it’s embarrassing to admit but the only reason I’m trying to better myself is because I want a boyfriend. I’m a bit of a mess rn. I’m 25 and still in undergrad and still don’t make enough to move out, I’ve fallen behind in my classes, and my mental health is abysmal (including an attempt at the start of this year), but I’ve been working so hard to change that lately! For the past decade I had no motivation to get better, but now I have something, and as silly as it is that something is the hope of getting a boyfriend. I’m eating healthier and taking better care of my appearance, I’m studying harder, I’m working more, I’m forcing myself to be more social, I’m picking up new creative hobbies, I’m journaling, I’m trying so hard but it’s not for me, it’s for my future husband and kids. It’s not that I’m super undesirable rn, people think I look pretty and I get along with others but I don’t feel like I deserve a man. I need to become an even better person first. I know I’m not good enough for him yet, but I’m going to be. I’ll get my degree and make enough money to give my kids a good life, I’ll work on my art so I can make gifts for my husband, and I make myself look better so I can find him. When I feel disheartened I imagine going to the zoo with my kids or making hot coco for my husband and it gives me that push I need to get through the day.I don’t like that I’m only motivated to improve myself when I’m doing it for someone else but honestly it’s all I want in life>t.ranny
>>41478047It's not silly, relationships with other people are the reason most people get out of bed in the morning. It sounds like you're doing pretty well so far, I hope you get the man of your dreams!
>>41478047you sound really cute. where are you from? i am a boy and id like a girlfriend
>>41479741I’m sure you’re great but I don’t think my husband is waiting for me on 4 channel dot org. I’d rather find a man who lives near me and meet naturally or even on an app if I need to.
>>41478047This has kind of inspired me to use my despair as motivation.I hope you find him nona. I hope he makes you feel like the most gorgeous person in the world and I hope you adopt a beautiful child together who you will raise to become as good a person as you are. You deserve it nona. Genuinely.
>>41480469> hope you find him nona I used to know all the slang on this board but I have no idea who Nona is or what it means lol. But honestly not knowing slang on this board anymore is probably a good sign for me mentally > This has kind of inspired me to use my despair as motivationYou should! Don’t fall into sedentary doomerism. I got stuck in that pit for years and I’m still climbing out of it. I think it’s sometimes easier to care about other people than it is to care about yourself. It’s a lot easier for me to try to get better for the sake of a hypothetical husband and kid than it is for me to do it for myself. Also as dumb as it us I’ve been forcing myself to reframe how I talk to myself so that instead of thinking “I’ll never have a boyfriend” I think “I need to get better for him” or instead of thinking “it’s over” I tell myself “I’m doing this for them” and that motivates me more than trying to care about myself ever did. It’s not ideal to not be motivated by self love but if it works it works
>>41480638nona is just the feminine form of anonette (spelled backwards) i just think it sounds cuter than anonette.>It’s a lot easier for me to try to get better for the sake of a hypothetical husband and kid than it is for me to do it for myself. Also as dumb as it us I’ve been forcing myself to reframe how I talk to myself so that instead of thinking “I’ll never have a boyfriend” I think “I need to get better for him” or instead of thinking “it’s over” I tell myself “I’m doing this for them” and that motivates me more than trying to care about myself ever did.this is genuinely such good advice for me tysm :,)
