cabbage.
>>41441739
It sounds like you're quite alone with your troubles overall, Anon. I gather you don't have any friends who are supportive of you?
>>41442448
Sounds like things are going well, happy for you, Anon!

(repost)
>>41448844
And I will keep on rooting for you, Anon.
>>41451124
>Ever since I escaped unsafe places, I struggle with building up a daily routine.
Hm, so what you are looking for is things to do every day, what do you do self care wise?
>I have things I *should* do, like exercising, writing or learning, but I can't have myself do any of it consistently.
One thing is to figure out *why* you put it off in the first place.
Do you know SMART goals? Those help when you put things off by pushing them away in a "will do later (won't)" way. Habituation can help to where we tie particular actions to a trigger, like a morning or evening ritual.
>How do y'all build a life, anons, and how can you be accountable to yourself when fucking something up doesn't have immediate consequences
I feel like hinging on punishment alone might be one of the issues you are facing. You can add some accountability by having friends/loved ones to tell things you plan on doing to. But maybe rewarding yourself for doing good things would be worth looking into?
>>41451249
>Could you expand on that?
The other anon explained it well, there's also plenty of videos along the lines of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0TpWitfxPk giving a brief overview over the infographs that are thrown around.
>>41455925
>that's a good question, I don't really have an answer
Well, we can explore your feelings together if that is what you would like to! Sorry for being slow with my responses, though.

(repost)
>>41461621
I'm sorry to hear, how are things going for you, Anon?
What's your circumstances like?
>>41462011
I see, you feel a strong sense of disconnection with the people around you.
Do you have peers you talk to, on or offline, at least? What are your interests?
>>41466430
(I'm not the anon that used the em dash earlier, btw!)
LaTeX can't deal with unicode as far as I know, except some basic stuff like umlauts. I use it when talking to friends about science or little math games I am playing around with, for the most part. And yeah you caught me I spelled "fags" for funsies! I could have sworn 4chan filters unicode more rigorously but it seems not to be the case on lgbt at least!
>>41468277
I mean, I understand that it hurts to see the art you make for the time being not to be up to the standards you set for yourself, but the question is, do you enjoy the process of making things regardless?
>>41472031
Glad to hear you are doing better now, Anon. All the best!

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And just like that I believe I caught up.
Stay safe everyone.

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Something spooky for october

>>41476104
> Unicode filtering
Is there a vuln I haven't heard of that uses unicode as an attack vector? I know about address faking, but the exploit of that is payload delivery and phishing. A well designed system (and I believe 4chan is among the battle-hardened ones, ir else it would have been hacked far more than the spring shutdown) should accept unicode without issues.

>>41476060
> so what you are looking for is things to do every day
Or a means to plan my days and have something I'm looking forward to.

> what do you do self care wise
Is that a book or a manga?
Seriously what do you consider self care, and why on earth do you think I can ever hope to deserve any of that, and that it wouldn't be just a waste of time?

> One thing is to figure out *why* you put it off in the first place
Wasting time in general doomscrolling?
Or when I punish myself for not doing anything useful by staying up until 0100-0200 hours, doing nothing even then, collapsing into bed, wake sleep deprived between 0715-0900 hours, can't concentrate, achieve nothing, sleep at 0200... I had those loops and I managed to break them once or twice by going to the office, so wake early, tons of caffeine, work until 2000-2100 hours, then bed at 2300-0000 hours, but that doesn't stick.
And also needing the capacity and working on myself every day. If you saw me now and saw me 20MAR or 01AUG (when I escaped said unsafe situation) I'd be different. Although probably it was nothing that's why it was easy to rebuild from there.

I still can't get over my friend having blocked me. it's been nearly a month now and it aches.

>>41476060
> Do you know SMART goals?
I work as a dev (big surprise, agp hons like me do), so I unfortunately do.
> Exercise - Using my fitness tracker tells me I already doubled my calorie output or more since I got out, so that creats a false sense of security, and my weight is trending down, but I still feel I'm not doing enough, since I could exercise more regularly.
> Writing - Relevant, Time-bound, Measurable, Achievable. Yeah, that's a creative task and I won't delude myself I have an imagination woth or without the help of my Other Half.
> k8s - Relevant. I feel I have a deadend job and whatever I try to improve would be irrelevant. Even if I focused on it, I'd need prek8s for the exam (which would make the effort Measurable), and that'd be at least 2 yrs + when I procrastinate or don't have energy.

> friends/loved ones
What a nice joke, thank you, siganon, I needed this laugh.

> accountability by having friends/loved ones
If I externalize my C2, I deliver consistently. But all that proves that I'm too retarded to plan my days without needing someone to order me around and keep me on track. So my real question is how do people do things without being ordered to?
And also, being controlled seems a return to less safe places.

> rewarding yourself for doing good things
With what? Candy to make me fat? Exercise which I postpone already and is a goal? Games or manga which will keep me up all night and feed my insomnia?

>>41476060
>Well, we can explore your feelings together if that is what you would like to!
im good thanks anon
>Sorry for being slow with my responses, though.
no worries, take it easy

bump

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I haven't posted here in a year? and honestly idk why I'm doing it, I still am a depressed loser hon who is now a neet and ghosted my irl friends due to just giving up on life and now my life consists of rotting in bed, sitting in front of pc and talking to one person with occasional cooking or walking the dogs without pretending to care about uni
I honestly don't know what to do with my life or how to even transition successfully past hrt at this point, I have no dreams or goals and am surprised why I tried to kill myself only twice and wish I would listen to my urges more when I were in the more suicidal months
idk I lost my chain of thought so pity me or laugh at me or whatever I just want to be seen a bit

Time for bed.
Tomorrow I will try again.
I will not pick at my razor bumps
I will instead apply a warm compress tomorrow
I shall not epilate again
I shall simply be hairy and cover my legs (they're always covered anyway)
I shall keep my eyes on my values
And those values will guide me
I will remember who I am
Or rather craft a self that I could enjoy being

page 10

Glad this thread is still alive wagmi

>>41432757
>Is it really wasted time, it sounds like you needed some rest!
I'm naturally languorous from my point of view. I guess I also have no frame of reference for other people's productivity, outside of my family. Some of the people I live with are like me, others are supposedly more productive. It feels like nearly my entire life has been people telling me to get off my ass and get shit done. while I'm lazy, I often get conscripted into the service of my family, who unintentionally remind me of such deficiencies.
>It sounds like your bf is helping you ground yourself, and the more people you have that can the easier it gets.
I have some other people I know who occasionally ground me, but I only ever see them, as I said, occasionally. I want people I can rely on frequently, but building those bonds without feeling pushy or like I'm forcing friendship is fucking painful. I can get along with anyone, but not everyone gets me. Trite, I know.
>Have you ever, perhaps with your bf, critically investigated whether you actually do creep people out? Sometimes you closing off in fear of making people uncomfortable can alienate them more than opening up. It's worth trying to get feedback on, people have a habit of mind reading and assuming others feel a certain way that they don't.
Honestly, anon, it feels like people are just so distant that asking them how they feel about anything would just aggravate them. I know of only one concrete case where I creeped out a person in high school, whom I had not interacted with directly in years. That was years ago though. Now? Who knows, maybe. I feel like some women just give me weird looks. I'm just a skinny, nerdy gay who (likely) passes as straight. It feels like some guys just brush me off too for being too nerdy or awkward (really wish I wasn't perceived as a nerd). Maybe my appearance inspires animosity. I have always had neutral face that makes me look angrier or less receptive than I am.

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>activated charcoal can absorb medication
Good PSA.
Here's some other med and supplement related info as an addition to that:
>Vitamin C affects medication uptake
Don't take vit-C or eat foods rich in vit-C at the same time as you take your medication, as it can reduce the effect and duration of it. Wait 2 hours, or take it 2 hours beforehand
>Fibre supplements affect med uptake
By speeding up your bowel movements. Similarly to vit C you'll want to take it separately from your medications (and also separately from your other supplements)
>Zinc supplements can affect ADHD med uptake
By increasing the effect of it. For some this is beneficial, but for others it might be something to avoid. worth keeping in mind either way
>Some supplements and vitamins affect each other
You don't want to take supplements and vitamins that hinder the absorption of each other.
Examples to avoid being:
>vit-C with vit-B, copper
>Iron with vit-D, calcium, zinc, magnesium, and green tea
>Zinc with copper, magnesium, iron
>Magnesium with iron, zinc
On the opposite side of things some good combos that help the absorption each other are
>Magnesium and vit-B
>Vit-D, calcium, and fish oil
>Iron and vit-C

>>41476029
Thank you. I'd like to think I am improving on that front (or changing, at the very least, im not sure if it's for the better), but it still stung.